“Search Me!”

“Psa. 139:23    Search me, O God, and know my heart!

                        Try me and know my thoughts!

24        And see if there be any grievous way in me,

                        and lead me in the way everlasting!” (Psalm 139:23-24, English Standard Version)

I am participating in a Bible study, and this is a prayer we are challenged to pray for the next couple of weeks.

I don’t like this prayer. Too uncomfortable! I mean, do I really want God to search me?

Search me!

Of course, God already knows all about me. This is made clear within this same psalm.

“Psa. 139:0      To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David.

Psa. 139:1       O LORD, you have searched me and known me!

2          You know when I sit down and when I rise up;

                        you discern my thoughts from afar.

3          You search out my path and my lying down

                        and are acquainted with all my ways.

4          Even before a word is on my tongue,

                        behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.

5          You hem me in, behind and before,

                        and lay your hand upon me.

6          Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

                        it is high; I cannot attain it.

Psa. 139:7       Where shall I go from your Spirit?

                        Or where shall I flee from your presence?

8          If I ascend to heaven, you are there!

                        If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!

9          If I take the wings of the morning

                        and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,

10        even there your hand shall lead me,

                        and your right hand shall hold me.

11        If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,

                        and the light about me be night,”

12        even the darkness is not dark to you;

                        the night is bright as the day,

                        for darkness is as light with you.

Psa. 139:13     For you formed my inward parts;

                        you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.

14        I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

             Wonderful are your works;

                        my soul knows it very well.

15        My frame was not hidden from you,

             when I was being made in secret,

                        intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

16        Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

             in your book were written, every one of them,

                        the days that were formed for me,

                        when as yet there was none of them.”

I don’t need to pray to God to test and try me so that God will know me. He already does. I need to pray to God to test and try me so that I will know me. And here is the problem: I’m not so sure that I really want to know me. That is the ugly truth.

I certainly don’t want to know my weaknesses. If I know them, I might need to do something about them. I might have to trust God, be accountable for my weaknesses, and work on them.

I don’t even want to know my strengths. It’s more fun (and easier) to pretend that I am not strong. If I ask God to show me my strengths, I might have to stop putting myself down, and do something positive with those strengths.

And that is precisely where this psalm/prayer ends, isn’t it? “. . . and lead me in the way everlasting.”

Oh!

If I want to live my life in a way that lasts forever, I need to know what God already knows—precisely who I am. Whether or not this prayer makes me uncomfortable is not the issue. Living forever is.

“Christian Speech”

Eph. 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

Foulkes, in his excellent commentary on the Book of Ephesians, writes the following, which I quote at some length:

29. Now the apostle turns back to consider the Christians’ speech and conversation. Not only are they to shun all that is deceitful, but all ‘bad language’ (NEB). The adjective used in the Greek (sapros) basically means ‘rotten’, and then has a derived sense of ‘worthless’. It is talk that is ‘rotten’ and that ‘spreads rottenness’ (Barry) like bad fruit, worthless and leading others to think on the worthless. To replace this there is to be what can be described plainly and simply as such as is good (cf. Phil. 4:8). RSV for edifying, as fits the occasion, could be literally rendered ‘for edifying of the need’. The particular Greek word chreia in Acts 6:3 speaks of a ‘matter in hand’, and so here we might translate ‘for the edifying of the matter in hand’; ‘words suitable for the occasion’, Phillips aptly turns it. The thought is that of Proverbs 15:23, ‘a word in season, how good it is!’ [Vol 10: Eph, p. 142] (cf. Ecclus. 20:6–7, 19). As with the consideration of work and wages, the Christian standard is lifted above personal expediency, even above the question of moral right or wrong. The test of a person’s use of money is, ‘What am I giving to those in need?’ The test of conversation is not just ‘Am I keeping my words true and pure?’ but ‘Are my words being used to impart grace to those who hear?’ The grace of the Lord’s own words, the love and blessing which they conveyed, is spoken of in Luke 4:22. The utterance of the Christian is to be characterized by the same grace (cf. Col. 3:16; 4:6).”[1]

My own experience with a person whom I know very well (myself) is that Christians need to examine themselves at this point, repent, and do a whole lot better. My words sometimes are designed to wound, whether or not I admit that fact.

And, of course, I have sometimes been on the other side of the equation. I was at a church dinner when someone said, “Anyone who voted for x is either sick or on welfare.” Now, being the mild-mannered and meek person that I am, I piped up and said, “Well, I voted for x, and I am neither sick nor on welfare.”

