“What to Do When Falsely Accused”

“Accusations fit on a bumper sticker; the truth takes longer.”

Michael Hayden
(Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/accusation-quotes)

Well, I supposed that the first order of business is to make sure that I am being wrongly accused.  It is really easy to deny that I have done anything wrong.  If I do deny reality for more than a few seconds, I have already begun to believe that the lie that I’ve just told myself is reality.

And then, there is the matter of refusing to come up with a lot of “extenuating circumstances.”  For me, extenuating circumstances are usually just another name for excuses.  Extenuating circumstances are pesky as bedbugs: Fumigate your mind and mouth if you need to.

But there are times when accusations really are false.  What should be my attitude toward false accusations?

I can acknowledge that they hurt like hell.  That is because false accusations are from hell.

Then, I can make sure that I continue to live so that the accusations continue to be false.  Decades ago, I had a friend who was falsely accused of some things.  Her response was, “If I’m gonna wear the name, I might as well play the game!”  I don’t remember what I said to try to dissuade her from this approach, but the answer that just came to me (some forty years later) is, “If you play the game just because someone thinks you should wear the name, you’ve already lost the game.”

Finally, when I am falsely accused, I might want to think of my own tendency to accuse others.  Do I really know what other people have done?  Do I really know why?

And, of course, there is one more important question: Even if the accusation is true, is it really my place to accuse this other person.  I need to remember that there is an ancient book that refers to the prince of evil, the devil, as “the accuser of the brethren.”  Do I really want to be on Satan’s team?

“On Not Turning Back to Folly”

“Psalm 85:9

I will listen for the word of God; surely the Lord will proclaim peace to his people, to the faithful, to those who trust in him.”

“Let me hear what God the LORD will speak,

                        for he will speak peace to his people, to his saints;

                        but let them not turn back to folly.”

(Psalm 85:8 The Holy Bible, English Standard Version)

https://accordance.bible/link/read/ESVS#Psa._85:8

My problem is that I want to trust God, and I want to hear God speak peace to me and to this weary world.  On the other hand, I really want to hang on to or return to just a little bit of folly.  But having a little folly in my heart and mind is like having a few small mice in my house.  Folly breeds folly—rapidly.  There are some things that are mutually exclusive.

Foolishness is not a good thing, according in the Old Testament.  Commenting on the adjective “foolish,” which is built off the same root as the word translated “foolishness” or “folly” in Psalm 85:8, one Hebrew lexicon has the following rundown on what the word suggests:

“. . . the kᵉsîl is not silent like the “wise”; rather his mouth reveals his “foolishness” (→ ʾᵉwîl 3; e.g., 12:23; 13:16; 14:7, 33; 15:2, 14; 18:2; 29:11, 20), and his false, evil (→ raʿ ) heart (15:7; 19:1; cf. Eccl 10:2) leads others “into conflict” and is a “downfall” and “trap” for the kᵉsîl himself (18:6f.; cf. 10:18). He spreads evil gossip (10:18), is dangerous to his neighbors (13:20; 17:12), disdains his mother (15:20), is grief and misfortune for his parents (10:1; 17:21, 25; 19:13). He is useless (26:6; cf. v 10; Eccl 10:15b) and takes pleasure in acts of shame (Prov 10:23; 13:19). He hates “knowledge” (1:22; 18:2) and is “wise” in his own eyes (26:5, 12; 28:26), an attitude that only more sharply emphasizes his folly.”[1]

This is not exactly the portrait of the man I want to be.  It is, however, a snapshot of the man I sometimes am.

So, what will it be?  Will I return to folly or not?  Will I choose to set myself up to hear God’s words of peace and well-being, or will I return to foolishness?  Today—probably many times today—I will need to make my choice.  May I, may you, choose wisely and choose wisdom!


[1]M. Sæbø, “כְּסִיל,” TLOT, 2:621.

https://accordance.bible/link/read/Jenni-Westermann#7055

“Intimacy and Vulnerability”

Most of the wisdom I have (perhaps all of it) comes from other people.  One of the guys in my 12-step group who usually criticizes himself for talking too much and rambling gives me a lot of wisdom.  And no, he does not talk too much or ramble.

We were talking about three topics this morning, two of which were intimacy and vulnerability.  Intimacy is not simply—or even mainly—about sex.  Of course sexual intimacy is . . . well . . ., very intimate, but there are lots of other kinds of intimacy.

My friend, the non-rambler, gave me two wonderful sentences that connected and summed up these two topics nicely.

“Intimacy is showing yourself to someone.

Vulnerability is the cost and the risk of showing yourself to someone.”

