Monthly Archives: April 2020

“Whenism”

On April 29, 2020 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

            “This is the day that the LORD has made;

            let us rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24 The Holy Bible, English Standard Version,

https://accordance.bible/link/read/ESVS#Psa._118:24)

I’ve discovered that I have a terrible disease. Now that I have become aware of it, I realize that I’ve probably had it for years. In fact, when I delve deeply into my memory bank, I realize that I’ve had this chronic condition since I was little. Perhaps it was a birth defect. I need to read up on it in that repository of all wisdom—the Internet.

The disease goes by many names, but I prefer the name “whenism.” The condition is characterized by restlessness, unhappiness, and finding fault with everything and everyone.

The symptoms are many, but they can be subsumed under the beginning word “when.” Here are some manifestations of the disease:

  • When I grow up, they won’t pick on me anymore.
  • When I can drive a car, I’ll be independent.
  • When I graduate from high school, I won’t have to read any more of these confounded books!
  • When I get a job, I’ll be happy.
  • When I get a different job, I’ll be happy.
  • When I get a girlfriend, I won’t be lonely.
  • When I get rid of this girlfriend, I’ll be so much happier.
  • When I get married, I won’t struggle with sexual temptation anymore.
  • When we have children, I’ll become less selfish, because I’ll have the little ones to think of.
  • When the kids are potty trained, then life can get back to normal.
  • When the kids are all in school, then life can get back to normal.
  • When the kids graduate from high school, my wife and I can reconnect.
  • When I get divorced, I’ll be happy.
  • When I get remarried, I’ll be happy.
  • When my second wife stops acting like my first wife, I’ll be happy.
  • When I retire I’ll be happy.
  • When I . . .

Well, I think you get the picture. Not all these things are true for me personally. (For example, I’ve only been married once.) However, there are many other symptoms of whenism that I have not listed that do apply to me. But I am not going to post them on the internet, thank you very much!

Now, don’t get me wrong. There are times when sadness, sorrow, and grief are the order of the day, or the order for many days. The loss of a loved one, a serious illness, and many other things are warrants for all sorts feelings. I am not advocating being sunshine every day. The pain needs to be taken seriously.

However, genuine sorrow and grief can easily deepen into whenism, and whenism is a serious disease. Postponed happiness is just another name for misery. For the most part, if I don’t choose to be happy today, right now, I will never be happy.

I conclude with the words from an old Ed Ames song:

“And so, in this moment, with sunlight above,

My cup runneth over with love.”

, , , , ,

“Moving You’re Motivation Muscle”

On April 28, 2020 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

This morning, my virtual 12-step group had as one of its topics, “How to stay motivated in recovery, especially when you’re not.” It is a wonderful topic about a struggle that I have almost all the time.

Of course, it is not just in the arena of addiction-recovery that I struggle with motivation. This is a battle in every area of my life. Let me list a few areas where I am frequently about as motivated as dirty dishwater:

  • Exercise.
  • Eating wisely.
  • Praying.
  • Really good reading.
  • Taking the dog for a walk.
  • Being nice to my wife.
  • Writing posts for this website.
  • Biblical scholarship.
  • Learning Spanish.
  • Sitting straight.
  • Making gratitude lists.
  • Cutting back on my flow of words.

Now, I hate to say it, but this is only a partial list. This is not an isolated thunderstorm in my life. It is a massive hurricane.

However, I have discovered some things that work when I choose to do them. Here is a much shorter list of good practices:

