Monthly Archives: October 2020
“The Lame Blame Game”
“Blame must be assigned, and it wasn’t me.” (A 12-step friend about how his family handled wrong-doing.)
“The woman, whom you gave to be with me, she gave it to me! (And I ate it.)” (Genesis 3:12: Adam, the first man, when God confronted him about his disobedience.)
Blaming others is our national sport right now. Perhaps it always was. We see it (and do it) daily. It is practiced by small children and old people, by men and women, by religious people and by irreligious.
But in reality, blame is really lame. By using the word “lame,” I mean this: Just like a person who can’t use his legs, blame can’t go anywhere.
Don’t get me wrong. Acknowledging the role of others and ourselves in creating problems can be helpful. Confronting others and ourselves when they/we’ve done wrong can be healthy. Cleaning house is not done by merely throwing things in the closet or shoving them under the bed.
However, blame doesn’t simply acknowledge or confront wrong. Blame contents itself with continuing to talk about the wrong of others or of self. Yet, at the same time, blame refuses to do anything to change what’s wrong.
Of course, it’s easy to see the stupidity and uselessness of other people blaming other people (or circumstances or God) for why things aren’t the way we think they ought to be. Seeing that we ourselves are playing the blame game is not so easy. No! Of course, we aren’t blaming. We’re telling the truth about why things are as they are.
Really?
Even blaming ourselves isn’t wise or helpful. That is a truth that I struggle with every day. When I’ve done something wrong—or not done something that I should have done—I tend to go on and on about my failures. But here is the deal: I’ve discovered that continually blaming myself is so much easier than doing something positive to make my own life and the life of others better. But blame is still lame.
In twelve-step programs, steps 10 and 11 seem to me to flow rather naturally.
Step 10: “Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.”
Step 11: “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with a power greater than ourselves, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.”
The antidote to the lame blame game is to acknowledge our wrongdoing, and then turn to God and seek to discern God’s will for us. And then, we do God’s will. It’s as simple as that. It is also as difficult as that.
“Reflecting my Heavenly Father on a Down Day”
“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.” (Matthew 5:14, English Standard Version)
“Today, as God helps me, I am a living reflection of my Heavenly Father.” (My twelve-step affirmation this morning)
But I don’t feel much like the light of the world or a living reflection of God this morning. There are reasons.
- My wife left and will be gone for a day-and-a-half.
- It is cool and rainy.
- The daylight hours are short.
- My favorite brother-in-law has covid-19.
- My hands hurt it (arthritis?) so badly that I can hardly type or hold my coffee cup.
- I am worried about the upcoming election and its aftermath.
- Today is the first anniversary of the closing of CCU, where I taught for eleven years.
- I am trying to change my relationship with food. (That is a very positive thing, but difficult, nonetheless.)
But I refuse to do anything to make a difficult day worse. I refuse to think harmful thoughts toward myself or anyone else. I refuse to eat a bunch of junk food. That would make me feel a little better for a little while, but it would also cause me to feel a lot worse in a little while.
Instead, I do positive things, no matter how I feel.
- I take and make 12-step calls and text friends.
- I make myself a cup of vanilla caramel tea and drink it out of a butterfly meadow cup.
- I read some good Scriptures (no Ecclesiastes today, thank you very much!) and other good readings as well.
- I take good care of our little dog, who is a wonderful companion.
- I send a text to my wife about what I’m feeling. (She texts right back with the most encouraging text I’ve ever received from anyone.)
- I listen to a TobyMac c.d.
- I turn on virtually every light we have on the lower level of our Cape Cod.
- I write this blog post and publish it.
I will reflect God’s love and grace no matter how I feel on this or any other day.
“The Lust to Get Back to Normal”
“To be human is to exist, not in stasis or equilibrium: only fossils do that.”[1]
“‘Normal’ is just the name of a town in Illinois.” (Source unknown)
We all want—or even long—to get back to normal. Yes, I do too. However, let me ask you, as well as myself, several questions.
- What is normal?
- Why do we want to go back to it?
- Is our normal “normal” (or perhaps better, our usual normal) a private reality/construct, or a societal reality/construct? If reality is a societal or relational reality, which society or relationships are we talking about?
- If we are Christians, is normal even a possibility for us? As believers, we are called to be counter-cultural. Have we forgotten this?
Cornelius Plantinga wrote a book titled Not the Way It’s Supposed to Be: A Breviary of Sin.[2] I’ve only dipped into the book, but I love the title. Those of us who try to take the Bible seriously recognize that our world has not been “normal” since Genesis 3:6.
And one more question: Was our normal, whether it was individual, familial, or societal, really ever all that normal? I suspect that, for many of us, good memories are primarily a result of bad memory.
