Posts By Dteb

“Seventy-Two and No Fresh Regrets”

On April 10, 2023 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

DTEB, “Seventy-Two and No Fresh Regrets”

“The old, stale regrets I’m throwing out. By God’s grace, I won’t bake any fresh ones today.” (Down to Earth Believer: An Affirmation)

“Phil. 3:12 ¶ Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.

Phil. 3:13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,

Phil. 3:14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Phil. 3:15 Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you.”

Today is my seventy-second birthday. By the power vested in me by me, I am declaring it a no-regrets day.

Regrets are a terrible waste of time. Therefore, they are a terrible waste of life. In fact, regrets are a slow form of suicide.

Mostly what I regret is wasting time and life, wasting opportunities to love Sharon and our children much better than I did, treating my friends and everyone else more kindly, learning more, developing better character.

However, my regrets are holding me back from doing the very things that I regret not doing in the past. So, the regrets and very regrettable, and they have to go!

Today, by the grace of God, I am focusing on present opportunities to live and love fully, to develop a character that is more capable of love, to learn. This is the birthday gift that I am giving myself, God, and others today. I plan to celebrate my birthday for an entire year, if I get to live that long. If I do get to live another year, no regrets! If not, still no regrets!

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“Just Like He Said”

On April 9, 2023 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

“Mateo 28:5-6

El ángel dijo a las mujeres: “Ustedes no teman. Sé que buscan a Jesús, el crucificado. No está aquí; ha resucitado como había dicho.”

Matthew 28:5-6

“The angel said to the women, ‘Don’t be afraid. I know that you are seeking Jesus, the crucified one. He isn’t here; he has been raised—just like he said.”

According to the Gospels, Jesus had spoken to his disciples several times about his death and resurrection. Unfortunately, the comforting words about Jesus’ resurrection fell on deaf ears. The disciples didn’t understand, didn’t believe. That is, they didn’t believe until the resurrection forced them to do so. Even then, it wasn’t easy.

Why were the disciples so blind? Well, to be perfectly frank, the Gospels portray the disciples as (how can I put this delicately?) not the sharpest tools in the shed. There was a lot of what Jesus said that they simply didn’t understand. We tend to put the first disciples (except for poor Judas) on a pedestal. The Gospels themselves don’t do that. In fact, the disciples are pretty much portrayed as stumble-bums. I take great comfort in their portrayal. At least, they were trying to stumble in the general direction of Jesus. Maybe you and I are too.

But there is another thing: Perhaps they didn’t, and maybe couldn’t, hear the words about resurrection because they could not fathom Jesus’ words about the cross. Apparently, Jesus’ first disciples wanted a king who would set things to right—right now! And, of course, that might involve some violence. If there were to be any crucifixions, it would be the Roman occupiers and their “Jewish” (??) collaborators who would be the ones hung up to die. Certainly, the Messiah wouldn’t be the one to die! Right?

Wrong. If Jesus was the Messiah—and this is widely debated and denied by many—Jesus wasn’t your garden-variety king. The kind of king that we long for is one who will destroy our enemies. Instead, Jesus died for his enemies.

So, it may be that the disciples couldn’t hear the blessed word of resurrection because they couldn’t understand the hard word of the cross. In any case, they didn’t understand and believe. Even the courageous women who came to the tomb did not make that journey to see a risen Lord. They came to anoint the hastily buried body of their teacher and friend. Everybody seems to have been blindsided by the resurrection.

The angel who spoke to the women told them not to be afraid. The Greek verb for the command “Don’t be afraid” is in the present tense. This suggests ongoing, persistent action. The angel was telling the women, “Now and always, there is no need for fear.”

Then the angel gave them the reason for not being afraid. “He is risen.” It is a wonder that the shock of this didn’t simply kill the women outright. You go to take care of the dead body of a dear friend, and discover that there isn’t a body!

But then, the angel can’t resist saying that Jesus was risen, “just as he said”. It would seem that even angels cannot resist the urge to say, “Told you so!”

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“The Corrector in Chief”

On April 3, 2023 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

“Gal. 6:1 ¶ Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.

Gal. 6:2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Gal. 6:3 For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.

Gal. 6:4 But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor.”

One of the many problems with going to church is that God may get a word in edgewise. God’s edgewise word to me yesterday was not very consoling. I was made aware that I have a critical, fault-finding spirit that does not honor God or help others or myself.

