“Giving Ourselves What We Deserve”
My wife went out to run some errands yesterday. One errand was to return some clothes that did not quite work for her. She called me a couple of hours after she had left, and sounded rather frustrated and apologetic. I don’t remember the exact conversation, but it went something like this. “I haven’t gotten anything done,” she said. “I’ve just wasted time trying on a bunch of clothes. Do you want me just to come home and fix dinner?” She knows that I like to eat dinner early, whereas she doesn’t really care what time she eats.
Now, you must realize that my wife is not a compulsive shopper. Quite the contrary! She buys what she needs if it’s on sale or on the clearance rack, and then makes it last a long, long time.
So, it wasn’t really being a stellar husband for me to be a little nice. “Just go ahead and do your other errands, and we’ll eat whenever you get home.” Even though, given my wife’s nature and style, it wasn’t a big thing for me to be a little kind, it was a big thing for me to do. Hey! Lighten up on me! I’m a beginner at being thoughtful!
So, this morning, I read the following words from Melody Beattie’s book The Language of Letting Go:
“Wednesday, May 8
Giving Ourselves What We Deserve
‘I worked at a good job, making a decent salary. I had been recovering for
years. Each morning, I got into my car and I thanked God for the car. The
heater didn’t work. And the chance of the car not starting was almost as great
as the chance that it would. I just kept suffering through and thanking God.
One day, it occurred to me that there was absolutely no good reason I couldn’t
buy myself a new car – that moment – if I wanted one. I had been gratitudeing
myself into unnecessary deprivation and martyrdom. I bought the new car – that
day.
—Anonymous’ ”
It is good to be grateful for what we have. However, there are times when we deprive ourselves when there is no good reason. This is especially true of us addicts. We know that we don’t dare go for immediate gratification. We know that gratitude for what we have—and even what we don’t have—is extremely important.
However, as addicts, we also tend to turn every good thing into an addiction. Some of us get addicted to deprivation. Perhaps there should be a twelve-step group called “D.A.” This would stand for “Deprivation Anonymous.”
The Apostle Paul has a wonderful little instruction for Timothy, and indeed for all of us. He says,
“17 As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy.
18 They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share,
19 thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life.” (1 Timothy 6:17-19, English Standard Version)
Yes, we are to trust God. Yes, we are to be generous with others. But did you catch a couple of words at the end of verse 16? Let me highlight them for you. “. . . God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy.” Not abuse, not hoard, but enjoy!
I hope that you enjoy your day!
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