“No Quick and Easy Spell”
(Here is a post I did a couple of years ago. It was good that I thought I would reprise it. I won’t say, “Enjoy!” since it is pretty brutal.)
I was sending my report and affirmation to my sponsor this morning. Here is my affirmation:
“Today, by God’s grace, I am taking good care of myself. This way, I will honor God and act caringly toward others.”
The word “caringly” was flagged on my spell checker. I thought this was the correct way to spell it, but figured that I had better check. So, I googled “spell caringly.”
Here is the first hit that appeared on my screen.
“Magic Spells for 2018 – Spells for Any & Every Need
Don’t Settle for the Ordinary: Order a Spell & Change Your Life. So Fast & Easy!
Service catalog: Love/Relationship Spells, Money Spells, Luck Spells
Absolutely guaranteed, or your money back!”
I was not prepared for that!
I rather liked the advertisement, although I did not go to the site. I liked the advert for a very simple reason: It encapsulates precisely what I would like to believe.
I would like to believe that there are simple and easy solutions to complex problems.
I would like to believe that, if I simply say the right things in the right order, accompanied by the right rituals, everything will go my way.
I really want to believe this! However, it is really difficult to make yourself believe something you don’t, even when you want to.
Well, no, on second thought, it’s not really that difficult to make myself believe in the fast and easy way. In fact, I do it all the time.
I want muscles without workouts, character without self-discipline, and good relationships without commitment. I want to be good at everything I do, without doing anything to actually become better.
And, of course, I want a money-back guarantee for everything—including life itself. I don’t need to go to a website to desire “fast and easy.” I am already there.
It’s not just me. As a society, we are addicted to speed, perhaps not the drug speed, but getting things quickly for sure. We are a microwave-loving people.
What is the remedy? I don’t know. But I do know this: There is no fast and easy solution to wanting fast and easy solutions.
Christians, above all, shouldn’t fall for fast-and-easy solutions, but often we do. We turn the cross of Christ into a fast and easy solution to our sin and guilt—past, present, and future. We fall into the trap of what Dietrich Bonhoeffer called “cheap grace.” We forget that Jesus not only bore the cross himself. He also called us to do so. “Then he said to them all: ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me’” (Luke 9:23, NIV).
It’s that “daily” part that usually gets me. I don’t want to take the slow and painful way, the cross, daily. I want to take it when I get around to it. But the truth is that I can either bear the cross now, today, or I can procrastinate until something fast and easy comes along. It won’t.
My choice! Yours too! But I really don’t want to “. . . settle for the ordinary”. Do you?
“Redefining Par”
Dean Furness gave his TED talk from a wheelchair. He is paralyzed from the waist down. He had a fundamentally simple point: “Don’t compare yourself to others.”[1]
And yet, nearly every commercial or advertisement you’ve ever seen or heard has the opposite message. “Do compare yourself to others, and you don’t come off well in the comparison. So, you need our service or product!”
“Comparison Syndrome” may not be anybody’s official diagnosis, but it is real. And it is really deadly.
A friend of mine who trains athletes says that, when he goes out to play golf with a young person, he encourages them to decide on what is par for them for a given hole or a course. (If I did that, most par threes would be par fives.) Then, my friend encourages them to try to gradually improve and lower their score.
There is a wonderful story in John’s Gospel that speaks of a meeting between the resurrected Jesus and his disciple Peter. Simon Peter had denied three times that he even knew Jesus. According to John 21, Jesus gave Peter the opportunity to reaffirm his love for Jesus three times.
However, Jesus also warned Peter that following Jesus meant suffering and a loss of freedom. Jesus never sugarcoated anything. And, like most of us who have had an unsettling conversation with someone we have loved and betrayed, Peter tried a very simple tactic: Change the subject! In this case, changing the subject meant comparing himself to another disciple.