This critical spirit (which I prefer to call “the Holy Spirit gift of admonishing others”) manifests itself in many ways. I give my wife unasked for “advice” (criticism) about her driving, even though she is an excellent driver. I give “advice” (criticism) to other drivers on the highway who can’t even hear me, using descriptive words that I don’t need to use. I “comment on” (criticize) politicians of both parties. I give my students lots of “comments” (criticism) when I grade their assignments, but not much encouragement. In short, I am the Corrector in Chief.

There is a time and place for correcting others. In fact, we have a responsibility to do so. But, as Paul says in Galatians 6:1, this must be done—this can only really be done effectively—in a spirit of gentleness. I am greatly afraid that most of my “correction” is way too ungentle to be worthy of the name “correction”.

One more thing: I also need to practice a lot more gentleness in correcting myself. Self-correction is an important part of healthy self-care. Self-flagellation is not. I need to resign from my self-appointed position as Corrector in Chief. Gentleness is a good quality we need to extend to ourselves as well as toward others.

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“This Blessed Moment”

On March 7, 2023 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

“2Cor. 6:1 ¶ Working together with him, then, we appeal to you not to receive the grace of God in vain.

2Cor. 6:2 For he says,

             “In a favorable time I listened to you,

                        and in a day of salvation I have helped you.” (English Standard Version)

¶ Behold, now is the favorable time; behold, now is the day of salvation.

There is a commercial that has a tagline that goes something like this: “When you’re ready to live in the now.” Of course, that is really the only time that anyone can live, isn’t it? However, I am forever tempted to rewrite the past and/or fantasize about the future. Meanwhile, the present stands patiently in front of me, smiling a rather sad smile of regret for my chosen form of stupidity.

I replied to my 12-step sponsee’s report today. He was talking about the importance of the present, and I can only say, “Amen to that, my brother!” I wrote to him as follows:

“Having returned from sunny Sarasota to Ohio, I am also learning that life and God and myself happen where we are, when we are, and as we are. This moment is blessed and is a blessing. I am blessed by receiving it with gratitude and using it well.”

Of course, even though this moment is blessed, it may not be pleasant. Blessings are not always pleasant. The equating of the two is itself unreal and leads to more unreality. Having had a few close brushes with death, I can admit with absolute candor that the moments when you’re pretty sure you’re going to die are blessed, but not pleasant. “Present” may rhyme with “pleasant”, but that doesn’t mean that they are identical twins.

So, how do I live in the Now? I suspect that we usually know the answer to that question before we even ask it. However, living in the Now often involves pain. Right now, as I write this post, my hands are hurting and I want to go back to bed, even though I’ve had a good night’s sleep. Nevertheless, . . .

I don’t know what your own Now looks like right now. It may be incredibly painful or remarkably joyful. Most likely, it is like March weather in the Midwest: Sometimes, it feels like May and the next day, you are back in February. But this much I do know. The only place you and I can live is here, right now, and as we are.

That is where God is, too.

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“Regarding this Small Universe, the History of a Man-Made Lake, and My Brother”

On February 27, 2023 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

“It’s a small world.” (Source unknown, but it is an old saying.)

My sweetheart and I went to a street party where we’re staying. We are on Kentucky Street here on the outskirts of Sarasota. Our place on Kentucky has a lovely view of a man-made lake called “Lake Ibis”. At our street party, one of the permanent residents named Larry gave a brief history of the lake.

There’s a lot I don’t know, but not much that doesn’t interest me, so I listened attentively. I had eaten too many snacks and figured that my ears could burn off most of the 2,000 or so calories I had just consumed in a matter of minutes.

Apparently, according to Larry, the dirt from where our lake is now was used in the construction of nearby I-75, which is less than a mile from Lake Ibis.. And that is when it hit me: My brother worked on a stretch of I-75 back in the 1950s. He moved dirt. In fact, one of my earliest childhood memories is visiting my brother, just up the road. It is entirely possible, I thought to myself, that my brother had something to do with moving the dirt from what is now “our lake” to I-75.

I suddenly felt closer to my brother than I had in a long time. He took his own life over ten years ago. I’ve struggled to forgive him for that. I struggle still.

. . .

Further research indicated that this section of I-75 wasn’t finished until long after the mid-1950s when we visited my brother. By the time Lake Ibis was being dug, my brother was helping to build rough highways through the Outback in Australia. (Yes, he did indeed live an adventuresome life!)

However, even though the facts didn’t line up with my original notion, the truth is that I still felt closer to my brother. I was able to grieve his loss and to move a little further along the long road of forgiveness. Sometimes, even false connections help us to connect. I also felt more lovingly connected to the lake itself.

I am not fond of the New Age Movement in some ways, but it gets at least one thing right: Everything in the world—and probably the universe—is connected. Honoring that connection is important. Dishonoring it is a slow death. Perhaps dishonoring that omni connection is itself a form of suicide.

