“Invitations, Not Commands”
I have a confession. As you may well have noticed, almost all my posts are stolen from other people. I usually give the giver credit. Sometimes I forget the source. As someone has said, “Originality just means that you’ve forgotten your source.” (See what I did there? As someone has said, . . .!) Today’s post is based on an early-morning phone conversation with my friend Jack.
He was telling me that in a prayer group, they were telling one another stories about a wonderful friend who was their priest. He had just died, and they were remembering what a good impact he had on each of them. As they shared, Jack realized that this priest and everyone else who had had a good influence on him had one thing in common: “The people who are the solutions, the people who have helped me to grow, are people who have given me invitations, not commands.” That was a wonderful insight that Jack gave me. That Jack included me in this group who give invitations rather than commands was also quite wonderful.
But my mind is prone to wander—as well as to wonder—and my mind turned in the direction of Jesus. This is not a bad form of wander or wonder, in my opinion.
Certainly, Jesus gave commands. At least, they were in the imperative in the original Greek of the New Testament. That is to say, they were in the imperative grammatically. But I wonder if it might be more helpful, and even more accurate, to think of Jesus’ “commands” as invitations.
“Come follow me!” Jesus said to many. Invitation or command? Perhaps both, but I suspect that the disciples thought of it more as an invitation. Were there hard things in following Jesus? Absolutely! There still are hard things about following Jesus. Most invitations involve some difficulties. The more important the invitation, the greater the difficulties.
But the bottom line for me is this: Who is better to follow than Jesus is? And my answer, when I am thinking straight, is pretty straightforward: No one!
My wife is a fantastic cook. When she calls me to come and eat, it is a command in form, but in content and in spirit, it is an invitation to experience joy and to be nourished. So it is with Jesus. So, in some measure, it is with certain friends as well. But I believe that Jesus is the Great Inviter.
Thank you, Jack! I love you too!
“A Long Slow Series of Clicks”
“Follow me!” (Jesus)
“I believe in you, Jesus.” (Me)
“Good! Now follow me!” (Jesus)
A friend of mine has gotten super-serious about recovering from addiction. He used to feel that he was “terminally unique.” God loved everyone else in the universe, except for him. He felt like a mistake.
And then, my friend wrote something in his email report that I will never forget, something that will haunt and prod and help me to my dying day. “Thankfully by some grace of some power bigger than myself that I don’t understand, something clicked eventually, and it’s been a long slow series of clicks since then.”
Something clicked. Yes! But there are also those long, slow subsequent clicks. Recovery from addiction, learning Spanish (or anything else), the quest for wisdom, dieting—any good thing you can name—involve something clicking. But more importantly, all good things involve a number of slow clicks.
I once read something to the effect that, for too many people, “the Christian faith is often a sudden spasm followed by a long lethargy.” (Or was it “. . . followed by a long paralysis”?) That is not really the Christian faith, but a pale imitation of it. It is sometimes called “easy believe-ism”, but I prefer to call it just plain false.
Jesus did not speak simply of believing in him. He also spoke of following him. It was one of the main ways in which Jesus spoke of the life to which he was calling his disciples, then and now. With only one exception, Jesus’ call to be his disciple/s is in the present tense in Greek. The present tense connotes ongoing, repetitive, life-style actions. A good question for disciples of Christ to ask every day and many times during the day is this: Am I following Jesus right now?
May we all keep clicking along in our followership today!
“Redeemed”
“Is. 44:21 Remember these things, O Jacob,
and Israel, for you are my servant;
I formed you; you are my servant;
O Israel, you will not be forgotten by me.
22 I have blotted out your transgressions like a cloud
and your sins like mist;
return to me, for I have redeemed you.
Is. 44:23 Sing, O heavens, for the LORD has done it;
shout, O depths of the earth;
break forth into singing, O mountains,
O forest, and every tree in it!
