“Nightmares & Morning Chickens”
I have fat, clumsy fingers. So, it was with great joy that I discovered that I can dictate texts on my smart phone. Maybe that’s why they call them “smart phones.”
However, I’m discovering that my pronunciation is not always up to snuff. For example . . .
Yesterday morning, a 12-step friend and I were exchanging morning check-in texts. I replied to his text that “I cherish these morning check-ins.” At least, that is what I intended to dictate. However, my smart-but-not-quite-smart-enough phone heard it as “I cherish these morning chickens.”
I’ve learned to read my texts before I send them. Sometimes, I even remember to do that. This time I remembered, but decided to send it the way it was, with a follow-up sentence that said what I really meant to say. Humor is scarcer than toilet paper these days, and just as important.
The expression “morning chickens” took me back to my childhood growing up on the farm. When I was little, we still kept chickens. My job was to gather the eggs morning and evening. I loved doing this, especially in the morning. Mom went with me, until I was ready to fly solo. The chickens were allowed freedom of movement, so it was great fun to hunt for the eggs. Some of the hens lay their eggs in predictable places, and some hens were full of surprises—as well as eggs.
Morning check-ins are important for addicts. Perhaps they are important for everyone, whether or not they are addicts. But morning chickens matter too. And memories of little childhood delights matter even more. Even at a time when we realize how fragile life is, how fragile it always was. Even when we aren’t sleeping well, and wake up to find ourselves in the middle of a nightmare. Especially then. I speak from experience. I tossed and turned all night, and was plagued by nightmares. I love early mornings, but I don’t love them this much. In other words, it’s early, even for me.
But even in the midst of nightmares and restlessness, there are things for which to be profoundly grateful.
- Friends who hold themselves accountable to me.
- Friends who hold me accountable.
- Funny stuff you didn’t intend.
- Good memories of morning chickens.
“Social Distancing from Fear”
Social distancing is the current buzz term. And I believe that it is a good thing. However, let me suggest another form of social distancing that might be helpful: social distancing from our fears.
However, we need to be careful not to try to quarantine our fears in an airtight room. They’ll smother to death! And the truth of the matter is that we actually need our fears. They are a gift from God, if you believe in God, as I do. If you don’t believe in God, fears are something given to us by the process of evolution. In any case, fears can be a very good thing. A person, a dog, or a fly that don’t fear anything would soon be a dead person, dog, or fly.
At a recent Zoom tele-meeting, some 12-step friends and I were discussing an important topic: how to avoid turning our emotions (particularly stress and fear) into occasions for acting out in our bottom-line addictive patterns.
I commented as follows: “I need to acknowledge my fears, but I don’t need to invite them in for coffee.”
And then I added, “Sometimes, I stand across the street and have a face to face conversation with my stress and fears. But I do stay on my side of the street. I don’t want my fears to infect me, nor do I want to be a carrier of the fear contagion to others.”
The other day, I encountered a friend on my walk in our community. He was out mowing the yard. We had a nice visit—from across the street.
Perhaps that’s what we should do with our fears: visit in a friendly manner from across the street. Just don’t invite them in for coffee.
“Emotional Depression: How to Get out of The Pits”
I was struggling with depression yesterday, so I reported this fact to my sponsors this morning. One of my 12-step sponsors asked me a great question about depression this morning. “Although when the time the Bible was written, depression may have not have been a term that was used. What is the general overview of the Bible regarding depression? What is their guidance?”
It is true, as far as I can tell, that the Bible does not mention depression, at least as we would understand that word. However, there is a story in the Old Testament that may speak to the issue of depression. It is the story of Elijah. Elijah was a prophet who spoke to the Northern Kingdom of Israel during a time of corruption and apostasy from the LORD, the God of Israel. There was a great deal of idolatrous worship and social injustice. The rich were getting richer and the poor were getting poorer. Violence was the norm. There was a veneer of religiosity, but no substance. Any similarity with modern America is strictly accidental.