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“On the Writing of One Paragraph”

On February 25, 2023 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

A friend of mine and I are writers. However, we don’t always write. This is very awkward, since a writer who doesn’t write isn’t a writer. It’s a bit like a person who says he/she is a tennis player, even though that person never plays tennis. (By the way, I just wrote a paragraph! I am a writer!)

Most healthy, life-giving activities involve some teeny tiny regular behavior that we do. For example, this morning I put on my running clothes and went for a walk/run. Am I healthier as a result of doing this? Probably, a little bit. If this becomes a regular discipline, it will be really healthy. I will become (as I used to be) a runner.

To change big things, I need to be willing to be doing little things consistently. Of course, I really don’t want to do little things; I want to do BIG HAIRY AUDACIOUS THINGS!

But here is the truth: Big things are comprised of a lot of little things. Wanting to do big things without paying attention to the little things is like teleportation—a nice fantasy, but not a realistic strategy.

Jesus said that even people who gave a thirsty person a cup of water in his name would not lose his/her reward. Giving a person a cup of water isn’t a huge things—unless, of course, that person is thirsty. Perhaps little paragraphs, little walks, and little cups of water is not so little after all.

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“Hermione Released”

On February 24, 2023 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

A great blue heron was released back into the wild on Monday. Hermione had somehow gotten a hook stuck at her neck. She couldn’t eat. The wound became infected with mites. She was a few hours away from dying.

But someone here at the RV resort where we are staying called the wild bird rescue people. Surgery, antibiotics, and a lot of Loving Care led to her return to Lake Ibis. My wife and I were there when they let her out of her cage and she flew across the lake and landed in her favorite tree.

Those who were watching cried, cheered, and laughed. It was a wonderful moment when my faith in the kindness and caring hearts of human beings was restored. I think I was let out of a cage of cynicism that has developed over the past several years of political and social turmoil.

But above all, I thought of my fellow addicts who are in recovery. We have been let out of our self-imposed cages, free to fly again. Was there some effort on our part? Yes, of course. But then there were our fellow addicts who helped get the hooks out of our necks, who helped us to heal, who fed us with her own experience, strength, and hope when we had none of our own.

And then, of course, there was our higher power. Some of us know that that higher power is called God. And some of us not only believe in God, but also in God’s son Jesus Christ. And we believe that he has set us free.

The word for salvation in Hebrew in the Old Testament is a word which means “to give space or to give room to someone or something”. A lot of people, I am afraid, think that Christianity is a matter of constricting people, of restricting people. Frankly, we Christians often give unbelievers that impression. However, the basic word for salvation is a word which speaks of ultimate freedom and not constriction or restriction. We may need to be in cages for our own protection for a little while during the healing process. But that is very temporary.

Faith in God frees us to fly again, to live again.

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“Freedom to Be Myself”

On February 15, 2023 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

My 12-step sponsee was writing about how recovery from addiction feels so free and good. I responded with the aphorism, “To be free of self is to be a self that is free.” I am not sure if this is original. I kind of doubt it. More importantly, I believe it is true.

Since I was probably about 14 or 15 years old, I have realized that there were several different “selves” living in me, some of which I liked and was proud of and some of which I didn’t and wasn’t. Over the years, the selves I didn’t like became more and more prominent. I suspect that this is not a totally unfamiliar dynamic to some of you. As someone has said, “We don’t become better with age, just more so.”

Speaking to some Jewish folks who had (at least tentatively) believed in him, Jesus said, “If the son sets you free, you are free indeed.” (John 8:36, my translation) Jesus had just spoken to these sort-of believers about freedom. Immediately, there was a problem. They thought that they were already free. After all, they were the offspring of Abraham. How could they be anything other than free.

But Jesus wasn’t buying it. He pointed out to these “free” people that anyone who sins is the slave of sin. This is certainly true of the patterns we call addiction, but it is true with any and every kind of evil thoughts and behaviors. Yes, we are free to sin. No, we are not free once we do. And with every wrong-doing, the next wrong-doing becomes soooo much easier. Perhaps our friends and loved ones—and even strangers—can see our chains and hear them rattling, but we cannot. Ignorance doesn’t make the chains unreal. Ignorance just makes us unreal.