It’s quite true!  Being willing to show your true self is a risky business.  Will the other person reject the real you?  Will they talk to others about your self-revelation?  Intimacy is far more scary than roller coasters, and I’m terrified of roller coasters.

We have a God who knows us inside and out, and who also welcomes us just as we are, with all our weaknesses.

“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

(Hebrews 4:12–16 The Holy Bible, English Standard Version)

https://accordance.bible/link/read/ESVS#Heb._4:12

Perhaps if we realized that, we might be a little more likely to risk intimacy with our fellow human beings.

“Strategic Retreat”

Rabbi Abraham said:

I have learned a new form of service from the wars of Frederick, king of Prussia.  It is not necessary to approach the enemy in order to attack him.  In fleeing from him, it is possible to circumvent him as he advances, and fall on him from the rear until he is forced to surrender.  What is needed is not to strike straight at Evil but to withdraw to the sources of divine power, and from there to circle around Evil, bend it, and transform it into its opposite.  (Martin Buber, Tales of the Hasidim: Early Masters)

Good counsel!  Too often, we (I) try to tackle the enemies and problems in our lives head on.  George MacDonald said that, whenever we try to do things without God, one of two things happen: Either we fail miserably, or we succeed even more miserably.

My dad was a good farmer, but he was an excellent repairman of farm equipment.  I’ve watched how he operated when there was a particularly difficult problem to solve.  He would stop, hum a little tune, light up a Camel cigarette, and look at what he was trying to fix from various angles.  He was withdrawing to his source of mechanical power, and falling on the problem from the rear (or from the side).  Except for the Camel cigarettes, I think my dad was on the right track.

When I can learn to take a similar approach consistently in the spiritual realm, I will be an even better man than I am right now.

“Keep Pursuing!”

“Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.”  (Hebrews 12:14 The Holy Bible, English Standard Version, https://accordance.bible/link/read/ESVS#Heb._12:14)

What are you pursuing?

The word translated “strive” in the verse that leads off this post is in the present tense in the original Greek.  The present tense in Greek usually represents an ongoing or continual action.  We are not to simply seek peace with other people, and holiness of life.  We are to seek peace and holiness continually.  Such pursuing is a pattern of life.  Indeed, such pursuing is a life-style.

We will all pursue something: money, fame, security, love, acceptance, significance, the acceptance of others, power, sex.  And no doubt, all those things have some goodness and validity as objects of pursuit.  However, such pursuit can easily become not so good.  In fact, such pursuits can become addictions.

But what about pursuing peace with everyone, as well as pursuing holiness?

Most of us probably know what peace might look like.  At least, we think we know that.  But what about holiness?  What is it?  Why is it necessary to pursue holiness in order to see the Lord?  How do I pursue holiness?  These are the questions that I am wrestling with these days.

This entire year, I am pursuing holiness.  It is my main word for the year.  (Choosing one word as my “word-of-the-year” is an idea that I picked up from Jon Gordon.  Thanks, Jon!)

  Hebrews 12:14, the verse that leads off this post, is my verse for the year.  I am committed to pursuing a deep understanding of this one verse—not an intellectual understanding only.  No!  I am committed to pursuing (there’s that word again!) holiness and this verse with every fiber of my being.

Care to join me?  Pursuits are more fun and more effective if you have companions!

“God, Us, and the Perfect Demonstration of Love”

“For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”

(Romans 5:6–11 The Holy Bible, English Standard Version, https://accordance.bible/link/read/ESVS#Rom._5:6, accessed 01-11-2020, bold font mine)

I struggle all the time, when it comes to the matter of believing that God still loves me.  That is why I write about God’s love and grace so much.  The reason is simple: Much of what I know about my history is not lovable.

And then, along comes the self-righteous, murderous Apostle Paul!  He reminds me that God loves and gives grace to sinners.

In Romans 5:8, Paul uses the perfect tense for the word that is translated “shows” in the English Standard Version.  (The King James Version has “commendeth,” if my memory serves me well.)

While the English Standard Version uses the English present tense, this does not fully convey what the Greek is saying.  The Greek perfect tense suggests an action completed in the past with ongoing results.  So, I would prefer something like the following, even though it is terribly awkward in English: “God has decisively demonstrated his love for us with ongoing results in this manner: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

“God has decisively demonstrated . . .”!  The death of Christ for all us sinners has been completed in the past.  There’s nothing I can do to undo that.  There is nothing I can do to outdo that either.

But this once-and-for-all demonstration of God’s love for us screw-ups is continually effective.  There is nothing that I can do to undo or outdo that, either.

I can’t wrap my mind around that kind of love, but I can welcome it into my heart.

