I was struggling with my runaway mind this morning. Not unusual, but very uncomfortable. I’ve discovered that there are some things that work to counter that tendency. One that I wrote about a few days ago is replacing not-so-good thoughts with better ones. That works well, except when it doesn’t.
Another is moving a muscle. We have the saying in twelve-step work, “Move a muscle, change a thought.” So, I went to our local park to hit softballs off a tee and walk. It helped a little, but the intruding thoughts regrouped and attacked again.
Of course, there is always prayer. That, unfortunately, is usually the last resort for this deeply flawed Christ-follower. I am reminded of a comment I read years ago. A lady was talking with her friend about her problems and ended by saying—with an air of resignation bordering on despair— “I guess we’ll just have to pray and trust God.”
Her friend replied, “Oh dear, has it come to that?!”
Bottom line: It would probably be better if I prayed and trusted God first, but I don’t always do that.
Well, anyway, I prayed. And just then, as I was beginning my walk, I saw a friend on the path whom I had not seen for quite a while. Bill and I talked. I mentioned being attacked by my own thoughts, and he mentioned his struggles with feelings of not having much of a purpose. We had both just prayed for God’s help, and there we were, walking together.
Now, of course, the whole thing could have been a coincidence. However, I’ve heard it said that what we call “coincidences” are God’s appointments.
Could be, you know! Pay attention to the so-called coincidences in your day. You might be encountering God in them.
Mal. 1:2 “I have loved you,” says the LORD. But you say, “How have you loved us?” “Is not Esau Jacob’s brother?” declares the LORD. “Yet I have loved Jacob 3 but Esau I have hated. I have laid waste his hill country and left his heritage to jackals of the desert.” 4 If Edom says, “We are shattered but we will rebuild the ruins,” the LORD of hosts says, “They may build, but I will tear down, and they will be called ‘the wicked country,’ and ‘the people with whom the LORD is angry forever.’” 5 Your own eyes shall see this, and you shall say, “Great is the LORD beyond the border of Israel!”
This passage seems to reveal something nasty about God. God has loved Israel/Judah and hated Esau/Edom. There are many other Scriptures like that, but I suspect we’re missing two very important things.
First, the Bible often communicates by exaggeration. This is not just true for the Old Testament. According to the New Testament, Jesus said that we are to hate our father and mother (Luke 14:26). He also said that, if our eye causes us to sin, we should pluck our eye out and throw it away. I’ve not found many people who refuse to acknowledge that Jesus was communicating by exaggeration in these instances.
So, what is going on in Malachi, I suspect, is this: God is saying how much he loves Judah by contrasting the fate of the neighboring nation of Edom. Both Judah and Edom had been decimated by the wars and political intrigues of that time, but—speaking comparatively and in an exaggerated fashion—God had loved Judah and hated Edom.
Of course, part of Edom’s problem was of their own making. If we are honest, most of our problems, individually and collectively, are of our making. Or, at least, we tend to make the problems worse than they need to be by our own continued bad choices. In Edom’s case, they were determined to rebuild their ruined cities. Not a bad thing, but the way in which they state their determination sounds more than a bit arrogant. For anyone, Judah, Edom, or America, it is still true that pride goes before a fall. Rebuilding ruins on pride ruins everything.
There is a second thing about Malachi 1:2-5 that we often overlook: the main point. And what is that main point? I suspect it may be summarized like this. God assured Israel/Judah of God’s love. The shot back with an eye-rolling “Really?!” Their response sounds more like an accusation than a question? God says to them, “You think you’ve got it bad? You don’t! Take one look at your neighbor, Edom, and you’ll see that. You are still in existence. Edom is, effectively, not.”
I heard of a guy who got up every morning, picked up the newspaper, and turned to the obituaries. He said, “If I don’t read my name there, I make my coffee and get on with my day.” Hopefully that gentleman was grateful as he enjoyed his coffee and got on with his day.
I don’t know what God’s musical favorites are, but I wonder if he likes the title, “I Beg Your Pardon: I Never Promised You a Rose Garden”!