  • I remind myself that motivation isn’t the same thing as feeling motivated.
  • I act on the 12-step slogan “Move a muscle; change a thought.” If I move, doing something that I don’t want to do, the “want-to” often comes along for the ride. My thinking changes when I’m doing what I need to be doing, rather than the other way around. I refuse to be held hostage by my own lack of motivation.
  • I remind myself that every task, ever relationship is always fresh and new. Years ago, I read a quote from an ancient Greek philosopher, Heraclitus: “You never step into the same river twice.” He went on the explain that the water has flowed on, and therefore, it is not the same river. Most of us are motivated when things and relationships are new and fresh. What if we realized that things and relationships are always new and fresh?
  • Doing life/recovery/running/eating wisely (along with anything else) with others is a wonderful way to stay motivated. That’s one of the many reasons why 12-step groups are so powerful. I may not be motivated, but chances are excellent that someone else in the group is motivated. Motivation is contagious.
  • I try to remember (with varying degrees of success) that every little good thing I do brings a smile to God. Apparently, according to Malachi 3:16, even mentioning the LORD or speaking the LORD’s name to others gets recorded in his books, and makes us precious in the sight of God. “Then those who feared the LORD spoke with one another.”  Jesus said that even a cup of cold water given in his name is rewarded (Matthew 10:42).

I’m sure that there are more things that help with motivation, and I hope to hear from some of you about what works for you. However, I need to warn you: The good practices I’ve listed above only work when I actually do them. And I don’t always do them. Far too often, I marinate in my own lack of motivation.

 I am reminded of the old joke about the tourist who was visiting New York city for the first time. He stopped a stranger, and asked, “How do you get to get Carnegie Hall?”

The New Yorker replied, “Practice! Practice! Practice!”

Motivation is a muscle. You have to regularly exercise it if you want it to grow. Neglect it, and it will atrophy more quickly than you can say, “Nah, I don’t feel like doing that.”

, , , , , ,

“What Jesus Gave Up for Us”

On April 27, 2020 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

There are those of us who believe that Jesus was more than a prophet or a great teacher, though we agree that he was certainly those things too. We believe that he was God in the flesh, dying for the sins of the whole world. We frequently think and speak of Jesus as giving up his life for us.

However, we may miss some of the lesser, but still significant, things that Jesus gave up for us. I was reminded of this by a comment made by a gentleman who was part of a virtual Bible study in which my wife and I are participating.

The Bible study is about learning to walk in the same way that Jesus walked. In our first lesson, we were talking about ways in which the New Testament portrays Jesus living out his empowerment by the Holy Spirit, and how we could live in the same manner.

Jeremy, one of the leaders of the group, wondered if Jesus ever missed having a home, being married, having a “regular” life. Was he ever tempted by the lack of these things? I had never thought of the matter in this way, and I immediately thought of this little vignette from the Gospels:

“Now when Jesus saw a crowd around him, he gave orders to go over to the other side. And a scribe came up and said to him, ‘Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go.’ And Jesus said to him, ‘Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.’” (Matthew 8:18–20 The Holy Bible, English Standard Version

https://accordance.bible/link/read/ESVS#Matt._8:18, accessed 04-27-2020)

I had always thought of Jesus as saying the bit about not having a place to lay his head in a very matter-of-fact way. He was simply warning the scribe what following him would involve.

But do I really know Jesus’ tone of voice? I do not! What if Jesus said this in a wistful voice? What if Jesus really would like to have had a regular home? What if Jesus really wanted to be married and have children? We do not make Jesus more divine by eliminating his humanity. We just make Jesus more inaccessible if we do that.

And I said to myself, “I get so excited about the cross, that I forget all the not-so-little crosses that Jesus bore all the time.”

Probably, Jesus wanted to live “a normal life” as much as anyone. But he didn’t. So, if life isn’t normal for you right now, you’re on in exceedingly good company.

, , ,

“The Nearness of Evil and the Nearness of God”

On April 26, 2020 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

            “They draw near who persecute me with evil purpose;

                        they are far from your law.     But you are near, O LORD,

                        and all your commandments are true.”

(Psalm 119:150–151 The Holy Bible, English Standard Version

https://accordance.bible/link/read/ESVS#Psa._119:150)

“Just because you’re paranoid, it doesn’t mean that people really aren’t out to get you.” (Source unknown, but I suspect it is not me.)

Many biblical psalms speak of the psalmist’s enemies. It is not always clear who the psalmists’ enemies are, or why the psalmists had these enemies. It is the same for us.

