“E.G.R.”
“For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.” (John 1:16, King James Veresion)
“We all live off his generous abundance,
gift after gift after gift.” (John 1:16, The Message)
The other day, a friend of mine spoke of “E.G.R.” people. Before I could ask, my friend explained: Extra Grace Required. My friend very quickly added that she is sometimes an E.G.R. person.
Frankly, we are all E.G.R. people. Think of the kindest, most consistent person you know. Yes, even that person sometimes needs extra grace. Put two people together who both need extra grace at that moment, and you’ve got trouble. You might even have World War III.
The Gospel writer John says that, in Jesus Christ, we have grace after grace. What is grace? Someone has said it this way, comparing and contrasting mercy and grace: Mercy is not getting the punishment we deserve, and grace is getting the good things we don’t deserve. Grace is something we all need. John seems to be saying here that there is a boundless supply of grace in Jesus.
The Bible is very plain about what we are to do with this grace. We are to receive it, rejoice in it, and pass it along. Sometimes we all want to throw a dam across this river of grace. Most of us see our need for grace, but we don’t want to let the river flow. That won’t do. Jesus said to his original disciples, “Freely you have received. Freely give.” He says the same to you and me.
“A Non-Anxious Day and Life”
A friend of mine has some major decisions to make, and he is battling some anxiety. However, this morning he shot me an email, and it sounds as if he is remembering to pray and breathe and do the next right thing. Here is my reply to his email:
“Dear ________________,
It seems to me that you are refusing to be anxious about your anxiety. Well not done!
And well done!
In the moment, there is never any problem. There is either something we must do, something we must undergo, or something that is a mixture of doing and undergoing. I also need to remember this.
You are running well. Keep putting one foot in front of the other.”
I need to remember my own wise words today. I also need to remember what Jesus said: “Be not anxious.”
But often my own anxiety makes me anxious. It doesn’t have to. I can choose to turn my will and my life over to the care of God. I can do what I need to do in this moment. If I can’t stop the rain, I can endure it. I grew up on a farm. I never saw a cow killed by the rain, even a cold one. They just stood there looking thoughtful, but not necessarily miserable. As someone has said, “Suffering is inevitable; misery is not.”
“Persistent Scatterbrain”
“22 Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear!
23 Those who hear and don’t act are like those who glance in the mirror,
24 walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like.
25 But whoever catches a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God – the free life! – even out of the corner of his eye, and sticks with it, is no distracted scatterbrain but a man or woman of action. That person will find delight and affirmation in the action.” (James 1:22-25, The Message Bible)
I bet you didn’t know the expression “distracted scatterbrain” was in the Bible, did you? Of course, it isn’t in the original Greek of James 1:25, but I think that Eugene Peterson has captured what James is driving at here. James is talking about people who may listen (sort of) to God’s Word, but who don’t follow through by doing what God’s Word says.
Too often, that would be me unfortunately. It doesn’t even have to be God’s Word. My wife asks me to do something, and I say, “Of course, sweetheart!” And then I forget.
In some areas of my life, I’m persistent, but it is a struggle. Unfortunately, I am sometimes persistent in doing the wrong things—or at least things that don’t matter. But when I am persistent in doing good things, I do indeed, as The Message says, “. . . find delight and affirmation in the action.”
I have to do things over and over to get the hang of them. Probably, everyone does. Focus doesn’t do it for me. For this scatterbrain, persistence is the only thing that works. Some experts on the matter speak of “muscle memory”. I think that’s a wonderful expression. Sometimes our muscles remember things that our conscious minds do not. I need to develop my spiritual muscle memory!
Perhaps God doesn’t so much seek consistency as He seeks persistence.
God, help me, help us all, to not worry so much about being scatterbrained. Instead, help us be persistent, even if we’re more than a little scattered.
“My Character Defects and God’s Garden”
“Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” (Step 6 of 12-step programs.)
“Today, by the grace of my good God, I am ready to have God remove all my character defects. I am practicing this readiness on a moment-by-moment basis.” (A recent daily affirmation from yours truly.)
I continued my report with the following comment:
“I believe that I was indeed ready, and that God did help me to act on my defects. I have a suspicion that they are always there. Perhaps God doesn’t take them away entirely. Perhaps, with God’s ongoing presence, and my ongoing commitment to their removal and letting God work on me, my character defects will stay in remission.”
My sponsor responded to my email report with a question and a suggestion. “How about next time ask God to help you work on your gifts and strengths? Focus on the good within you.”
Good idea!
My lawn guy was here today. He informs me that the main thing is to keep the grass healthy and strong. “If we do that,” he says, “the grass will take care of choking out the weeds.”
My lawn guy is not my sponsor, but he and my sponsor seem to see eye-to-eye on this one. Maybe I put too much emphasis on dealing with my character defects and not enough focus on nourishing my good qualities. Perhaps asking God to grow my good qualities is the best way to ask God to remove my character defects.
What are your character strengths? How could God and you together grow those strengths even more? These are good questions for me to ask myself. Perhaps you might try asking these questions yourself.
“Respecting My Own Values”
This is a reprint of one of my early blog posts. Tomorrow, I’ll be fresher I hope, and so will the post be! I enjoyed reading this again. I hope you do too.
“He makes peace in your borders . . .” (Psalm 147:14, New American Bible, 1995).”
Have you noticed how many sayings we have about borders, boundaries, and related concepts?
“That’s your problem, not mine!”
“You’re not respecting my boundaries!”
“There is a line I will not cross.”
“He/she/I is/am pushing the boundaries.”
And so on!