“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.
Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.” (1 Peter 2:9-10, English Standard Version)
Do you sometimes feel like a nobody who needs mercy but doesn’t necessarily qualify for it? Well, you’re not as alone as you might think you are.
The author of the letter we know as 1 Peter in the New Testament reminds these Christ-followers who they were and who they are. Peter is not so much impressed with the people to whom he is writing, as he is impressed with what God had done and was continuing to do in their lives. He reminds them that they were, in fact, nobodies who had not received mercy. But God had turned them into somebodies who could and did receive mercy.
And everybody needs mercy, don’t we? And everybody needs to feel that we are somebody.
Let me be very frank. I’ve been around Christians for a very long time. Christians are not inherently nice or interesting or impressive. What we are is forgiven. And maybe that’s enough.
I like to play slow-pitch softball, but I am not hitting well these days. I think I know what the problem is: I swing before the pitch is there. Needless to say (but of course I will say it anyway), it is very difficult to hit a ball that’s not there.
Waiting in general is not my best activity. I am a very impatient person. And yet, almost everything has as one of its components waiting. Waiting for vegetables in the garden to ripen, waiting for dinner to be ready, waiting on red lights while I’m driving. The waiting list is very long.
In the Old Testament, there are many verses that speak of waiting on God. Here is one of those verses:
“Wait for the LORD;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the LORD!”
Apparently, it takes strength and courage to wait on God. But why do we have to wait in the first place? Why doesn’t give us what we need and want right now?
I suppose there are many possible reasons why we need to wait. Maybe, just maybe, God’s timing is better than ours. The fact that we think we need or want something right now doesn’t mean that we, in fact, do need that something right now.
Also, there is an old saying that you don’t hear often in our on-demand-one-click world: “What we gain too easily we esteem to lightly.” Perhaps God’s delays are designed to help us better appreciate what he is doing in our lives.
But the truth—or at least my truth—is this. I don’t know why God sometimes delays things. And frankly, I don’t like it. Perhaps the psalmist had to repeat the words “wait on the LORD” because we/I did not hear the words the first time.
Be that as it may, I need to learn wait on the pitch, especially if God is the pitcher.
One of our church pastors who had not preached before spoke for the morning service. He was very good! Nothing against our regular preacher who is also very good! One of the things that I liked about our speaker this morning is the fact that he seemed to have read my blog post yesterday. Just joking. I doubt very seriously that he had read my post, but he certainly confirmed some things I’ve been struggling with and thinking here of late.
His sermon was based on Romans 7, a passage in which Paul writes about an intense internal struggle. He speaks as if he is a man who wants to do what is right and good, but it is impossible to pull it off. Every person I’ve ever known very well (if they are honest) admit to being involved in such a personal civil war. Anybody who has ever tried to eat more wisely will be familiar with this.
Our guest speaker, said that if we simply focus on the problem of the bad things, all we get is more badness. Yes!
Our speaker also made a radical suggestion: Look to Jesus! And that really is a radical thing to do. Here’s the deal: We all want to do “it”—no matter what “it” is—by ourselves. Even those of us who believe that Jesus came into the world to save sinners seem to think that, once we have made our initial commitment to Jesus, we’re on our own. We probably wouldn’t actually admit that, but our lives reflect the fact that this is what we actually believe. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Almost fifty years ago, I said “I do” to the most wonderful person on the planet. What if I had awakened the morning after and said, “That was a good commitment ceremony we went through last night. Now, I am going to do this marriage thing without you.” That would be way beyond stupid, wouldn’t it?
And yet, that is sometimes how we approach the Christian faith. To paraphrase something that a friend said many years ago, “It is very difficult to live the Christian faith without Christ.”
It’s not difficult. It’s impossible.
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” (Philippians 4:8, English Standard Version)
I sometimes struggle with inappropriate and unhealthy thoughts of various flavors. When I’m doing that, I often get trapped into trying not to think those thoughts. This is always a mistake. It has long been known that you can’t not think about something. The classic example is the pink polka-dot elephant. If someone tells you not to think about a pink polka-dot elephant, suddenly your whole mental universe seems to be populated with brightly colored pachyderms.
