Posts By Dteb
“Knowing People from the Inside Out”
A friend of mine who is a psychologist made an intriguing comment over coffee about twelve-step programs this morning. I was talking about how quickly and deeply twelve-steppers become friends.
My friend said that he was not surprised. “The usual way is for people to put their best foot forward when they are meeting someone new. Later on, people may find out the bad stuff. In twelve-step groups, you tell all your bad stuff first. Instead of getting to know people from the outside in, you know people from the inside out.”
In a little known—and even less practiced—discipline, Christians are told to confess their sins to one another (James 5:16). The Roman Catholic Church delegates this task of confession primarily to a priest. This may be an overly narrow practice of what seems to be simply part of a Christian’s job description.
Protestants, on the other hand, generally ignore confession to their fellow believers altogether. I have heard it said, “We confess to God (or Jesus), not to a priest!” The problem is that the Bible seems to speak of confessing our sins to one another. Only by a huge stretch can the “one another” of James be taken as referring to God.
So, when Christians get together and ask each other how they are, the standard response is “Fine!” or “Blessed!” While I do agree that we are wildly blessed, that is only part of our story. A lot of bad, uncomfortable stuff can be going on in the inside, even for those who are blessed.
Actually, I have known a few Christians who had their lives pretty much together. Then, I got to know them better. They were some of the most dysfunctional people I’ve ever known. Part of their dysfunction was pretending as if they had it all together.
There is a commercial for a bank that has cardboard cutouts that are the supposed support staff for other online “banks.” I confess that sometimes it feels like that with my fellow Christians.
Alcoholics Anonymous, the father or grandfather of every other twelve-step program, began in a church basement. Perhaps the church needs to go underground again, and begin operating from the inside out.
“Leaving Politics in the Voting Booth”
“Rom. 14:1 As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. 2 One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. 3 Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. 4 Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.
Rom. 14:5 One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. 6 The one who observes the day, observes it in honor of the Lord. The one who eats, eats in honor of the Lord, since he gives thanks to God, while the one who abstains, abstains in honor of the Lord and gives thanks to God. 7 For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. 8 For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. 9 For to this end Christ died and lived again, that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the living.
Rom. 14:10 Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; 11 for it is written,
“As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me,
and every tongue shall confess to God.”
Rom. 14:12 So then each of us will give an account of himself to God.
Rom. 14:13 Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. 14 I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. 15 For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. 16 So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil. 17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. 18 Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. 19 So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.” (Romans 14:1-18, English Standard Version)
A very sharp guy at the chess club said a very wise thing the other night. One of the players was getting a bit too political in his questions, and my chess-playing friend said, “I don’t talk about politics in public. I leave politics in the voting booth.” He didn’t say it meanly, but he said it firmly, as if he meant it. The conversation swiftly turned to other things.
This reminded me of something I was frequently told by my parents when I was a boy: “Never talk about religion or politics.” (Sex could have been included among the taboo topics, except for the fact that even the word “sex” was not to be spoken.)
Nowadays, we talk about everything—incessantly. Perhaps we should consider reinstating the old rule of thumb. Much of our talk lacks not just nuance, but substance. We have strong opinions, but we baptize them and rename them convictions. The next step is for our opinionated convictions to become truth. Not our truth, but the truth.
In the passage from Paul’s letter to the Romans that leads off this post, Paul discusses divisions within the Roman Christian community. Some of the Jesus-followers were insisting it was either their way or the highway. Paul reminded them that neither way was the Jesus way. It’s a good reminder for us as well.
Now, neither my friend at chess club nor I are saying that we should never discuss politics or religion (or even sex) at all in any setting. My friend is a history teacher. He seeks to help his students to engage in critical thinking about political issues. We need to engage thoughtfully in discussions about all kinds of issues.
However, critical thinking isn’t what goes on these days in most political discussions. In fact, even the word “discussion” is a euphemism for rants and tirades and demonizing the opposition. Such things shouldn’t be left in the voting booth. They should be put in the garbage can.
“Unsubtle Guidance”
“8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
9 Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding,
which must be curbed with bit and bridle,
or it will not stay near you.” (Psalm 32:8-9, English Standard Version)
In a phone conversation with my friend Bob, I mentioned a book that I had just finished. I found the book very helpful.