For the LORD has redeemed Jacob,
and will be glorified in Israel.” (Isaiah 44:21-23, English Standard Version)
At our worship service yesterday, the praise team sang a song that always goes for my heart and tear ducts: “Redeemed”. (The song was written by Mike Weaver and Benji Cowart and performed originally by Big Daddy Weave.) Here are the lyrics:
“Redeemed”
“Seems like all I could see was the struggle
Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past
Bound up in shackles of all my failures
Wondering how long is this gonna last
Then You look at this prisoner and say to me “son
Stop fighting a fight that’s already been won”
I am redeemed, You set me free
So I’ll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I’m not who I used to be
I am redeemed, I’m redeemed
All my life I have been called unworthy
Named by the voice of my shame and regret
But when I hear You whisper, “Child lift up your head”
I remember, oh God, You’re not done with me yet
I am redeemed, You set me free
So I’ll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I’m not who I used to be
Because I don’t have to be the old man inside of me
‘Cause his day is long dead and gone
Because I’ve got a new name, a new life, I’m not the same
And a hope that will carry me home
I am redeemed, You set me free
So I’ll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, ’cause I’m not who I used to be
I am redeemed, You set me free
So I’ll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, yeah, I’m not who I used to be
Oh, God, I’m not who I used to be
Jesus, oh I’m not who I used to be
‘Cause I am redeemed
Thank God, redeemed
Thank God, redeemed”
I do believe that God has bought me back and brought me back from the evils I had been enslaved to in the past. I am indeed not the man I used to be. And that is very good news!
However, I often feel the weight of the chains. Sometimes I think that I willingly feel their weight. Why? I don’t know, but I have some suspicions.
Suspicion # 1: I am afraid that, if I don’t hang onto some of my chains, I might get overly confident. As one of our twelve-step sayings goes, “You can always go back for some more pain.” I think that I might go back if I forget how painful “back” really is to me and to others.
Suspcion #2: I might be just wanting to get attention and sympathy. Ouch! I have to write things down sometimes to see how sick they actually sound—and also, how true they sound.
However, no matter what the reason is that I hang on to my sordid past, God calls me to walk through this day in a way that honors God, is helpful to others, and in a way that I can enjoy. That means traveling light. So, just for today, I am indeed shaking off these heavy chains ’cause I’m not who I used to be. I am redeemed!
DTEB, “Delight in Doing What God Wants”
“Psa. 40:0 To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David.
Psa. 40:1 I uwaited patiently for the LORD;
he inclined to me and vheard my cry.
2 He drew me up from wthe pit of destruction,
out of xthe miry bog,
and yset my feet upon a rock,
zmaking my steps secure.
3 He put aa new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.
Many will bsee and fear,
and put their trust in the LORD.
Psa. 40:4 Blessed is the man who cmakes
the LORD his trust,
who does not turn to the proud,
to those who dgo astray after a lie!
5 You have multiplied, O LORD my God,
your ewondrous deeds and your fthoughts toward us;
none can compare with you!
I will proclaim and tell of them,
yet they are gmore than can be told.
Psa. 40:6 hIn sacrifice and offering you have not delighted,
but you have given me an open iear.1
Burnt offering and sin offering
you have not required.
7 Then I said, “Behold, I have come;
in the scroll of the book it is written jof me:
8 kI delight to do your will, O my God;
your law is lwithin my heart.”
Psa. 40:9 I have told the glad news of deliverance2
in mthe great congregation;
behold, I have not nrestrained my lips,
oas you know, O LORD.
10 I have not hidden your deliverance within my heart;
I have spoken of your faithfulness and your salvation;
I have not concealed your steadfast love and your faithfulness
from the great congregation.
Psa. 40:11 As for you, O LORD, you will not restrain
your mercy from me;
your psteadfast love and your faithfulness will
ever preserve me!
12 For evils have qencompassed me
beyond number;
my riniquities have overtaken me,
and I cannot ssee;
they are tmore than the hairs of my head;
my heart ufails me.
Psa. 40:13 vBe pleased, O LORD, to wdeliver me!
O LORD, xmake haste to help me!
14 yLet those be put to shame and disappointed altogether
who seek to snatch away my life;
let those be zturned back and brought to dishonor
who delight in my hurt!
15 Let those be appalled because of their shame
who asay to me, “Aha, Aha!”
Psa. 40:16 But may all who seek you
rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who love your salvation
bsay continually, “Great is the LORD!”
17 As for me, I am cpoor and needy,
but dthe Lord takes thought for me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
do not delay, O my God!” (Psalm 40, English Standard Version)
I read the following as part of my 12-step readings for today:
“And in the willing of God’s will there should be gladness. You should delight to do that will because when you do, all your life goes right and everything tends to work well for you in the long run. When you are honestly trying to do God’s will and humbly accepting the results, nothing can seriously hurt you. Those who accept the will of God in their life may not inherit the earth, but they will inherit real peace of mind.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may have a yielded will. I pray that my will may be attuned to the will of God.” (From Twenty-Four Hours a Day © 1975 by Hazelden Foundation.)