So, why is that, even knowing this, I so often get caught in these hellish mental echo chambers? It occurred to me just this afternoon that I am often telling myself that I should be able to not think unhealthy thoughts. In other words, I am struggling with pride, not just unhealthy thoughts. And the more I struggle with pride and my thought life, the less I have to be proud of. Awareness of what is going on in my (sometimes) crazy brain is a good thing. Focusing on these thoughts is not.
I wonder if the Apostle Paul was driving at this very thing when he wrote the words that lead off this post. Perhaps the Philippian believers were thinking unhealthy thoughts and then getting even sicker as they tried not to think about unhealthy thoughts. It is certainly possible. It may not always be the case, but I suspect that, as a general rule, if Paul said that believers ought to do something, it was because they weren’t doing that particular something. Perhaps the folks to whom Paul is writing this letter was struggling with focusing their mind on the wrong things.
We have a saying in twelve-step programs that what you resist persists. I think I’ll try peaceful non-resistance with my own mind. After all, nobody really wins a civil war with his or her own mind.
The Book of Malachi is the last book in the Old Testament for Christians. For Jews, the book closes out the prophets. It is one of the most neglected books in the Bible. There are many reasons for this, I suppose. It is not a long book (only 54 verses). While this might recommend it to some of us, others might say, “Oh well, it’s short. Why bother?” Malachi is not as dramatic as many of the prophets. While many of the prophets are fireworks, Malachi comes across as something of a damp squib. There is no narrative in the book, no story. There are no miracles.
However, I am coming to love the book more and more. For one thing, I am coming to value its dialogical nature. Malachi is a conversation, a conversation between God and humans, with Malachi representing God, but also giving voice to what God’s people are saying—or at least what God’s people are thinking.
But even though I am coming to love Malachi, I still don’t like it. Here’s why: Malachi is incredibly meddlesome. The prophet meddles with people’s money, marriages, motivations, and mirages. That last part is not merely chosen for the sake of alliteration. The people had this mirage (this fantasy, if you prefer) that they were being ill-treated by their God. They were alive enough to complain, but they thought they had it really bad. Here are a couple of examples of the back-and-forth between God (through the prophet Malachi) and the people:
“I have loved you,” says the LORD. But you say, “How have you loved us?” (Mal. 1:2)
“Mal. 1:6 ¶ “A son honors his father, and a servant his master. If then I am a father, where is my honor? And if I am a master, where is my fear? says the LORD of hosts to you, O priests, who despise my name. But you say, ‘How have we despised your name?’
Mal. 1:7 By offering polluted food upon my altar. But you say, ‘How have we polluted you?’ By saying that the LORD’S table may be despised.”
Now it must be acknowledged that life in Judea during the time of Malachi’s prophecy was no box of chocolates. Some of the people had returned from the Babylonian exile after the Persians conquered the Babylonians. However, Judah had no king. They were a small, minor part of one province of the vast Persian Empire. The temple had been rebuilt, but it was tiny and drab compared to the temple built by Solomon. No, life was not easy.
But they were alive and did have a temple. They had some money. In fact, they had enough money to decide whether to give some for the upkeep of the temple and the sustenance of the priests. Yet many of the people and the priests were chronically dissatisfied. They had become a bunch of whiny malcontents who blamed someone else—even God—for all their real and imagined woes. Of course, nothing was the result of their own bad choices. They were being victimized by their own feeling of being victimized.
Does this sound more than a bit familiar? Does it sound a bit like America right now? It does to me! A demonic spirit of grievance has gripped our nation. We play the victim, even though many of us have incredible resources.
I was standing in a long line waiting to go into a very nice restaurant in Sarasota. A man whom I did not know was complaining about inflation and blaming it all on President Biden. I don’t always agree with President Biden either. However, here were these two old guys standing in a long line, about to make our own contribution to inflation with our consumer spending. And what were we doing? Complaining about inflation!
