Posts By Dteb
“Engaging with Juggling and the Success in Failing”
Last evening, I was pulling out of my parking space after a twelve-step meeting and getting ready to head home. A couple of other young people (college age, I suppose) were getting out of a car. One of them was already out and juggling some objects that looked like bowling pins. Not just juggling; juggling quite well.
I wasn’t in a hurry, and I’ve always wanted to learn to juggle. My attempts have been pretty pathetic and very intermittent. I stopped and rolled down my window for a chat. “Well done!” I exclaimed. “I’ve always wanted to learn to juggle, but I’m afraid that I’ve never gotten the hang of it. I’ve failed.”
The young person smiled and said, “Engaging with the activity is success, even if you fail.”
Ironically, my affirmation for the day was as follows:
“Today, by God’s grace, I am eating wisely, exercising, and working on my studies, the house, and the flower beds with a thankful heart. I refuse to be morose, even when I mess up.”
It is amazing how things come together like that, isn’t it? Some people call it “synchronicity”, but no matter what you call it, it is a strange and wonderful thing to experience.
But back to the main point of this post: I have never had a high tolerance for failure. On the other hand, failure is the only way to learn and grow and (eventually) succeed, at least some of the time. But this wise young person had reframed the whole matter of failure and success for me. Engaging with something or someone in a healthy and respectful manner is itself success.
I think I am going to learn how to juggle.
“No End to Better”
I have always wanted to be better. There have been times when I thought I was succeeding in that desire, but not very often. In what arena did I (and do I) want to be better? You name it; I want to be better at it.
There are little endeavors such as chess and softball. Then there are the really important things: being a better writer, a better teacher, a better husband, a better follower of Jesus.
That desire for improvement and growth is not always a good thing, frankly. Sometimes, I want to be better for self-serving reasons. There are also times when wanting to be better keeps me from enjoying people and life in the moment. Often, my quest (lust?) for better only succeeds in making me bitter that I’m not—not better, that is.
A friend of mine who is also on a quest for better gave me a wonderful saying that I had never heard before: “There is no end to better.” That could be bad news. If there is no finish line, no end in sight for better, how do I know when I’ve finished the race?
But perhaps a race is not the best metaphor here. Perhaps a marriage would be a better analogy. My wife and I will soon be celebrating fifty years of marriage. We have our struggles and disagreements, as all couples do. But we are both committed to making our relationship better. I’ve often said that, if you’re not working on your marriage, you’re working on you divorce. That is not pessimism. That’s the way it is.
So, the fact that there is no end to better is good news, actually. It means that no matter how long you and I have been around and doing things, we can still be better. And really now: Do you really want to just stay the same?
“Not Every Day is Going to be a Ten”
A friend of mine, who is a fellow-addict, often helps me to write these posts. He does a daily report to me. He had a rough day yesterday, but acknowledged in his report, “Not every day is gonna be a 10.”
This is a hard truth that I have to learn and relearn every day of my life. For example, yesterday I broke the terminal post off a new battery I was trying to install on my riding lawn mower. However, I tried something new: I refused to call myself a lot of unflattering and unrepeatable names. We can’t afford to buy another battery right now, but the old battery will still work (at least for now), if I charge it up before I try to start the mower.
My friend stayed sober and did good, healthy things despite his tough day. He also made a gratitude list. It is a never-ceasing wonder to me how many things there are in the universe for which to give thanks. For example, yesterday there was a mixture of sunshine and rain showers. During one of the little showers, I stood outside and just experienced the rain. I looked at the rain on the leaves of our wisteria, the flowers that my wife loves and knows all the names of, the green grass that needed to be mowed. I felt such joy.
My wife saw one of her little hummingbirds a couple of times today. She planted some basil in flowerpots, and it is thriving. She used to air fryer to dry some basil leaves, and the whole house smelled like basil. Nice!
Not every day is going to be a ten, but if we are alive, we get to experience whatever comes our way. Some of those experiences will be profoundly uncomfortable. Occasionally, those experiences will even be tragic. However, the fact is that we get to experience life makes every day worthwhile, even if is a .002 day.
Not a Stray Anymore
A friend of ours loves cats, especially cats who are strays or sick or abandoned. I’m not sure if such forlorn felines find Sarah or if Sarah finds them. All I know is that Sarah and the cats find each other.