As a believer, indeed as a human, it seems to me that there is something better than “getting back to normal.” It is making the day, this day, better. And we can do that, no matter how abnormal our days are or seem to be. Making this day better appears to me to be infinitely better than lusting after a normal which probably was pretty messed up anyway.
[1] Anthony J. Griffiths, Courage and Conviction: Unpretentious Christianity (Collegeville: Liturgical Press, 2018), 180.
[2] Cornelius Plantinga, Not the Way It’s Supposed to Be: A Breviary of Sin (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1995).
“My Eating Addiction: Playing the Short Game”
“The one who keeps the law is a son with understanding, but a companion of gluttons shames his father.” (Proverbs 28:7, English Standard Version)
“Help my friend to savor his food, because savoring is the opposite of gluttony.” (A friend who prayed with and for me over the phone.)
I was blindsided by the second half of the verse. What!?! You mean to tell me that the opposite of keeping God’s Law, God’s Instruction, is gluttony?! That can’t possibly be right!
So, I checked it out in Hebrew. Yep! That does seem to be what it says. How dismaying.
I see now, as I have seen before, that my eating addiction is, in many ways, even more serious than my other addictions—even more serious than my “major” addiction. Food (particularly sweets) was likely my original gateway drug. For sure now, overeating tends to lead my mind in directions that I know it should not go. So, I have to stop thinking that this is not a serious matter. It is.
I can’t change my eating attitudes and behaviors for the rest of my life, or even, for the rest of this day. What I can do is to change my attitudes and behaviors for the next little while. Being a serialist writer of good, short stories about my life is my best shot at making a big difference in my life. And these short stories are not written with a pen or a keyboard, but with consistent attitudes and actions.
What story will you write today, dear reader?
“In Praise of Gruggles”
What, you ask, are “gruggles”?!
“Gruggles” is a word I made up in conjunction with a friend who may or may not want to share the birthing of such a bizarre word. “Gruggles” is a blend word. It’s a bit like “smog” (smoke + fog), or “staycation” (stay + vacation). “Gruggles” is a word that combines the idea of growth with the idea of struggles.” Hence, “gruggles”!
My friend and I were talking about how we have the same issues that we deal with over time. I used the word “struggles”, but he preferred the word “growth”. So, I took it on myself to coin the word gruggles.
I suspect that all growth is related to struggles. I wish that there was a way we could simply go to bed and grow, and maybe there is. However, I haven’t yet discovered it. (God knows I’ve tried!)
I thought about quoting a lot of Bible verses at this point in the post, but do I really need to do that? Common sense and our experience repeats this truth over and over. The only thing that doesn’t take struggle of one kind or another is death.
No struggle; no growth. Thank God for gruggles!
“Nibbling our Way to Lostness”
Psa. 119:10 “With my whole heart I seek you;
let me not wander from your commandments!” (English Standard Version)
How do you get lost? Sorry to ask such a personal question, but I’m curious as to whether I’m the only one who gets off the right path little by little.
Oh, don’t get me wrong. I can also go into what a friend of mine called, “a premeditated backslide.” Absolutely, I can!
But more often, I deviate from the right path ever so slightly. The problem is that, once I get off the path, it is so easy to keep going.
Psalm 119 exudes an intense desire to stay on the path that God has marked out. The psalm is filled with words of love for God’s words and commands, as well as motivations for obeying those words and commands. “With my whole heart I seek you . . .” (the first half of verse 10) is typical.
However, the second half of verse ten recognizes a distressing truth. The psalmist prays that he may not wander from the truth. We humans do not generally pray for something that is a slam dunk. Apparently, wandering is always an option.
Victor P. Hamilton, my beloved undergrad Old Testament professor, notes that the Hebrew root translated “wander” in verse 10 “. . . is used to describe how sheep got lost (Ezek 34:6). They simply nibble their way to lostness.”[1]
A question I need to ask myself often is “Am I nibbling myself to lostness?” I have a track record of doing that. Sometimes, the nibbling is literal. Eating just a little more than I need, and I’ve gained fifteen pounds. Not all at once, of course. I was just nibbling!
Tolerating evil thoughts. But of course, I was just nibbling. Judging others is one of my current hot-button nibbles. I struggle with this, even though I am well aware that Jesus said “Don’t!” Oh, come on! Just a little nibble of the botulinum toxin won’t hurt.
Watching/reading/listening to too much news and depressing myself is one of my current drugs of choice. But of course, I was just nibbling. (This is an incredibly now issue. I was tempted to check the internet to see what stupid things we were doing or plotting to do to one another currently. I decided to finish writing this post instead. Good decision!)
In his book, The Screwtape Letters,C. S. Lewis noted that “Indeed the safest road to Hell is the gradual one–the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.”
Don’t nibble yourself to death today. I’ll try to avoid that as well.
[1] Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament, volume 2, page 904.