Comments such as I received make it hard for me to attend church functions. Imagine the effect of such words on unbelievers. I am very much afraid that the main stumbling block that prevents sinners from becoming followers of Christ is Christians and how we speak. Christians are as bad these days as non-Christians when it comes to name-calling and destructive speech. Do we really think that this is justified because (obviously) our side is right?

So, what would happen if we took seriously Ephesians 4:29? What would happen if we sought to build people up with our words? What would happen if our words were consistently gracious? I think it might be time to at least experiment with obeying God’s Word.


[1]Francis Foulkes, Ephesians: An Introduction and Commentary, vol. 10 of Tyndale New Testament Commentaries. IVP/Accordance electronic ed. (Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 1989), 141-142.

“God is in the Details”

“The devil is in the details.” (A general saying, often quoted by lawyers, reporters, and negotiators.)

“God is in the details.” (Me, almost certainly not original.)

Luke 12:7 Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.” (Jesus)

God does not micromanage, but God is a God of the details. As I was thinking about my students (many of whom live in Florida) and praying for them this morning, I was greatly comforted by the thought that God knows every one of them by name. God knows where they are and how they are. In fact, God has a detailed understanding of the entire universe.

And then I thought of the saying about the devil being in the details. Why on earth should we recognize the presence of evil, but ignore the presence and wisdom and compassion of God?

Jesus told his followers not to worry. God has a detailed understanding of them. They don’t and we don’t have to understand much. However, we do need to understand that God understands the details of our individual and collective lives.

I don’t have a lot of hair left, but I don’t know precisely how many there are. I don’t know how many days I have left on this planet, either. But God knows. Maybe that is enough.

“Grandma’s Pump”

When I was a little critter, I would stay at my grandma’s house for a night or two sometimes. I liked this for a lot for many reasons. One thing I liked about staying with her was that Grandma’s house was much more technologically advanced than ours was. For one thing, she had indoor water—sort of.

We had running water, if we ran to fetch it from the well or, when the well ran dry, from the pond. Grandma, on the other hand, had a handpump inside her house, just off her kitchen. I was very impressed!

However, in the mornings when we got up, the pump had lost its prime. There was just air in the line, and you couldn’t get a drop of water out of it, no matter how hard you pumped. My grandmother solved this problem in a very simple manner: She had a small bucket with water in it beside the pump. Each evening, she pumped some water into the bucket so that, in the morning, she could pour it down the pump shaft while working the pump handle.

Voila! Water!

I was thinking about Grandma’s pump in connection with a recent phone conversation with a twelve-step friend. We were talking about the importance of how we start our day and how difficult it is to get started on doing the next right thing. Grandma’s pump came to my mind, and a thought-provoking question flowed out of it: What thing or things can I do to prime my pump?

Of course, this question itself is a way of priming of the pump and is useful in all sorts of ways.

  • How do I prime my pump spiritually? For me, this involves prayer, the Bible, and meditation.
  • How do I prime my pump physical? Two things that I have been doing regularly of late are walking (and a little running or jogging) about 7,000 steps and doing stretches and weights.
  • How do I prime my pump mentally? I am trying to learn something new every day. For example, I get a word-of-the day from Anu Garg. Today’s word was “Penelopean”. (No, I’m not telling you what it means. Think about it, try to figure out on your own what it means, and then look it up. You might want to sign up with Anu Garg to get his daily words.) I am also learning a little Spanish.
  • How do I prime my pump relationally? For me, this basically means connecting in a positive way with my little dog Laylah, my twelve-step friends, and my wife, Sharon. (No, these are not listed in the order of importance. They are listed in the order of when I encounter this little furry critter and my human posse.)

It would probably be a good idea to make a list in the evening as to how I plan to prime the pump the next day. Grandma needed a bucket. I need a bucket list. Not a bucket list of exotic locations to visit or difficult things to do, just a bucket list of things to prime the pump.[1]


[1] This post was produced without the aid of AI. Hopefully, it was produced with some sort of intelligence.

“Wearing the #14 Wrong-Side-Out”

Pete Rose, #14, is dead. Many of the old guys with whom I play softball watched him play and appreciated him greatly. I do as well. He was one of the greatest players who ever played the game. Yes, he admitted (eventually) to betting on baseball. But many of us still regard him as one of the greatest.

He wasn’t the greatest in terms of size. (I heard that, one time a coach in the minors told him he simply wasn’t big enough to ever make the majors.) Perhaps did not have the most innate talent. But he worked very hard. And I think it’s safe to say that he made the majors.

He was, in many ways, an inspiration to a lot of us. I still run to first base when I get a walk in softball. I have, however, pretty much given up on head-first slides—for now.