I suspect that we all have such people, no matter how “nice” we try to be, or how much we try to avoid conflict. Enemies are a fact of life. And we also often do not know why we have such enemies. Was it something we did? Is the problem in them?

But, in Psalm 119, notice that the nearness of enemies is counterbalanced with the nearness of God. No, not counterbalanced! God’s nearness more than counterbalances the nearness of enemies. God’s presence has a way of overcoming our sense of the proximity of anyone or anything that would harm us. This includes covid-19. Yes, it is all around us. Yes, it is even inside of us already. But then, there is the nearness of God.

Yet, Derek Kidner, with his usual terse insightfulness, writes, “Note the realism of the double statement, ‘They draw near … but thou art near.’ The threat is not glossed over; it is put in perspective by a bigger fact.”

We should never gloss over the nearness of our enemies. But the nearness of God is a “bigger fact.” We also should never forget God and God’s commandments, which are true.

What commandment do you and I particularly need to follow today? I do not know. But here is a good one, and one which frequently occurs in the Bible:

Fear not!

, , ,

“Living Microscopically”

On April 24, 2020 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

When I was about eleven or twelve years old, I got a microscope for Christmas. It was amazing to look at a hair or a drop of water under a slide. I had no idea how varied a single hair was! And a drop of water? Don’t even get me started on that! I think that my mom was both intrigued and horrified. We used rainwater to wash clothes and dishes (after it was boiled, I hasten to add).

I was talking on the phone with a friend this morning. He is mourning the loss of a couple of trips that he led for young people. They aren’t going to happen, due to covid-19 fears. After I had allowing him to express his feelings, which are quite appropriate and understandable, I suggested that he might try something that I am doing these days: Perhaps he might try living microscopically. I felt the need to explain.

“These days, when I can’t do external, bigger things, I have been seeking to understand my wife a better. I am challenging her to tell or retell me a story or something else about her.”

“I am also exploring my yard, trying to learn the names of flowers and such.”

When I was young, I used to go exploring. I am old now, but I’m still determined to explore wherever and whatever I can that is good and wholesome. Why should I allow my eleven-year-old self have all the fun?

, , , ,

“Learning to Heel”

On April 23, 2020 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

“And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love” (2 John 6).

I am having a terribly difficult time learning to heel! I should explain.

My frustration with our little dog Laylah has caused me to examine myself. When we go for walks, as we often do these days, Laylah has a tendency to get out in front of me, even when I keep her on a short leash. This would not be a problem, except for the fact that Ms. Laylah has inherited a terrible weakness from her male adopted pet parent: She has attention deficit disorder.  This malady is also known as, “Squirrel! Syndrome.” If my furry little girl sees a squirrel or a bird, or another dog, or blowing leaf or piece of paper, she is off to the races. And she is very fast.

If she cuts to the right side, she threatens to break her own neck, or at least give herself a sore neck. If she cuts to the left side, across my direction of locomotion, she threatens to break my neck, by causing me to have a bad fall. So, teaching her to heel is kind of important, for both her sake and mine.

So, this morning I asked myself why it is so difficult for her to learn to heel. She’s a smart little thing, like my wife, her adopted mamma. The problem is that Laylah is only smart when she decides to be. “Why can’t you learn this?” I said to Laylah, rather reproachfully this morning. She looked at me with fearful humility, and, for two or three seconds, she stayed back. However, before I could say, “Thanks for letting me lead,” she wasn’t—letting me lead, that is.

So, I tried to think like a canine. I don’t know if I succeeded, or that God spoke though me to Laylah. But I do know that God spoke through Laylah to me.

For one thing, Laylah just gets distracted. I’m not so sure that ADD is the proper name for the disorder.  Perhaps it should be called Attention Distraction Disorder. ADD people and dogs don’t have a deficit of attention. We just find ourselves distracted from where we need to direct our attention. And let’s face it. Focusing on obedience isn’t the easiest thing to do, no matter what species we are.

Maybe Laylah’s priorities get messed up. The immediate gratification of chasing a squirrel or a blowing leaf seems so much more important than whatever this hulking giant on the end of her leash wants her to do. Of course, dogs do not have a corner on the immediate gratification market.