“John 21:20 Peter turned and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them, the one who also had leaned back against him during the supper and had said, “Lord, who is it that is going to betray you?” 21 When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, “Lord, what about this man?” 22 Jesus said to him, “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!” 23 So the saying spread abroad among the brothers that this disciple was not to die; yet Jesus did not say to him that he was not to die, but, “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you?”
Basically, Jesus is saying, “What happens to this other disciple is none of your business! You, follow me!”
Par is different for every disciple. We need to stop comparing and start following Jesus. That will cut down on our frustration, and it will help us to play the serious game of discipleship a lot better.
[1]You can access Dean’s TED talk at:
“Deeds and Plans Done in Serenity”
“Commit your work to the LORD,
and your plans will be established.” (Proverbs 16:3, English Standard Version)
“Our activities and plans . . . will be no less our own for being his: only less burdensome . . . and better made.” (Derek Kidner, commenting on Proverbs 16:3)
Do you ever feel frantic in your work? Or, do you feel as if there is no plan, and that your work is random and without real significance?
Welcome to everybody’s world! Many of us struggle with these kinds of fears most of the time. All of us, I suspect, have times when the weight of our own scattered doings and plans is very heavy indeed.
Apparently, the writer of Proverbs 16:3 felt it necessary to warn his readers (or hearers) about this very danger. He writes a prescription for this dis-ease, but it is a bitter pill to swallow: “Commit (literally, “roll”) your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established.”
However, most of us like to handle things ourselves, even if we are mishandling them. From the time we are little, we are taught to take care of ourselves.
“You’re a big boy now. You should be able to go to the bathroom by yourself.”
“You’re able to do your own laundry and put it away.”
“You need to take responsibility, to stand on your own two feet.”
These messages are not wrong. We do need to learn to take care of ourselves, as much as we can.
But there are other lessons to be learned as well. We need to learn how to care for others. A person who takes care of only themselves isn’t even taking good care of themselves. If this covid-19 crisis teaches us anything, it is teaching us that we really do need one another. Yes, even those who make yeast and toilet paper!
There is one other lesson that I believe we need to learn. And frankly, most of us struggle with this lesson most of all. It is the lesson about trusting God with our doings and our plans.
Now, I am not talking about this lesson being difficult for people who do not believe in God. Of course, if you don’t believe in God, it is difficult—indeed contradictory—to speak of trusting God. But I am talking about the difficulty of trusting God, even those who call ourselves “believers.”
Oh, we’re pretty good about trusting God in general. It is only when we come down to the nitty-gritty, everyday plans and deeds that we struggle. On the other hand, if we only trust God “in general,” do we really trust God at all? I have my doubts about the worth and genuineness of that kind of generalized faith.
So, I need to commit my works to the LORD. Well, how do I do that?
I wish that I knew. Sorry to disappoint. Were you expecting some helpful, practical suggestions?
Well, perhaps one practical suggestion would be in order. It seems to help when I actually do it. Here it is! Just say to God something like this: “This isn’t really my work. It is yours, or at least, I hope that it is yours. Help me to do the work and make the plans, but help me not think of the plans or the work as mine. If planning and working is up to me, I’ll make an inadequate plan, and I won’t work as effectively as I would like.”
Such an attitude, when fiercely cultivated, helps me to relax, plan better, and work better. Give it a whirl, and see what happens. You might be surprised.
“Take Care!”
“Take care!”
It’s a common expression. But what (or who) are we supposed to care of?Are we supposed to take care of ourselves? Business? Others? The world?
According to a good friend of mine, the answer is, “Yes!” In fact, he suggested to me that we don’t necessarily need to choose between these forms of taking care of. One of us proposed that we simply say, “Take care!”
Of course, there are problems with taking care. Sometimes, it shades off into becoming care-takers in an unhealthy, co-dependent way. As with anything, when it is taken to its logical extreme, “care” becomes just plain extreme. All logic (and indeed all sanity) gets thrown right out of the window when “care” becomes a codeword for slavery.