But there is a way out. Jesus claimed to be that way. We forge our own chains, put them on, and then trudge through life, less and less alive. We forged the chains and put them on, but we can’t take them off. Addicts who are in recovery know this. In some ways, we are the lucky ones. “Normal people”, if such people even exist, may fool themselves into thinking they are free. Recovering addicts know better. We know that, without a Higher Power, we continue to be slaves. Not every recovering addict knows that this Higher Power is manifested in Jesus, but there are many who do believe this. I am one of them. And when I am living the Jesus-way, I do indeed find that I am free from self and free to be my self.

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“Reveling in the Love”

On February 14, 2023 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

My 12-step affirmation for today is as follows:

“Today, with God’s help, I am reveling in the love of God and others and helping others to revel in my love for them. Let the reveling begin and never end!”

Happy Valentine’s Day! Are you reveling in the love today, or are you saying, “Wake me up when this is over”? Or worse, perhaps you don’t believe in love at all. A guy that I liked a lot back in my undergrad days was skeptical about everything: god, people, meaning. That was why I liked him.

“You don’t believe in love,” I said to him one day. To my surprise, he shot back with, “Of course I do!” When he had savored my shocked expression for a few seconds, he continued, “We couldn’t have tennis without it!” I’m not much of a tennis player, but even I know that love means nothing in tennis. To some of us, love means nothing. Yes, period, full stop, and a Forrest Gump, “That’s all I’ve got to say about that.” Some of us would have difficulty in reveling in something that we don’t even believe exists.

And we need to face it: There seems to be plenty of evidence for hate in our world today. Where on earth is the evidence of love?

Well, that’s a good question. For once, I have a good answer. Love in sleeping a few feet away from me. In a little, she will get up and fix breakfast. She will have already run a brush through her lovely grey hair. She doesn’t really need to do that; I like it when it goes every-which-a-way. But she wants to be presentable as she fries our eggs. She loves me for no particular reason. That’s good because there isn’t a reason.

Last night, my wife and I won a trivia contest. We were playing “The Happy Couples” quiz game at the RV resort where we are staying. One of the questions that I got right was, “What will your wife say is her best personality trait.” I was initially stumped. There are so many. I started to type “Helpfulness” into the phone, but then I thought, no, and typed in “Forgiveness”. She knew that’s what I would say. She knew right.

But my wife’s forgiving love is based on something: her awareness that God has loved her and forgiven her. I revel in her love because she revels in the love of God.

There is the story that is the New Testament about a cat named “Jesus of Nazareth”. He lived, taught, and died for the love of God and the love of us. He also loved us so much that he was raised from the dead. Apparently, it is true what they say: Real love never dies. Or, rather, real love does die, but not forever. It will rise from the dead, more surely than the sun is rising as I write this post. Real Love will also give us life and the ability to forgive.

Again, I say, happy Valentine’s Day!

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“Pride in its Proper Place”

On February 13, 2023 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

I did a 12-step reading the other day that made me think a bit differently about the “vice” (??) of pride.

Pride works from within; it is the direct appreciation of oneself.
  Arthur Schopenhauer

Pride, like all emotions, has two faces: one healthy and one sick. It is our challenge to use the healthy side well. Sick pride fills us with ourselves, looks down on others, and has no room for generosity. Healthy pride is heavy with humility. If we can feel joyful when we succeed, and tell others about it honestly, we are not being boastful.

Sick pride often keeps us from doing things because we are too proud to ask for help when we need it, or too proud to risk failure, or too proud to do anything that might not turn out perfect.

Healthy pride about our greatest victories always comes with the awareness that we did not do it all by ourselves. We had the aid, advice, and encouragement of loved ones. In all things that really count, we never walk alone. Even those who claim pride is not a virtue admit that it is the parent of many virtues.

What makes me proud of myself today?

From Today’s Gift: Daily Meditations for Families ©1985, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.

Of course, even healthy pride is prone to getting sick. It can pick up the common cold with uncommon ease. And, with Pride, the common cold can develop into cancer in a matter of seconds.

Christian thinkers, from Augustine of Hippo to C.S. Lewis, have pointed out that evil is not the opposite of good. Rather, evil is the twisting of something that is good. The Bible has verses that suggest the same.

For example, the Apostle Paul (whom I suspect was a person who struggled with pride) said that there was a good kind of boasting—boasting in the LORD (1 Corinthians 1:31) Boasting is usually a sign of sick pride. Healthy pride is focused outward and upward toward God.

This same Paul pointed out that, if we play our cards right, the very God in whom we boast will commend us. “Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God.” (1 Corinthians 4:5, English Standard Version) In other words, God wants to be proud of us!

So, when we actually do something right, it is okay to acknowledge that. However, if we go on and on about it, rest assured that we have crossed over into a pride that does not serve anyone well, least of all, ourselves.

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