DTEB, “Fair—and Merciful—Weights and Measures”
As I was out walking the dog and listening to my You Version Bible on my smart phone this morning, I was struck by the following verse:
Prov. 11:1 “A false balance is an abomination to the LORD,
but a just weight is his delight.” (English Standard Version)
I was even more struck with a rather personal extended application of the verse to my own sometimes judgmental attitude. I did not like the application, but I no doubt needed it.
False weights and measures are, in the literal sense, an economic issue. Here is what Kidner says concerning the matter: “The Law (Lev. 19:35f.), the Prophets (Mic. 6:1f.) and the Wisdom Writings (see also 20:10, 23) agree in condemning dishonesty primarily for God’s sake. For the same reason we are encouraged to give not only in full but to overflowing (Luke 6:35, 38). See also 16:11 . . . .” Christine Roy Yoder comments that, of eleven things that are listed as abominations of Yahweh in the book of Proverbs, three of them involve unjust weights and measures.[1] (See also Amos 8:5; and Micah 6:10-11.)
However, the figurative meaning of this saying was what I especially needed and didn’t like. I felt that God was asking me about my tendency to want mercy for me, but judgment for others. Isn’t that having different weights and measures? Other people’s wrongdoing is heavier and more than mine, surely! And, of course, my motivations are always pure, whereas the motivations of other people are often suspect.
I was hoping that I had misheard God’s Spirit, but was pretty well certain that I had not. When I looked up Luke 6:35-38 (to which Kidner referred, as already noted), all doubt was removed.
“Luke 6:36 “Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.
Luke 6:37 “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; 38 give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”
Notice how Jesus intensifies this business of a fair “measure.” We are not simply to be just. Rather, we are to be merciful and generous. In fact, this merciful measure doesn’t stop with not being judgmental. No! Jesus calls his disciples to forgive!
And since I need a lot of mercy and forgiveness, I need to extend a lot of mercy and forgiveness to others. Measure for measure! The same standards of mercy for others that I need for myself.
Man, do I ever have a lot of work to do!
[1] Christine Roy Yoder, Proverbs, Abingdon Old Testament Commentaries (Nashville: Abingdon, 2009), 130.
DOWN TO EARTH BELIEVER
- DTEB, “Getting Christ and Ourselves Back in Focus” November 11, 2024“Col. 3:1 ¶ If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Col. 3:2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. Col. 3:3 For you have died, and your life is hidden […]
- “Search Me!” October 27, 2024“Psa. 139:23 Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! 24 And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” (Psalm 139:23-24, English Standard Version) I am participating in a Bible study, and this is a prayer […]
- “Christian Speech” October 26, 2024“Eph. 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Foulkes, in his excellent commentary on the Book of Ephesians, writes the following, which I quote at some length: “29. Now the […]
- “God is in the Details” October 11, 2024“The devil is in the details.” (A general saying, often quoted by lawyers, reporters, and negotiators.) “God is in the details.” (Me, almost certainly not original.) “Luke 12:7 Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.” (Jesus) God does not micromanage, but God […]
- “Grandma’s Pump” October 8, 2024When I was a little critter, I would stay at my grandma’s house for a night or two sometimes. I liked this for a lot for many reasons. One thing I liked about staying with her was that Grandma’s house was much more technologically advanced than ours was. For one thing, she had indoor water—sort […]
- “Wearing the #14 Wrong-Side-Out” October 5, 2024Pete Rose, #14, is dead. Many of the old guys with whom I play softball watched him play and appreciated him greatly. I do as well. He was one of the greatest players who ever played the game. Yes, he admitted (eventually) to betting on baseball. But many of us still regard him as one […]
- “Passing Along the Love (and a Link)” October 4, 2024Several years ago, a friend of mine put me onto a daily meditation by Richard Rohr and friends. I don’t read them all the time, but I probably should. They are good! I thought that today’s writing was especially good, and I also figured that this would be a good way to post something. I […]
- “Witnessing Versus Being Witnesses” September 19, 2024“Acts 1:1 In the first book, O Theophilus, I have dealt with all that Jesus began to do and teach, Acts 1:2 until the day when he was taken up, after he had given commands through the Holy Spirit to the apostles whom he had chosen. Acts 1:3 He presented himself alive to them after […]
- “A Bathroom Prayer for Hurting Hands” September 11, 2024A week ago Sunday, my hands were hurting so badly at church that I went to the bathroom to run hot water over my hands. Arthritis perhaps, or carpal tunnel, or general orneriness—I don’t know why my hands hurt, but they do. They have for years. So, while I was running hot water over my […]
- “Waiting and Seeking” September 10, 2024“Lam. 3:19 ¶ Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall! Lam. 3:20 My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. Lam. 3:21 But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: Lam. 3:22 ¶ The steadfast love of the LORD […]
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