Monthly Archives: August 2016
THE PASSING OF SUMMER AND THE FLOW OF LIFE
Here is my journal entry for this morning.
Wednesday, August 24, 2016
Where has this summer gone?!?
But then I feel that way toward the end of every summer I’ve lived so far. I doubt that feeling is going to change at this late date.
However, I more than half suspect that I am asking the wrong question. The question I ought to be asking is this: What am I doing, right now, with this day? Am I filling it with worthwhile attitudes and tasks? Am I doing what I need to be doing at any moment? Am I enjoying the day? Am I making the day enjoyable for others, as much as it lies within my power to do so?
If so, my perception of the passage of time merely indicates that I am enjoying my life and living well.
On the other hand, if I am wasting time regretting the passing of time, I’m just passing the time in an unhelpful manner.
So, today, by God’s grace, I will work hard, laugh whenever I can, cry if I need to, have some fun, make life more enjoyable for everyone with whom I come into contact (especially Sharon), learn something new, and generally live well.
Bedtime and the Balance Between Judgment and Grace
My nephew, his wife, and their first child dropped by for a visit. My nephew is one of the kindest, most gentle young men I’ve ever known. Nevertheless, he has already begun to have certain expectations of his six-month-old son. While it has become unfashionable to have expectations of anyone under the age of eighteen, I think that Caleb is a wise dad.
For example, when Caleb and Deborah put the little guy down for the night, they actually expect him to sleep. Imagine that! If he fusses, they check to see that he is okay, and if he is, Caleb talks to Jared, and then taps him a couple of times on his bottom. (No, this is not child abuse. Caleb is as far from an angry, controlling abuser as you could ever imagine.)
But then, Caleb does something else. He picks up Jared, cuddles him, and tells him how much he loves him, but that it is time to go to sleep. I am old-fashioned enough to think that this is a good balance.
However, a problem has arisen: Jared enjoys being held and cuddled, so now he sometimes gets fussy at bedtime in order to get some attention.
So, Caleb is struggling with something we all struggle with all our lives: the balance between judgment and unconditional love. It sometimes feels like a tightrope with no net below you.
My wife and I had a similar problem with our first child. She was about six weeks old, and would not sleep for more than fifteen minutes at night. My wife was nursing her. Our little one would nibble around, and then doze off to sleep—for a few minutes. Then, she would wake up and want to eat some more. My wife and I were about to go crazy from lack of sleep.
Finally, my wife talked to her mom about the problem. Her mom said that we needed to let our daughter “cry it out.” So we did. The first night, our baby cried pathetically for the longest fifteen minutes of our lives. Then, she stopped. Then she cried. Then she stopped. We finally figured out that she was listening for footsteps. That night, she ate more than usual when my wife went in to nurse her.
The next night, she cried less, ate more, and slept more. Within a few days, she was sleeping through the night, and so were we.
A friend of mine and I are accountability partners to each other. Later the same day my nephew’s family visited, my friend and I were talking on the phone about balancing taking our sins seriously and God’s unconditional love. I did not make the connection with Jared’s bedtime behavior until later.
God really, genuinely, deeply loves us. No matter how old we are, we are still his little children.
However, God also has expectations of us. When we rebel against those expectations, judgment follows.
Sometimes, I’m afraid, we (I) fall into the trap—and it is a trap—of thinking that we need to rebel in order to experience God’s unconditional love. God swiftly backs away, in order to give us time to think (and act) more soberly. Perhaps we feel that God has abandoned us.
No, God has not abandoned us! He is just on the other side of the door of judgment, waiting for us to take his call to holiness more seriously. Perhaps God’s judgment is one aspect of his unconditional love, rather than the opposite of God’s unconditional love. God loves us entirely too much to let us get by with controlling, manipulative behavior, at any age. Perhaps we don’t need to keep the balance between unconditional love and judgment. Perhaps we just need to respect the balance that God has already established.
KEEPING A SWEET ATTITUDE IN DIFFICULT SITUATIONS
Keeping a sweet attitude in difficult situations is not easy. However, it is very important.
Last night, the dish guy didn’t show up to work his shift. My manager made a bunch of calls, but nobody could/would come in.
So, I volunteered. Fortunately, I had only worked at that job for an hour, when my manager pulled me off. “We need you on the floor, serving,” he said. I didn’t argue! I have a lot more appreciation for dish people now.
Sure enough, we were very busy in the dining room, with a lot of guests. The whole evening was like that, until about forty-five minutes before closing time, when we went fairly dead.
Then, there was a massive amount of bussing, out-work, and silverware to do. By the time this sixty-five-year-old body was out the door at 10:20, it was aching from the waist down.
