“Gratitude and an Eye for Detail”

On November 26, 2020 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

Do you have an eye for detail?  I do not.  At least, I don’t have such an eye most of the time or in most situations.

My “3-Minute Retreat” from Loyola Publishing challenged me this morning to develop such an eye.  (It was a very helpful retreat, which you can access for free at https://www.loyolapress.com/retreats/recibido-con-gratitud-start-retreat/.)

Toward the end of the retreat, the retreat master/writer asked a question: “Is there an aspect of creation that I should look at in more detail today?”  It is Thanksgiving Day, so the writer was explicitly connecting looking at things in more detail with giving God thanks.

I had never seen so clearly a connection between gratitude and observing things in detail.  And yet, in another sense, that is the way I try to live my life these days.  I try to notice those little realities of my daily life and give thanks for them.  I don’t always succeed of course, but I do try.

My wife is one of the best people I’ve ever known when it comes to awareness of details.  She knows what goes together and what does not.  (If I wear clothes that match, you can thank my sweetheart.)  Perhaps she was born that way, but I doubt it.  She probably had to learn the art of detailed awareness.

While it is rather late in life, perhaps I can learn the art of awareness as well.  Today—and every day—I can notice the details of my life and my world.  And maybe, just maybe, if I can cultivate such awareness, I can give God a larger fraction of the gratitude that God deserves.

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“On Using a Wider Lens Camera for the Past”

On November 24, 2020 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13b-14, English Standard Version. Paul has just listed a bunch of things, some good and some decidedly evil, that comprised his past. Only after he has remembered does he forget!)

The Hazelden website was down this morning, so I couldn’t do my “Today’s Thought” readings.  So, I found another Hazelden book that I have in my print library, Answers in the Heart: Daily Meditations.  I was planning to read the meditation for November 19, but instead, my eyes fell on the page on the left side of the book—the meditation for the day before.  I’m glad, this time at least, that my eyes did their own thing!

The page started off with an epigraph from Shakespeare:

“Praising what is lost

Makes the remembrance dear.”

The author of this meditation went on to note that addicts tend to look back on the past with regret.  This regret takes two forms: Either the addict regrets pleasures that he/she can no longer enjoy, or the addict regrets the damages done to himself or herself and others.  Most of my own regrets these days are about the damages I’ve done to others—and to myself.  Unfortunately, I have an excellent memory when it comes to the wrongs I’ve done.

The author of this brief recovery thought goes on to write the following helpful comments:

“As we meet with others and talk our way into a balanced view of ourselves, we are likely to revise our notions of the past.  To our surprise and joy, we find our focus widening; we are taking in other people.  We are no longer isolated figures, but part of a landscape thronged with family and friends.

“One of the great things about our newfound health is this ability to recall an expanding past with pleasure and joy as we achieve a wider, more generous perspective.  Our world grows and takes on more varied and deeper meanings.”

The meditation closes with the following affirmation: “Now that I am sane again, I can expand my vision of the past and find much to love and praise there.”

Using a wider lens for my past might lead to a more accurate and pleasing photograph. Zooming in on my very real mistakes and errors is like taking a closeup picture of a polluted patch of snow. and missing the panoramic view of the trees and mountains that surround the nasty patch.

My wife, who knows all about my past now, often reminds me that I was never quite as evil as I think I was.  Maybe I need to start listening to her.  I think I just will!

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“Not Alone”

On November 23, 2020 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

No, you are not alone.  I don’t care how alone you think you are or feel you are.  No, you are not alone.

In the “welcome” reading for newcomers to twelve-step groups, we read one four-word sentence to the newcomer that most of them cherish: “You are not alone.”  They cherish and remember these words because addictions make the addict feel horribly, terminally unique. She/he isn’t, but that thought, that feeling, is enough to drive the addict into the not-so-loving arms of despair.

But you don’t have to be an addict to think you’re alone or to feel lonely.  “Normal” people often have the same thoughts and feelings.  And of course, during this time of COVID-19-induced isolation and social distancing, we are all inclined to struggle with our aloneness.

