“KEEPING THINGS FRESH”
A friend proposed a wonderful topic the other day in my 12-step meeting: how to keep recovery fresh. As with anything else, those of us who are in recovery from addiction can (and sometimes do) get stale.
Of course, this question is a good one for all kinds of activities and relationships, not just 12-step recovery programs. All kinds of things can get stale: from bread to jobs, marriages, friendships, hobbies, churches—you name it.
While it was a good question that my friend proposed, I’m not so sure that I have equally good answers. However, the wonderful thing about a good question is that it gets into your mind and rattles around in it and shakes things up. A good question is itself a refreshing thing.
So, while I don’t necessarily have any earth-shattering insights, perhaps some random thoughts might be in order. You can add your own. The purpose of blogs is not to simply be read, but to provoke your own thoughts.
First, here is a thought from Heraclitus the Obscure, one of my favorite philosophers. Heraclitus said, “No one ever steps into the same river twice. The river has changed and so has the person who steps into it.” There is a sense in which change and freshness are woven into the very fabric of the universe. Perhaps freshness isn’t so much created as it is acknowledged.
But second, there are things we can do to keep our lives fresh. And these things can also help us to refresh other people as well.
A friend of mine is taking art classes. Somebody asked him why he was doing that. “Are you particularly interesting in painting?” he was asked. “No,” he replied, “I just thought it might be interesting.”
Trying new things isn’t easy, but it is refreshing. There are some types of food that I don’t care for. I can still order and eat them. There are certain kinds of music that I don’t like very much. (Hip-hop comes to mind!) I can listen to it anyway.
I have a tremendous craving for routine. That is not necessarily a bad thing, but it can easily become a rut. When a routine becomes a “rut-ine,” my routine has become a problem. Someone has said that the only difference between a rut and a grave is depth. Yes!
One last thought: Hang around with people who can stretch you. My wife is so good at keeping me from getting into or staying in a rut. She likes to try new recipes, to order different things at restaurants—or even to try new restaurants. She is a wild one! (If it were up to me, we would always go to the same restaurants, I’m afraid.)
Cultivating new friendships as well as taking fresh approaches to old friendships is a wonderful way of stretching yourself. As I get older, I value more or more old friendships and making new ones.
My 12-step friend’s question was itself refreshing. Perhaps asking and savoring some new questions, as well as taking fresh approaches to old questions, is one of the best things we can do to maintain a green, growing edge in our lives.
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