But I think (hope?) that I kept a sweet attitude in all this. That is important for a number of reasons.
A sweet attitude honors the guests. They should be made to feel appreciated, no matter how busy or stressful or chaotic things are for me/us. Who knows what they are going through? Perhaps they’ve recently lost a loved one or a job, maybe they are struggling with depression, or they may have just had a really stressful day themselves. A caring and calm attitude on my part may help turn their evenings around.
A sweet attitude may be helpful to my fellow food service folks. Getting out of sorts with guests, with my coworkers, or myself is dishonoring to those I work with. Just as with our guests, I don’t know what they are struggling with, either. I know my own problems and struggles. I should suspect that my coworkers have their own problems and struggles, which may be far worse than my own little issues.
A sweet attitude honors myself. I feel worse when I become stressed and crabby. Why should I do something that makes me feel even worse?
Finally, keeping a sweet attitude honors God. If God lovingly accepts me as I am, with all my past horrendous sins and crimes against humanity, if God lovingly accepts me now, with all my only-too-real failings, then why shouldn’t my attitude be sweet?
Oh, don’t get me wrong: It isn’t easy. It isn’t for me, and it isn’t for you. Sweet fruit is not native to my personal climate. It probably takes a lot of cultivation and nurturing in your soul-garden as well. The only thing I can do is to continually pray that God will nurture a sweet spirit within me, and expect God to come through. But the desire to have a sweet spirit is at least a beginning.
“Training Because Christ has Already Won the Victory”
A layman who was introducing communion Sunday used the Olympics as an entry point. Since the games are going on in Rio right now, this makes excellent sense.
Sometimes, it isn’t what people say that startle or help. Sometimes, it’s what you hear. Don’t get me wrong: the man made some good observations.
However, as he spoke of the intensity with which Olympians train, it occurred to me that Christians do not train in order to win. Rather, Christians train because Christ has already won!
We are challenged to live a life worthy of the calling with which we have been called (Ephesians 4:1). However, in the first three chapters of Ephesians, Paul had already written of the victory that Christ had already won. First comes Christ’s victory on our behalf; then comes our worthy walk.
We train in order to honor the one who has already won. Do I take this dynamic seriously? What would it mean if I did take it seriously?
For one thing, it would mean that I would relax. There is no pressure! The competition is already completed, and Christ has won! I think it was Hannah Hurnard who said to her Beloved, “Your love has gotten the victory!” Yes!
For another thing, the fact that Christ has won the victory challenges us to always keep training. After all, Christ’s victory has won eternity for us. When should we stop training to be worthy of such a victory? When eternity comes to an end, I suppose.
So, how do I train? What does my training regimen look like?
First, I need to wake every morning, and before my feet hit the floor, I need to confess two things: God in Christ has already won the decisive victory, and today is the day for me to train myself in living a worthy response to this victory.
Second, I need to realize that everything I do (or refuse to do), as well as everything I undergo (or don’t undergo)—all of these are part of my training. My question should never be, “Do I like this?” Rather, I need to ask, “How can I use this to train to become like the One who is my Trainer who has already won the competition?”
Third, I need to remember that following Christ is a team sport. How am I helping other members of the team to improve, to excel? Am I being a good example, encouraging, pushing?
Fourth, at the end of the day, I need to think back on my day and ask, “Have I trained hard today? How can I train harder tomorrow?”
Christ has already won the gold for Team Sinners. It is up to Team Sinners to respond in glad and disciplined grace.
GOD AND SMALL BOYS WILL PROVIDE
“Do you think God is just going to give us buckets of money?”
The above question was posed to me by frugal, hard-working, worried wife.
My wife and I were talking about her admittedly very stressful job, and when she should retire. Retirement is coming soon, but not nearly soon enough. I’m afraid that the decision is nearly as stressful as the job. (No, it probably isn’t! But it is stressful.)
I tend to say that I think God will take care of us, no matter what.
Note carefully how I expressed my “sort-of” faith in the preceding sentence: I tend to say that I think God will take care of us, no matter what. Most of the time, I struggle to trust God, but I talk a good game.
We decided to go to the Cincinnati Nature Center. We have a membership there. Affordable fun, if not cheap thrills. I’m not sure we were prepared to meet God there, but apparently God was prepared to meet us.
As we prepared to walk down to the lake, we passed a dispenser of fish-and-turtle-food pellets. My wife asked if we should buy some. “No,” I said, rather grumpily, “it costs a quarter.”
It was a hot, humid Saturday afternoon, and there weren’t a lot of people there. However, as we walked on the boardwalk around the lake, there was a lady and a little boy—about four years old, I would guess. The little boy had a brown paper bag. The little guy reached into the bag, came over to us, and handed my wife and I one fish-and-turtle-food pellet a piece.
