Posts By Dteb
DTEB, “The Uncomfortable Bothness of Anger”
One of my twelve-step friends said very helpful thing to me the other day. “I know that anger is a huge red flag for me. I also know it’s super normal to get frustrated and angry sometimes. All these new spaces are so full of bothness, and it makes them uncomfortable to be in, but in truth, this too is the easier, softer way. This is the path to growth and joy and freedom.”
I love the word “bothness” even though my spell-checker flags it as not being a word. There are a lot of bothnesses in the world. Anger is a red flag, and anger is also super-normal. In fact, I believe that God gave us the gift of anger. Often, good change and growth are fueled by anger. This is true for both individuals and society. Almost every positive change is provoked by being provoked to anger.
But, as is always the case, good things can go horribly bad. The desire to alleviate pain is a good desire. Such desire can lead to positive changes in our diet and exercise. It is also one of the key components of the opioid addiction crisis.
In Ephesians 4:26, Paul says that we are to be angry and yet not sin. Some translations tone down the radical nature of what Paul is saying. “For example, The New Language Bible: The New Berkley Version translates the verse, “When you are angry, commit no sin . . . .”
However, in the original Greek, the word is in the imperative. The King James Version has it right: “Be ye angry, and sin not . . . .” Anger is not just commended; it is commanded!
But Paul, who was more into bothness than many of us are, follows up with the words “. . . and do not sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath.” Anger is so good that it is commanded, but it is so strong that it has a statute of limitations, which is very short indeed.
Instead of either expressing or suppressing our anger, perhaps we need to slow our roll and ask ourselves (and God) some questions.
- Why am I really angry?
- Can I do something positive with this anger?
- If I can do something positive, what is it?
Neither blowing up nor bottling up is the best response to our anger. Recognizing the bothness of anger is exceedingly important. Anger is certainly uncomfortable, but as my friend pointed out, it is indeed “. . . the path to growth and joy and freedom.”
“Love: The Only True Adventure”
“Love God and love people like you love yourself.” (Jesus, my paraphrase)
“We are plain quiet folk and have no use for adventures. Nasty disturbing uncomfortable things! Make you late for dinner! I can’t think what anybody sees in them.” (J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit, or There and Back Again)
One of my 12-step readings for today is as follows:
“Sunday, August 7
We love because it’s the only true adventure.
—Nikki Giovanni
In loving, we meet ourselves. As we have become more honest, we no longer make excuses about our relationship problems. We can’t blame our troubles on our partner. Our problems with love were often because we didn’t know how to be close or we didn’t dare to be.
When we let ourselves engage in this adventure, we meet many obstacles – things we can’t control, and sometimes we want to quit right there. We have arguments and disappointments as well as good feelings. But what adventure is without difficulty or surprises? Part of the reason for choosing new experiences is to confront forces outside our control. A relationship is a dialogue. Only if we stay with it through the frustrations, express our deepest feelings openly, and listen to our partner, do we achieve a new level of understanding and confidence in the relationship. Then deeper levels also open within ourselves.”
Today, I will let honesty guide me in this adventure of my love dialogue.” (From Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men ©1986, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.)
In the above reading, I was especially struck by the sentence “But what adventure is without difficulty or surprises?” The fact that I was struck by the sentence should not be construed to mean that I liked the sentence or the truth that it expresses. The truth is that I like easy and predictable. On the other hand, is easy-and-predictable really The Truth?
My wife likes Hallmark love stories. (I do too, but don’t tell my wife. Hopefully she won’t read this post.) Have you noticed that they generally end with the wedding? That is an excellent idea. Why? Because the difficulties and surprises begin after the wedding. It is difficult—verging on the impossible—to wrap a marriage up in a neat package and put a pretty bow on it. Having a beautiful wedding and a beautiful marriage are two very different things.
And, of course, most of every adventure consists of boring, demanding slogs through dismal country. Almost no one tells you that. However, that also is part of the adventure.
My affirmation for today is as follows: “Today, by God’s grace, I am daring to love myself, God, other people, and all creation.” It takes some daring. Even Hallmark shows have some difficulty and surprises as part of their script.
I hope that you have an adventuresome and loving day!
“How to Avoid Being a Tyrannical Hero”
“The hero of yesterday becomes the tyrant of tomorrow, unless he crucifies himself today.”
― Joseph Campbell, The Hero With a Thousand Faces (https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/971054-the-hero-with-a-thousand-faces, accessed 08-04-2022)
“I die daily.” (The Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 15:31, my translation)
Probably, we all would like to be the hero sometimes. Most of us who are over the age of thirty would be quick to moderate this heroic desire by saying, “Well, maybe in some small way, I would like to be a hero.”
Perhaps we should thank God that we aren’t heroes. Why? There is a simple answer: Today’s hero easily becomes tomorrow’s tyrant.