To delight in doing the will of God—what a concept! I’m afraid a lot of us, even mature believers who ought to know better, tend to think of God’s will as a stern thing. God’s will can certainly feel that way at times.
And yet, I have noticed that, when I do what I know or suspect to be God’s will, things do indeed go better for me. It as if God loves me better and knows me better than I love and know myself. I’ve often tried following my own will. I still do a good bit of the time. It never seems to end well.
Maybe I should remove the “as if” qualifier from my previous sentence about God’s love for and knowledge of me. Maybe I should also remove the word “maybe” from my preceding sentence.
“Estimable Acts”
Sometimes, in twelve-step meetings, we talk about the importance of self-esteem. I had a sponsor some years ago who encouraged me to do estimable acts. I didn’t think that I could do any highly estimable acts, but he was too smart and quick for me. As soon as I blurted out my low opinion of my abilities to do high and heroic stuff, he said, “Well then,” he said, “do some lowly estimable acts.”
The word “estimable” has two meanings: “capable of being estimated” and “worthy of esteem”. I estimate that the second meaning is the richer of the two.
So, I decided to do some estimable acts today. Here is a partial list:
Esteemable Acts
- Did 12-step report.
- Recorded audio from 12-step book and sent it out to a few friends.
- Graded several assignments for my class.
- Did several Spanish lessons.
- Printed off a journal article that one of my students is using for his paper. It promises to be worth reading.
- Fed the dog.
- Fed myself some good, nutritious food.
- Walked and ran two miles.
- Laylah went with me.
- Played with the toy fox with Laylah.
- Did stretches and weights.
- Went to a virtual 12-step. meeting.
- Replied to a friend’s email report.
- Read some Scripture.
- Read a bit of Cohick’s good commentary on Ephesians.
- Made my bed.
- Made Sharon’s bed.
- Cleaned up the dog’s poop.
- Gave the dog a treat for pooping.
- Shaved.
- Mowed the yard.
- Planted an apple core in the backyard. (I doubt it will prosper, but who knows?)
- Hosed off the lower deck.
- Did dishes.
- Took a shower.
- Texted with a 12-step friend.
- Dusted a bit upstairs.
- Took a call from a friend. (I promised him I would post a blog post today. By golly, here it is!)
Yes, I know: these are very simple mundane things. Fair enough! But perhaps most of the estimable things in the world are simple mundane things. Maybe these simple things are what makes the world a livable place.
What teeny tiny estimable acts are you doing these days? To have healthy self-esteem, there is no substitute for doing estimable acts.
. . . The End (or maybe not!)
After writing the first draft of this, I couldn’t post it immediately because my website was being uncooperative. So, I sent it as an attachment to the good friend whose phone conversation gave me the nudge I needed to write and post. He wrote to thank me and used the word “esteemable” instead of “estimable”. I am not the best speller in the world, so I thought to myself, “Huh! Apparently the word can be spelled either way.”
So, I did what most of us do these days, for better and for worse: I googled the words. At the website https://thecontentauthority.com/blog/esteemable-vs-estimable, I discovered that, at least according to one fellow word nerd, there are two separate words with related but different meanings. Here is what this site says:
“Esteemable is an adjective that describes something or someone who is worthy of respect or admiration. It can also refer to something that is considered valuable or important. For example, a person who consistently demonstrates honesty, integrity, and kindness can be described as esteemable. Similarly, an accomplishment that required significant effort and skill can be considered esteemable.”
. . .
“Estimable is also an adjective that describes something or someone who is deserving of respect or admiration. However, it specifically refers to a quality or characteristic that is worthy of esteem or high regard. For instance, a person who possesses estimable qualities such as intelligence, creativity, and leadership skills is highly regarded and respected by others. Similarly, an action or achievement that demonstrates exceptional skill or talent can be considered estimable.”
So, in light of all this, I would say that my friend used the right word for the deeds I did which are esteemable.
I thought about changing the title and replacing all the estimables, but decided not to do so. Why? The reason is that I suspect that people who have estimable characteristics and character also do esteemable actions. And the converse is also true, I think. People who do esteemable actions are or become estimable. I am trying to become one of those becomers!
“On Aging Well”
The best is yet to be,
The last of life, for which the first was made:
Our times are in His hand
Who saith “‘A whole I planned,
Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!’”
(Robert Browning, “Rabbi Ben Ezra”)
I am not aging well, and it’s my own fault. As someone has said, “Aging is inevitable. Getting old is optional.” I am definitely getting old.
Why am I getting old, rather than aging well? There are at least two reasons, I suspect.