Another member of the senior softball league I play in, Wayne, wrote the following:

“My son wore #14 all during select baseball. I told him, ‘If I ever see you not hustle, you will take off your jersey and wear it inside out.’ He never had to do it.”

Now, I call myself a “Christ-follower”. Sometimes, I am more of a “Christ-stumbler”. But I am going to try to find a t-shirt that says something like “Jesus is King”, and every time I think, say, or do something that is un-Christlike, I am taking my personal #14 off and wearing it inside-out for at least an hour. Perhaps I’ll stumble less and follow more closely that way.

“Passing Along the Love (and a Link)”

Several years ago, a friend of mine put me onto a daily meditation by Richard Rohr and friends. I don’t read them all the time, but I probably should. They are good! I thought that today’s writing was especially good, and I also figured that this would be a good way to post something. I get into bad habits (like procrastination) so easily. I also get out of good habits (like posting something every day) equally easily. So, perhaps tomorrow, you’ll get something written by me. God is a God of miracles! Consistency is a daily miracle which I need to cultivate.

So, here is the link. Enjoy!

https://centerforactionandcontemplation.forwardtomyfriend.com/d-ikikdkehl-C1E40D6B-euythjt-l-g

Down to Earth Believer

“Witnessing Versus Being Witnesses”

Acts 1:1 In the first book, O Theophilus, I have dealt with all that Jesus began to do and teach,

Acts 1:2 until the day when he was taken up, after he had given commands through the Holy Spirit to the apostles whom he had chosen.

Acts 1:3 He presented himself alive to them after his suffering by many proofs, appearing to them during forty days and speaking about the kingdom of God.

Acts 1:4 ¶ And while staying with them he ordered them not to depart from Jerusalem, but to wait for the promise of the Father, which, he said, “you heard from me;

Acts 1:5 for John baptized with water, but you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit not many days from now.”

The Ascension

Acts 1:6 ¶ So when they had come together, they asked him, “Lord, will you at this time restore the kingdom to Israel?”

Acts 1:7 He said to them, “It is not for you to know times or seasons that the Father has fixed by his own authority.

Acts 1:8 But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” (English Standard Version)

Recently, while preparing for a small group Bible study group meeting, I suddenly noticed the obvious. Jesus does not tell his disciples that they will witness. Rather, Jesus tells them that will be witnesses.

Now you might ask, “What is the difference?” I am so glad that I am writing this post, because I can anticipate questions that you may not even be asking. I HAVE THE POWER!

Of course, there may not actually be a difference. After all, a witness is a person who witnesses. Right?

Well, yes, but being a witness is more than simply something we do. Being a witness is something we are.

Think about it for a minute. Let’s say that you witness a crime. Does it matter the sort of person you are? You bet it does! If you are a person who is prone to exaggeration or who has any number of other problems or issues, that might get in the way of being a good witness. If a blind man says to the police, “I saw the whole thing, officer,” his testimony might not be very persuasive in a court of law.

Fundamentally, a witness must be an honest person, a careful observer, and not have a vested interest in giving a particular testimony about the matter at hand. Character matters. I think that many of us who name the name of Christ have forgotten that. I have often forgotten this myself. The saying that comes to mind is “Your life is screaming so loud that I can’t hear a word you’re saying.”

I have occasionally known people who didn’t need to say much about Jesus because they were consistently Christ-like. I haven’t known many folks like that. I have seldom been that person. But some people do exist.

Being Christ-like—also known as being witnesses to Christ—is not something we can do by our own willpower. Jesus promised that the Holy Spirit would come upon the original disciples to give them the power to be his witnesses. I don’t think this promise was merely for them. Their experience of divine filling is a template and an exemplar for every generation and every person. To be witnesses we must be filled with the Holy Spirit. Otherwise, we’ll be witnessing without being witnesses. And this would mean that we are not doing Jesus any favors. As a friend of mine said many decades ago, “The Christian life is awfully hard to live without God.”

“A Bathroom Prayer for Hurting Hands”

A week ago Sunday, my hands were hurting so badly at church that I went to the bathroom to run hot water over my hands. Arthritis perhaps, or carpal tunnel, or general orneriness—I don’t know why my hands hurt, but they do. They have for years.

So, while I was running hot water over my hands in the church’s men’s room, I prayed out loud. (Hey! Don’t you judge me! After all, the Bible says that we are to pray without ceasing, right?)

“God, my hands hurt a lot. If I am doing something I shouldn’t or if I’m not doing something I should, please let me know what to avoid or do to participate in my own healing. I do believe in miracles, so if you want to do something miraculously immediate, it would not hurt my feelings. On the other hand, if my pain would in some way glorify you, don’t take it away. May not pain or any miracle take precedence over loving You and others, LORD.”