But no matter whether we are ever heroes or not, here is the thing: Today is the only day we’ve got. Since I am feeling very tired, old, and useless today, I am especially aware of this. Sometimes, just living the day and doing ordinary things is heroic enough. And avoiding being a tyrant today is also being a hero.
“On the Leash, Off the Leash, and Free in Both Cases!”
I learn a lot about God and myself from my dog. I’m not saying that my dog is well-trained, but I am saying that she is training me well.
Sometimes, I have to keep her on short leash. She doesn’t weigh very much, but she is really fast and more than a little willful—especially around cats, squirrels, and birds. If I give her too much freedom, even on the leash, her quick and sudden sprints could pull my arm clean out of joint. More importantly, she could break her own neck or run out in front of a car.
Sometimes, perhaps usually, I also need to be on a leash. Today, my 12-step affirmation was as follows:
“God is with me today, whether I like it or not. I am asking God today to keep me on a short leash whenever that is needed, and to allow me to run free whenever God knows that I can do that safely. I will return consciously to God, the source of my protection and freedom, often during the day.”
Well, I’m writing this post late in the day, and I really have no idea how I’ve done. I can think of several times that I needed a leash. I didn’t break my neck—nor anyone else’s, thank God! I didn’t run out in front of any cars, either. But I could think of several times when I wanted more freedom. But I wasn’t ready for freedom. I needed to be kept on a leash.
An ancient Israelite was warned by God, “Don’t be like a horse or a mule that have to be controlled by a bit and a bridle.” (Psalm 32:9, my translation.) Perhaps “Don’t be like a dog that needs to be controlled by a leash” would work too. In any case, I need to enroll myself in obedience school. Dogs aren’t the only ones who need some training. Other species could benefit from something like that as well.
“Thoughts on Our Forty-Ninth Wedding Anniversary”
I love my wife more than ever. I think that she has improved over time, but she was awful good, even when I married her. I think that the main reason I love her more is that I have improved. I suspect that nobody loves anybody because the one who is loved is better. No. If anybody loves anybody better, it is because the lover has grown.
I can think of 10,000 reasons why I married my sweetheart. I can only think of two reasons why she married me. The first is that she needed a fixer-upper to satisfy her creative instincts. She saw potential where it took a lot of guts to see. The second thing that I bring to the party is that I really and truly value her. I haven’t always shown that, but I think that she correctly intuited that I appreciated her. And I appreciate her more with each passing day.
To be young and in love is a wonderful thing. The poets and singers are right to praise such love. But to be old and more in love than ever is an even more wonderful thing.
Of course, as you grow older, your ways of expressing your love change a bit. Sharon demonstrated her love for me today by going to my Thursday morning senior softball game. I just learned today that my coach for the Thursday team and his wife (our score-keeper) were married on August 4 as well. They are celebrating sixty years of marriage. It makes me feel like a newlywed!
If I were asked the secret to a long and happy marriage, I would answer with a two-part response that sounds a little like a Buddhist koan: Marriage is an amazing free and gracious gift that requires incessant work. Today, I am most aware of the Gift. Tomorrow, I will get back to work.
“Redefining Losing”
“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33, New Living Translation)
These words, according to the Gospel of John, were spoken by Jesus’ disciples a few hours before the arrest, “trial” (if you can call it that), torture, and crucifixion of Jesus. In fact, the “all this” that Jesus had told his disciples included these horrible things. So, how on earth can Jesus speak of overcoming the world. It sounds more like Jesus is a loser to me.
Perhaps we need to redefine what it means to lose in the light of Jesus’ life, teachings, and death. Years ago, when everybody was talking about “yuppies” (young urban professionals), I saw one of them wearing a t-shirt that read: “The Winner is the one who dies with the most toys.” This struck me at the time as being inadequate to the point of laughter or tears or both. It still strikes me that way.
In the shadow of the cross, Jesus claimed to be able to give peace to his disciples. Jesus claimed that he had achieved a decisive victory—not over the Romans or the Jews, but over the whole world. In fact, the Greek word that is translated “I have overcome the world” is in the perfect tense. This conveys decisive action completed in the past, with ongoing results.
I freely admit that the world doesn’t look very conquered by Jesus, but appearances can be deceiving. Perhaps appearances are always deceiving. According to the earliest followers of Jesus, he was raised from the dead. That, among other things, should give us pause for thought about how to define losing.
DTEB, “The Most Important Day of Your Life: a Day Called ‘Today’”
“Psa. 95:1 ¶ Oh come, let us sing to the LORD;
let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation!
Psa. 95:2 Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving;
let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise!
Psa. 95:3 For the LORD is a great God,
and a great King above all gods.
Psa. 95:4 In his hand are the depths of the earth;
the heights of the mountains are his also.