However, I have a question for you.  Haven’t you ever felt alone, even in crowds?  That might suggest that togetherness is more than merely being around other people.  Even when we are with people whom we love and who love us, these feelings of loneliness can settle over our spirits like a grey fog.

Perhaps, then, we could use this feeling of loneliness-with-others in a positive manner by turning it around.  In other words, if we can feel lonely when we’re with people, perhaps we can feel companionated, even when people are not with us geographically.  (Yes, I know: “companionated” is not a real word.  But it ought to be!)

I am a beginner at this, but I am learning to have good relationships with people that I haven’t seen for years, as well as people with whom I come into contact via the phone and the internet.  This morning, I have had a wonderful, encouraging phone conversation with a twelve-step friend.  I just texted with another friend and sent my accountability report and affirmation to my two sponsors.  I had an interesting conversation with my dad, who has been dead for over thirty years.  I don’t think my dad and I understood one another very well when I was growing up.  We get along much better now.

My wife and our little dog are also in my heart.  In fact, I am going to have to ask God for a bigger heart to contain all the ones that I love.

And I am thinking about all of you who are reading this right now.  You also are in mind and heart.  I feel very close to you in this moment.

All of these people—and many more—are in my heart.  You can’t have any better companionship than that!  My life is relationally rich.  I am a multi-billionaire.

I am not alone and neither are you.  Let me say it again, whether or not you’re an addict:

You are not alone!

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“That’s Enough.”

On November 21, 2020 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

I was talking with a good friend this morning over the phone.  He spoke of struggling with getting too compulsively focused on even good things.

I knew exactly what he meant.  I do that all the time.  I came up with a mantra that we could say whenever we felt we were getting hyper-focused and out of balance: “That’s enough.”  I suggested that we say it out loud when we can, but gently.

Of course, for many of us, “enough” is a word we can hardly spell, much less use in our daily lives.  Our slogan is the old MTV slogan, “Too much is never enough.”

But sometimes, too much is just too much, and enough is enough.  And sometimes, we need to talk to ourselves.

I’ve used it so far in the following situations:

  • While I was eating.  That’s enough.
  • While I was walking two miles and wondering if I should do three miles.  That’s enough.
  • While I was working on recovery stuff.  That’s enough.
  • While I was sitting at my computer.  That’s enough.
  • While working on this blog post.  That’s enough.

“That’s all I’ve got to say about that.”

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“Lively and Lovely Stubbornness”

On November 20, 2020 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” (Phil. 4:8, English Standard Version)

Ugliness and death are stubborn and hard to eradicate.  Indeed, unless your name is God, ugliness and death probably can’t be eradicated.  But then, beauty and life are stubborn too.

This morning I was doing my “3-Minute Retreat” from Loyola Press.  Their retreats are free, daily, and excellent.  They have a pictorial background, some meditative music, a brief scripture, a couple of short, thought-provoking questions, and a closing suggested prayer.  And yes, you really can do them in about three minutes.  I usually take longer, but then that’s me.

The background picture this morning was as helpful to me as the words and music.  Maybe that’s because I paid attention to the picture.

It showed a tightly louvered, metallic-looking fence with a couple of flowers growing through a very narrow crack in the fence.  “Beauty and life are stubborn!” I said out loud.

And as a matter of fact, beauty and life are stubborn.  Good thing!  Because obviously so are ugliness and death.

We need to acknowledge the ugliness and death.  It won’t go away if we simply ignore it.

But we also need to focus on the beauty and the life.  As I am writing this post, the sun is coming up.  There is a lovely breeze, and it is already 50.  It is supposed to get up into the mid sixties today.  I will rake leaves and take them to the compost pile.  Then, I’m going to go for a ride on the Little Miami Bike Trail.

Beauty and life will be one of my mantras for the day.  You can use it too.  It’s not copyrighted!

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“The Quest for Knowledge. Feeding on Foolishness, and the Depth of Proverbs, Part 2”

On November 19, 2020 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

“The heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge, but the mouths of fools feed on folly.” (Proverbs 15:14, English Standard Version)

“You are what you eat.”  (A common saying.)