And whether it was God directly, or the prayer itself, or the hot water, or all of the above, my hands did suddenly start feeling better. Altars aren’t the only place where prayers can be answered. Sometimes bathrooms will work, thank you very much!

“Waiting and Seeking”

Lam. 3:19 ¶ Remember my affliction and my wanderings,

                        the wormwood and the gall!

Lam. 3:20       My soul continually remembers it

                        and is bowed down within me.

Lam. 3:21       But this I call to mind,

                        and therefore I have hope:

Lam. 3:22 ¶    The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;

                        his mercies never come to an end;

Lam. 3:23       they are new every morning;

                        great is your faithfulness.

Lam. 3:24       “The LORD is my portion,” says my soul,

                        “therefore I will hope in him.”

Lam. 3:25 ¶    The LORD is good to those who wait for him,

                        to the soul who seeks him.

Lam. 3:26       It is good that one should wait quietly

                        for the salvation of the LORD.” (English Standard Version)

Lamentations is about the destruction of the city of Jerusalem by the Babylonians in the 6th century B. C. It is a book filled with raw emotion and darkness. The shines through in the verses that lead off this post, but immediately, the Darkness reasserts itself.

But even remembered sunlight is good. We need to take seriously the pain and the darkness, but we also need to remember the Light. And what is this Light? It goes by many names: the goodness of God, mercy, and deliverance are three of those names.

Faith taps into the goodness of God, his mercy, his deliverance. But faith has two seemingly contradictory aspects. Did you notice those “contradictions” in vs. 25? Let me highlight them for you.

“The LORD is good to those who wait for him,

            to the soul who seeks him.”

Waiting and seeking: which one should we do? Both! The Christian faith does not, cannot, choose between action and meditation. It embraces both. Are there some Christians who tend to be better at action, while other individual Christ-followers are more contemplative? Probably so. However, we all need both. Seeking means there are things we can do to experience the presence of God. Here is a very partial list:

  • Pray.
  • Read the Scriptures.
  • Worship with other believers.
  • Worship by yourself.
  • Do works of love for others.
  • Commune with nature. (God is not nature, but it is God’s creation.)

But waiting and hoping is also important. We cannot compel God’s presence by our actions, even if God does require them. Our works are required, but are not sufficient. If we were simply told to seek, we would wind up with either pride because we might think we’re seeking really diligently, or we would end up with despair because we would know that we’re not really seeking all that diligently. And neither pride nor despair are ways of finding the One who is seeking us.

“A Pastor or a Teacher?”

I went to the Asbury University President’s Brunch yesterday morning with Sharon. It was billed as a non-fundraiser. I have learned to be skeptical of such claims. However, it really wasn’t a fundraiser! It was a wonderful time. The university paid for everything, including valet parking. It was good to meet new people, all of whom had some connection to this university that I love. I came more alive in this setting. Years ago, a good friend who was also one of my students in a New Testament Greek class, said “You come alive in the classroom.” Lois was right. Apparently, I even come alive in academic settings at the Westin Hotel.

I got a chance to chat for several minutes with Kevin Brown, Asbury’s president. He was very generous with his time. He heard a bit of my story. I told him that I had been a pastor for a long time and am now teaching online courses for Southeastern University. After listening, Dr. Brown asked me a very thought-provoking question: “Would you say that you are primarily a teacher or a pastor to your students?”

Simple yes-or-no questions can bring me to a screeching halt. Like a deer caught in the middle of the road, I stopped, unable to go this way or that. If you stop in the middle of the road, you sometimes get struck by the truth. That is what happened to me.

My wife walked up as I was struggling with the answer. When she was apprized of the question, she responded with one word: “Both.” My wife has a way of cutting to the chase.

Here is the thing as best I understand the “thing”: We are all called to help others along in our pilgrimage. The word “pastor” historically means “shepherd”. A shepherd—at least a good one—takes good care of his flock. So does a good professor. So does any person who does any kind of good work. Moms, dads, nurses, doctors, counselors, utility workers, engineers, and everyone else who does anything else that is at all worthwhile have the privilege and responsibility of caring for others. No exceptions.

And we all do learn from one another. Or, at least, we should. Therefore, we are all teachers. We may not know it, but we are. We teach by our words, but more so by our deeds. We teach by our silent attitudes. We teach by returning or making phone calls.

So, while it may be true that the words “pastor” and “teacher” may be defined more narrowly, they also have some broader and deeper connotations. As good as Dr. Brown’s question was, there is an even more profound question: “Am I being a good pastor-teacher today? Am I building people up? How can I do better at that?

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