“Hey! I just finished a really good book, Atomic Habits,” I said. I heard laughter on the other end of the phone connection. I didn’t realize that finishing a book was so funny, but I soon found out why he was laughing. His wife had just said to my friend that they needed to listen to that book on audio and discuss it. His son had also mentioned the book to Bob.
“I think God may be trying to tell me something,” Bob said. “I’m not that big on those kinds of books, but I think I do need to read it.”
This led to a discussion about God’s guidance through people’s not-so-random comments. “Sometimes, God speaks to me very subtly,” Bob said, “and sometimes I miss it.”
And I chipped in with the following comment and pledge: “I think I’ll start my day tomorrow with the prayer, ‘Speak to me and guide me today, LORD. And don’t be too subtle about it!’”
I know that God, like any good parent, wants his children to be guided by his quietist whisper or even his look, as the psalm verse that leads off this meditation suggests. However, I want to do what God wants today. And if God needs to be unsubtle, so be it!
I did indeed begin this morning, before I even got out of bed, with this prayer. I am planning on incorporating it into my usual routine. I’ll let you know if it helps. I suspect it will.
Meanwhile, you can marinate in the following two statements. I’ve forgotten the source, but the saying wears well.
“The question is not whether God still speaks. The question is, is anybody listening?”
“Confessions of a Blabber Mouth”
1 “Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. To draw near to listen is better than to offer the sacrifice of fools, for they do not know that they are doing evil. 2 Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth. Therefore let your words be few. 3 For a dream comes with much business, and a fool’s voice with many words.” (Ecclesiastes 5:13, English Standard Version)
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;” (James 1:19, English Standard Version)
I talk too much. I’ve known this since I was fairly young. My wife and friends tolerate it because they love me. Others pretend to tolerate it.
Let me say more about this.
See what I mean?! I talk a lot even when I’m writing and not talking.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I frequently say things that are quite helpful to people. However, as with everything else in life, too much is too much. Nobody really wants to sift the sand along the seashore to find an occasional gem.
So, here is what I’ve decided to do.
- I have decided to join another twelve-step program, Talker’s Anonymous. I’m not sure if such an organization actually exists. If not, I may have to start one.
2. I have decided to start asking myself a series of questions before I speak.
Is this true?
Is this likely to helpful?
Is this the right time to say what I am thinking of saying?
Of course, the possibility exists that, by the time I have answered these questions, the conversation will have swirled on to other matters. Would that be a fatal thing—or even a serious thing? Probably not?
There is an old rabbinic saying which counsels students to “say little and do much.” Good advice! I think I’ll take it to heart—and to my lips.
“On Falling Leaves, Death, and Life”
“When the white eagle of the North
Is flying overhead
And the browns, reds and golds of autumn
Lie in the gutter, dead
Remember then, the summer birds
With wings of fire flaying
Come to witness Spring’s new hope
Born of leaves decaying
As new life will come from death
Love will come at leisure
Love of love, love of life
And giving without measure
Gives in return a wondrous yearn
Of a promise almost seen
Live hand-in-hand
And together we’ll stand
On the threshold of a dream….” (The Moody Blues, from their 1969 album “On the Threshold of a Dream”)
I was watching a leaf falling from a tree on a beautiful, warm day in November. I had just gotten word that a good friend had died. I’ll call him “John”. This is not his real first name. We try to be very protective of people’s privacy in our groups. We were part of a group for mutual support and accountability.
John had a severe stroke two weeks ago. He died on November 10. When I got the word that I did not want to hear, I went outside for a good cry. And then, there was this leaf, this beautiful golden leaf falling slowly to the ground.
The tree didn’t seem to be upset about this. But then, I don’t understand the language of trees.
John was always encouraging to me and very insightful. He was a leader in our group, and I doubt that we can replace him. Perhaps no one can ever really be replaced. He loved his wife, his children, and his grandchildren. Often, John struggled to love and value himself. Most of us can identify with that.
This morning, I read the news that Graeme Edge, the drummer for the Moody Blues, had died. He wrote and spoke the words that lead off this post. In the poem, Edge speaks of remembering summer and hoping toward spring. Yes! And amen!
There is a rumor that is occasionally heard—and more often dismissed—that there is a life beyond this one. I struggle to believe that sometimes. I take heart from the fact that God’s people in both the Old and New Testaments also struggled to believe it. Struggling to believe something is not a sign that it is either true or false.
