Monthly Archives: November 2022

“Being the Kind of Person I’d Like to be Around”

My sponsee in one of my 12-step groups often invites me into some of my best thinking and living. Here is a quote from him in his report from last night: “I’m the kind of person I’d like to be around.” What wonderful statement! What a wonderful reality!

Of course, there are people who like to be around really bad people. You can see the first verse of Psalm 1 for the kind of people who are not so good to be around. There is some truth in the old saying that “a man is known by the company he keeps.”

However, I suspect most people want to hang out with kind, loving, thoughtful people. However, to be like that ourselves is a lot trickier and more difficult. It sounds like sacrifice and hard work. It sounds like that because it is.

We had four children, and they were just fine. But one of the first words that each one of them learned was not “mamma” or “daddy,” but “MINE!” Some of us are not just born “miners”. We live and die as “miners”.

So, here is an affirmation and prayer for this or any day: “Today, by God’s grace, I am and am becoming the kind of good person I’d like to be around.”

“Doing What I Ought and What I like?”

The following quote is from C.S. Lewis, in his book The Screwtape Letters, a fictional collection of letters between a senior tempter (Screwtape) and his student/understudy (Wormwood). While fictional, I suspect that the book is filled with truth. Their “patient” is a Christian man who is dimly aware that his spiritual state is not what it ought to be, but he doesn’t want to face that reality. Here, Screwtape is giving advice to the junior tempter.

As the uneasiness and his reluctance to face it cut him off more and more from all real happiness, and as habit renders the pleasures of vanity and excitement and flippancy at once less pleasant and harder to forgo (for that is what habit fortunately does to a pleasure) you will find that anything or nothing is sufficient to attract his wandering attention. You no longer need a good book, which he really likes, to keep him from his prayers or his work or his sleep; a column of advertisements in yesterday’s paper will do. You can make him waste his time not only in conversation he enjoys with people whom he likes but also in conversations with those he cares nothing about, on subjects that bore him. You can make him do nothing at all for long periods. You can keep him up late at night, not roistering, but staring at a dead fire in a cold room. All the healthy and outgoing activities which we want him to avoid can be inhibited and nothing given in return, so that at last he may say, as one of my own patients said on his arrival down here, “I now see that I spent most of my life in doing neither what I ought nor what I liked.”

Lewis’ unspoken thesis is that, ultimately what a person truly, deeply likes is also what he ought to be doing. As exhibit A, I would bring forth my wife. She truly and deeply likes many things. I am one of those things, but just one. She also likes the following, most of which also benefits me greatly:

  • Cooking and baking.
  • Getting nice, thoughtful gifts for others.
  • Working with ladies who are pregnant and in need of some help.
  • Growing beautiful flowers.

This is only a partial list, but it gives you some insight into why I love her more every day. Even if (God forbid!) she should suddenly cease to be able to do all or any of these things, I would cherish the memory of her doing them. I believe that God would remember them and cherish them infinitely more.

Exhibit B: My Ph. D. advisor, Dr. David Firth. I connected with him at the annual Society of Biblical Literature meeting in Denver this week, and I asked me how he had accomplished so much as a scholar. I can scarcely think of an Old Testament book that he hasn’t reviewed. The first thing that he said was something to the effect that a Bible scholar and teacher is something that he is, not simply something that he does. God has called him to be and to do this work. He enjoys his work for the most part, and he puts in from 50-55 hours a week in his studies and teaching.

All of us have something that God has called us to be and to do. It will probably be what we like to do, at least most of the time. Originally, the title of this post was “Doing What We Like or What We Ought.” But ul timately, in a well-lived life, what we are is what we will do, and we will do what we like.

“The Empowering Presence”

11Now the angel of the LORD came and sat under the terebinth at Ophrah, which belonged to Joash the Abiezrite, while his son Gideon was beating out wheat in the winepress to hide it from the Midianites. 12 And the angel of the LORD appeared to him and said to him, “The LORD is with you, O mighty man of valor.” 13 And Gideon said to him, “Please, my lord, if the LORD is with us, why then has all this happened to us? And where are all his wonderful deeds that our fathers recounted to us, saying, ‘Did not the LORD bring us up from Egypt?’ But now the LORD has forsaken us and given us into the hand of Midian.” 14 And the LORD turned to him and said, “Go in this might of yours and save Israel from the hand of Midian; do not I send you?” 15 And he said to him, “Please, Lord, how can I save Israel? Behold, my clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father’s house.” 16 And the LORD said to him, “But I will be with you, and you shall strike the Midianites as one man.” (Judges 6:11-16, English Standard Version)

Sometimes I like to have a soak in the tub. It feels good to my back and various other parts of my anatomy. We were staying in a Comfort Inn last night. They do have a handrail in the tub/shower, but it is not low enough for me to grab hold of. So there I was. I enjoy a soak in the tub now and then, but I don’t really want to spend the rest of my life there.