My wife and I were blown away by the little guy’s generosity and thoughtfulness. A few minutes later, he gave us some more pellets. This time, we each had about five pellets to throw in the water for the fish and turtles!
Angels come in all shapes and sizes. A four-year-old boy was a messenger of God to my wife and me today. There were no buckets of money from on high, but a few graciously given food pellets helped us to turn our attitudes around, at least for a little while.
I hope that you (and I) will be on the lookout for God’s messengers today. They come bearing good gifts from the Father of lights.
Questions to Ask Before I say Anything
I am probably the only person who struggles with saying hurtful things, even (especially?) when I am trying to say something nice.
I frequently don’t even understand why the other person was hurt. So, I take refuge in the old dodge, “But I didn’t mean to hurt you!”
That’s a lie sometimes. There are times when I am trying to hurt the other person, but I’m just trying to do it by a stealth attack. Whenever I’m sure I’m innocent, I am almost certainly guilty.
And even when it isn’t a lie, it is not helpful. The question is not, “How did I mean that?” Rather, the question is, “How might the other person interpret that?”
Admittedly, there are some people who routinely take everything as an insult. The best thing I can do when I am around such folks is not to be around such folks.
But what can I do to minimize the madness of unnecessary madness?
I can ask myself certain questions before I speak. Is this true? Is this kind? Is it really necessary to say this? Is this said in the kindest possible manner? How might the other person take this?
I would be a much slower conversationalist if I asked these questions before I said anything. I would also do less harm and more good with my tongue.
Cutting Down Dead Trees
I liked this piece of writing so much that I decided just to give the link to you. I can’t say it better than this guy says it! Thanks, Mark, for sending me this link.
Crank out the chain saws!
Here is the website:
http://myemail.constantcontact.com/A-Note-from-Ben–Felling-Trees-in-Minnesota-and-Racial-Tension.html?soid=1101315250978&aid=kHmis2UrVvI
AS POWERFUL AS I MAKE UP MY MIND TO BE
“I have noticed,” said Abraham Lincoln, “that a man is usually about as happy as he has made up his mind to be.”
I’ve also noticed that I am about as powerful as I make up my mind to be. This is decidedly bad news for me a good deal of the time. To paraphrase an old joke usually attributed to Gracie Allen, I’ve never felt strong, and I still do! (I think the original was, “I’ve never liked you, and I always will.”)
Maybe I need to redefine power. Perhaps even better, perhaps I need to reimagine it.
What is power? How do I imagine it?
Is power the ability to win gold in Olympic swimming events or on the balance beam? Is power being president of the United States—or at least running for that office? Obviously, if I think of power in these ways, I am not powerful. And I will never be powerful.
The truth is that I don’t want to merely be powerful in the ways I just mentioned. No, I want to be all powerful.
Of course, that is one of the attributes of God. God is the One who is described as all-powerful.
Indeed, challenging God’s knowledge (and knowledge is power, right?) was the first temptation. “You will be like God (or gods), knowing . . .” is not just the first temptation. It is the only temptation. Every other specific temptation is merely a variation on that theme.
So, how should I think of power?
Power is the strength to do what I really need to do, as a limited human being, at any given moment.
And what do I need to do at any given moment?
Merely the task at hand!
That task may be mowing the grass (which I already did on a very hot and humid day), doing the laundry (which I am doing now), grading a student’s paper, waiting tables at the restaurant where I work, resting, loving my wife, making final revisions on my PhD thesis, being kind to and patient with people, and so on.
I will have the power to do what I need to do. However, God doesn’t give the power before I need it. There is no savings account or investment portfolio for power.
But if I ask God for the power I need at this moment, and I act based on the assumption that the power will be there, then the power is, in fact, there.
