Posts By Dteb
DTEB, “Humility: The Best Policy”
Little things often suggest bigger truths. For example, . . .
. . . I was doing my gratitude list and threw in a comma before the word “but”. My grammar checker flagged the comma. I was a blend of irritated and curious. What was wrong with putting a comma there? My grammar checker was wrong on this one!
Or so I thought.
I checked with Professor Google. Curiosity triumphed over my irritation. From my first hit, I learned that I should only put a comma before the word “but” when it joins two independent clauses.
Here was my original sentence, edited to preserve the privacy of the one for whom I was grateful”
“_________________ had a bad wreck, but is doing well now (or at least better).”
But then, I said to myself—still irritated and wanting to justify my grammatical self—that these two clauses were independent. In fact, now I was even more irritated.
And then it hit me: No, they were not two independent, stand-alone clauses. There is no subject in the second half of the sentence. Therefore, this clause is not independent. I threw in the little word “he” and my grammar checker’s two blue lines magically disappeared. Poof!
Things wax very ironic here. I am a teacher. I am not just interested in good content when I read my students’ papers. I correct my students’ grammar frequently. One of my major emphases is that every sentence needs to have a subject and a verb. I don’t like subjects that are merely “understood”, yet not expressed. It is too easy to misunderstand when something is (supposedly) understood. And here I was, doing the very thing that I correct in my students’ papers.
So, I not only learned something about grammar. I also learned something about me. I learned—again—that I get irritated (and irritation gets me) by what I think I know but don’t. And why is that? I lack one of the cardinal virtues: humility. And naturally, a lack of humility makes me irritated. It also makes me more judgmental of others. What I think I know but don’t may not be so bad in and of itself. In fact, it probably doesn’t amount to anything. However, it can lead to other bad things like pride, irritation, and judgmentalism. Or rather, what I don’t know but think I know can reveal the pride, irritation, and judgmentalism that are already there.
What a lot of unwelcome insight a little comma can generate!
“Fear as Love, Fear as Hate”
Fear can be part of love. Fear can also be a form of hate.
I am afraid to displease my wife. That is part of my love for her.
The Bible has a great deal to say about fearing God and respecting others. It also has a great deal to say about loving God and others. In both the Old and New Testaments, a proper fear (or reverence or respect) for God and others is a major theme. So is love. Apparently love and fear—or, at least, a certain type of fear—are not sworn enemies.
On the other hand, according to Proverbs 29:25, “The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe.” (English Standard Version) Apparently, there is a kind of fear that is not a good thing. In fact, I would go so far as to suggest that there is a kind of fear that shades off into hate.
This thought occurred to me today as I was struggling with why I hate new things so much. Of course, I could blame this tendency in me on old age. Why not? Old age ought to be good for something! Why not use it as a scapegoat—especially when you’re an old goat like me!
But here is my problem: Ever since I can remember anything (which is since I was about three years old), I’ve hated new things. When I go to a Mexican restaurant, I order the chimichangas. My wife asks, “Why don’t you order something different?” My usual response is, “Because I know I like the chimichangas. If I ordered something else, I’m afraid that I might not like it.”
Fear.
I don’t like listening to new songs or reading new books or new genres of books. Why? I’m afraid that I might not like them.
Fear.
I don’t like trying to learn new games generally. Why? By now, you know the answer.
Fear!
But in a sense, all this fear is a form of hate. Hate is often just fear that has hardened into a snarling, vicious dog. So, what if my fears cause me to hate new stuff, new attitudes, even (God help me!) new people.
God says, of the new heaven and the new earth, “Behold, I make all things new.” I’m not so sure that I will like new things.
But maybe hell is a place where everything stays the same. And I’m not so sure that I would like that, either.
I would hate to miss out on the new heaven and earth, just because I’m afraid of new things.
“Pickleball Lesson and Lessons from Pickleball”
We have friends back home who are really into Pickleball. My wife and I now see why. It is great fun and highly addictive!
At the RV resort where we are staying, they have a lot of activities. My wife, who is much more adventurous than I am, signed us up for a Pickleball class. We went, we saw, we were conquered.
The folks who were conducting the class were knowledgeable, patient, funny, and kind. We liked them immediately. It turns out that several of them had been teachers. They still are—and good ones at that.
