Posts By Dteb

“The Sin of Assuming”

“Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God.” (1 Corinthians 4:5, English Standard Version)

“Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.” (Romans 14:4, English Standard Version)

I am continuing to explore my own nature. Some of my discoveries are pleasant. Sometimes, I come to a pleasant vista and am blown away by the view.

At other times, I uncover a nest of poisonous snakes. Take yesterday, for example.

A few days ago, I decided that I did not know the Holy Spirit very well at all. God the Father? Yes, a little. Jesus the Son? Somewhat. But the Holy Spirit? Not so much. Yesterday, I realized that this was a serious mistake.

My wife and I were in the car, talking about people who have different ideas about covid vaccines and freedom than we do. I realized that I was assuming that those who don’t agree with my position are simply wrong. I mentioned this to my wife and said, “Well, here’s something else that the Holy Spirit is showing me that I need to work on—making assumptions about other people. I’m going to work on that, but it’s not going to be easy.”

Then we pulled up to a red light. We were in the left turn lane. When the green arrow lit up for our lane, the traffic didn’t move for a long time. (Okay. So maybe it was just three seconds.)

“The driver of the car in front of the line was probably playing with his phone,” I growled.

My wife immediately called me out for making an assumption. “This really isn’t going to be easy,” I replied.

So, a few minutes later, I was standing in line at my favorite restaurant in Sarasota, Yoder’s. I told Sharon to wait in the car while I stood in line. She had been on her feet a lot and was tired. I would call her when I got close to the door. (What a thoughtful husband, right?)

Not long after I got in the long line, a couple of ladies joined me. I turned around and was talking with them when a very tall gentleman quietly stepped in line in front of me. I gave his back a startled and disapproving look and thought about saying something to him. Fortunately, the woman in front of him gave him a little smile, which looked like the sort of smile that a wife would give to her husband who was parking the car while she stood in line. And that is the way it turned out.

“This is not going to be easy at all!” I said to myself. “In fact, it’s going to be really difficult!”

What’s wrong with making assumptions? A lot.

For starters, making assumptions is often (always?) a euphemism for what the Bible calls “judging”. Jesus, the Apostle Paul, James the brother of Jesus, and the book of Proverbs all warn us against making judgments about others. Paul even says that he doesn’t judge himself! (See 1 Corinthians 4:3-4 for further details.)

Another problem with assumptions is that they are shortcuts that avoid the necessary, difficult work of really observing, listening, and thinking through complex issues. And let’s face it: Humans are complex critters. But whether you’re talking about humans or microbes, is there any real shortcut for sustained observation and thoughtful engagement? If there is, I haven’t discovered it yet. Of course, I keep trying.

Then too, making assumptions is a sign of pride. Assuming that we know what motivates others to think and speak and act as they do means that we know them even better than they know themselves. Now, of course, I don’t always understand why I myself think and speak and act as I do, but when it comes to other people . . .

So, I am thinking about starting a new twelve-step program: Assumers Anonymous. We can’t use the letters A.A., because they are already taken. But I assume that we’ll sort out what to call ourselves.

I also assume that there a lot of people who would benefit from such a group.

Oops! There I go again!

“Generous-Hearted People”

PHILIPPIANS 2:4

bible verses for helping others

“Instead of each person watching out for their own good, watch out for what is better for others.” (Philippians 2:4, Common English Bible)

My wife went out to a massive yard sale here in the RV resort in Sarasota. She was trying to pick up some bargains. However, there is a wrinkle: We are only going to be here a few more days, and we don’t have any room to take things back with us.

On the other hand, this is not a problem. My sweetheart isn’t buying the things for us. She is buying them to improve the unit we’re renting for the next person or persons who stay here.

That’s my wife! Frugal (hence, the yard sale), and generous. I am not always either of those two things (frugal and generous), but I’m much better than I used to be. This is thanks to the generosity and frugality modeled by many others—particularly my wife.

I was trying to think of some Bible verses that spoke of such generosity, but I was having a difficult time. So, I used a very twenty-first century approach: I googled it. And I found more verses than I can shake a big stick at. Certainly, I found plenty of them with which to do some experiments in obedience. (You may read them, along with some brief comments at the following site: https://www.womansday.com/life/inspirational-stories/g30539201/bible-verses-helping-others/, accessed 02-19-2022).