God, through the prophet Elijah, confronted Israel with its sin. For some not-so-strange reason, Israel didn’t like thinking that they were to blame for a terrible drought that had wrecked the economy, and was costing people their lives. So, there were those in high positions—especially King Ahab and Queen Jezebel—who wanted Elijah dead. After all, Elijah was the one who had announced the drought, so he must be to blame. Right?
Queen Jezebel decided to get rid of this thorn in everybody’s side. She could have put him to death, but there might be a popular outcry. After all, some people in Israel did regard Elijah as a real prophet. So, instead of putting out a contract on Elijah, Queen Jezebel made a threat to have him killed. It would perhaps be better if he ran for his life, than for her to take his life.
It worked like a charm. Here is the story, as recorded in 1 Kings 19:
“Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword.
Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, “So may the gods do to me and more also, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them [i.e., like the false prophets that Elijah had killed] by this time tomorrow.”
Then he was afraid, and he arose and ran for his life and came to Beersheba, which belongs to Judah, and left his servant there. But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.”
And he lay down and slept under a broom tree. And behold, an angel touched him and said to him, “Arise and eat.”
And he looked, and behold, there was at his head a cake baked on hot stones and a jar of water. And he ate and drank and lay down again.
And the angel of the LORD came again a second time and touched him and said, “Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you.”
And he arose and ate and drank, and went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb, the mount of God. There he came to a cave and lodged in it. And behold, the word of the LORD came to him, and he said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
He said, “I have been very jealous for the LORD, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away.”
And he said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the LORD.” And behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake.
And after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper.
And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
He said, “I have been very jealous for the LORD, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away.”
And the LORD said to him, “Go, return on your way to the wilderness of Damascus. And when you arrive, you shall anoint Hazael to be king over Syria.
And Jehu the son of Nimshi you shall anoint to be king over Israel, and Elisha the son of Shaphat of Abel-meholah you shall anoint to be prophet in your place.
And the one who escapes from the sword of Hazael shall Jehu put to death, and the one who escapes from the sword of Jehu shall Elisha put to death.
Yet I will leave seven thousand in Israel, all the knees that have not bowed to Baal, and every mouth that has not kissed him.” So he departed from there and found Elisha the son of Shaphat, who was plowing with twelve yoke of oxen in front of him, and he was with the twelfth. Elijah passed by him and cast his cloak upon him.
And he left the oxen and ran after Elijah and said, “Let me kiss my father and my mother, and then I will follow you.” And he said to him, “Go back again, for what have I done to you?”
And he returned from following him and took the yoke of oxen and sacrificed them and boiled their flesh with the yokes of the oxen and gave it to the people, and they ate. Then he arose and went after Elijah and assisted him.
(1 Kings 19:1-21, English Standard Version)
While the words “depressed” or “depression” do not occur in this story, it seems to me that Elijah was, in fact, depressed.
And what did God do to help Elijah? Several things, actually.
- God let Elijah run,
- God made sure that Elijah got a bunch of rest.
- God made sure that Elijah ate.
- God asked Elijah a very simple question: “What are you doing here?” (Elijah’s response was not so much an answer as a dodge. “I’m the only righteous person left in Israel, and they are trying to kill me.”)
- God confronted Elijah with his addiction to the dramatic. (God sent strong wind, an intense earthquake, and fire, but was not in those things.)
- God spoke to Elijah, not through the dramatic, but by means of the quiet.
- God asked Elijah the same question that God had already asked: “What are you doing here Elijah?” Unfortunately, Elijah gave God the same lame (non)answer.
- God reminded Elijah that God still had work for Elijah to do, and that Elijah needed to get on with it.
- God informed Elijah that there were several thousand in Israel who had remained faithful. Elijah was not as alone as he felt.
- God gave Elijah an assistant and understudy—Elisha.
Of course, this is a story. It is not a prescription. Often, those of us who are Christians, are reminded “not to base doctrines on stories.” Probably, we should be wary of basing emotional and mental healing on stories as well.
However, I find some good healing hints in this story. Exercise. Eat regular meals. Rest. Let God ask some difficult questions—over and over, if need be. You still have work to do. Do it! Remember that you are not alone. Get a companion to help you.