But since I usually struggle more to believe what turns out to be true, I suspect that there really is a life after this one. John was determined to live his life with integrity and to help others to do so as well. He certainly helped me. He was preparing himself for living well in this life and in the next life, although he entered it much sooner than any of us wanted.
R.I.P. John and Graeme.
“Believing We’re Forgiven, Provided . . .”
I believe that God can forgive anybody, even me. However, I also believe that there is a proviso. A proviso is a condition that must take place for an agreement to be kept.
Many people think that God’s love and forgiveness are unconditional. In a deep sense, that is true. There are no provisos in God’s love.
However, in order for us to actually experience God’s loving forgiveness, one of my recent twelve-step readings pointed out that there is a proviso. Here is part of that reading:
“Meditation for the Day
‘One thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things that are before, I press onward toward the goal.’ We should forget those things, which are behind us and press onward toward something better. We can believe that God has forgiven us for all our past sins, provided we are honestly trying to live today the way we believe He wants us to live. We can wipe clean the slate of the past. We can start today with a clean slate and go forward with confidence toward the goal that has been set before us.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may drop off the load of the past. I pray that I may start today with a light heart and a new confidence.”
(From Twenty-Four Hours a Day © 1975 by Hazelden Foundation.)
I was struck by the sentence, “We can believe that God has forgiven us for all our past sins, provided we are honestly trying to live today the way we believe He wants us to live. We can wipe clean the slate of the past.”
How we live our lives—which is mostly made up of the choices we make—matters in many ways. One way that making good choices matters is in the realm of assurance of God’s love and forgiveness. Sure, we are forgiven! Good news indeed! Our past does not have to determine our present or our future! More good news!
But all of this good news won’t mean much unless we are honestly striving to live the best lives we can. So, how about if we get busy fulfilling this proviso today? It isn’t about God fulfilling God’s part of deliverance. That part, we can take to the bank. It’s about the proviso.
Living out the proviso is hard work, but it is also good work. And doing good work gives us all kinds of assurance—including the fact that our past does not define us.
DTEB, “On Being Good to God”
I was journaling this morning. After my gratitude list, I wrote the following:
“I really want to be good to God today. We all want God (or the universe or other people or life) to be good to us. But today I want to be good to God. I’m not sure what that will entail in terms of my being and doings. I just know that I want to be good to you, LORD. Please direct me to the right thoughts, words, and actions to pull this off.”
Now, the problem with speaking to God is that God might get a word or two in edgewise. That is what I think happened this morning. It is difficult not to believe in God when you’ve started the day with a conversation with God. I frequently try to doubt the existence of God, but it is getting harder and harder, and I wonder if it is worth the effort.
Anyway, here is the conversation:
GOD: “Well, my child, I’m glad that you want to be good to me. That is very kind of you! Now, would you like to know how?”
Me: “Yes, indeed I do, LORD! However, remember that I am very much a beginner at this.”
GOD: “I am aware that you are a beginner, child. So, we’ll keep this really simple.
- Treat yourself well. I’m not talking about immediate gratification. That is not treating yourself well. That will destroy you, as you already more than half suspect. But treat yourself truly well. You don’t honor me by unnecessary self-denials. (You can reread Colossians 2:16-23 for further details, if you need them.)
- Treat others well. Be on the lookout for what they need. To the limit of your ability, meet those needs. Be kind. Think the best of people.
- Continue to be grateful to me and to depend on me.”
Me: “That’s it, LORD?! That’s all there is?!”
GOD: “Yep! And that will keep you plenty busy today or any day.”
I hope that you also have a busy and good day, dear reader!
“From Being a Refugee to an Inheritance Beyond Imaging”
Psalm 16 begins with the plea of a refugee and ends with an affirmation of an inheritance that brings us a joy that lasts forever. Here is this little psalm with some big meanings:
“Psa. 16:0 A Miktam of David.
Psa. 16:1 Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.
2 I say to the LORD, “You are my Lord;
I have no good apart from you.”
Psa. 16:3 As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones,
in whom is all my delight.
Psa. 16:4 The sorrows of those who run after another god shall multiply;
their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out
or take their names on my lips.
Psa. 16:5 The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup;
you hold my lot.
6 The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
Psa. 16:7 I bless the LORD who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me.
8 I have set the LORD always before me;
because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.
Psa. 16:9 Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure.
10 For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
or let your holy one see corruption.