Being a stray is not an easy life. Neither is being astray from God or others or your own better self. Believe me: I tried it for a long time, and being a stray is not freedom in any sense that is worthy of the name freedom. You can’t relax, you can’t rest, and you’re never sure about anything or anyone.
But when you’re not a stray anymore, when you feel that you belong, . . . what a wonderful feeling it is!
During his earthly life, Jesus seemed to take in a lot of stray cats of the two-legged variety. In fact, Jesus got in trouble for it. “He eats with sinners, tax collectors, and prostitutes,” complained the good (?) religious people of that day.
But the strays had a different opinion about Jesus. They were just glad to finally have a home, good food, and a place in the heart of Jesus to rest.
The Bible may not speak of us as stray cats, but it does speak of us as sheep that are terribly prone to straying. “All we like sheep have gone astray, we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.” (Isaiah 53:6, English Standard Version) And Peter writs, “For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.” (1 Peter 2:25)
So, I’m not a stray sheep any more. I’m not a stray cat either. I belong.
So do you, whether or not you know it. God has a very big house. There is plenty of room for all the stray human cats in the universe. And if there are stray creatures in other parts of the universe, there is room for them too. Life is great when you’re not a stray anymore.
“Standing Up For Our Limits”
“Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.” (Matthew 5:37)
“Now the inner voice of our Higher Power is showing us our limits and encouraging us to stand up for them.” (From Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men ©1986, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.)
Standing up for our limits: What an interesting and bizarre thing to do! We usually stand up for our own rights. Occasionally, we stand up for the rights of others. We also stand up and speak up sometimes when we should sit down and shut up.
But standing up for our limits? Really? Is that even a thing?
Yes, it is a thing. Frequently, it is a good thing. I only have so much time. Saying yes to everything and everyone is not a real option, though I often pretend it is. When I do that, I stress myself out trying to keep up with all my yeses. I become resentful about all the things I have to do, even though I’m the one who agreed to do them. As Andy Stanley says, “You were present at every single decision you ever made.” And other people also get stressed out by my unfulfilled (or under-fulfilled) yeses.
Probably the most serious aspect of the matter is that, when I do not stand up for my limits, I neglect people and things that really need and deserve my attention. As someone has said, “When you’re saying yes to one thing, you’re saying no to another.” Recognizing my limits is a way of loving other people, ourselves, and God—all at the same time.
Years ago, I read somewhere that “No,” can be a holy word. That is a form of holiness that I need to pursue with more diligence. You too?
“The Art of Distracting Ourselves with Small White Stones”
“Let your eyes look directly forward,
and your gaze be straight before you.
Ponder the path of your feet;
then all your ways will be sure.
Do not swerve to the right or to the left;
turn your foot away from evil.” (Proverbs 4:25-27, English Standard Version)
A couple of friends of mine were out walking and talking with one another at a park when a very pretty young lady jogged by them. They are trying to be men of integrity, so they both quickly lowered their gaze to contemplate the paved asphalt path below them.
“Hey!” said one of them. “I never noticed that this asphalt has little white stones in it.”
“Me neither!” responded the other guy.
Distractions can be a bad thing, if they are keeping us from doing good things. However, distractions have their good side, too. Sometimes we can distract ourselves from doing things, saying things, or thinking things that we will very soon regret.
Many distractions are external and, therefore, out of our control. But we can also choose to distract ourselves. This doesn’t have to be a big production. In fact, the simpler the better. Years ago, I heard a man who was facing down a terrible addiction say the following: In the early days of his recovery, when the addiction came knocking at the door, this man would start flipping through food recipes in order to distract himself. It worked for him!
We have a saying in twelve-step programs, “Move a muscle, change a thought.” It really is true.
And sometimes, just by noticing what is around us, we are distracted in a holy, healthy way. There are times when a few white stones on the pathway are enough to keep us on The Path. What are your white stones?
“America the Beautiful and the Flawed”
“O beautiful for spacious skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!
America! America!
God shed His grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!
O beautiful for pilgrim feet,
Whose stern, impassioned stress
A thoroughfare for freedom beat
Across the wilderness!
America! America!
God mend thine every flaw,
Confirm thy soul in self-control,
Thy liberty in law!
O beautiful for heroes proved
In liberating strife,
Who more than self their country loved
And mercy more than life!