One of them told us about the three “P’s of Pickleball: Placement, Patience, and Power.” I can’t remember if patience or placement comes first, but I’m certain that power came last.
Of course, I immediately thought to myself, “Well, there’s tomorrow’s blog post!” No matter what I read, here, or experience, my mind goes to life and spirituality.
Where you “place” yourself on the court and where you place your shot is important. It is the same with life. When I get up in the morning, where and how I place myself is crucial to how my day will go. I place myself in the mindset that it is going to be a great day. I place myself in a state of gratitude by making a list of things for which I am grateful. I do my 12-step report to my sponsors, text with another 12-step friend, and do some 12-step readings. I read Scripture and pray. (I also have coffee, which helps with all of the above.)
Patience is crucial to pickleball and life. I am not good at patience. This is, at least in part, a result of the fact that I’ve practiced so little. I’m not very patient with other people and I’m not patient at all with myself. (Hummm . . . I wonder if my impatience with other people is one of the bitter fruits of my self-impatience?) I expect myself to do things that I simply can’t do—go back and change mistakes I made in the past, be really good at things (like Pickleball) right away, and generally be better than I am right now.
Of course, both patience and impatience are the fruit of frustration. And who wants to be frustrated? In fact, it goes even beyond frustration. The Apostle Paul said that “tribulation brings about patient” (Romans 5:3). And who wants that! Someone said years ago, “I prayed for patience and God sent tribulation.” Yep! I am afraid that’s the way it works!
And then there is power. Most of us don’t have enough. At least we don’t think that we have enough power. I was never powerful, even when I was young. Growing up on the farm, I always threw the bales of hay up on the wagon or into the barn more by adrenaline than by strength. I will soon be seventy, and I can testify that my power is not getting more powerful.
However, power is the third and least important of the three “P’s” in pickleball. And I do have some power. So do you. So do we all. Am I, are you, properly using the power we’re given? My 12-step sponsor never tires of reminding me to “just keep doing the next right thing.” I never get tired of hearing it, either. It’s a good reminder and very necessary. Doing the next right thing is the best way to use power.
And, of course, there is God. Where does he come into all this? Let me suggest that God is the Greatest Pickleball Player ever. He is God with us. In fact, this is an important fourth “P”. God is present with us. That is God’s placement. This God who is present is very patient with us, not destroying us for our many stupidities and wrong-doings. And God is present and incredibly powerful. And he waits to empower each of us.
“A Happy Little Zing in My Brain”
DTEB, “A Happy Little Zing in My Brain”
“. . . the joy of the LORD is your strength.” (Nehemiah 8:10)
“the fruit of the Spirit is . . . joy . . . .” (Galatians 5:22)
“9 As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. 10 If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. 11 These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.” (John 15:9-11, Jesus is speaking to his disciples, just before his arrest and execution.)
Concerning a tiny habit that he was trying to refine, B.J. Fogg says, “When I did it the first time, I got a happy little zing in my brain that told me that I had hit the right spot.”[1]
We need to pay attention to those happy little zings. They may be a sip—or at least the scent—of a heady wine called the joy of the LORD.
Both the Old and New Testaments speak of this joy. This is a secret that is too little known about faith in God. I don’t know the secret well myself, but I am happy to blab about it anyway. The secret is this: There is a joy that comes from trusting and obeying the LORD. There is a joy that comes from knowing the God loves me just as I am. And believe you me, God knows me just as I am! And it isn’t always pretty. But God goes right on loving anyway.
As I live in God’s love and as I love God and people in response to God’s love for me, I feel those happy little zings in my brain. Being loved and loving is not always easy. The zings come only when I actually do something. And the truth is that I am sometimes incredibly lazy—even when things are easy. And, of course, doing the next right thing is not always the easiest thing to do. In fact, sometimes it is incredibly hard.
But then, there are those brain-zings. And I do like those!
I wish for you a zingy day!
[1] B.J. Fogg, Tiny Habits: The Small Changes that Change Everything (Boston: Houghton, Mifflin, Harcourt, 2020).
“The Prayer of a Man Too Busy for Gratitude Lists”
God, is it important for me to actually write down my items of gratitude? Couldn’t I just be grateful? I’m busy! There are so many things I want to do! And some, I really ought to do. I could save time by skipping the list.