“You eat what you are.”  (My own not-so-ancient proverb)

In yesterday’s post I unpacked a bit of what’s going on in the first line of Proverbs 15:14 (the part about the understanding person who continues to seek knowledge).  Today, let’s have a look at the fool.  Sometimes, we all act like fools, so this is an important matter to consider.  If I want to see a fool, I don’t generally need binoculars, just a mirror.  If the mirror fits, wear it!

As with many proverbs—both those in the Bible and others—this proverb is very terse.  The business about the fool feeding on folly involves the mouth, and it might also mean that the fool’s speech is junk food.  (Think of our expression “He’s feeding you a line!”)

Quite likely though, the proverb means that the fool is nourished (sort of) by foolishness.  Hence my flipping of the saying that led off this post: “You are what you eat,” becomes “You eat what you are.”

One of the many problems with acting foolishly is that such acting becomes self-perpetuating.  The more you act foolishly, the more you crave foolishness.  Wisdom may come with age, but only if you are seeking it diligently.  If you act foolishly, you will feed on foolishness.

I say again, mostly to myself but also to you, Dear Reader: Be careful what you do and what you eat!  Because, you and I really are what we eat, and we do eat what we are!

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“The Quest for Knowledge and the Depth of Proverbs”

On November 18, 2020 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

I used to read through the biblical book of Proverbs rapidly. I thought of Proverbs as a nice little book with nice little sayings that were easy to understand and not very deep.  I was so wrong.  Many of these proverbs are much more profound and nuanced than I had dreamt.  Working through them in Hebrew has invited me to slow down and savor them.  Perhaps a lack of depth and nuance in the Bible, (or, for that matter, in my days or in any person that I meet) is simply the result of my not slowing down enough.  Perhaps I should omit the word “Perhaps” from the preceding sentence.

Take Proverbs 15:14 for example.

“The heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge,

but the mouths of fools feed on folly.” (Proverbs 15:14, English Standard Version)

Does this proverb seem to you to be straightforward?  Slow down and think again!

For one thing, notice that one of the characteristics of the person who has understanding is that she/he puts her/his heart into it.  Be careful here, however.  The Hebrew root (lbb) doesn’t necessarily suggest “emotions” or “love” as our word “heart” does.  More often, the Hebrew word that we translate with our word “heart” suggests what we mean by mind or thought.  Probably our saying, “Get your head in the game!” is closer to what the Hebrew root lbb means than is our saying, “Put your heart into it!”

A second thing to note about the first part of this verse is that the root of the Hebrew word bqš is often translated “seek.”  Some nuances about the meaning of this root are “to strive after something, be busy, be concerned.”  So, this kind of seeking knowledge isn’t as simple as googling a topic in which you have a mild interest!  No, there is an intensity about this kind of seeking.

But wait a minute!  This proverb indicates that it is those who have understanding who seek knowledge.  Isn’t that more than a little strange?  If they already have understanding, why do they have to seek knowledge?

Apparently, for the author of this proverb, the quest for knowledge has no boundary.  And those who have an understanding heart know that.  We may not like it, but there it is.  The person with an understanding heart doesn’t know everything.  He/she doesn’t know what he/she doesn’t know.  But the person with an understanding heart does know this: We are all beginners, and the quest for knowledge is a process, not being zapped by some easy miracle.

Since I’ve used so many words to unpack a proverb (which is only eight words long in Hebrew!), we’ll save the fool for tomorrow.

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“In Praise of November”

On November 17, 2020 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

In the not-too-distant past, I hated November.  Well, maybe “hated” is too strong a word.  No, on third thought, it isn’t!  I used to hate Novembers.

Oh, don’t get me wrong: Thanksgivings were kind of nice.  But one day out of thirty does not a good month make.

But the other day, I decided to enjoy November.  Of course, I enjoyed the drop-dead-beautiful days we had last week.  Sunny dry and in the 70s: What’s not to like about that!  But that is not when I decided to like November.  No, it was when the weather turned cold and grey and rainy, and all the leaves were stripped from the trees.  I looked out my study window at a tree that had been so beautiful a couple of weeks ago.  Even a few days ago, the tree had a lot of lovely yellow leaves.

But now, the tree stood there, naked.  A strong wind made the tree shiver in the cold.  I realized that I could see the limbs and the bark much better now, and I could also see that they were beautiful.