Take the one that leads off this post, Philippians 2:4. Paul reminds the Christ-followers in Philippi that one aspect of following Christ is generosity. I suspect that the Philippians needed to be reminded of this because they were becoming a bit selfish. Christians don’t have the selfishness market cornered, but we’re not immune to selfishness either.

This post, in fact, is a small step by me to be more generous. I haven’t been posting much of late. Sorry about that. I realize that some of you might not only enjoy these posts; you might even benefit from them.

So, here you are! You can thank my wife for her yard-saling-for-others approach to generosity. Generosity begets generosity.

How will you choose to be generous to someone before this day is done?

“When Forgiveness Smiles at You”

I was feeling the weight of my past this morning for whatever reason—or for no reason at all. So, I called some friends who helped me greatly. However, what helped most was that Forgiveness smiled at me.

I was talking to a 12-step friend on the phone. The phone was on speaker, and my sweetheart was helping me fix breakfast. “Sometimes I can’t believe that anyone can forgive me for all the harm I’ve done in the past,” I said to my friend on the phone. My wife bent over my phone to get my attention and gave me a smile that would have lit up a major city. She wiggled her fingers by way of greeting and reminder. There I was, feeling remorseful about my past wrongdoing, when I was in the presence of Forgiveness.

My wife knows everything about me and my past these days. Much to my amazement, she is still with me. She still loves me. And she has forgiven me.

It is hard to maintain a gloomy spirit when Forgiveness smiles on you and wiggles her fingers at you.

“Want to Please God? Ask for Wisdom!”

According to 1 Kings 3:10 (in context), Solomon asked God for wisdom to rule the people of Israel well. This Bible verse indicates that God was pleased with Solomon’s request.

Yes, it is true that, late in his life, Solomon made some very foolish choices that most definitely did not please God. You can read about those choices and their consequences in 1 Kings 11. The Bible does not sugarcoat the truth about the human tendency to mess up. This is true even of “the good guys.” In fact, the brutal portrayal of even the good guys makes you wonder if there are any truly good guys. This honesty is one of the reasons I hold the Bible in high regard.

But back to pleasing God by asking for wisdom!

In the New Testament, James also speaks of asking for wisdom. Whether or not he had King Solomon’s request in mind is doubtful. However, James has some wise words about wisdom.

James 1:5   If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.” (James 1:5-7, English Standard Version)

Verse 5 is a promise for any and all of us. When it comes right down to it, we all need wisdom, don’t we? Sure, some of us are smart and some of us are clever. Probably not as smart or clever as we think, of course. However, that is another story and shall be told at another time.

But then there’s wisdom, and that strikes me as a different matter altogether. Some of the wisest people I’ve ever known weren’t all that smart. Some smart (or even brilliant) people I’ve ever known have been really unwise—a.k.a. foolish.

So, according to James, wisdom is ours for the asking. But you have to ask the right Person, at the right time, and with the right attitude.

1. The right Person: God. Would it surprise you to find out that the creator, sustainer, and lover of the universe is a wonderful source of wisdom? Perhaps we should be more surprised if it were not so. And yet, frankly, I often search for wisdom everywhere else. Now don’t get me wrong. God frequently pours his wisdom into and through nature and people. It is very foolish to ignore the wise counsel of others or of the universe. However, it is usually best to go directly to the ultimate source of wisdom. And that is God.

2. The right time: Continually. This doesn’t necessarily come out in the English translations, but the asking for wisdom and the fact that we have a wisdom-giving God is expressed in the present tense in the original Greek text. The present tense in Greek usually has the nuance of continual or repetitive action. We need to be continually asking God for the wisdom that God is continually giving. So, we’re talking here not about a one-time-fits-all gift. Rather, we are talking about wisdom for the living of this day, this moment. So, today, why not ask God for wisdom at least ten times? Excuse me for a moment while I practice what I write.

. . .

There, that’s two times for me!

3.  The right attitude: With Faith. Do I really believe that God wants me to ask for, to have, and to make use of wisdom? And why wouldn’t I believe that. If there is a God at all, God probably does what he pleases. And if it gives God pleasure to give any and all wisdom (not just Solomon), who am I to deny the God of the universe a little pleasure?

“My Jesus-Life as a Therapist and Friend”

To start my day, I often read snippets from addiction recovery books published by Hazelden. Today’s excerpt from Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey (© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation), began with a provocative epigraph by Karen Horney:

“Fortunately [psycho]analysis is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist.”