So, I did whatever any non-self-respecting man would do: I called my wife to come and help. She walked in the bathroom and moved my smartphone. I immediately got up on my own and got out of the tub. My wife’s mere presence wasn’t so mere. Her presence empowered me to do what I couldn’t seem to do seconds earlier. I was stunned.

At a time when the Israelites were being severely oppressed by the Midianites, Gideon was called to deliver the Israelites. To say that Gideon was not filled with self-confidence would be quite the understatement. Gideon asked “. . . how can I . . . ?”

And God answered, “. . . But I will be with you . . . .” The presence of God would be enough. The presence of others in our life is very empowering. How much more the presence of God?

“Domination or Steady Steps?”

“Keep steady my steps according to your promise,

and let no iniquity get dominion over me.” (Psalm 119:133, English Standard Version)

I am free to sin, but when I sin, I am no longer free. The Bible often speaks of sin as a form of bondage. In Psalm 119:133, the psalmist does not use the common word for “to rule.” Instead, it is a word used for exercising absolute authority over someone. Sin doesn’t just “get dominion over me.” Sin dominates. I don’t like being dominated.

How do I avoid being dominated by my own not-so-free choices? The psalmist hints—or more than hints—that prayer is one aspect of how to avoid being dominated. Notice that verse 133, like much of Psalm 119 (and much of the entire book of Psalms), is prayer. I can get captivated and dominated by all kinds of sins on my own, but I can only escape from such slavery by calling on God. But here is the problem: I don’t like asking for help, not even from God, but I need to do that on an incredibly regular basis.

Another other way to be free from domination is by establishing or keeping my steps in accordance with God’s promise. The life of faith is not a life of avoidance, not even of avoiding sin. The life of faith is a journey in which we put one foot in front of the other in the direction of God and love. And even here, especially here, we also need God to establish our steps.

Or, as my sponsor often reminds me, JKDTNRT: Just Keep Doing The Next Right Thing.

My prayers for me and for you is that we would live free, with God-ordered steps, just for today.

“From Thanksgiving to Thanks-Living”

“As I learn your righteous regulations, I will thank you by living as I should!” (Psalm 119:7, New Living Translation)

A friend gave me a wonderful phrase the other day. He spoke of “. . . moving from thanksgiving to thanks-living.”

I immediately thought of Psalm 119:7. (It took me a while to find the exact reference and the translation, but I’m nothing if not dogged about certain things.)

Unfortunately, the New Living Translation is more of a loose paraphrase than a strict translation at times.  The English Standard Version translates more strictly,

“I will praise you with an upright heart,

when I learn your righteous rules.”

Still, considering the context of Psalm 119 and the sweep of the rest of the Bible, it is true enough to say that praise is—or ought to be—connected with how we live our lives. As for learning God’s righteous rules, the Bible indicates that learning is never for the sake of learning. Rather, we learn in order to do.

In other words, it is not enough to give thanks. We need to learn to live thanks. How do we, how do I, learn to do that? I am still learning, but here is the current state of my pilgrimage.

First, I try to remember (and increasingly, I do remember) that I have received, am receiving, and will continue to receive so many wonderful things. I am grateful for them, but I also realize that part of being thankful is being generous with others. This generosity is part of doing a better job of thanks-living. God didn’t give me so many blessings, materially, relationally, spiritually, for me to be a hoarder of them.

Second, I remember that, while even God appreciates the words “Thank you,” God also appreciates and deserves my down-and-dirty daily obedience. God not only makes the rules; God is the ruler! And a good one, God is! His rules are infinitely good as the Ruler is.

I’ve used a lot of words in this post in order to simply echo what Jesus said, when he said that the most important command is to love God and to love others. That’s how to consistently move from thanksgiving to thanksliving.

“Loving Discipline Is Not Torture”

“Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge,

but he who hates reproof is stupid.” (Proverbs 12:1, English Standard Version)

“For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews 12:11, English Standard Version)

We usually think of “loving discipline” as discipline that is motivated by love and done in love. Our take on this phrase emphasizes the source and intentions of the one doing the disciplining. However, Proverbs 12:1 flips the script, and emphasizes that the one who is receiving the discipline needs to love it if that person wants to expand his/her knowledge.