I have struggled with depression since I was nine years old. I didn’t even know what to call it, until years later. And I probably don’t need to tell you, dear reader, that this is a very stressful time we are living in right now. We will all probably have days when we struggle with depression. On these days, and likely in all of our days, we need to remind ourselves and one another to exercise and rest, and eat, and all of these other things that this story might suggest. Depression will attack us all at times like these, but there is still hope. There are some simple things that can help—if you do them.
I’m going to paraphrase an acronym that I heard many years ago. It was part of a joke that I heard. A pastor was beginning his ministry at his very first church. He was, quite understandably, very nervous as he was about to preach his first sermon. When he looked at his notes, he discovered that his wife had added the word “KISS” at the top of his notes. He looked out at the congregation, and smiled at his wife. She smiled back. Her thoughtful note helped him to relax, and he did fine.
After the sermon and greeting his parishioners, he said to his wife, “Thanks for the kiss! It really helped me to relax a bit.”
“That’s nice honey. You did realize it was an acronym, didn’t you?”
“Uh . . .,” the young pastor hesitated. “It was?”
“Yes,” said it his wife. It stood for.
Keep
It
Simple
Sweetheart!
So, I say unto thee, keep it simple, sweethearts! Maybe you’ll get out of the pits after all!
“Gentle Reasonableness”
“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.
Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand;
do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”
(Philippians 4:4–9 The Holy Bible, English Standard Version
I am trying to memorize these verses from Philippians. I am doing so in order to calm my jangling nerves. I have been told so many times here of late that I am “elderly” and “vulnerable” that I am beginning to feel that I really am those things. The only thing worse than being called elderly and vulnerable is to feel that it’s true.
I am working these days especially on rejoicing and being reasonable. “Reasonable” is not always something I’ve been, or even aspired to be.
I figured out that, if I was going to become a more reasonable person, it might be wise to figure out what the word meant. It is difficult to become something, when you don’t even know what it is you’re trying to become. I checked out the Greek word for reasonableness in Philippians 4:5 in some commentaries and reference works, and here is what I discovered.
Ralph P. Martin, in the Tyndale Commentary on Philippians has the following helpful observations on Philippians 4:5, and the idea of gentleness, or reasonableness:
“5. The appeal to gentleness, to epieikes (RSV, ‘forbearance’), is defined by the following words to all. This implies that the apostle has the church’s relations with the outside world in mind rather than the Christian fellowship in its mutual relationships. Epieikeia, which is the noun corresponding to the adjective in the text, is an ethical term used again by Paul in 2 Corinthians 10:1. The LXX of Psalm 85 (86):5 uses the adjective to translate ‘ready to forgive’; I. H. Marshall gives a full description of its meaning as ‘fairmindedness, the attitude of a man who is charitable towards men’s faults and merciful in his judgment of their failings because he takes their whole situation into his reckoning’. Perhaps ‘graciousness’ is the best English equivalent; and, in the context here, it is to be the spirit of willingness to yield under trial which will show itself in a refusal to retaliate when attacked. It may have seemed an impossible ideal to the Philippians, but the preceding verse is a reminder that such a quality ‘is the outshining of joy in the Lord’, as Michaelis puts it.
The call to a gracious disposition made possible by God’s grace is buttressed by a solemn warning of the Lord’s nearness, The Lord is near.”
Another scholar, Preisker (Theological Dictionary of the Old Testament, volume II, pages 588-590), notes that words built off this root refer to God’s kindness that is shown by God to those who do not deserve it.
It would seem, then, that either the word “gentle” or “reasonable” would be good translations of the Greek word epieikes. So, what does it mean for me to be reasonable and gentle? It means being gracious to people that I think are wrong. It means cutting some slack for people who, like me, are under tremendous stress right now. Perhaps practicing gentle reasonableness might even be important for how we treat ourselves.
Neither Paul nor I are saying that this is easy. Paul and I are, however, saying this: Gentle reasonableness is something that believers are called to cultivate. There is plenty of harshness and unreason these days. There is always an over-supply of them. We all need to work on producing more gentle reasonableness. It’s the most gentle, and reasonable, thing we can do.