I was thinking of life as a therapist, but my mind quickly jumped to life as a friend. The reason I made this leap was because of something I read many years ago. I can’t remember the source, but here is the quote as I remember it: “A therapist is a paid friend.”

Now, don’t misunderstand. This statement is deeply problematic. Paying someone to be your friend doesn’t sound terribly noble or helpful. In fact, it sounds more than a little demeaning to both therapists and clients. I have benefited greatly from years of therapy, though I am not currently seeing a therapist. However, while I have two good friends who are therapists, I do not conflate the roles of therapist and friend.

However, thinking of life as combining the roles of therapist and friend—and life performing those dual roles free of charge—that might work. So, I ask myself (and you) the following: What would happen if I/we stopped thinking of life as a puzzle or a struggle, and I/we began to think of life as a therapist and friend.

Hummm . . .

There’s an old rock and roll song that advises us to “hang on to our (your) life.” Perhaps it would be better to let go of our lives and listen to them. Maybe, as with other good friends, we could relax with life and be ourselves. We might begin cherishing our life more—just as it is. After all, we do this with our other fellow-human friends. We cherish them when they’re up and when they’re down. We love them with all their faults, and they love us with all our faults.

I suspect that what I’ve written so far is true, no matter what your religious beliefs (or unbeliefs) are. However, for the Christ-follower this has another dimension. Jesus claimed to be life, as well as being the truth and the road we need to travel (John 14:6). The one who follows Christ follows Life itself. And this Life is indeed a very helpful therapist.

Oh, and one thing more! Jesus not only claimed to be the Life. He also promised to be with his followers all their lives. Furthermore, he promised that they would be with him forever in his Father’s kingdom. If this is true—and rest assured, it does take some faith to believe that it is true—the one who seamlessly combines the roles of friend and therapist will never desert us. Not in this life, nor in the next. Jesus has your back as you go through your life-therapy and make friends with life.

“The Danger of Following my Heart”

Psa. 81:0         To the choirmaster: according to The Gittith. Of Asaph.

Psa. 81:1         Sing aloud to God our strength;

                        shout for joy to the God of Jacob!

2           Raise a song; sound the tambourine,

                        the sweet lyre with the harp.

3           Blow the trumpet at the new moon,

                        at the full moon, on our feast day.

Psa. 81:4         For it is a statute for Israel,

                        a rule of the God of Jacob.

5           He made it a decree in Joseph

                        when he went out over the land of Egypt.

             I hear a language I had not known:

6           “I relieved your shoulder of the burden;

                        your hands were freed from the basket.

7           In distress you called, and I delivered you;

                        I answered you in the secret place of thunder;

                        I tested you at the waters of Meribah. Selah

8           Hear, O my people, while I admonish you!

                        O Israel, if you would but listen to me!

9           There shall be no strange god among you;

                        you shall not bow down to a foreign god.

10         I am the LORD your God,

                        who brought you up out of the land of Egypt.

                        Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it.

Psa. 81:11       “But my people did not listen to my voice;

                        Israel would not submit to me.

12         So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts,

                        to follow their own counsels.

13         Oh, that my people would listen to me,

                        that Israel would walk in my ways!

14         I would soon subdue their enemies

                        and turn my hand against their foes.

15         Those who hate the LORD would cringe toward him,

                        and their fate would last forever.

16         But he would feed you with the finest of the wheat,

                        and with honey from the rock I would satisfy you.” (Psalm 81, English Standard Version)

In my Bible readings this morning, I had a fresh encounter with Psalm 81. It was not altogether a pleasant meeting.

The part that especially got to me was the following:

“‘But my people did not listen to my voice;

                        Israel would not submit to me.

12         So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts,

                        to follow their own counsels.’”

Did you catch that? Because God’s people—God’s own people—refused to listen to God, God gave them over to their own stubborn hearts, to do whatever they had decided to do.

Does that sound like freedom to you? Doing whatever my heart wants frequently does sound like freedom to me. And I have often done whatever my heart told me to do. “Follow your heart!” is a very modern mindset. It is also very ancient.

But what if there is something terribly wrong with our hearts? I believe that there is. This is not because the Bible tells me so, even though the Bible does tell me so. The reason I know that my heart is evil is repeated experience with following my own heart. I’ve done a lot of damage to myself and others by following my own heart. I doubt very seriously that I am alone in this.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Following my own heart does feel like freedom initially. However, sooner or later (and usually sooner), there comes a reckoning. Perhaps I should spell reckoning “wreckoning”, since I have often wrecked my own life and caused great pain to those I was supposed to be loving.