For one thing, I am resisting the natural process of aging. “What you resist persists,” we say in 12-step work. However, when I resist natural processes like aging, the frustration with the process doesn’t simply persist. It grows. Furthermore, since I believe that it is God who ordained the process of aging (at least since the Garden of Eden), when I resist aging, I am resisting God. Resisting God can be done, I believe, but it takes a lot of energy and does not serve me well.
Second, in addition to wearing myself out resisting God and the process of aging, I am not taking care of my mind, soul, spirit, and body as I should. I am not eating wisely, not exercising regularly, not sleeping well, not reading the Sacred Scriptures enough, not reading other good things enough, not listening to really good music, not laughing enough, not praying, not meditating, not serving and being kind to others enough. I am playing way too much online chess, reading way too much bad news, not getting enough fresh air and time in nature. I am not present enough with Sharon and Laylah and friends. I am not present enough with God.
But it seems to me that this confession is the beginning of a new leg of my renewal and my recovery of my better self. No problem can ever be solved that has not been fully faced. Within this confession—even within the rather negative bits of it—are the seeds of some very positive changes that I can make on a day-to-day, moment-by-moment basis.
Today, I begin the process of learning to age more gracefully.
“Broad and Aspirational, or Specific and Perspirational?”
“I never could have done what I have done without the habits of punctuality, order, and diligence, without the determination to concentrate myself on one subject at a time.” (Charles Dickens, https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/diligence-quotes)
For several years now, I have been doing daily affirmations to begin my day. Here was yesterday’s affirmation:
“Today, with God’s help and the help of a lot of good people, I am putting one foot in front of the other in the direction of the man that I think God wants me to be.”
However, in today’s report, I wrote, “I didn’t do super well with this one, I think. Perhaps it was a bit too broad and aspirational, rather than specific and perspirational.”
It’s good to have broad and healthy aspirations for ourselves, but when it comes right down to it, it comes right down to doing the right thing right now. The specific word, attitude, and/or action for the eternal NOW is where it’s going on.
And, of course, this involves perspiration. My spell checker doesn’t seem to think that “perspirational” is a word. However, I am adding it in my living vocabulary for today. Therefore, here is my perspirational affirmation for today:
Today, I will:
- finish this report and send it,
- work out physically,
- grade the rest of the assignments that have been turned in by students,
- act in a loving and helpful way toward my wife,
- write and post on my website, and
- study Spanish.
Not very inspirational, perhaps, but the perspiration is definitely there!
“Letting Our Death Inform Our Life”
A week ago today, a horrific event took place in our neighborhood. About 200 yards from where we live, a man murdered his wife. Two days later, he confessed to the crime and took his own life when the police came to arrest him. This has, of course, shaken our quiet community to its core.
What could cause a man to make this kind of decision? Who knows? The desire to control other people, anger when we can’t, our own evil hearts—again I ask, who knows?
The Bible is not an optimistic book when it comes to human nature. According to Jeremiah 17:9-10,
“Jer. 17:9 ¶ The heart is deceitful above all things,
and desperately sick;
who can understand it?”
And then, God answers his own question.
“Jer. 17:10 “I the LORD search the heart
and test the mind,
to give every man according to his ways,
according to the fruit of his deeds.”
I think that the thing that unsettles us/me the most is the unwelcome suspicion that we ourselves might be capable of terrible acts of violence. We like to flatter ourselves with lies about how we would never do such a violent thing. Then, we get in our cars, somebody cuts us off on the interstate and a murderous rage hijacks our brain.
Perhaps one thing that might help us to live better is to realize that this might very well be the last day we get to live. A friend of mine pointed this out in an email just this morning by sending me his thoughts about a reading from the American Indian website “White Bison”:
“Reflection on white bison 8/30- ‘My life is run by choices and decisions. Every choice I make today will carry with it the consequences of that choice. Every decision I make today will carry with it the consequences of that decision. The question I will ask myself today is, ‘Do I want to be happy or do I want to be right?’ Which ever one I choose will have a lot to do with the consequences I will experience today. If today was the last day of my life, what choices and what decisions would I make? Oh Great Spirit, guide my path today and help me see the value of choosing the Red Road.”
My friend goes on, “I love that question about if this was the last day of my life. As much as I’m around death, I feel like I haven’t really asked myself that in a long time. The human feeling that “it can’t happen to me” is persistent. How would I want to live though if it was really my last day? Man, I’d cherish it. I’d want to be present and open and loving. I’d just want to love everyone and everything. Serenity, peace, acceptance, sacred awe, joy, connection, humility, tenderness, vulnerability. That’s the good stuff!”
