Monthly Archives: August 2024

“For Sharon on Our Fifty-First Wedding Anniversary”

On August 4, 2024 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

“You’re more likely to be diligent about something if you love doing it. The etymology of diligent reflects the fact that affection can lead to energetic effort.” (https://www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day/diligent-2020-01-28, accessed 08-04-24)

Today, my bride and I celebrate fifty-one years of marriage. I do not love her as much as I did on August 4, 1973. I love her so much more. And as special as our fiftieth anniversary was, the fifty-first is even more so. In fact, every day is a wonderful day to celebrate this wonderful lady of mine.

However, I love words. They are so much easier for me to craft than actually being consistently present, kind and loving toward my sweetheart. So, I’ve decided that I am not going to merely give you some sweet words. I am going to give you some useful actions, actions based on diligence.

I just learned today that there is a likely connection between love and diligence. Apparently, the Latin-based word “diligence” was one of the Latin words that could be used for “loving”. This was a strange thought for me. I had always considered diligence as a synonym for “grinding it out,” for sticking with a difficult or unpleasant task. Diligence as a component of love? Oh my, that changes everything!

So, here is my anniversary present for my beloved Sharon: diligence. I will be diligent in being present for you and with you. I will be diligent in being grateful to and for you. I will be diligent in helping with the laundry and doing the dishes. I will be diligent in pulling weeds out of our garden and flower beds. I will be diligent in taking good care of our little (dog) girl Laylah. I will be diligent in allowing you to finish your sentences. I will be diligent in figuring out what forms of diligence are especially important to you.

This is the year for loving diligence and diligent love.

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“Stop Watching Yourself Live!”

On August 2, 2024 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

“Contemplation often makes life miserable. We should act more, think less, and stop watching ourselves live.” (Nicolas Chamfort)

Ҧ But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.

For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror.

For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like.

But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.” (James 1:22-25, English Standard Version)

Sometimes, I find myself observing my life instead of living it. Don’t get me wrong. Observation and contemplation have their proper place in the world and in my life. On the other hand, my 12-step sponsor often reminds me “JKDTNRT,” which is text-speak for “Just keep doing the next right thing.”

But I struggle with this a lot. I recently found myself convinced that I should stop overthinking things. However, I soon discovered that I was overthinking overthinking. (Think about it, but not too much!)

A website that I sometimes visit is associated with “The Center for Action and Contemplation.” It seems somehow significant that action comes first. In a sense, action is the raw material for contemplation. Without action, our contemplation is merely daydreaming.

James reminds us that faith without works is like contemplating ourselves in a mirror. It may show us who we are, at least briefly. However, it doesn’t change who we are. While we are human beings and not human doings, it is only be doing the right things in the right way that we become truly human. I need to remind myself daily to stop watching myself live. At the end of most 12-step meetings, we say, “Keep coming back! It works if you work it and give a lot of love.”

Amen to that!

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