However, I do not love discipline.  I think that this is because I often take discipline as criticism and correction as a summary statement about my character. That is not the best way to use such gifts.

Derek Kidner, in his usual terse way, comments, “If you think yourself above criticism, you are not worth it. Cf. verse 15.” I want to be worthy of criticism and discipline, even if they are not exactly the same thing.

I am trying to learn to love discipline. At least, I am trying to learn to love its results. The author of Hebrews, in the second quote that leads off this post, acknowledges that God’s discipline is a pain. Sometimes, it even feels as if God is a pain. However, God’s discipline leads to good results. I try to remember that. God’s discipline is done because God loves us, not to torture us.

When my oldest son was in the second grade, it seemed as if he got in trouble at school or on the school bus every day. The principal and I were on a first-name basis. At the end of the year, my son’s report card came in the mail. It was really good . . . except for behavior.

So, my son and I had a little chat. I was determined to start off positively, so I noted how good almost all of his grades were. “But then, there is behavior,” I said. “What do you think we should do to improve that?” I asked.

When he saw that I was really interested in a response from him, he said, “Well, maybe we could try some loving discipline.”

“Well, that might work I replied.” After all, what we were presently doing was not working. But I wanted to know what “loving discipline” might look like to my son.

His reply was as follows: “We could talk about it, and if there is really something to it, you could say, ‘Don’t do that again.’”

“Do you think that would work?” I responded.

“Well, maybe,” said my son. And then he added, “And we can always go back to torture.”

DTEB, “Continually (Re)Setting Our Mind to Him”

“Col. 3:1   If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. 3 For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

Col. 3:5   Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. 6 On account of these the wrath of God is coming. 7 In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. 8 But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. 9 Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. 11 Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.

Col. 3:12   Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (Colossians 3:1-17, English Standard Version)

A mindset can be a habitual way of thinking about God, ourselves, other people, or the universe. However, a mindset needs to be frequently updated and renewed. And, of course, sometimes certain mindsets need to be abandoned. In any case, a mindset does not necessarily mean that our minds are set in concrete.

Paul, in his letter to the Colossians, reminds believers that their minds should be on Jesus Christ. This might suggest that their minds had a tendency to wander off in other directions. Wandering minds: I’m sure glad that my mind never wanders! (If you think that I was speaking ironically, let me remove any doubt. I was indeed!)

Paul uses a present tense Greek verb in verse 2. The present tense in Greek usually suggests some kind of continual, regular, or repeated action. “Continually set your minds on the things in Heaven, on Christ.”

Now, I can’t speak for you, but for me, I am always having to reset my mindset. Why? Because my mind keeps coming unset. Perhaps some people are able to set a course and stay the course, but I suspect that even those people need a lot of midcourse corrections.

How does a body go about changing their mindset for the better? I wish I knew. However, I’ll give you a few of my suspicions.

Suspicion #1: Prayer is one way to renew an appropriate, healthy mindset. Prayer means both speaking and listening to God. This helps me to reset my mindset.

Suspicion #2: God’s Word in the Bible can and does help me to reset my mindset frequently. The stories and teachings often bring me up short. They make me realize that I am often not simply missing the boat. I am on a boat heading the wrong direction.

Suspicion # 3: Other people help me to realize when my mindset is needing renewed or corrected. This includes my church, my 12-step friends and other friends, and my wife.

A final thought. When I do it, it helps me to have a better mindset if I begin the day and end the day by reminding myself what is really important: loving God and loving people. As they say, this is not rocket science. But simple is not the same thing as easy. I heard of a not-so-new convert to Christ who was reported to have said, “The problem with the Christian life is that it is so daily!” She was right.

DTEB, “Get Your Glow On!”

Psa. 34:0         Of David, when he changed his behavior before Abimelech, so that he drove him out, and he went away.

Psa. 34:1         I will bless the LORD at all times;

                        his praise shall continually be in my mouth.

2           My soul makes its boast in the LORD;

                        let the humble hear and be glad.

3           Oh, magnify the LORD with me,

                        and let us exalt his name together!

Psa. 34:4         I sought the LORD, and he answered me

                        and delivered me from all my fears.

5           Those who look to him are radiant,

                        and their faces shall never be ashamed.

6           This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him

                        and saved him out of all his troubles.

7           The angel of the LORD encamps

                        around those who fear him, and delivers them.

Psa. 34:8         Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good!

                        Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!

9           Oh, fear the LORD, you his saints,

                        for those who fear him have no lack!