I’d make the decision to stay in the good stuff. I should try that tomorrow. Remind myself that I’m going to die and let that inform how I live my day.”
Yes indeed! That is the good stuff! And the good stuff, along with the realization that it could well be gone before the day is through, may keep us and other people alive and well for another day.
“Burning my Black Robe”
“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;” (Luke 6:37 English Standard Version)
I like to think of myself as not being very judgmental. This is true—as long as you see things the same way I do and don’t do anything that irritates me. In other words, I am very judgmental. I don’t like judgmental people. A lot of my self-dislike and self-criticism flow from my tendency to judge.
When it came to judging, Jesus had some very direct words: “Don’t do it!” Leon Morris has some good observations on vs. 37.
“Jesus’ opposition to our judging other people is put in a peremptory command, Judge not. He goes on to the consequence, you will not be judged. A similar injunction to avoid condemning follows and an instruction to forgive. In all this Jesus is not of course rejecting legal processes. He has in mind not law-courts but the all-too-common practice of assuming the right to criticize and condemn one’s neighbours. This, he says, we must not do. It is not quite clear whether you will not be judged refers to the present judgment people pass or the future judgment of God or both. If we are harsh with our judgments on other people we generally find that they return the compliment and we ourselves are widely condemned, whereas if we do not pass judgment on others our neighbours are slow to condemn us. But the words apply also to more permanent consequences. The person who judges others invites the judgment of God upon himself. It is the one with the forgiving attitude who is forgiven. This is not salvation by merit: rather the thought is that the true disciple is not judgmental. When God accepts people God’s grace changes them. A forgiving spirit is evidence that the person has been forgiven.”[1]
So, I am going to make a serious attempt over time, beginning today, to be more aware of when I feel like judging. Then, I’m going to shut my mouth and think about what would happen if God judged me the way I am inclined to judge my fellow-sinner. I’m going to burn my black judge’s robe. It never fit me well anyway.
[1]Leon Morris, Luke: An Introduction and Commentary, TNTC 3; IVP/Accordance electronic ed. (Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 1988), 152.
“On Loving My Stomach”
“Eph. 5:29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,” (Ephesians 5:29, English Standard Version)
This morning, I looked in the mirror at my stomach, thought about my need to get in better shape, and said, “Goodbye, stomach!” And then I said, “No! Hello, and I love you, stomach!” I thought of all the work my faithful stomach has done over the decades and felt the need to honor it. Perhaps this was, at least in part, because a friend’s spouse is having terrible digestive track problems.
I thought to myself, “I am not going to get rid of my excess belly fat by being mean to and unappreciative of my stomach. The truth is that I need to honor my stomach and take some of the pressure off it by eating more wisely.”
A shift like that in my thinking is no small change. In fact, it is a quantum leap. When I was a scrawny little kid, I came to hate my body. I was too skinny. Later, I was a bit overweight. Then, I became more than a bit overweight. I don’t remember ever being just right. It must have happened at 2:00 a.m. when I was asleep.
The Apostle Paul, in the verse that leads off this post, says that no one hates his own flesh, but cherishes it. I suppose, in a sense, that’s true. If someone pointed a gun at my head, if I had time to think about it, I would probably cherish my flesh a great deal.
However, at least nowadays, there are a lot of us who struggle with our body image and with body hatred. But hatred does not fuel positive change. Love does.
Admittedly, I am taking Paul’s words about loving our physical bodies completely out of context. The context is that Paul is writing about how wives and husbands should regard and treat one another. He says that a husband and wife become one body. Therefore—and Paul is speaking particularly to the husbands here—husbands should love and cherish their wives as they cherish their own bodies.
Furthermore, Paul can’t help bringing Jesus into the mix by saying, “And, oh by the way, the relationship between a husband a wife is to be a lived-out parable reflecting how Christ loves and cherishes the church.” Nevertheless, as Paul goes on to make clear, he is talking about how husbands should treat their wives.
So, the business of a man cherishing his own body is tertiary to what is going on in Paul’s letter to the Ephesians. Still, I think there is more than a little truth in the idea that we should honor God with our bodies. Do you want a specific verse where this is the main point? I can provide that, also courtesy of the Apostle Paul!
“1Cor. 6:19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,
1Cor. 6:20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” (ESV)
Now, I am going to have a handful of blueberries before I go out and get some exercise. Okay, stomach? Love you!
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