But care, when it is healthy, is always a good thing. And it is all of one piece. How can I take care of someone else or the world when I am not taking care of myself? And if I am only caring for myself, I become isolated and self-involved. I become a person all wrapped up in myself. And, as someone has said, “A man who is all wrapped up in himself becomes a very small package.”
A great Jewish teacher, Hillel the Elder, said,
“If I am not for myself, who will be for me?
And if I am only for myself, what am I?
And if not now, when?”
So, just for today, my wish for you and for myself is one and the same:
Take care!
“Letting Myself Be Loved”
I did not sleep long enough last night (in my opinion). However, what do I know?! In any case, here I am!
God, in terms of step 11, if your will is that I go back to bed and sleep a while longer, I wouldn’t be opposed to such a thing. Four hours or so of sleep doesn’t feel like enough.
My wife and I got quite a bit of our garden worked up and planted yesterday. It was great fun playing in the mud with my lovely lady. I felt as if we were back in the Garden of Eden. Despite the thorns and thistles, we are still commissioned to work the soil.
Here is a wonderful epigraph from one of my 12-step readings this morning: “What is moral is what you feel good after.”
—Ernest Hemingway
Sounds about right to me!
. . .
Listening to “Bali Run” and “Jean” on loop, at three in the morning, while eating almonds and drinking chocolate milk—nothing like it!
. . .
And God said, “Just sit there, and let me love you.” So, I did!
Not anxious, not criticized, not expected to do anything. Just loved.
Sometimes, God doesn’t want anything at all from us, except for us to sit there and be loved. And blessed are those who allow God to do that!
A wonderful cool breeze ruffles the papers on my desk. No mighty rushing wind, no tongues of fire, just a wonderful cool breeze. It is enough, and more than enough.
“Making Room for Who Matters”
My morning retreat (courtesy of Loyola Publishing) asked a wonderful question today: “When have I had to make room for Jesus in my thoughts, words, or deeds?” (“3-Minute Retreat”)
But my life is too full for Jesus right now. Even in the midst of the covid-19 pandemic, there are blog posts to write, working on publishing my PhD dissertation, planting the garden, weeding the flower beds, and taking the dog on walks and to do her business.
Then, there are other important matters such as:
- Trying to beat my wife at Scrabble.
- Watching reruns of Adam-12 on MeTV.
- Trying to get past level 16 in Word Wipe.
- Reading political and economic news that depresses me and that I can’t do much about.
- Worrying about catching the coronavirus.
So, as you can see, I have no room for Jesus. Making room in my thoughts and words would be difficult enough. But you’re asking me to make room for Jesus in my deeds too?! Really?!?
No, I’m afraid not. Maybe later. Maybe after this pandemic is over. Maybe after the garden work is finished. Maybe after I’m retired.
Oh, wait! I am retired! Well, maybe after I’ve been retired a little longer.
There is an old hymn, often used in churches that gave old-fashioned invitations. It went something like this:
“Room for pleasure, room for business,
But for Christ the Crucified,
Not a place that He can enter,
In the heart for which He died?”
Perhaps I should clear me calendar.
“Jesus Answering His Own Questions”
“Now his parents went to Jerusalem every year at the Feast of the Passover. 42 And when he was twelve years old, they went up according to custom. 43 And when the feast was ended, as they were returning, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem. His parents did not know it, 44 but supposing him to be in the group they went a day’s journey, but then they began to search for him among their relatives and acquaintances, 45 and when they did not find him, they returned to Jerusalem, searching for him. 46 After three days they found him in the temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. 47 And all who heard him were amazed at his understanding and his answers. 48 And when his parents saw him, they were astonished. And his mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us so? Behold, your father and I have been searching for you in great distress.” 49 And he said to them, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” 50 And they did not understand the saying that he spoke to them. 51 And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart.”
My wife is the de facto writer of this post. (Okay, I wrote it, but I’m just channeling her. If there are any spelling or grammar errors, those are mine.)
