Posts Tagged: forgiveness

“ACCEPTING GOD’S ACCEPTANCE”

 I recently read these words from the theologian Paul Tillich:

“You are accepted! … accepted by that which is greater than you and the name of which you do not know. Do not ask the name now, perhaps you will know it later. Do not try to do anything; perhaps later you will do much. Do not seek for anything, do not perform anything, and do not intend anything. Simply accept the fact you are accepted.”

But accepting acceptance isn’t simple to do, is it?  At least, accepting acceptance is not simple for the vast majority of us.  Most of us tend to put an “if” or a “when” in our acceptance.  And, for most of us, the if never is fulfilled and the when never comes.  Even if the if is fulfilled and even when the when does come, we are pounced on by another if or when.  No, accepting acceptance is not simple.

Maybe my basic problem is what has been called “the performance trap.”  I think that I have to perform at a certain level (and a very high level at that) in order to be acceptable.  Maybe I need to learn a lesson from very small children or my dog.  They don’t seem to worry a lot about performance or acceptance.  Or, at least, they don’t worry about these things until they are taught to do so.

Perhaps my basic problem is that I don’t so much need to learn any new truth.  Rather, I need to unlearn some old untruths.  The untruths that I am not accepted, that I am not acceptable, that I have to do something in order to be acceptable—all these and more—need to be kicked (or carried) to the curb.

It is definitely spring now.  It is time for spring cleaning.  A mental and spiritual spring cleaning is in order.  I need to set out my mental and spiritual trash.  That is what is called by the old-fashioned term “confession.”  The God of the universe is humble enough to haul it all away.  That is what is called by the old-fashioned name “forgiveness.”

“A ‘GOOD’ ANNIVERSARY?”

Today, September 11, 2017, is the fourteenth anniversary of my coming clean about my past.  It wasn’t easy.  It still isn’t easy.  The sins and wrong-doings may be in the past, but the effects upon those that I sinned against have ongoing effects on them.  I am not immune either.  There are times when even old scars ache.

However, I keep remembering my name: “FORGIVEN!”  I keep remembering the God who sent his Son to die for my sins and indeed for the sins of the whole world.  I keep remembering that, although I am not yet the man I want to be, I am not the man I once was either.

So, today is a day when I mourn the death of the man I used to be.  He was never completely evil, but he certainly did great evil.  I must never forget that.

But today is also a day when I celebrate a birth: the birth of a man who has tried to give his past a proper burial, a man who is not the same man he used to be, a man who is being changed from the inside out.  I’m a lot of work and a work in progress, but I am, after all, God’s work.

I owe a lot to a bunch of people for the man I am becoming.  I used to think that people are individuals.  I suppose that we are, in some sense.  However, I now suspect that we are also herd animals.  So, I want to thank other members of my herd.  It’s a big herd!

My wife has been my main “God-with-skin-on” person.  She has been a faithful and consistent reminder that God accepts me as I am, but doesn’t leave me as I am.  Thank God for both of those reminders!

Friends who have stuck with me in spite of everything also come to mind.  They too are part of my herd, and I’m part of their herd.

In particular, twelve-step friends know all about my past, and still regard me kindly and hopefully.  Sponsors, both those in the past and my present sponsor, have also been a vital part of the herd.

And then, there is my church family—particularly my/our pastor.  I sent a grateful e mail to him today.  Here it is in a somewhat modified form.

“Dear ________,

Another excellent sermon!  Thanks!

A week ago yesterday, the devil tried to cut me out of the herd in our church parking lot.  When Sharon and I arrived, it was hard to go in and face people.  I wanted to bolt.

But I didn’t.  And even though I sat there crying with my head down, God’s Word through you got through to me.  Your prayer for me meant a lot to me also.  (And, as already noted, it was answered swiftly!)

This Sunday, after living for a week with my new name (FORGIVEN!), I was in a much better place to receive God’s Word through you in a much better way.  But when you flashed that picture of the lion chasing that lone animal (a wildebeest??), I thought of myself the previous week.  I realized just how in danger I was in that moment.  The evil one was trying to cut me out of the herd.  If he had succeeded, he would not have eaten my lunch.  He would have eaten me for lunch.

Depression isolates.  Togetherness has great healing power.  Almost makes you think that God made us for community, doesn’t it?!?

Warm Regards,

___________”

Stay with the herd, my friends!  Stay with the herd!

FORGIVING THE UNFORGIVABLE

FORGIVING THE UNFORGIVABLE

Will the really wicked person please stand up?  What?!  You’re not standing!  Why not?  I am!

Our pastor preached an excellent sermon based on Matthew 18:21-35.  He said one thing, however, that I found hard to swallow.  He said that we had all wronged God more than anyone had wronged us.

Now wait a minute, I thought to myself!  What about someone who holds vindictive feelings toward someone who has murdered a person whom the vindictive person loved?  Surely in that case . . .

And then I remembered two things.  A third thing came later, as I reflected further on the sermon.

One of the things which immediately came to mind was one of my students whose son was murdered.  The father forgave his son’s killer.  Indeed, now that the man is out of prison, they get together to pray for one another.

The second thing which came to mind before I could have a mental debate with my pastor about this matter was another father-son relationship, which I had conveniently forgotten.  God had a Son, and he died to pay the sin-debt of us all.  Therefore, as I understand the matter, I have killed God’s Son.  I am the murderer.

Suddenly, it didn’t seem so hard to forgive others.  I had indeed hurt God more than anyone could ever hurt me!

And later, a third thought wormed its way into my hard heart and twisted mind: If God is the greatest lover of them all, and if he loves everyone and everything in His universe, and if every wrong that we do is a perversion of love, then God is the most intense sufferer of them all.  If God forgives me, it is indeed a terribly wicked thing to refuse to forgive others.

Well, I need to bring this post to an end.  I have a few people to forgive, and I need to do it now!

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