Cultivating Friendship with God
My “Three-Minute Retreat” this morning asked a really good question? “What qualities of human friendship do I practice in my relationship with God?” So, I thought about close friends of mine, and why they are such good friends. Here are some of the things that come to mind. 1. They think the best of me, even when there is massive evidence that they shouldn’t. 2. They sometimes (but not often) speak to me very frankly about ways in which I need to improve. This may seem to be the opposite of what I listed first. It is not! Thinking the best of me means not only thinking of me well in the here and now, but also means thinking of the man that I need to become. Therefore, old-fashioned truth-telling is an important part of friendship. 3. A friend listens intently. 4. A friend takes seriously my own life’s story, but also shares his/her own. Now, God certainly practices all of these qualities toward me and toward all of us. God is the best of all friends on each of these counts! 1. God thinks kindly of me, no matter what I’ve done. 2. God often speaks the truth to me in no uncertain terms—at least, when I can hear the truth. (Often, I refuse to hear.) 3. God listens intently. 4. God takes seriously my own life’s story—the good, the bad, and the ugly. In the Bible, in church history, in the seemingly secular events of the universe, in nature, God is sharing God’s own story with me. But here is the question that I am actually being asked by my anonymous retreat master. I am going to repeat it, emphasizing one word: ““What qualities of human friendship do I practice in my relationship with God?” Could you tell which word I was emphasizing? How do I practice in my developing of a deeper friendship with God? 1. Do I think the best of God, when God does not seem to be present, when God does not give me things which I’m pretty sure would be good for me and for others? Do I call a tornado “an act of God,” but refuse to be grateful for an achingly lovely sunrise or sunset? 2. It might seem that I don’t have to practice the second tenet toward God. After all, God never needs to be corrected! Right? Well, yes, that is right—at least in one sense. However, I do need to speak the truth to God, as I think I see the truth. That is part of what the Scripture shows happening among God’s people. Some of the psalmists—along with the prophet Isaiah—told God to wake up! (See Psalm 7:6; 35:23; 44:23, and Isaiah 51:9ff. for further details.) I can’t (or at least won’t) realize that I am the one who needs to wake up, until I’ve told the God (who never slumbers or sleeps) to wake up. So, yes, I do need to practice the second quality of friendly listening. 3. I need to listen intently to God. Once I’ve had my say (see the preceding section), then I need to be silent and listen. Years ago, I heard or read something like the following: “The question is not, ‘Does God still speak to humans?’ Rather, the question is, ‘Are we listening?’” Yes! 4. Do I take seriously God’s own story? It’s a great story! I believe that the Bible is the true story of God’s friendship with a stubborn stiff-necked people called “Israel.” I also believe that the Bible is God telling me his story of an even more stiff-necked people called “the Church.” Indeed, the Bible tells God’s agonizing story of God’s love for the entire human race. Am I daily practicing these fundamental qualities of friendship, and seeking to deepen my friendship with God? If not, why not? And as an old rabbinic saying goes, “If not now, when?”
DOWN TO EARTH BELIEVER
- DTEB, “Getting Christ and Ourselves Back in Focus” November 11, 2024“Col. 3:1 ¶ If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Col. 3:2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. Col. 3:3 For you have died, and your life is hidden […]
- “Search Me!” October 27, 2024“Psa. 139:23 Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! 24 And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” (Psalm 139:23-24, English Standard Version) I am participating in a Bible study, and this is a prayer […]
- “Christian Speech” October 26, 2024“Eph. 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Foulkes, in his excellent commentary on the Book of Ephesians, writes the following, which I quote at some length: “29. Now the […]
- “God is in the Details” October 11, 2024“The devil is in the details.” (A general saying, often quoted by lawyers, reporters, and negotiators.) “God is in the details.” (Me, almost certainly not original.) “Luke 12:7 Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.” (Jesus) God does not micromanage, but God […]
- “Grandma’s Pump” October 8, 2024When I was a little critter, I would stay at my grandma’s house for a night or two sometimes. I liked this for a lot for many reasons. One thing I liked about staying with her was that Grandma’s house was much more technologically advanced than ours was. For one thing, she had indoor water—sort […]
- “Wearing the #14 Wrong-Side-Out” October 5, 2024Pete Rose, #14, is dead. Many of the old guys with whom I play softball watched him play and appreciated him greatly. I do as well. He was one of the greatest players who ever played the game. Yes, he admitted (eventually) to betting on baseball. But many of us still regard him as one […]
- “Passing Along the Love (and a Link)” October 4, 2024Several years ago, a friend of mine put me onto a daily meditation by Richard Rohr and friends. I don’t read them all the time, but I probably should. They are good! I thought that today’s writing was especially good, and I also figured that this would be a good way to post something. I […]
- “Witnessing Versus Being Witnesses” September 19, 2024“Acts 1:1 In the first book, O Theophilus, I have dealt with all that Jesus began to do and teach, Acts 1:2 until the day when he was taken up, after he had given commands through the Holy Spirit to the apostles whom he had chosen. Acts 1:3 He presented himself alive to them after […]
- “A Bathroom Prayer for Hurting Hands” September 11, 2024A week ago Sunday, my hands were hurting so badly at church that I went to the bathroom to run hot water over my hands. Arthritis perhaps, or carpal tunnel, or general orneriness—I don’t know why my hands hurt, but they do. They have for years. So, while I was running hot water over my […]
- “Waiting and Seeking” September 10, 2024“Lam. 3:19 ¶ Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall! Lam. 3:20 My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. Lam. 3:21 But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: Lam. 3:22 ¶ The steadfast love of the LORD […]
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