“Blaming and Shaming versus Reframing and Renaming”

A wise young friend and I were talking this morning about why it is that we so often make bad choices.  A wise person not only says wise things, but also brings out the wisdom in others.  Something my friend said provoked me to say, “Instead of blaming and shaming ourselves, we need to be reframing and renaming.”

Sometimes, when we’re stuck, we just need to see things in a different light.  One way to see things differently is to reframe them.  In a sense, frames don’t change the picture.  However, they most certainly change how we view the picture.

And part of reframing is renaming.

Perhaps an example might help.  If I have framed and named certain questionable behaviors as “shortcuts” to significance or to feeling good, I might want to rename and reframe such “shortcuts.”  Perhaps I could rename such questionable behaviors as questionable behaviors.  (And, of course, if I have to ask too many questions about a particular behavior, I already know it’s wrong for me.  So, perhaps even “questionable behaviors” is not an adequate renaming.)

In a sense the renaming is the reframing.  And if I have correctly renamed and reframed something, I am more likely to see it as it truly is.

Renaming and reframing may not be transformation, but they may be steps toward transformation.  In any case, renaming and reframing are a darned sight better than shaming and blaming.

“The Moral of Morally Ambiguous Stories”

The Bible—especially the Old Testament—is full of stories that are full of moral ambiguity.  If you want nice little moralistic tales, don’t go to the Old Testament.  Read Aesop’s Fables, or something of that nature.  The Bible tells stories of another sort.

The words of Gordon J. Wenham about the deception of Isaac by Jacob are worth a lengthy quote.

26:34-28:9 Jacob cheats Esau of his blessing

This is one of the most gripping stories in Genesis. Will Jacob’s disguise deceive his father? Will he receive the blessing before Esau returns? But it also poses moral and theological problems. Does God approve of Jacob’s cheating? Will he endorse a blessing gained under false pretences?

            On first reading we tend to see Rebekah and Jacob just as rogues who exploited the blindness of Isaac to do down Esau. In fact the situation is not so black and white. Esau had married two wives, which was a bad step in itself (cf. Lamech, 4:19-24). Moreover, they were Hittites, i.e. Canaanites (see 23:3). Abraham had been most concerned that Isaac should not marry a Canaanite girl (24:3); why had not Isaac insisted on, or even arranged, a suitable match for Esau? Worse still, Isaac on his deathbed flouted convention and showed total bias towards Esau. When patriarchs knew their death was near, they were expected to summon all their sons and give them each a blessing (cf. chs. 48-50). Now, lamely pretending he does not know the day of his death (2), Isaac summoned only his favourite, Esau. No wonder Rebekah, who had long preferred Jacob (25:28), was incensed.

            It is not clear how far Jacob approved of Rebekah’s scheme to outwit Isaac and obtain the blessing. His reluctance to cooperate may have been prompted as much by fear of being caught out as by moral scruple (11-12). Nor is the narrator’s evaluation immediately obvious. Isaac was clear that his blessing was irrevocable: that since it was pronounced over Jacob it belonged to him (37).

            Yet in the longer term it is apparent that Jacob’s deceit caught up with him and Rebekah. Esau’s anger at Jacob’s deed forced the latter to leave home, so that despite Rebekah’s hope that he would only be away a few days (a while, v 44) she never saw him again. Jacob, who cheated his father, would soon be cheated by his father–in–law Laban, who would force him to marry Leah as well as Rachel. This would be a cause of perpetual distress to Jacob for the rest of his days. In their turn, Leah’s sons would deceive Jacob with a kid about Joseph’s fate, just as Jacob deceived his father with a kid (37:31-35; 27:9, 16). Later too, Jacob acknowledged his fault. When he returned to Canaan, he gave flocks and herds to Esau and invited him to accept them with the words ‘Please accept my blessing [the NIV’s ‘the present’ is inexact] that was brought to you’ (33:11). With this gesture he was trying to give back the blessing he had cheated Esau out of.

            Nevertheless, despite the underhand way in which Jacob obtained the blessing, it was still valid. Isaac’s last words predicted the future relationship between Jacob (Israel) and Esau (Edom). The nation of Israel would usually dominate Edom. Israel would enjoy a settled agricultural existence, whereas Edom would be more of a nomadic people in the dry wilderness areas (28-29,39-40). Furthermore, the promises made first to Abraham and repeated to Isaac, would now be fulfilled through Jacob (28:3-4).

            Here, as often in Genesis, this new step forward in the history of salvation is set against the backdrop of unscrupulous behaviour by the patriarchs involved. Once again, it is God’s mercy, not human merit, that is the ultimate hope of redemption (cf. Rom. 9:10-18).”[1]

My own thoughts on the story of Jacob are pretty much in line with those of Wenham.  God uses even morally ambiguous people to accomplish God’s purposes.  What other kind of people are there, really?