But the basic problem is that Laylah wants to be the alpha dog. She may only weigh 7 ½ pounds, but that doesn’t keep her from wanting to be the big dog.

Now, I don’t think that I need to spend a lot of time unpacking these lessons for you and me. We speak of following God or Jesus. That is certainly an appropriate way of speaking. However, sometimes we get distracted, and forget who is on the other end of the leash.

And then there’s the problem of immediate gratification. In fact, I think it is so common that we should turn this expression into a blend word—“immediafication”!

However, the most serious problem is our desire to be the ALPHA DOG. The all caps are not an accident. This is a problem because, no matter what fine people we may be, we all make lousy gods. When we don’t follow God/Jesus, when we try to run ahead, we get ourselves into a mess in a hurry. Unfortunately (or is it so unfortunate, really?), God moves very slowly, and we are very quick. In fact, we are entirely too quick.

Learning to heel is not easy, but it is tremendously important. Perhaps I owe Laylah an apology. I’m sure that I need to ask God to forgive me. And no doubt I need to set a better example for my dog and for my two-legged friends as well.

, , , , ,

“What is Normal, and Should We Go Back to It?”

On April 22, 2020 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

I hear a lot of people saying, “When can we get back to normal?”  I have often wondered about that myself.  This morning, however, another, very unwelcome question barged into my mind before I could lock the door.  Actually, the question had a traveling companion, which also invaded this morning.

The first question was, “What is normal, anyway?’  And the second was, “Should we really go back there?”

What is normal?  It sounds like a simple question, with an even simpler answer.  But is it?  Who defines normal?  Were we living normal lives three months ago?  And, of course, not everybody was deliriously happy three months ago, I assume.  I am reminded of the saying, often attributed to Will Rogers, that “the good old days ain’t so good anymore.  And they probably never were.”

Perhaps the “normal times” (in America) since World War 2 were not so normal after all.  Perhaps the normal times were an aberration.  Many people thought that the good times would just keep getting better—or at least that the good times were normal and would stay with us.  On what did we base such an assumption?  And then there is the problem that “normal” is not the same for me as it is for my African American friend.

The second question is just as disturbing as the question about what normal is.  It is the question, “Should we go back to normal, even if we can?”  I may just be in an extra-curmudgeonly mood today, but were we really all that normal three months ago?  Perhaps this virus is an opportunity, both for us as individuals and us as a nation, to reflect on whether we were living as we ought.  While I agree that we need to stop (or at least slow down) this deadly disease and (when it is safe) speed up our economy, I question whether “restart” is the best word to use.  Maybe we need to do a major overhaul in our individual and collective lives.

The Bible, particularly the Old Testament prophets and Jesus Christ, did not seem to want the nation or individuals to go back to normal.  Rather, they said that the nation and individuals needed to repent and return to God.  Not to Trump, not to the Republicans, not to the Democrats, not to business as usual.  TO GOD!

Until we return to God, returning to normal won’t solve our deepest problems.  I am reminded of a Christian friend who said many years ago, ‘The status quo is just Latin for “the mess we’re in.’”

“The Freedom to Be Unhappy”

On April 21, 2020 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

I am reading a book for review that is entitled, Reading with Feeling: Affect Theory and the Bible.[1]  It is a very thought-provoking collection of articles about how to read the Bible in a way that takes feelings seriously.

While it is a good book, sometimes it provokes my thinking, and sometimes it simply provokes me.  However, I often need to be provoked.

I just finished reading a chapter entitled “Prophecy and the Problem of Happiness: The Case of Jonah,” by Rhiannon Graybill.[2]  Graybill argues that we need to take seriously Jonah’s unhappiness at God for sparing Nineveh.  While many readers fault Jonah for his unhappiness, Graybill argues for Jonah’s “freedom to be unhappy.”  She thinks of God as coercive in attempting to deal with Jonah’s unhappiness.