10         The young lions suffer want and hunger;

                        but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.

Psa. 34:11       Come, O children, listen to me;

                        I will teach you the fear of the LORD.

12         What man is there who desires life

                        and loves many days, that he may see good?

13         Keep your tongue from evil

                        and your lips from speaking deceit.

14         Turn away from evil and do good;

                        seek peace and pursue it.

Psa. 34:15       The eyes of the LORD are toward the righteous

                        and his ears toward their cry.

16         The face of the LORD is against those who do evil,

                        to cut off the memory of them from the earth.

17         When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears

                        and delivers them out of all their troubles.

18         The LORD is near to the brokenhearted

                        and saves the crushed in spirit.

Psa. 34:19       Many are the afflictions of the righteous,

                        but the LORD delivers him out of them all.

20         He keeps all his bones;

                        not one of them is broken.

21         Affliction will slay the wicked,

                        and those who hate the righteous will be condemned.

22         The LORD redeems the life of his servants;

                        none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned.” (Psalm 34, English Standard Version)

The verses for today in the YouVersion app are Psalm 34:4-5. I was especially struck by the words,

“I sought the LORD, and he answered me

            and delivered me from all my fears.

5           Those who look to him are radiant, . . . .”

From fears to a radiant face—oh my!

I suppose we all radiate something. Some people can walk into a room, and it seems as if someone turned off a light. Some of us radiate misery.

And then, there are the others. When my wife smiles or gives me a tender look, she radiates joy and kindness.

One of the many good results of trusting God is that our faces become radiant. The story is told about that Moses that, when he came out of the tent of meeting from being with God, Moses’ face was shining. Well, yeah!

Today, I am spending some time with God. Got to get my glow on!

“Fasting from Politics”

I am resisting the urge (temptation?) to look at online news or listen to NPR in order to find out if “my” candidates won. I’m pretty sure they didn’t. I can get myself all worked up about politics these days, but is that really a good use of my time?

How should I be using my time? Writing, loving my wife, taking care of our little dog, cleaning, yard work, preparing to teach and teaching, taking good care of my body, helping others—these are the things that deserve my time and attention. I spend entirely too much time editing my fellow citizens. Of course, I don’t like it when they try to edit me.

I was at a dinner where one of the guys at my table launched into an impassioned rant (is there any other kind?) about politics. He ended with, “And anybody who voted for ___________ is either sick or on welfare!”

I had had enough, and responded, “Well, I’m neither sick nor on welfare, but I voted for __________.” I fear that the gentleman at my table still suspects that I am either sick or on welfare. Perhaps both.

So, today is a politics fasting day. I am focusing on what I can do, as I am and where I am. I’ll let God and the politicians take care of the big stuff. God can and ultimately will take care of the truly big stuff. Politicians of either party? Not so sure.

“God’s Nevertheless of Love”

At some point, we all have to say either “therefore” or “nevertheless.” “Therefore” is usually the easiest conclusion. Sometimes it is the best one, but not always.

A person treats us badly. We can say, “Therefore, I am treating them badly.” Or we simply write them out of the script of our lives.

On the other hand, we could acknowledge the bad treatment, but choose to say, “Nevertheless, I’m not so sure that they are usually that way. Maybe they’re just having a bad day.”

Now, I believe that there is a time for drawing some logical, protective conclusions for ourselves and those we love. I am not a fan of staying in long-term abusive relationships. Unless there is a good chance of change and a process for change—a process that the other person is working on a daily basis—a firm “therefore” might involve leaving a relationship, getting a restraining order, or any number of other “therefores”. Love does not involve being a stubborn idiot.

However, I am increasingly aware that we jump to the logical therefore way too quickly. People can and do change. In fact, I will hazard the statement that people can’t stay the same. Of course, not everyone changes for the better. We all know people who don’t just get older. They also get more-so. That more-so is not always a good more-so, either.

In the Old Testament of the Bible, we are told and shown two things repeatedly. The first is that God remained lovingly faithful to Israel. The second is that Israel rarely responded to God’s loving faithfulness with love and faith and loving obedience. Sometimes, God did say, “Therefore, I have given you into the hands of your enemies.” At the very least, God gave them over to the consequences of their own thoughts, words, and actions. Israel, at this point, is a metaphor for all peoples of all times and each of us individually.

More often, God says, “Nevertheless . . .” to Israel. He did not give up on them. God doesn’t give up on us either.

Turning to the New Testament, God bares his heart to the human race through Jesus Christ. Jesus is God’s decisive Nevertheless.

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