Psa. 95:5 The sea is his, for he made it,
and his hands formed the dry land.
Psa. 95:6 ¶ Oh come, let us worship and bow down;
let us kneel before the LORD, our Maker!
Psa. 95:7 For he is our God,
and we are the people of his pasture,
and the sheep of his hand.
Today, if you hear his voice,
Psa. 95:8 do not harden your hearts, as at Meribah,
as on the day at Massah in the wilderness,
Psa. 95:9 when your fathers put me to the test
and put me to the proof, though they had seen my work.
Psa. 95:10 For forty years I loathed that generation
and said, “They are a people who go astray in their heart,
and they have not known my ways.”
Psa. 95:11 Therefore I swore in my wrath,
“They shall not enter my rest.”(Psalm 95, English Standard Version)
“Like Jesus, Today is often crucified between two thieves: Yesterday and Tomorrow.” (Source unknown)
The Bible talks a lot about today. Psalm 95 is a command to sing to the LORD. Ample reasons are given to do so. However, in verse 7, there is this crucial word “today”. “Today, if you hear his voice . . . .” Then the psalmist turns to history, an incident that happened on the way from Egypt to the promised land. After seeing many miracles in Egypt and along the way, the Israelites still didn’t really trust God. The problem wasn’t God. The problem was the human heart. Specifically, the Israelites “hardened their hearts” and grieved God.
The upshot of all this was that they put God to the test. They wanted to see even more miracles. They went astray, not geographically, but in their hearts. God got royally ticked off and swore an oath. “No rest for you!” he said.
How can a psalm that begins so positively end so negatively? Well, I guess that’s what happens when we willfully harden our hearts and go astray. Ancient Israel had no monopoly on such hardness and heart-straying. It can happen to any of us. Keeping a tender and grateful heart toward God is not easy, but if we want to enter into the rest that God gives, it is absolutely essential. It is a daily task. Why? Because our hearts can get hard and go astray in a day—or even a small part of the day. The most important day of our lives is always Today.
DTEB, “God the Recycler—and the Scavenger”
“Once you were dead, doomed forever because of your many sins. . . . But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so very much, that even while we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s special favor that you have been saved!) For he raised us from the dead along with Christ, and we are seated with him in the heavenly realms—all because we are one with Christ Jesus.” (Ephesians 2:1, 4-6)
My pastor made an intriguing comment in yesterday’s sermon about God being a Recycler. That is a wonderful metaphor for God. However, in my usual ADD manner, I let the metaphor run away with me. It occurred to me that God is not just a Recycler. God is also a Master Scavenger. I like to think of God in this way because I myself am a scavenger.
I grew up fairly poor, though I didn’t realize it until recently. I was taught to make do, to make repairs, and to do without. It was a good way to grow up, and I am profoundly grateful for it.
But even as an adult, my conservative—sometimes overly conservative—nature manifests itself on a regular basis. Usually, this happens on Wednesday mornings. There is a reason for this being my weekly scavenging day. Wednesdays are trash day in the really nice development across the road from us. I walk and pray and scavenge. What the folks across the road call “trash”, I call “Oh boy!” We’ve gotten a nice table, some golf clubs (we gave them away), and a couple of grills. Also, a nice bench and various and sundry other items.
Probably most of us humans sometimes feel as if we have been kicked to the curb. Or perhaps, we were carried there. It doesn’t even have to be Wednesday for us to feel as if we’ve been left for the garbage truck to pick up. We feel useless and unwanted and like has-beens that are ready for the trash bins. Sometimes some other human being comes along who values us, someone who likes the saying, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.”
I think that God likes that saying, too. God is the Master Recycler. God is also the Supreme Scavenger.
“A God Who Does More than We Can Ask or Think”
“20 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. 21 Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.” (Ephesians 3:20-21, New Living Translation)
I know that there is a lot that I can’t do. I think that I frequently make God in my own image. However, a “god” made in my image is a very small god indeed. On the other hand, the Apostle Paul had a God who was extremely powerful, wise, and loving.
The quote from Ephesians that leads off this post are the verses of the day in the YouVersion app. As the author of the story that comments on these verses notes, when read in its context, these verses are not primarily about God’s power in the lives of individuals. Instead, the context invites us to realize God’s power to overcome really serious divisions in our society. In Paul’s day, this was the division between Jews and Gentiles (Ephesians 3:1-19).
The author of the comments on these verses in the YouVersion notes that this would be like Yankees fans and Red Sox fans loving one another, or like Democrats and Republicans actually valuing one another.
Now that’s power! It is a power that only God has. Yet God also gives such power to us. It is, according to Paul, God’s “. . . mighty power at work within us . . .”! If we are to love people who are “not like us” (and who is like us, when it comes down to it?), we will need this power. If we try to work up a power like that, the divisions will go on their not-so-merry way, dividing us from everyone else, God, and our own better selves.