I agree that we must take seriously our own unhappiness and the unhappiness of others.  I also agree that unhappiness can provide an incentive for hope and change.  These are very important points in a society (and in churches) that has made a fetish of a very superficial approach to happiness.

However, my disagreement with Graybill’s approach is with one thing that she seems to me to be explicitly saying, and another thing that I think her approach implies.

First, I am not sure that God’s approach should be described as “coercive,” as Graybill states.  God provides some object lessons and asks some questions.  If this is coercive, it is a fairly open-ended brand of coercion.

Okay, the big storm and the big fish were pretty coercive, I grant.  Perhaps some coercion is a good thing.  Anyone who has ever tried to get a three-year-old to go to bed might recognize that simply letting a child marinate in their own unhappiness might not be the best approach.  The same is true for adults, I suspect.

But the Book of Jonah does not end with the storm and the fish.  It ends with object lessons and questions from God.  Jonah does not answer.  Apparently, God is willing to leave Jonah (and readers of the book) the freedom to be unhappy.

That brings me to my second disagreement with Graybill’s excellent article.  She seems to me to be implying that it is okay to let people continue in their own unhappiness.  Yes, we are indeed free to be unhappy, and we need to give others the freedom to be unhappy.  But is this really the best use of our freedom?

It may well be the best use of freedom—in the short time.  However, as a long-term strategy it isn’t.  That is unhappiness isn’t a long-term strategy.

Now, I need to come clean.  I am reading Graybill’s reading of Jonah from my own autobiography.  I have struggled with depression for most of my life.  If I am alive today, it is because of support from my generally even-dispositioned wife, friends, and two specific insights.  One of the insights is from a book, and the other, from a friend.

Years ago, when I was struggling with profound unhappiness, I read a book entitled Happiness is a Choice.  The title made me even more deeply unhappy, if that was possible at the time.  And yet, I continued to read.  Eventually, the book began to make some sense to me.  I have found that this statement, “Happiness is a choice,” has become a mantra for me.  It has frequently headed me away from the brink of suicide.

A second deeply helpful insight was shared many years ago by a friend after a Bible study I had led.  Mike Young said, “I think that you have more joy than you know.”  That was said to me in about 1990.  I have lost touch with Mike, and I doubt that he ever knew what a profound influence that statement had on me.  The fact that I remember it some thirty years later is a powerful and non-coercive reminder to me that I don’t need to take my unhappiness with ultimate seriousness.  Seriously, yes!  Ultimately, no.

[1] Fiona C. Black and Jennifer L. Koosed, editors, Reading with Feeling: Affect Theory and the Bible, Semeia Studies 95 (Atlanta: SBL Press, 2019).

[2] Ibid., 95-112.

, , , , ,

“Lacking What I Have”

On April 20, 2020 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

I bet I know what you’re thinking, if you paid attention to the title of this post.  I bet you think it was a misprint.  “Your title for this post is strange, Down-to-Earth-Believer!  Don’t you mean to say, ‘Lacking What I Don’t Have’?  I mean, if you have it (whatever “it” is), then you don’t lack it.  And if you lack it, you obviously don’t have it.  Explain yourself and your title!”

Okay, I will explain myself.  But it gets ugly in a hurry.

My meditation today is based on the “3-Minute Retreat” from Loyola Publishing.  You can access the meditation for free at https://www.loyolapress.com/retreats/what-do-you-lack-start-retreat/.  Here is the entire biblical story upon which the retreat is based:

“And as he was setting out on his journey, a man ran up and knelt before him and asked him, ‘Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?’ And Jesus said to him, ‘Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone. You know the commandments: ‘Do not murder, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and mother.’ And he said to him, ‘Teacher, all these I have kept from my youth.’ And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, ‘You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.’ Disheartened by the saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions. And Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, ‘How difficult it will be for those who have wealth to enter the kingdom of God!’ And the disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said to them again, ‘Children, how difficult it is to enter the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.’ And they were exceedingly astonished, and said to him, ‘Then who can be saved?’ Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God.’”