America! America!
May God thy gold refine,
Till all success be nobleness,
And every gain divine!
O beautiful for patriot dream
That sees beyond the years
Thine alabaster cities gleam
Undimmed by human tears!
America! America!
God shed His grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!”
A friend of mine wished me a happy Fourth of July this morning. Then he added, “I wish our national anthem was ‘America the Beautiful’!”
Me too! Katharine Lee Bates wrote the words to “America the Beautiful” when she was on a wagon and mule trip to the top of Pike’s Peak. She arrived near the summit very tired, but was filled with joy as she looked out across the plains of Eastern Colorado.
Bates was a social reformer. She loved America, but also saw that it had its faults that needed to be mended. And she also believed that only God could mend them.
“God shed His grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!” (End of the first stanza and the fourth stanza)
“God mend thine every flaw,
Confirm thy soul in self-control,
Thy liberty in law!” (End of the second stanza)
“May God thy gold refine,
Till all success be nobleness,
And every gain divine!” (End of the third stanza)
I didn’t realize until quite recently that after addressing America twice, Bates prayed. I had always read the words “God shed his grace on thee” as a statement of fact. In fact, it wasn’t. It was a prayer that God would grant God’s grace. (This is shown be the fact that the next line of her poem doesn’t say that God had already crowned America’s good with brotherhood. Rather, Bates is praying that God would do that.)
And the rest of Bates’ poem continues that pattern. She speaks of great past deeds and even greater dreams for America’s future, but in each stanza she follows up past deeds and future dreams with a very bold prayer to God. I am especially struck by the prayer, at the end of the second stanza:
“God mend thine every flaw,
Confirm thy soul in self-control,
Thy liberty in law!”
I am not a very self-controlled person myself, and I fear that, as a nation, we are all becoming less and less self-controlled. If you really want evidence, I have two words for you: the internet. It’s not just the pornography or the scams that show how uncontrolled we are. It is the hateful words that even good, supposedly Christian people vomit out on a daily basis that shows the level of our lack of self-control.
There seems to be a movement afoot in our nation to pretend that America is just fine—or would be if we just elected or reelected ___________________. (Fill in the blank with your favorite choice.) There is also a movement that tries to deny that America has any systemic racism or any other serious flaws. I don’t think Katharine Lee Bates would agree. I don’t either. I don’t believe in either bashing our country or putting America on a pedestal. My wife loves me dearly and I love her as well. However, neither of us ignores the other’s flaws. We love one another too much for that kind of nonsense. Contrary to the popular saying, love is not blind.
When will we begin praying for and living out the sort of America that Katharine Lee Bates saw and sang? How about starting on July 4, 2023?
“To Show is to Teach”
“Psa. 51:1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
and cleanse me from my sin!
Psa. 51:3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is ever before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you may be justified in your words
and blameless in your judgment.
5 Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
and in sin did my mother conceive me.
6 Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being,
and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.
Psa. 51:7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones that you have broken rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins,
and blot out all my iniquities.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
11 Cast me not away from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and uphold me with a willing spirit.
Psa. 51:13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will return to you.
14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God,
O God of my salvation,
and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness.
15 O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
Psa. 51:18 Do good to Zion in your good pleasure;
build up the walls of Jerusalem;
19 then will you delight in right sacrifices,
in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.” (English Standard Version)
I am trying to learn Spanish. This morning I encountered a different nuance to the word enseñar. I knew that the word meant “to teach”, but I was not sure what to do with it in the following nonsensical translation: “I am teaching them the offices.” However, I soon learned that enseñar can also mean “to show”.
“Oh, that makes sense,” I said to myself. “I am showing them the offices.”
Of course, there is no language that has one (and only one) meaning for every word. Some words may be used very broadly to mean many different things, and some words may be very specific in their usage, but no language has only one meaning for every single word. Nobody wants to speak or write or learn a language with a gazillion words to the nth power.
But then, my tangential attention went somewhere else. I thought, “Huh! To show and to teach! I wonder what happens if you put those two nuances together and encourage them to have a more or less civil conversation. Who knows? They might become friends.”
At that very moment a blinding flash of the obvious struck me: The truth is that the best way to teach is to show.