It also hit me like cold water in a shower that I wouldn’t enjoy spring or summer nearly as much without the winter.  And suddenly, I was awake.  The cold water washed away my contempt for November.  My desire for custom-made weather had kept me from enjoying the beauty of the is-ness of things.  And with that realization, a flood of gratitude washed over me.  There is nothing wrong with November after all!  There never was!  I was the problem with November.

My wife was born in November.  That, even more than the beauty of the trees, should have provided plenty of incentive for cherishing this month.

After the great flood, God gives his word that,

“As long as the earth endures,

seedtime and harvest,

cold and heat,

summer and winter,

day and night

will never cease.” (Genesis 8:22, New International Version)

God made all the seasons.  God made every month—November no less than April or June.

Robert Frost has a wonderful poem about the lovely companionship of November.

My sorrow, when she’s here with me,

     Thinks these dark days of autumn rain

Are beautiful as days can be;

She loves the bare, the withered tree;

     She walks the sodden pasture lane.

Her pleasure will not let me stay.

     She talks and I am fain to list:

She’s glad the birds are gone away,

She’s glad her simple worsted grey

     Is silver now with clinging mist.

The desolate, deserted trees,

     The faded earth, the heavy sky,

The beauties she so truly sees,

She thinks I have no eye for these,

     And vexes me for reason why.

Not yesterday I learned to know

     The love of bare November days

Before the coming of the snow,

But it were vain to tell her so,

     And they are better for her praise.

My next task in my quest is to learn to love the nighttime as much as I do the early mornings.

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“Eating Twinkies with God”

On November 16, 2020 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

Do not read this post until you have watched the following video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9N8OXkN0Rk.

My wife put me onto this wonderful little video. Thanks, sweetheart!

Okay?  Did you watch the video?  Good!  Let’s proceed!

“25:31 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 And he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left. 34 Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, 36 I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ 37 Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? 38 And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? 39 And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ 40 And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’” (Matthew 25:31-40, English Standard Version.)

Any questions?

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“On Laughing at Your Own Fool Self”

On November 15, 2020 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

“Prov. 15:15    All the days of the afflicted are evil,

but the cheerful of heart has a continual feast.” (English Standard Version)

I ran out of ideas just now for this blog, so I said a quick prayer: “Help!”  God answered the prayer immediately, but God’s prompting wasn’t all that “spiritual” (whatever that is).  Instead, God reminded me of a funny, stupid thing I did last night.

My sweetheart was coming back home after being away for several days taking care of her mom.  I missed her so much!  I shaved and showered and dressed up a bit.  I got her a bouquet of flowers.  I even vacuumed downstairs.  Aren’t I sweet!

We met at Kroger to get gas for our two cars and three five-gallon gas cans with our Kroger fuel points.  Afterward, I hopped in my wife’s car, so that we could go out to a fine dining establishment—Sonic.  After we had enjoyed way too many delicious calories, we went home.

After we had parked her car in the garage, it hit me: We had forgotten to go by Kroger to pick up my car!

It wasn’t really a big deal.  The Kroger store in only about three miles from our house.  I just shook my head and laughed at my fool self.

But here is the thing: Not so long ago, I would not have laughed.  I would have been terribly angry with myself over this kind of thing.  I would have called myself all kinds of unkind names.  I would have thought that this incident was the summarizing of my entire life.  I would have seriously dampened my wife’s joy at being home.

But, I didn’t.  And if I am willing to laugh at myself, I can have a continual feast.  I continued feasting this morning, because of another silly thing I did.

At the beginning of this post, I thought of the verse that leads off the post, Proverbs 15:15.  However, I couldn’t remember where it was found.  Somewhere in Proverbs; I was sure of that much.  When my smart phone game me the answer to my question about a nanosecond after I had asked it, I had to laugh out loud.  I had listened to chapter 15 of Proverbs on my You Version app about an hour ago.  I call myself an Old Testament guy?  And let’s face it: A body ought to be able to remember a scriptural reference like “Proverbs 15:15”.

Again I say unto thee, sometimes you just have to laugh at your own fool self!  I hope you have a merry heart today, and a continual feast!  May you do something mildly foolish today!

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