But here is the problem as I see it: I think the lists keep me alert during the day for things that invite gratitude. And I definitely need to be aware of the things that make for gratitude. Otherwise, I just become a more selfish, gloomy, despairing person. And I already have way more of those qualities (especially the selfishness) than I need.
So, I guess I know the answer. Don’t like it, but I know it.
GRATITUDE LIST:
- Gratitude lists.
- The ability to do healthy things that I don’t want to do.
- . . .
“The Rule of 15”
I have decided that from here on out, I am going to live by the Rule of 15.
What on earth is “the Rule of 15,” you ask? The Rule of 15 states that, whenever I am about to say or do anything, I keep in mind the Rule of 15. The rule asks me how I’m going to feel about this word or action in 15 seconds, 15 hours, 15, days, or 15 years. I don’t have to go through every permutation of these time increments. In fact, 15 seconds is usually enough.
Now, I can hear your mental wheels turning. You’re thinking to yourself, “He’s not going to be able to ask that question? There isn’t time. He won’t be able to say or do anything!”
And I would respond with two counterpoints. First, would it really be such a bad thing if I said and did less? When all is said and done, I say and do a lot of downright stupidities.
Second, I spend a lot more time than 15 seconds, 15, hours, and 15 days regretting things I’ve done in the past. And yes, as a matter of fact, some of my decisions have haunted me for a lot longer than even 15 years. So, a simple cost-benefits analysis would suggest that the Rule of 15 is a good way of budgeting my time and my life.
And the reason for the Rule of 15 is simple: Immediate gratification is not really so gratifying. “Trust your feelings!” is the mantra of many of us modern folks. And it is a good mantra—provided. (You knew there would be fine print, didn’t you? There’s always fine print.) Trusting my feelings is fine, provided that I trust my longer-term feelings. The main thing is to ask myself how I’ll feel in 15.
One final thought. My own belief, shared with many others, is that I will live forever. I can’t wrap my mind around that, but I do believe it. If my decisions in the here and now are decisions that I will need to live with forever, suddenly the Rule of 15—even 15 years—becomes a pretty minimalistic requirement.
Now, if you are like me, you’ve made a lot of bad decisions over the years. You’ve said and done lots of things that you would love to unsay or undo. But, of course, we can’t, can we? And we’ve also failed to do the right things. The Rule of 15 sounds like a heavy burden, doesn’t it?
Oh, do I have some good news for you and me and for the entire world! In 15 seconds or less, all of your sins can be forgiven. How do I know this? Because it has happened to me.
One time, when my past was up in my face taunting me, I asked God what his pet name for me is. The problem with asking God a question is that he may actually answer you. I don’t listen well to my friends, my wife, my better angels, or even God, but every once in a while, I am so desperate that I muster all my courage and take the plunge. I don’t feel that I very often hear the voice of God, but this time, I think I did. God’s pet name for me is . . .
. . . Forgiven.
I don’t have an exclusive copyright on that name. It can be your name too.
“A String of Behavioral Beeds”
No, the word “Beeds” in the title is not a misspelling. It is a wonderful new word that a friend of mine coined.
He and I are part of a threesome who help one another with growth and accountability. We are always seeking ways in which we can grow and become better men.
My friend was trying to find an English word for “the smallest meaningful unit of behavior” and couldn’t. So, he invented the word “beed”. It is a blend word, also known as a portmanteau word. (Think of “smog”, which combines “smoke” with “fog”.)
The word “beed” combines the words “behavior” and “deed”. Beeds are not big, hairy audacious goals, or even dramatic deeds. Beeds are the atoms of behavioral molecules.
Too often, we are rather dismissive of small things. However, that is like being dismissive of atoms, which are the building blocks of the entire created universe.
To do small, but good things, is to participate in the creation of the universe. It is to live out our humanity as the images of God.
Jesus said that even giving a cup of cold water or visiting someone who was sick or in prison was important and would receive a glorious reward. Jesus was apparently into beeds.
So, let me ask you an important question: What needs can you create and string together today?
As I was writing this post, I got word that my mother-in-law just passed away. It was a long and bitter battle for her. I loved my mother-in-law. Still do.