I wonder what Malachi would say to us. Would he change much? I doubt it. He would say, “You think you have it hard? You don’t even know what having it hard would look like.”
God and God’s grace doesn’t make things easy. God and God’s grace does make things possible. God and God’s grace can help us to praise God and do the next right thing, even when things aren’t how we would like to have them.
I learn a lot from my little dog, Laylah. After a meal, especially breakfast, she likes to jump up in the chair I was sitting in and curl up in a ball. However, sometimes she’s a little premature. The other morning, for example, my little dog misgauged my departure from the breakfast table. I left, but only to warm up my coffee. When I came back, she was in my chair. She looked very sheepish, even for a dog, but didn’t offer to get up. After staring at her smiling for a little while, I went around the table to another chair. Immediately, Laylah jumped off my chair and came around the table to sit on my lap.
“I think she is more interested in you than your chair,” my wife observed.
That set me to thinking, as most things do. I thought of a possible analogy to God. Of course, most things set me to thinking, especially about God and our relationship to God.
The same Hebrew word is used for “chair” or “seat” and “throne” in the Old Testament. The context of particular Scripture will help to determine the translation. The word even applies to God’s throne.
Now, I don’t think that my little dog thinks I’m God—just the alpha dog. Still . . .
There are times when I wonder if I want God or God’s seat. To ask the question another way, do I want to sit on the throne and be God? Of course, I would respond with a suitably humble answer. Of course, God is God and God is on the throne!
Buy then there is the way I live. Do I really want God, or do I want to be God? I want to make my own decisions, to be my own man. On the other hand, I do make quite a mess of my life when I play at being God.
Yes, I can learn a lot from my little dog!
I have an important non-financial question: How is your bank account? No, it really is not a financial question. It is a question about whether you are investing in loving God, yourself, others, your dog and/or cat—whoever and whatever you get to love in a healthy manner today.
I wrote to a friend the other day the following words: “Dear ________,
Your hard work on yourself is not only a way of loving yourself now. It is also a way to put resources into your love banking account for later. Recovery is a no-lose activity!
What deposits will you and I make in our love accounts today?
Daryl”
Of course, this banking metaphor is hugely inadequate. Banking is transactional. Loving is so much more than merely transactional.
However, even if loving is more than a transaction, loving does include transactions. I need to be sure that I have put enough love into the relationship and into the world to be able to take out what I need. When I was young and about to go out on a date, my dad would always ask me if I had enough money, and he would always say the same thing. “You don’t want to be financially embarrassed.”
Dad was right to ask the question, but I have another question for myself and you: Are we going to be lovingly embarrassed today? Let’s all make more and bigger deposits than withdrawals today. Deal?
Last evening, I was pulling out of my parking space after a twelve-step meeting and getting ready to head home. A couple of other young people (college age, I suppose) were getting out of a car. One of them was already out and juggling some objects that looked like bowling pins. Not just juggling; juggling quite well.
I wasn’t in a hurry, and I’ve always wanted to learn to juggle. My attempts have been pretty pathetic and very intermittent. I stopped and rolled down my window for a chat. “Well done!” I exclaimed. “I’ve always wanted to learn to juggle, but I’m afraid that I’ve never gotten the hang of it. I’ve failed.”
The young person smiled and said, “Engaging with the activity is success, even if you fail.”
Ironically, my affirmation for the day was as follows:
“Today, by God’s grace, I am eating wisely, exercising, and working on my studies, the house, and the flower beds with a thankful heart. I refuse to be morose, even when I mess up.”
It is amazing how things come together like that, isn’t it? Some people call it “synchronicity”, but no matter what you call it, it is a strange and wonderful thing to experience.
But back to the main point of this post: I have never had a high tolerance for failure. On the other hand, failure is the only way to learn and grow and (eventually) succeed, at least some of the time. But this wise young person had reframed the whole matter of failure and success for me. Engaging with something or someone in a healthy and respectful manner is itself success.
I think I am going to learn how to juggle.
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