The Bible has much to say about this. For example, the Apostle Paul writes to Titus, a leader in the early church,
“Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity,
and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.” (Titus 2:7-8, English Standard Version)
I think that the word order is significant here. First, show yourself to be a model who is doing the good works. Then you can teach others to do that.
Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:19 also come to mind. In a discussion of the Old Testament Law, Jesus says, “Therefore whoever relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven.” (English Standard Version)
Notice that Jesus also puts doing before teaching. Keeping the commandments, according to Jesus, needs to accompany and precede teaching.
In a similar—yet very different way—in Psalm 51, we see this same dynamic relationship between showing-by-doing and teaching. David says, “Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will return to you.” (Psalm 51:13).
However, this pledge to teach sinners comes only after he has shown his terrible wickedness to God and to other worshipers in this psalm. Apparently, even not doing God’s will can make us good teachers. There is hope, even for those of us who (like me) have not always done things God’s way. But the teaching comes only after the confession.[1]
God wants us to teach others by showing them the way, not by telling them off. Our positive trust in God and obedience to God is our primary teaching tool. That is most pleasing to God and the best approach to teaching others. However, even our wrongs can be a means of showing others the right way, provided we don’t give up on ourselves or God’s forgiveness.
I was at Kroger yesterday, and asked one of the workers where I could find the fiber powder. “Aisle 39, bottom shelf,” she replied, pointing me in the right direction. I turned in the direction she had pointed, and immediately realized that the aisle numbers started at 31 and got smaller. However, my guide did not abandon me. She realized the error of her ways and found me right away. “I am sorry. I am so confused!” And then she took me took the right aisle and pointed at the fiber powder. (Yes, it really was on the bottom shelf!) I was impressed with both the young lady’s knowledge and her humble admission of her mistake. I was even more impressed with her when she pointed at the fiber powder. If she hadn’t, I might have come home with talcum powder.
God is powerful enough to use our good showings and our bad showings to lead others to God and to a better way of living. I am searching for one word in English/American that conveys this concept. I can’t think of one. However, perhaps I can boil it down to four words: humble obedience and honesty.
[1] Of course, God already knew precisely about David’s evil deeds, but I’m not sure David really knew how deadly serious things were until God confronted him and David confessed his wrongdoing. Sometimes, we don’t know how bad things are until we confess how bad things are.
“On Childproof Seals and Persistence”
“The Parable of the Persistent Widow
Luke 18:1 And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart. 2 He said, “In a certain city there was a judge who neither feared God nor respected man. 3 And there was a widow in that city who kept coming to him and saying, ‘Give me justice against my adversary.’ 4 For a while he refused, but afterward he said to himself, ‘Though I neither fear God nor respect man, 5 yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will give her justice, so that she will not beat me down by her continual coming.’” 6 And the Lord said, “Hear what the unrighteous judge says. 7 And will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long over them? 8 I tell you, he will give justice to them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?” (Luke 18:1-8, English Standard Version)
I don’t know if “child-proof” packaging frustrates children, but it most definitely proves frustrating to this old guy. You see, not to get too graphic, I have some chronic digestive issues which makes it desirable for me to take over-the-counter meds. And these meds come in childproof individually wrapped packages. They have a tab, but I’ve tried various ways of using those tabs, and nothing seems to work. Even my wife has difficulty with them and has to resort to scissors to cut them open.
However, being the stubborn individual that I am, I decided to try to find a way to open it when I did not have scissors with me. My determination paid off. I discovered that if I ran my thumbnail along the pill packages where they were scored, and if I kept on doing that for long enough, I could liberate my antidiarrheal pills. Persistence pays off!
Anytime that you’re doing something that needs to be done, persistence also pays off. However, with very few exceptions, I am not known for patience or persistence. I expect to do things perfectly (or at least well) right now, effortlessly. My middle name is not Persistence.
Jesus told a story about a widow whose first name was “Persistent”. She kept going to the same corrupt judge over and over and over, seeking justice. She eventually got her justice, not because the judge was just, but because she was just a pain in various parts of the judge’s anatomy.
Jesus explains that God is not corrupt like the judge. God will take care of his people’s needs speedily. And yet, it seems to me that Jesus indicates that there is the need for persistent faith and prayer in God’s children. It seems so to me because Jesus explicitly says that this is so.