(Mark 10:17–31 The Holy Bible, English Standard Version

https://accordance.bible/link/read/ESVS#Mark_10:17-27)

Now, whenever I encounter this story, I encounter myself.  And I don’t like to encounter myself.  No, I don’t.  This story asks me a question that I don’t like, because I already know the answer.  The question is this: What do I have that is really a liability and a lack?  And I like the answer even less than I like the question.

As part of today’s “3-Minute Retreat,” the retreat master/writer made the following comments:

“Initially in this story, the rich young man affirms his devotion to following the Ten Commandments. Jesus shows his love for the rich young man by challenging him to not just follow the Commandments but to become a disciple, allowing his love of God to be more important than anything in the world. We, too, are meant to keep the Ten Commandments. We are also called to conversion, turning our whole lives over to God by following the teachings of Jesus Christ and by serving others.”

Notice the equation of “conversion” with “turning our whole lives over to God.”  This begins with an initial decision and prayer to God, but this “conversion,” this “turning our whole lives over to God” is an ongoing process.  I believe that you have to begin somewhere, but if you stay where you begin, you haven’t really begun.  You’re just stuck.

Notice that, in the story about the rich young ruler, what he lacked was not what he did not have.  No!  It was what he did have that revealed his lack.  A good question for me to ask when I feel that I lack something, is this: “What do I have that is causing my lack?”  And at that point, with God’s help, I need to give that up.  I need to give it up to God, and give it to others, whenever possible.

I heard or read somewhere a story about an unexpected windfall that needed to be given up.  I’ve probably scrambled some of the details, but here it is, as best I can remember it:

It was during the Great Depression (the twentieth century one, not the current one that we may be going into).  A poor couple with a young daughter or two received an unexpected check in the mail.  It wasn’t all that big, but it certainly seemed so to them.  The daughter could hear her parents arguing about how to spend the money.  She was worried.  She had never heard her parents argue like this before.  Then she heard two things.  First, she heard silence.  And then, there was hearty laughter.  She was sent out to buy a lot of ice cream.  When she returned, all her neighbors were crowded into her parents’ small house, and every bowl her mom had was sitting out.  They spent the entire check on ice cream for the community.  And her mom and dad were happy again.

I wonder what windfall you and I have that we could turn into an ice cream social?  Let’s not let what we have be our lack!

, , , ,

“Is God Allergic to You?”

On April 18, 2020 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

Some of us may feel as if God is allergic to us. Yes, I often feel that way myself.

A friend of me did an online post in which he noted that his rescue cats, once their new master had earned their trust, would climb in his lap and purr contentedly.  My friend concluded with a challenge to his readers to trust our Heavenly Master who has rescued us, and to be contented with what God gives us.

Contentment doesn’t come easily for me.  Sometimes, it doesn’t come at all.  I needed to hear about my friend and his cats.  And, of course, I can never hear too much about God’s provisions.

One of the comments from a reader of my friend’s post was, “I’m allergic to cats.  I sure hope God isn’t allergic to me!”  My feline mind immediately jumped off the lap, and began to play with the notion of God being allergic to us.

There are some theologians who say that God is so holy that he can’t stand human sins, that God is, as it were, allergic to human wrongdoings.  Perhaps they are right.  I know that these thinkers are trying to safeguard the holiness of God, and also point out the deadly seriousness of sin.  Points well taken!

However, this doesn’t mean that God is allergic to either sin or to us.  According to the writer of the Gospel of John, Jesus was God who had come in the flesh.  According to the New Testament, Jesus was God crawling into small, nasty cages to rescue us.  Some of us bit him a lot in the process.  He knew that we didn’t know any better.

And, according to all the Gospel writers, Jesus seems to have hung around with sinners.  Good thing.  We all are sinners—especially those of us who are pretty sure we’re not especially sinful sinners.

So, if God isn’t allergic to us, and if he is a most trustworthy of Rescuers and Masters, we should probably crawl up on God’s lap and purr contentedly.  Don’t worry: It’s a big lap.  There’s plenty of room.

, , , , ,
Follow on Feedly