And yet, no one gets a free pass.  We cannot play the “moral ambiguity card” as a get-out-of-jail-free card.  No!  There are consequences to our choices, and we can’t pick and choose them.  Once we’ve made our choice, the consequences are inevitable.

And, of course, a lot of “moral ambiguity” isn’t all that ambiguous, is it?  I know this only too well.  I imagine we all do, in our heart of hearts.


[1]G.J. Wenham, Genesis, New Bible Commentary: 21st Century Edition; ed. D. A Carson et al.; Accordance electronic ed. (Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 1994), 78-79.

https://accordance.bible/link/read/IVP-NB_Commentary#1081

“Make It Real!”

A wise young friend of mine is fond of the mantra, “Make it real!”  I am not sure if he prefers it with an exclamation mark, but I think that it deserves one.

It is a good reminder for all of us who are better at thinking and speaking (or writing), but not so good on follow-through.  Actually, my friend is very good at follow-through, in my judgment, but he is probably wise to remind himself with this make-it-real challenge to himself.

Making it real isn’t the easiest thing in the world, however.  Faking it is much more popular.  Many of us feel that reality sucks, most of the time.  Perhaps we’re right; maybe it does.

But making it real is not a matter of feeling good.  Reality rarely feels good initially.  But committing ourselves to the real is, I think, a much better long-term strategy.

But the word “make” is as important as the word “real.”  Reality is something that lands in our lap.  Reality is something we do, something we make.

To be content with mere thought, with nice feelings, with wise words—this is not enough.  We were made to make.  And what we were made to make is reality.

My mom was awfully fond of the saying, “Pretty is as pretty does.”  Perhaps we need a similar saying for the real.  Something like “Real is as real is made.”

“Don’t Look Back!”

“But Lot’s wife, behind him, looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.”

(Genesis 19:26 The Holy Bible, English Standard Version)

https://accordance.bible/link/read/ESVS#Gen._19:26.

“Remember Lot’s wife.”  (Luke 17:32, my translation.  Jesus is warning his disciples about the difficulties in their future, and Jesus is encouraging them to persevere.)

Leon Morris comments as follows on Luke 17:32:

Lot’s wife came as close to deliverance without achieving it as was possible. She was brought right out of the doomed city and set on the way to safety. But she looked back and lingered, evidently in longing for the delights she was leaving behind. In the process she was caught up in the destruction that overtook Sodom and she perished with the city (Gen. 19:26).[1]

I have always thought along these lines.  Lot’s wife was looking back because of her longing for “the good times” in the past.  Perhaps that was indeed her motivation.  (Looking back is often called “nostalgia.”  Perhaps we should label it instead “sin” or “stupidity” or something else?)

However, this interpretation of Mrs. Lot’s motivation ignores one crucial aspect of the original story contained in Genesis 19, as well as one crucial aspect of Jesus’ words themselves.  We are not told, either in Genesis 19 or in Luke 17:32, Lot’s wife’s motivation.  Imputing motives is not wise, when we are doing so in our everyday, contemporary lives.  Perhaps it is not a good idea in our biblical interpretation either.

Furthermore, in Genesis 19:17, when the angel warned Lot, his wife, and their daughters not to look back, the angel did not speak of motivation.  The command is very specific: Don’t look back! No proviso about motivation at all!

So, maybe Lot’s wife looked back with regret for the time she had spent there.  Or perhaps she was looking back with contempt toward the cities and their inhabitants.

Now, Lot’s wife speaks to me, because she speaks of me.  I have struggled with nostalgia (and also with regret) since I was just a boy.  The problem hasn’t gotten better with time.

So, what is wrong with looking back?  Not a thing!  Except that it prevents me from focusing on God and on the things that I need to be doing right now.  Then there is the fact that an angel in the Old Testament, and Jesus in the New, who say, “Don’t look back!” and “Remember Lot’s wife!”

Don Henley has a song called “The Boys of Summer.”  (Listen to a more contemplative version of the song, as part of a Howard Stern Show at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoxEcD4PCco, accessed 01-02-2020.)  In this song, Henley says, “Don’t look back!  You can never look back.”

Maybe you can look back.  Certainly, I can.  The question is should you—should I—look back?  I could, but I think I’ll make a different decision. This year I am choosing to look forward, upward, and at . . ., and not so much back!


[1]Leon Morris, Luke: An Introduction and Commentary, TNTC 3; IVP/Accordance electronic ed. (Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 1988), 278.

https://accordance.bible/link/read/Tyndale_Commentary#44639
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