Psa. 16:11 You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
Did you notice how David starts off asking God for help and protection. The plea for God to be a “refuge” means that David is a refugee. And David really was a refugee on more than one occasion. Whether he was running from Saul or his own son Absalom, David knew what it was to be uprooted.
Probably we all feel uprooted at times. We can feel as if we have a house, but no home. We are alienated from loved ones—or they are alienated from us. Sometimes, we even feel alienated from ourselves, or at least, from our better selves.
One of the reasons many people love the psalms is because many of the psalms give voice to our own feelings of loneliness, of isolation, of unbelonging. We need someone else to voice our feelings because we can’t.
But this psalm, and many others, do not stop with our refugee status. In verse 6, this refugee speaks of an inheritance. Refugees, in most countries, cannot inherit property. Yet, this is precisely what David is saying. God has given him an inheritance, and a good one at that!
But the news keeps coming and gets better. David affirms that God’s way is a path of life that is full of joy and pleasures that last forever.
Commenting on Psalm 16:11, Derek Kidner writes,
“This verse is unsurpassed for the beauty of the prospect it opens up, in words of the utmost simplicity. The path of life is so called, not only because of its goal but because to walk that way is to live, in the true sense of the word, already (cf. 25:10; Prov. 4:18). It leads without a break into God’s presence and into eternity (evermore). The joy (lit. joys) and pleasures are presented as wholly satisfying (this is the force of fullness, from the same root as ‘satisfied’ in 17:15) and endlessly varied, for they are found in both what he is and what he gives – joys of his face (the meaning of presence) and of his right hand.50 The refugee of verse 1 finds himself an heir, and his inheritance beyond all imagining and all exploring.”
That last sentence really grabs me by the throat: “The refugee of verse 1 finds himself an heir, and his inheritance beyond all imagining and all exploring.”
Yes! Amen!
DOWN TO EARTH BELIEVER
- DTEB, “Getting Christ and Ourselves Back in Focus” November 11, 2024“Col. 3:1 ¶ If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Col. 3:2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. Col. 3:3 For you have died, and your life is hidden […]
- “Search Me!” October 27, 2024“Psa. 139:23 Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! 24 And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” (Psalm 139:23-24, English Standard Version) I am participating in a Bible study, and this is a prayer […]
- “Christian Speech” October 26, 2024“Eph. 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Foulkes, in his excellent commentary on the Book of Ephesians, writes the following, which I quote at some length: “29. Now the […]
- “God is in the Details” October 11, 2024“The devil is in the details.” (A general saying, often quoted by lawyers, reporters, and negotiators.) “God is in the details.” (Me, almost certainly not original.) “Luke 12:7 Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.” (Jesus) God does not micromanage, but God […]
- “Grandma’s Pump” October 8, 2024When I was a little critter, I would stay at my grandma’s house for a night or two sometimes. I liked this for a lot for many reasons. One thing I liked about staying with her was that Grandma’s house was much more technologically advanced than ours was. For one thing, she had indoor water—sort […]
- “Wearing the #14 Wrong-Side-Out” October 5, 2024Pete Rose, #14, is dead. Many of the old guys with whom I play softball watched him play and appreciated him greatly. I do as well. He was one of the greatest players who ever played the game. Yes, he admitted (eventually) to betting on baseball. But many of us still regard him as one […]
- “Passing Along the Love (and a Link)” October 4, 2024Several years ago, a friend of mine put me onto a daily meditation by Richard Rohr and friends. I don’t read them all the time, but I probably should. They are good! I thought that today’s writing was especially good, and I also figured that this would be a good way to post something. I […]
- “Witnessing Versus Being Witnesses” September 19, 2024“Acts 1:1 In the first book, O Theophilus, I have dealt with all that Jesus began to do and teach, Acts 1:2 until the day when he was taken up, after he had given commands through the Holy Spirit to the apostles whom he had chosen. Acts 1:3 He presented himself alive to them after […]
- “A Bathroom Prayer for Hurting Hands” September 11, 2024A week ago Sunday, my hands were hurting so badly at church that I went to the bathroom to run hot water over my hands. Arthritis perhaps, or carpal tunnel, or general orneriness—I don’t know why my hands hurt, but they do. They have for years. So, while I was running hot water over my […]
- “Waiting and Seeking” September 10, 2024“Lam. 3:19 ¶ Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall! Lam. 3:20 My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. Lam. 3:21 But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: Lam. 3:22 ¶ The steadfast love of the LORD […]
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