We were preparing for a small-group Bible study we are attending virtually, and were looking at Luke 2:41-52. It is the story about Jesus staying behind in the temple in Jerusalem after his parents had headed home. I don’t think that I had ever noticed before the precise wording of verses of verses 46 and 47, and what strange friends they are. Verse 46 says that Jesus was asking questions of the teachers in the temple, but verse 47 says that everyone who heard this twelve-year-old boy were amazed at his answers.
What?! How could the people have been amazed with Jesus’ answers, when he was asking questions?!?
My wife came up with a very interesting idea. Perhaps the teachers couldn’t answer the questions, so Jesus answered them himself!
I don’t know if my sweetheart is right—though she may well be—but one thing is for sure in my own life: Jesus can ask me questions to which I flat out do not know the answers. Sometimes, it is because I don’t want to know. At other times, I simply don’t know.
At this point, when I have finally decided to quit pretending to know more than I do, I can to Jesus, “Well, what do you think?” And then, if I shut up and listen, I am amazed that Jesus actually has some pretty good answers.
I believe that Jesus came to reveal who God is and what God is like. Jesus did this in many ways. One of those ways is to reveal what prayer is supposed to be. Prayer is not just talking with God. It is not primarily asking God for stuff, even for good stuff. Prayer is a conversation with God. Like any good conversation (and some not-so-good conversations), questions are part of the mix. We can and should ask lots of questions. Hopefully, they are good questions. But God’s responses may be the really amazing thing. God’s response may well not be the one we had hoped for, but it will be the one we need.
Today, oh God, may I be amazed at the answers you give to the questions you are asking me.
“Mother’s Day for those Who Wish it Wasn’t”
There are a lot of people who don’t like Mother’s Day. So, rest assured that you are not alone if you are one of those people.
There are many good reasons for this dislike, or even for this hatred of the holiday. Some moms are estranged from their own moms and/or their children. Some are not estranged, but the relationships are strained. Some women desperately wanted to have children, but couldn’t. Others had children, and wished they hadn’t. Some mothers have lost their children to death. The list goes on, but I will not.
Perhaps we need to transform and rename the holiday. Perhaps we could call it something like “Nurturer’s Day.” On “Nurturers Day,” we would send cards and gifts and warm greetings to all the women and men who have nurtured us over the years. We would also recognize the importance of our own role as nurturers.
No one is ever too old, too male, to female—too anything—to be a nurturer. Nurturing is an equal-opportunity employer.
Now, I don’t mean to devalue mothers. I had a really good one, and my wife is a really good one, even though she often thinks she’s not. For those of you who have wonderful relationships with your moms and your children, I say, “Excellent!”
But for those who struggle with this Hallmark Holiday, I say, “Happy Nurturer’s Day!” May your tribe increase! And may we celebrate your ability to nurture every day! May we also imitate it!
“Tied to God with a Double ‘Not’”
“All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out.” (John 6:37, English Standard Version)
I have always struggled with the idea that I can be saved. I am only too aware of how often I’ve thought, said, and done terrible things. This may not be quite as true for me now as it used to be, but I still mess up on a very regular basis. How can someone like me ever be saved?
So, Jesus’ statement in John 6:37 is a great problem for me, and at the same time, a great comfort to me.
I looked at the verse in the Greek, and noticed that Jesus uses two negatives in the verse. This is a no-no in English, but is very acceptable in many other languages. The English Standard Version translates these two “not” words with the word “never.”
Usually just one of these two words for “not” will be used, but when they are both used, it means that the speaker is being very emphatic. Apparently, Jesus is saying, quite emphatically, that neither he nor his heavenly father are in the rejection business. We are tied to God with a double not!
I often come to Jesus and the Father and say, “Well, here I am. I’ve messed up again.” But the point is that I do come to them.
Maybe that’s the point for you as well, my friend.
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