“Rejoicing: Just Do It!”
“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.” (Philippians 4:4)
We live in a sad, stressful, confusing time. That is true of some people all of the time, and not just now. Right now, I suspect that it is true of all people all the time.
So, I am trying to memorize and live out Philippians 4:4-9. Here is how this portion of Paul’s letter to the Philippians goes:
“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.
Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand;
do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”
(Philippians 4:4–9 The Holy Bible, English Standard Version
Now, it is easy to say, “Well that is easy for Paul to say! He must have been having a really good day when he wrote this!”
Actually, Paul was in prison. He had no idea how his case would turn out. Then too, Paul was writing to a small group of believers in Philippi, whose lives were by no means easy. But despite Paul being in the slammer, and the Philippians having a rough time, he commands them—and yes, it is an imperative in the Greek—to rejoice.
I doubt that the Philippians were very inclined to rejoice. Whenever Paul (or anyone else in the Bible) commands someone to do something, it is almost always because they weren’t. That is, they weren’t doing what he was commanding them to do.
Paul is very emphatic about this command, and he expects rejoicing to be their regular habit. He reinforces the command in a number of ways. For one thing, the Greek verb translated “rejoice” is in the present tense, which does not simply mean “in the present” or “right now,” as it does in our language. Rather, the Greek present tense suggests a continual or repetitive action. In other words, Paul is saying that rejoicing is to be a continuous, repetitive, ongoing reality in our lives. But just in case his readers didn’t get the point, Paul adds the word “always.” And if they missed that cue, Paul very intentionally repeats himself. “I say it again: Rejoice!” Yes, Paul is being rather emphatic—if indeed you can be rather emphatic.
So, can you actually rejoice continually? Yes, I think you can. I’ve known a few people who have pulled it off. They rejoice continually, not because things are going well, but because they choose to be joyful people. They seem to rejoice in what they have and in what they do not have.
A friend of mine met with a bunch of us this morning through the magic of the Zoom teleconferencing app. He is a very active, athletic person who does not relish inactivity. I was kind of concerned about how this might affect him. I needn’t have worried. He was full of joy and enthusiasm. Seems he thinks that this coronavirus is a wonderful opportunity.
Maybe it is. Joy can be chosen on any given day. I am choosing joy today.
You?
“On Struggling to be Respectful”
“Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor.” (1 Peter 2:17)
In going back over my blog posts, I notice that I write a lot about respect, a.k.a. “honor”. There are many reasons for this. For one thing, we live in a very disrespectful society these days, and I’m trying to swim up current . For another thing, I think that respect or honor is very important. But I will tell you the main reason why I write so much about respect and honor: I struggle with it—a lot.
I suppose that I struggle with it in many ways and with many people. Struggles are like icebergs: Most of them are submerged and hidden. You only see how big they are when you hit them.
However, while I’m not sure of the depth of my disrespect problem, I can tell you that there are several politicians that I know I have a really difficult time honoring. There is one other person (not a politician) whom I struggle to respect.
At this point, I can almost hear you recite, dear reader, the common maxim, “Respect is not given. It has to be earned.” However, I believe, as a would-be Christ-follower, I am called to honor/respect everyone, as 1 Peter 2:17 says. But, unfortunately, I act as if I believed the common maxim, rather than believing 1 Peter 2:17. So, what do I really believe, if I don’t act on the basis of what I think God’s will is for me?
I would love to wiggle out of the “all” in 1 Peter 2:17, but I suspect that, by using the Greek word pan (“all”), Peter really meant all. It is tempting to try to do an end run around the command to honor all men, by saying that this actually means “all kinds of people.” However, does this really take me off the hook? I don’t think so. After all, all kinds of people would, I think, include all people. Yes?
I mentioned earlier in this post that there is one other person who is not a politician whom I struggle to respect. The problem with not respecting or honoring this person is that I am very close to this person. Very close. In fact, I am that person. I never quite come up to my lofty expectations. In fact, sometimes I don’t even come close. So, self-respect is an ongoing battle.
And yet, I suspect that the word “all” even embraces me.