Several of my friends have picked up the phone when I’ve called. When they couldn’t, they soon called me back. Picking up a phone a very small beed, but it just goes to show you how important and meaningful even a small beed can be.
Let’s all string some beeds today. What do you say?
“Advice vs. Guidance”
Before I threw the covers off this morning, I prayed that God would guide me through and throughout this day. My 12-step affirmation for today is “Today, I am allowing my Higher Power to guide me to make good choices and to follow through on those choices.”
Then, strangely enough, in one of my 12-step readings, I encountered a section entitled “Divinely Led.” It began with an epigraph, which is also a prayer:
“Send me the right thought, word, or action. Show me what my next step should be. In times of doubt and indecision please send your inspiration and guidance.
—Alcoholics Anonymous” (https://www.hazeldenbettyford.org/thought-for-the-day?book=2&date=2021-02-11)
It is so much easier to give advice than guidance. An advisor points out the direction you should go. A guide goes with you.
According to both the Old and New Testaments, God is not an advisor. God is a guide. Of course, God is not just a guide. God is many things. But God isa guide.
I really appreciate that sometimes. I can get lost in my own close closet—and it isn’t even a walk-in closet. For sure, I can get lost in my own mind. As someone has said, “The mind is a dark and scary place. Don’t go there alone!”
My Guide often accompanies me to places I don’t want to go, but my Guide goes with me. And when I follow and arrive at this place I did not want to go, there is a delightful view or a needful lesson to be learned—sometimes a view and a lesson.
God guides me in many ways: through the Bible, for sure, but in other ways as well. Here is a very partial list of ways in which my Guide guides:
- The Bible.
- Other books and articles, both sacred and secular.
- Music.
- Friends.
- 12-step readings.
- Internal nudging from the Holy Spirit.
- My dog.
- My circumstances.
- Trial and error.
- My own internal longings. (Well, some of them.)
Who’s to say? Perhaps God even guides through blog posts like this one. May you be guided through this day!
“A Warning against Gangs and Other Forms of Greedy Gangster Activities”
Gangs come in various sizes and flavors. So does greed.
Take Proverbs 1:10-19 for example. Yes, they were around in ancient times as well! Did you really think that gangs were a modern phenomenon?
“Prov. 1:10 My son, if sinners entice you,
do not consent.
Prov. 1:11 If they say, “Come with us, let us lie in wait for blood;
let us ambush the innocent without reason;
Prov. 1:12 like Sheol let us swallow them alive,
and whole, like those who go down to the pit;
Prov. 1:13 we shall find all precious goods,
we shall fill our houses with plunder;
Prov. 1:14 throw in your lot among us;
we will all have one purse”—
Prov. 1:15 my son, do not walk in the way with them;
hold back your foot from their paths,
Prov. 1:16 for their feet run to evil,
and they make haste to shed blood.
Prov. 1:17 For in vain is a net spread
in the sight of any bird,
Prov. 1:18 but these men lie in wait for their own blood;
they set an ambush for their own lives.
Prov. 1:19 Such are the ways of everyone who is greedy for unjust gain;
it takes away the life of its possessors.”
The enticements of a gang are many. Love of violence (and control?) for its own sake, easy money, and being “one of the gang”—literally—all play their part. But in verses 18 and 19, the father-teacher points out something that the gang does not tell its recruits: Evil and violence are self-defeating. Indeed, evil and violence are not so much a quick way to easy money, as they are a quick way to an early grave.
But notice how verse 19 is not content to simply point out the danger of gangs. “Such are the ways of everyone who is greedy for unjust gain; it takes away the life of its possessors” (italics mine). This broadens the warning to include more than the danger of gangs.
The same Hebrew word that is used for “unjust gain” in 1:19 is used in connection with the taking of bribes in Prov. 15:27
“Whoever is greedy for unjust gain troubles his own household,
but he who hates bribes will live.” (English Standard Version)
Notice the word “whoever” in this verse. This proverb is not just talking about the danger of gangs for a young person. It is generalized to involve anyone who takes a bribe.
Similarly, Proverbs 28:16 speaks of the danger of a ruler taking a unjust gain:
“A ruler who lacks understanding is a cruel oppressor,
but he who hates unjust gain will prolong his days.”