Yes, there is forgiveness. Yes, there is transformation. Yes, God still loves me. And a few very brave people have loved and forgiven me too. They are participants in my transformation. However, my stubborn heart is still a stubborn heart. Daily, I need to listen to God and not my stubborn heart.

And really listening means living differently. Only so am I free in any sense that truly merits being called “freedom”.

“Being a Good Companion to Myself”

“If you can’t stand being by yourself, don’t inflict your presence on others.” (Source unknown, but it’s not me!)

My affirmation for yesterday was as follows:

Today, by God’s grace, I am thinking a little more clearly, running a little faster, working a little harder, speaking a little more kindly, and enjoying my life a little more.

However, I did not do well with living out the affirmation. I was cranky and unappreciative and hard to be with, especially late in the day.

The excuses for why I was so out-of-sorts don’t matter. Even if there were reasons, that doesn’t matter much. The hard fact of the out-of-sort-ness itself is the main thing. I am responsible for my moods. I am also responsible for not spreading my crankiness to everyone or anyone else.

I am reminded of what a great twentieth-century writer of spiritual devotionals said. “Moods don’t go by praying; they go by kicking.”

So, today, I am kicking my bad mood to the curb. That’s where the trash is picked up. I will not inflict my internal garbage on others today. Here is my affirmation for today:

Today, by God’s grace, I am acting out being a person with whom I want to spend time. Since my self is with me everywhere and all the time I go, this is a good plan. This will also make me nicer to be around for others.

The Apostle Paul writes to believers about how they are to live. The verbs for how Christ-followers are to act are all in the present tense in Greek, which emphasizes continual, ongoing action. Here is what Paul says:

Eph. 4:25 ¶ Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.

Eph. 4:26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,

Eph. 4:27 and give no opportunity to the devil.

Eph. 4:28 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need.

Eph. 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Eph. 4:30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

Eph. 4:31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

Eph. 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Eph. 5:1 ¶ Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.

Eph. 5:2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice.”

The truly Christian life is not an experience or a spasm. It is a daily and lifelong commitment to a Christ-like way of living.

I hope that you are in a kind mood—as opposed to kind of a mood—today, dear Reader. However, if you’re not in a kind mood, straighten up and fly right! There is no place for cranky-butts in the Kingdom of God. “For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 14:17, English Standard Version)

“Believers as Naturalists”

“There are believers in the supernatural and then there are those who believe in science and natural law.” That is the attitude of lots of people these days.

What if I told you that there are believers who are also naturalists? That is what I’m going to tell you in this post.

I was listening to Genesis 18 yesterday. For the sake of context, here is part of the chapter relevant to the matter at hand:

Gen. 18:1   And the LORD appeared to him by the oaks of Mamre, as he sat at the door of his tent in the heat of the day. 2 He lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, three men were standing in front of him. When he saw them, he ran from the tent door to meet them and bowed himself to the earth 3 and said, “O Lord, if I have found favor in your sight, do not pass by your servant. 4 Let a little water be brought, and wash your feet, and rest yourselves under the tree, 5 while I bring a morsel of bread, that you may refresh yourselves, and after that you may pass on—since you have come to your servant.” So they said, “Do as you have said.” 6 And Abraham went quickly into the tent to Sarah and said, “Quick! Three seahs of fine flour! Knead it, and make cakes.” 7 And Abraham ran to the herd and took a calf, tender and good, and gave it to a young man, who prepared it quickly. 8 Then he took curds and milk and the calf that he had prepared, and set it before them. And he stood by them under the tree while they ate.

Gen. 18:9   They said to him, “Where is Sarah your wife?” And he said, “She is in the tent.” 10 The LORD said, “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife shall have a son.” And Sarah was listening at the tent door behind him. 11 Now Abraham and Sarah were old, advanced in years. The way of women had ceased to be with Sarah. 12 So Sarah laughed to herself, saying, “After I am worn out, and my lord is old, shall I have pleasure?” 13 The LORD said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Shall I indeed bear a child, now that I am old?’ 14 Is anything too hard for the LORD? At the appointed time I will return to you, about this time next year, and Sarah shall have a son.” 15 But Sarah denied it, saying, “I did not laugh,” for she was afraid. He said, “No, but you did laugh.” (English Standard Version)

This is a story of two old, childless folks who lived about four thousand years ago. They knew the facts of life. And the fact was that they were never going to have a baby. Sarah laughed the laugh of a naturalist who had just been confronted with a supernatural prediction.

