Monthly Archives: January 2023

“We Are All One of Us”

On January 7, 2023 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

I heard someone say the other day that a certain politician only thought in terms of blaming “them”. I do not think that this politician is alone. Indeed, he has tapped into a deep vein of human stupidity.

Thinking in terms of us and them categories is as ancient as the human race. In fact, it may not even be peculiar to homo sapiens. Wolves are not kind to other wolves who are not in their pack.

However, the fact that something is ancient or widespread doesn’t make it either inevitable or right. Perhaps we should all think about how to move beyond our us versus them thinking. But how could we do that? I don’t know, but I have some suspicions. And where knowledge is lacking, suspicion must do.

Maybe the first thing I can do is to ask a simple question: What am I getting out of my us-and-them categories. This simple question has at least two simple answers, neither of which I like.

One of the things that I get out of us versus them thinking is an easy sense of belonging. What I mean by this is that, if there is an outside group, there is also an inside group. And if we are not part of the outsiders, we must be insiders. We belong!

There is nothing wrong with wanting to belong. We are each unique beings, but we long to be part of something bigger than ourselves. It is the word “easy” in the phrase “an easy sense of belonging” that is the problem. Anything that is too easy is almost certainly not a healthy thing. Like the second piece of apple pie, easy belonging is only easy in the short term.

Something else that us-them thinking does for me is that it gives me someone besides myself to blame. Having someone else to blame is great fun because it exempts me from the profoundly uncomfortable process of acknowledging my own problems and doing something about them. If the problem is “out there”, I can complain about my chosen “them” rather than change myself. In other words, us and them is a form of laziness—or, at least, it is an excuse for laziness.

After I’ve done the difficult task of wrestling with the question of what I get out of my us-and-them-ism, I can get down to the really serious question. Which is what? I suppose that this question has many forms, but I would phrase it this way: Is there really any such thing as us and them?

The answer is, at one and the same time, an emphatic “Yes!” and an equally emphatic “No!”

Yes, we are all unique individuals, and we are part of unique configurations. Whether that configuration is a family, a race, a religion, a socio-economic class, or something else, us-and-them categories are real. To deny this flies in the face of the facts.

Yet the answer is also “No!” Here is the truth: We are all born. We all some basic needs: air to breathe, water, food, shelter, companionship, a sense of purpose and significance. We all eventually die. To say that we have nothing in common is to reveal that we are not simply blind, but also fools.

So, whenever we are tempted to fall into the us-versus-them trap, we had better get back to the basics: breathing, eating, and such. After all, we are all one of us.

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“When Somebody Else’s Golf Cart Ends up in the Ditch”

On January 3, 2023 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

Somebody’s golf cart ended up in the ditch a while back. Several people commented on Facebook that, “he shouldn’t have had that much to drink.” Turns out that the guy had a seizure. Respect means, among other things, putting the best possible construction on other people’s words and actions.

I am not naïve. I have lived long enough to realize that some people really do stupid and/or harmful things. People also have bad (or at least, mixed) motives. That’s all true. But I have also lived long enough to learn that my evaluations of other people are frequently wildly wrong.

Even if we are right about a person’s motivation, we are not right to think the worst of them. Such thinking, even when it is technically correct, is wrong. Why? Two reasons: It makes them less likely to change for the better at the same time that it makes us less kind and compassionate. The last time I checked, kindness and compassion were important character traits.

Jim, our preacher this past Sunday, said “It is more important to be kind than to be right.”

And then, there is this. Eventually, we all end up with our golf cart (or our hearts) in the ditch. And none of us want other people to think the worst of us, even if they’re right.

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“No ‘Oh-You-Agains’ in God”

On January 2, 2023 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

Have you ever gone to someone for help and had them give you an “Oh, you again?!”? Eye rolls are optional, but often present. This person has helped you before, but figures you ought to know what to do for yourself by now.

And maybe we should know by now, but we don’t. Or perhaps we simply can’t do certain things on our own, even if we know how. We need help.

Some of us grew up with parents who were oh-you-again-ers. We began to feel stupid and incompetent almost before we could walk. It is difficult living with folks who are reluctant to help. Eventually, we quit asking.

Worse yet, we are in danger of becoming our parents. Perhaps we become good at something and forget all the not-so-good steps along the way. Novices come to us for help, but we have become eye-rolling oh-you-again-ers.

And worst of all, we begin to think that God is part of the oh-you-again-er tribe. We mess up and refuse to come to God with our mess-ups because we are afraid. Like Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, we hide from God. Yet only God can forgive us and restore us.

Jesus said, “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom” (Luke 12:32, English Standard Version). James says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him” (James 1:5). I suspect that, if James were asked if God would reproach us for asking for other good things, James would look at us incredulously and exclaim, “What!” In fact, James, later in the same letter, tells his readers that they don’t have what they really need, simply because they don’t ask or because they ask with wrong motives (James 4:1-10). If we ask for the wrong things or ask with evil motives, God is under no obligation to give those things to us, In fact, it would be cruel of God to give us those things when we are asking in that way.

But the bottom line is this: God is pleased when we ask for God’s help. God knows that we are weak, foolish, erratic people who need a boatload of help. I was reading some wisdom from an American Indian website (White Bison) this morning and was helped by the following statement:

“if we practice this for awhile, our thought life will be different. It helps if in the morning we ask God to direct our thinking. God loves to help us.
Great Spirit, today, direct my thinking so my choices are chosen by You.”

We have a God who loves to help us. There are no oh-you-agains in God. Now that is good news indeed!

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“The Word of the Year: Respect”

On January 1, 2023 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

As many of you know, I have for several years been taking a word or short phrase as my mantra for the year. This year’s word is “respect”.

Actually, I checked to see how many times in the past I had written about respect in one way or another on this website. My search turned up 36 times that I had used the word “respect” as one of my tags. Apparently, respect is important to me. I suspect that I am not alone in this respect.

Respect has a lot of different aspects. Here is a short list:

  • Respect for God.
  • Respect for other people.
  • Respect for myself.
  • Respect for time—my own time and that of others.
  • Respect for all sentient beings.
  • Respect for immaterial things, including the planet.

We sometimes speak of “simple respect”. Perhaps respect is fairly simple to understand. Consistently speaking and acting in a respectful manner is not so simple, however. But, as with many things, respect is a muscle. It can atrophy, but it can also be toned up with use. I plan to work on this muscle in the year 2023.

So, expect some more posts (not all, thankfully) about respect in the year 2023. The post for tomorrow will deal with one of the words that the Hebrew Bible/Old Testament uses for honor or respect. For now, I leave you with the following quote from Antoine de Saint-Exupery:

“I have no right, by anything I do or say, to demean a human being in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him; it is what he thinks of himself. To undermine a man’s self-respect is a sin.”

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