Apparently, those in positions of political authority were especially prone to shorten their days, their very lives, with unjust gain. Imagine that! Political corruption and cruelty! I’m certainly glad that we don’t have that these days! (Yes, you’re right: I am being ironic, if not sarcastic.)
But lest we too quickly let our own selves off the unjust gain hook, perhaps we should think more deeply about the danger. Let me personalize the matter by asking myself some uncomfortable questions.
In what way might I be profiting by the cruelty of others? Have I ever bothered to examine my investment portfolios to see specifically the investments that my Edward Jones folks are doing on my behalf? Am I as innocent in these matters as I would like to believe? The question answers itself. And frankly, I don’t like the answer.
And what about taking credit for things I don’t do? Or, at least, for things that I don’t do alone? I don’t intentionally plagiarize, but I do sometimes “accidentally” forget my source. Is it really so accidental?
What about hogging all the attention? I’ve always struggled with that. Still do. All people need some positive, concentrated attention if they to thrive. By always wanting to be in the limelight myself, do I shade out other people and stunt their growth? Such an attitude is not so different from what Proverbs 1:19 warns us against. Even a small gang of Me, Myself, and I is quite deadly. Self-preoccupation not only harms others. It is also toxic to me.
So how do I avoid becoming part of a gang or being a gang? I need to keep in mind constantly the dangers involved. And I need to remember that God doesn’t have a gang; he has a family, of which I claim to be a part. And isn’t that enough, really? I am not the center of attention and I don’t need to be. Loving God and loving people may not lead to easy money, but it does lead to a life that is well-lived and profoundly satisfying.
DOWN TO EARTH BELIEVER
- DTEB, “Getting Christ and Ourselves Back in Focus” November 11, 2024“Col. 3:1 ¶ If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Col. 3:2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. Col. 3:3 For you have died, and your life is hidden […]
- “Search Me!” October 27, 2024“Psa. 139:23 Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! 24 And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” (Psalm 139:23-24, English Standard Version) I am participating in a Bible study, and this is a prayer […]
- “Christian Speech” October 26, 2024“Eph. 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Foulkes, in his excellent commentary on the Book of Ephesians, writes the following, which I quote at some length: “29. Now the […]
- “God is in the Details” October 11, 2024“The devil is in the details.” (A general saying, often quoted by lawyers, reporters, and negotiators.) “God is in the details.” (Me, almost certainly not original.) “Luke 12:7 Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.” (Jesus) God does not micromanage, but God […]
- “Grandma’s Pump” October 8, 2024When I was a little critter, I would stay at my grandma’s house for a night or two sometimes. I liked this for a lot for many reasons. One thing I liked about staying with her was that Grandma’s house was much more technologically advanced than ours was. For one thing, she had indoor water—sort […]
- “Wearing the #14 Wrong-Side-Out” October 5, 2024Pete Rose, #14, is dead. Many of the old guys with whom I play softball watched him play and appreciated him greatly. I do as well. He was one of the greatest players who ever played the game. Yes, he admitted (eventually) to betting on baseball. But many of us still regard him as one […]
- “Passing Along the Love (and a Link)” October 4, 2024Several years ago, a friend of mine put me onto a daily meditation by Richard Rohr and friends. I don’t read them all the time, but I probably should. They are good! I thought that today’s writing was especially good, and I also figured that this would be a good way to post something. I […]
- “Witnessing Versus Being Witnesses” September 19, 2024“Acts 1:1 In the first book, O Theophilus, I have dealt with all that Jesus began to do and teach, Acts 1:2 until the day when he was taken up, after he had given commands through the Holy Spirit to the apostles whom he had chosen. Acts 1:3 He presented himself alive to them after […]
- “A Bathroom Prayer for Hurting Hands” September 11, 2024A week ago Sunday, my hands were hurting so badly at church that I went to the bathroom to run hot water over my hands. Arthritis perhaps, or carpal tunnel, or general orneriness—I don’t know why my hands hurt, but they do. They have for years. So, while I was running hot water over my […]
- “Waiting and Seeking” September 10, 2024“Lam. 3:19 ¶ Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall! Lam. 3:20 My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. Lam. 3:21 But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: Lam. 3:22 ¶ The steadfast love of the LORD […]
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