Let’s not be too hard on Sarah. Abraham had laughed too when confronted with this baby announcement (Genesis 17:17).

As C.S. Lewis pointed out, the ancients knew where babies came from. They were much more aware of the world (and of what we call “natural law”) than we frequently give them credit for being.

And let’s face it: Miracles are not God’s usual way of operating. If they were, they wouldn’t be so miraculous. If miracles were super common, we wouldn’t be impressed. Indeed, we would take them for granted.

I take great comfort from the fact that Abraham and Sarah were naturalists who came to believe in their own personal miracle. They were told to name the child “Isaac”. Why? Because the name Isaac means “laughter”. Every time the spoke their son’s name, they were reminded of their naturalistic and natural amusement at God’s miraculous prediction.

But God had the last laugh. God always does.

“On Seeing a Fight over a Parking Space and Missing a Sunset”

“Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.

~ Proverbs 29:11

A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.

~ Proverbs 19:11

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

~ Proverbs 15:1

A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.

~ Proverbs 15:18” (From the site https://naturallivingfamily.com/bible-verses-about-anger/?ad_id=526051405341&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI9O2v24WW9QIVzebjBx3dXgQSEAAYASAAEgI2FvD_BwE, accessed 01-03-2022)

My sweetheart and I went to Siesta Key Beach to watch the sunset yesterday. She saw the sunset. I watched a verbal battle that I hope didn’t turn into physical violence.

We left in plenty of time to see the sunset. Unfortunately, we did not leave in plenty of time to find a parking space. It was Sunday, the end of New Years weekend. Siesta Key Beach is beautiful, and lots of people love to watch the sunset there. Factor in also my tendency to crazy way overestimate what I can do in a little time, and you have a perfect storm of a missed sunset.

We did get to the beach about half-an-hour before sunset. (Well, okay, so maybe it was only twenty minutes before sunset.) After cruising around looking for a place, I told my sweetheart to get out and go watch the sunset. “And take some pictures!” I suggested. I wasn’t aggravated. For me, this was a major step in the right direction. Perhaps every step in the right direction is major.

As I cruised around waiting for someone to leave, an unfortunate and unnecessary drama unfolded. Two different vehicles were trying to pull into the same space at the same time. Fermions cannot occupy the same space at the same time. That’s a law of physics. There is no getting around it.

Guys are especially likely to turn everything into a competition. Competitive parking spaces is a particularly ugly sport. I moved on when the competition was still at the trash-talking stage. I hope that sanity eventually prevailed.

Here is the sobering thought for me: Until quite recently I was chronically irritating myself with non-issues like parking spots. Notice how I worded this. I was “. . . chronically irritating myself with non-issues . . . .” I was irritating myself. It was an inside job. Of course, I also irritated a lot of other people along the way as well.

So, the sun set without me there to see it. And it was lovely. And me? I enjoyed cruising around the parking lot at Siesta Key Beach.

However, next time, I’m going to leave at 10 in the morning. I should be able to find a parking space that way.

“2022: The Year of Listening”

Because of the encouragement of Jon Gordon, I have been taking a word or a short phrase as my mantra or focus for the year. For 2022, the word is “Listening”. This year I am listening.

Initially, I was planning to make “Talking Less” my focus. However, it occurred to me that this was a “not-goal”—and not-goals are not good. So, I decided on listening.

This listening will have several aspects. Here are a few that I have identified:

  1. Listening to God.
  2. Listening to Myself.
  3. Listening to Others.

I’m sure that there are other schematic ways of breaking this down, but this seems to me to be a good way to try to wrap my mind around what I am trying to be and become this year. Not all my blog posts will deal with listening, but probably several will. As readers of this blog, you have the right to ask me how the listening is going. Questions, discussion, and your own insights are, of course, most welcome. I will try to listen!

I have no illusion that this is going to be an easy mantra. I’ve never been as good at listening as I have been at talking. Still, hard things are often precisely where the growth is. I hope to grow in my ability to listen this year.

Andy Stanley has a wonderful sermon in which he challenges us to “be quick to listen, slow to speak.” As he admits, he stole these words from James (James 1:19). Unfortunately, I have too often turned around James’ (and Stanley’s) admonition. I’ve been a machine gun when it comes to speaking and refrigerated molasses when it comes to listening. It’s high time I became a biblical listener.

Follow on Feedly