Only God can bring oneness into our divided hearts and world.
“Hallowing God’s Name is God’s Business. Our Business is to Pray”
Is our business as Christians to make God’s name holy?
No and yes. And the “No” needs to come first.
Here is a long quote from Karl Barth that sets out what we must be doing. Barth is discussing the words addressed to God “hallowed by your name” in the Lord’s Prayer.
“It is clear that we pray in the midst of our present in which God’s name is not hallowed but is desecrated in the world and even in the church and our own lives as Christians by the division which dominates all things. But now we are not abandoned to the scandal and evil of this division nor thrown back on our own resources. We are not directed either to sink into a hopeless silence or assault the clouded and covered heavens with hysterical cries of protest and distress and appeals for help. Jesus Christ lived once, but not only once. As the one who lived once, he also lives today, even in this confused present of ours. As he forbids us to come to terms with our confusion, he does not leave us stuck in our impasse in relation to it, but shows us the way out by ordering us to turn to God with the request that he himself will take in hand the sanctifying of his name.” (Karl Barth, The Christian Life, translated by Geoffrey W. Bromiley (New York: Bloomsbury, 2017), p. 237. Italics mine.)
I don’t always (ever?) entirely understand Barth, but I think what he is saying is this: Only God can make God’s name holy. The world won’t and the church can’t. In fact, the church can and does frequently bring shame on the name of God. We do so by our inconsistent behavior—as well as by venting our spleen and calling it speaking the truth.
So, if God’s name is to be holy, it must be God who does it. However, we are given the task of praying that God will do precisely that. And as we take the posture of humility and pray, perhaps we will also find that we do a better job of living holier, more consistent lives—even in this confused present.
DOWN TO EARTH BELIEVER
- “Witnessing Versus Being Witnesses” September 19, 2024“Acts 1:1 In the first book, O Theophilus, I have dealt with all that Jesus began to do and teach, Acts 1:2 until the day when he was taken up, after he had given commands through the Holy Spirit to the apostles whom he had chosen. Acts 1:3 He presented himself alive to them after […]
- “A Bathroom Prayer for Hurting Hands” September 11, 2024A week ago Sunday, my hands were hurting so badly at church that I went to the bathroom to run hot water over my hands. Arthritis perhaps, or carpal tunnel, or general orneriness—I don’t know why my hands hurt, but they do. They have for years. So, while I was running hot water over my […]
- “Waiting and Seeking” September 10, 2024“Lam. 3:19 ¶ Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall! Lam. 3:20 My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. Lam. 3:21 But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: Lam. 3:22 ¶ The steadfast love of the LORD […]
- “A Pastor or a Teacher?” September 8, 2024I went to the Asbury University President’s Brunch yesterday morning with Sharon. It was billed as a non-fundraiser. I have learned to be skeptical of such claims. However, it really wasn’t a fundraiser! It was a wonderful time. The university paid for everything, including valet parking. It was good to meet new people, all of […]
- “Even When We Mess Up” September 8, 2024One of my students in the Luke-Acts course I’m teaching right now online made a very perceptive comment in a post to another student’s work. She and the other student, Mackenzie, agreed on an excellent point: God can even use our mess-ups for his purposes and glory. Here is Victoria’s comment: “Mackenzie, your perspective on […]
- “On Playing Chimes and Being Jesus” September 6, 2024“John 13:34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. John 13:35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (English Standard Version) One of my students did […]
- “A Confrontation in a Kroger Parking Lot” September 4, 2024My wife was waiting for a lady to pull out from a parking spot in a Kroger parking lot. She had waited for quite a while, but when the lady finally pulled out, another “lady” who had just come around the corner from the other direction whipped into the parking space. My wife is not […]
- “The Crushing Debt I Owe to God” September 3, 2024“A Sinful Woman Forgiven Luke 7:36 ¶ One of the Pharisees asked him to eat with him, and he went into the Pharisee’s house and reclined at table. Luke 7:37 And behold, a woman of the city, who was a sinner, when she learned that he was reclining at table in the Pharisee’s house, brought […]
- “Only Two Kinds of People?” September 1, 2024“Psa. 5:1 ¶ Give ear to my words, O LORD; consider my groaning. Psa. 5:2 Give attention to the sound of my cry, my King and my God, for to you do I pray. Psa. 5:3 O LORD, in the morning you hear my voice; in the morning […]
- “On Being a Good Ad” September 1, 2024I was buying candy corn for a friend at Ollie’s the other day when I eavesdropped on an interesting conversation. The lady behind me said to the cashier, “This is a really good store with good prices, but I didn’t even know it was here. You should advertise more!” The young cashier replied, “If we […]
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