But if God is going to speedily intervene on behalf of God’s children, why there is the need for persistent faith and prayer? I don’t know. Jesus often juxtaposes two things, that in our way of thinking, don’t make sense together. Jesus, like Mary Poppins, never explains anything. But while I don’t know, I do have a couple of suspicions.
First, I suspect that God’s speedily isn’t our speedily. We are creatures of the moment. God is the Creator of all moments, and God lives in eternality. So, while we wait for God’s speed, we need to persistently pray and trust.
Second, I suspect that we wouldn’t even realize that it was actually God intervening if we did not persistently pray and trust. This suspicion is based on my own experience and the experience of others who have reported the same. Without persistent trust and prayer, we would ascribe the meeting of our needs to anything but God. We would fall into the delusion that it was luck, or hard work, or—worst of all—the result of our own goodness.
Now, I would really stop here, but in the interest of full disclosure, I have a confession. It is this: Here of late I haven’t been persistent in prayer, trust, or much of anything that is good. I haven’t murdered anybody or robbed a bank this past week, but I haven’t been persistent or consistent in Bible reading, prayer, praise, gratitude, service, or even making my bed and taking regular showers. Sorry to be so blunt, but I’ve just been kind of a mess. Not a total mess, but a mess nevertheless.
So, one of the things that I am going to be persistent about is writing and posting on this website every day this week. Hold me to that, dear reader!
Oh, I almost forgot! I’m also shaving and taking a shower every day.
DOWN TO EARTH BELIEVER
- “Witnessing Versus Being Witnesses” September 19, 2024“Acts 1:1 In the first book, O Theophilus, I have dealt with all that Jesus began to do and teach, Acts 1:2 until the day when he was taken up, after he had given commands through the Holy Spirit to the apostles whom he had chosen. Acts 1:3 He presented himself alive to them after […]
- “A Bathroom Prayer for Hurting Hands” September 11, 2024A week ago Sunday, my hands were hurting so badly at church that I went to the bathroom to run hot water over my hands. Arthritis perhaps, or carpal tunnel, or general orneriness—I don’t know why my hands hurt, but they do. They have for years. So, while I was running hot water over my […]
- “Waiting and Seeking” September 10, 2024“Lam. 3:19 ¶ Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall! Lam. 3:20 My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. Lam. 3:21 But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: Lam. 3:22 ¶ The steadfast love of the LORD […]
- “A Pastor or a Teacher?” September 8, 2024I went to the Asbury University President’s Brunch yesterday morning with Sharon. It was billed as a non-fundraiser. I have learned to be skeptical of such claims. However, it really wasn’t a fundraiser! It was a wonderful time. The university paid for everything, including valet parking. It was good to meet new people, all of […]
- “Even When We Mess Up” September 8, 2024One of my students in the Luke-Acts course I’m teaching right now online made a very perceptive comment in a post to another student’s work. She and the other student, Mackenzie, agreed on an excellent point: God can even use our mess-ups for his purposes and glory. Here is Victoria’s comment: “Mackenzie, your perspective on […]
- “On Playing Chimes and Being Jesus” September 6, 2024“John 13:34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. John 13:35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (English Standard Version) One of my students did […]
- “A Confrontation in a Kroger Parking Lot” September 4, 2024My wife was waiting for a lady to pull out from a parking spot in a Kroger parking lot. She had waited for quite a while, but when the lady finally pulled out, another “lady” who had just come around the corner from the other direction whipped into the parking space. My wife is not […]
- “The Crushing Debt I Owe to God” September 3, 2024“A Sinful Woman Forgiven Luke 7:36 ¶ One of the Pharisees asked him to eat with him, and he went into the Pharisee’s house and reclined at table. Luke 7:37 And behold, a woman of the city, who was a sinner, when she learned that he was reclining at table in the Pharisee’s house, brought […]
- “Only Two Kinds of People?” September 1, 2024“Psa. 5:1 ¶ Give ear to my words, O LORD; consider my groaning. Psa. 5:2 Give attention to the sound of my cry, my King and my God, for to you do I pray. Psa. 5:3 O LORD, in the morning you hear my voice; in the morning […]
- “On Being a Good Ad” September 1, 2024I was buying candy corn for a friend at Ollie’s the other day when I eavesdropped on an interesting conversation. The lady behind me said to the cashier, “This is a really good store with good prices, but I didn’t even know it was here. You should advertise more!” The young cashier replied, “If we […]
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