But I hear someone protest, “But isn’t there some validity in the idea that respect should be earned?” Perhaps, but I doubt it.
However, there is another idea that sounds roughly similar, although I think there is a huge chasm that separates the true from the false. The truth, at least as I see, it this: Those who are given respect whether they’ve earned it or not, need to live in such a way as to live worthily of the gift of respect. I also suspect that those who are given this gift are also better positioned to live a worthy life.
My wife is giving me some cooking lessons. (Please pray for her—and for me!) In many arenas of life, the order of two things doesn’t matter. I don’t know much about cooking yet, but I am learning. One of the things I’ve learned is that, in some cases, the order in which ingredients are put into a concoction matters profoundly. If I, or anyone, puts the ingredients into whatever we’re making in the wrong order, things do not go well. Either the ingredients do not mix well, or they do not cook properly.
Of course, in the case of cooking, a ruined dish isn’t the end of the world. It may, in fact, be a valuable lesson. However, if a surgeon begins cutting on his patient before she has created a sterile field, things may not end well for the patient—or for the surgeon.
In the case of respect-as-a-gift and respect-as-a-challenge-to-live-worthily, I think the order matters supremely, as it does with a surgeon. It is the people who have given me the gift of respect, who have also invited to live worthily. I may or may not respond positively to the invitation, but it is important that I have received the invitation. Furthermore, when I am given the gift of respect I often also find the motivation to live a worthwhile live. I suspect that this is generally true.
Consider yourself, myself, and all selves as having been invited to this respect party!
R.S.V.P.
“Humor During a Serious Plague”
“All the days of the oppressed are wretched,
but he cheerful heart has a continual feast.” (Proverbs 15:15, New International Version)
Call it a “pandemic,” or call it by an old-fashioned name like a “plague,” or call it macaroni, if you like. This coronavirus outbreak is a serious matter. It needs to be treated as such. In fact, it is well past serious. It left serious in the rearview mirror weeks ago. It is now downright grim, and likely to become much grimmer.
However, even in times like these, humor is important. Perhaps especially in times like these, humor is essential.
So, today’s blog post—without glossing over how serious this plague-ish pandemic is—is going to risk (possibly) making you laugh.
First (and this is in the rather grim humor category), is an occurrence from a grocery store whose name shall remain anonymous. (I will give you a hint: An anagram for the name of the store is rekorg.)
I was in the coffee aisle, with my mask and latex gloves on, trying to find some flavored coffee. I usually buy whatever is cheapest at General Dollar, but I decided that, since the world was coming to an end, I would treat myself to some nicer coffee. As I was shelf-reading the coffee aisle, my eyes suddenly were jolted wide open, as if I had just had a double-shot of espresso. For there on the shelf was a coffee called—and I am not making this up—“DEATH WISH”! It even had the skull-and-crossbones on the package. Where do coffee companies come up with the names for all these specialty coffees? In view of what we are going through right now, this one should probably be retired.
Second story.
I was sitting in the rocker watching a rerun of Adam-12. Our little dog was on my lap. She jumped down. At the commercial break, I decided to look for her. I did not even have to get up. She was standing on the third step of the stairs, right beside the rocker, staring at me. “What does that look mean?” I asked. Of course, she did not answer in any language that I know.
“Come back down,” I said to the little black and white creature. She did. Then, she leapt back up in my lap, climbed up my arm onto my shoulders and neck, and began licking my bald head. I laughed and laughed. Apparently our little dog is not terribly intimidated by the coronavirus.
Third story.
I don’t know if Progressive is really good insurance or not, but they most certainly make good commercials. Take, for example, the bigfoot commercial. Before I make any comment, you need to have a look at the commercial, if you are not familiar with it. You may access it at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AeavqyDYQtQ.
My wife was very eager to show me this video. It may have been because she thinks I’m rather full of myself, and always want to be the center of attention. If this was her thought, she had the decency not to say so.
Or, of course, it may be because my name is Daryl. And yes, I’m afraid my feet really are pretty big. I am not writing a screen play, but I am a writer.
Go ahead and laugh! I dare you! In fact, I give you permission!
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