We all want other people to respect our boundaries. Whole books have been written about this issue. That’s good! It is important that people respect our boundaries. I suspect that books which tell us how to respect the boundaries of others are less popular. I also suspect that less popular equals more needed.
But perhaps the most important topic is being at peace with our own boundaries. I’m not sure I’ve seen lots of books written on that topic.
Psalm 147:14a literally says, “He [that is, God] makes your borders peace.”
This is a very terse verse, and can be translated and understood in a number of different ways. I’m not going to tell you which translation or interpretation is best. The truth is, I don’t know.
At a very literal level, it could be taken as referring to the territory of ancient Israel. Trouble often occurs at the borders of any nation. Nations disagree about where the boundaries were, are, or should be, as well as how (and how strictly) to maintain those boundaries.
Of course, at the micro-level this is also a common dynamic. At work, people disagree as to what is and is not their responsibility. In marriage, the same thing can be observed. In divorce, these border skirmishes become all-out war.
However, whatever the verse is saying, I will tell you what I heard when I read it this morning. I heard God saying to me that I need to be at peace with my own boundaries. I have always had trouble with this.
When I was a very little person, Mom would let me go out to the yard, and would tell me to stay in the yard. I would—for a few minutes. But soon, the pastures outside the fence would call, and I would be off the races. So would my mom and older sister, who ran themselves ragged trying to keep up with my short (but swift) legs. Perhaps boundaries never come easily to small children.
What I would like to tell you is that I have gotten better with boundaries over the years. However, that would be a lie. I am not at peace with my own boundaries. This means, basically, that I am not at peace at all.
Do I believe that God has established and will protect my boundaries? If I do, I should be at peace with those boundaries.
What are my specific boundaries? My age, my physical health, my marital status, my skills, my interests, my work—all these and many more constitute my boundaries. There are times for expanding some of them, but many of them simply need to be recognized and respected.
From one angle, the Serenity Prayer is a prayer about boundaries: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change [i.e., the firm boundaries], the courage the things I can [i.e., the boundaries which can and should be expanded], and the wisdom to know the difference [i.e., knowing which boundaries must be firm, and which ones I need to expand].”
Only when I am at peace with my own boundaries and limitations will I have peace at all.
As that great 20th century philosopher, Clint Eastwood, said, “A man’s got to know his limitations.”
“The Magic of Bothness”
A friend of mine said the following in an email to me this morning:
“Tonight there was this speaker at the event talking about, basically what we always talk about- love, connection, non-self, etc., and he talked about this Native American saying, ‘I am a pitiful relative.’ Meaning, I am beautiful and good and surely loved by HP, and yet… I am a pitiful relative to this world around me, because we all are at some time or another. He said they say it with joy and humility, not with shame or punishment. I think that’s really beautiful. I’m a pitiful relative. I’m also a really good relative. The bothness is where the magic happens.”
People are good, except when we’re not. The recognition of these two facts and holding them in a continual creative tension strikes me as being one of the most important human truths and tasks. If we simply emphasize the goodness, we will not take seriously the very real evil in even very good humans. If, on the other hand, we only focus on the evil in human beings, we will almost certainly become cynical. We may even become completely hopeless about human nature and human beings.
“Simul Justus et Peccator,” said Martin Luther. We are “saints and sinners at the same time.” And what is this magic that happens in the bothness of our goodness and our evil? It is the magic—or better, the miracle—of God’s grace and love. God forgives us of our evil and grows our goodness into maturity.
This is indeed “deep magic from before the dawn of time,” as C.S. Lewis called it. And this magic of bothness is the magic of accepting God’s grace and love daily and also passing it along to others.
May you and I live in and live out this magic every day!
“You’re Not a Cow, Man!”
“Don’t have a cow, man!” (Bart Simpson)
“You’re not a cow, man!” (Down to Earth Believer)
In our twelve-step meeting this morning, someone proposed “rumination” as a topic. He seemed to think it was a problem for him. I myself am a frequent flyer on the rumination plane, even though I don’t enjoy flying, so I was glad for the topic.
I grew up on a farm. We had cows, and cows definitely ruminate. We didn’t call it that. The word “ruminate” has too many syllables. We spoke of cows “chewin’ the cud.” They chewed and chewed and chewed. Then, they chewed some more. They had to do that in order to digest the grass or whatever else they were eating.
As we discussed the topic of rumination (a.k.a. “mulling things over; stewing on things; obsessing”) a couple of things came to mind. First, cows ruminate in order to digest their food. I’m afraid I’m not chewing on things to nourish myself, quite the contrary. I seem to chew on things in order to make myself sick. Not smart! I ruminate on slights, big and little, real and imagined. I mull over things that I can’t do anything about. In short, I wonder who is chewing whom? I think I may be the chew-ee, rather than the chewer.
Second, I am not a cow, so why act like one? Why not let things go? What do I get out of most of rumination besides a stomachache? And so, I say unto me and thee, “Don’t be a cow, man!”
“The ‘Why?’ in Self-Negativity”
“Why to you speak so negatively about yourself?” This was a question asked me this morning by Bill, my walking partner at a local park.
“I don’t know, Bill. It’s a question my wife has been asking for the past fifty years. In fact, she probably asked it when we were dating.”
“And she still married you!” said Bill.
“Yes, she did,” I responded.
Why do I regard myself so negatively? There are probably a lot of reasons. Some of my reasons might even be reasonable. Some, not so much.
For one thing, I’ve known people who were apparently totally convinced that everything they did was just perfect. I don’t like those people. Why would I want to be like people that I don’t even like? Perhaps I value humility.
But that is about the only somewhat sensible reason. The others are darker, I’m afraid. One of those unwise “whys” is that I don’t want to raise people’s expectations too much. I am a people pleaser, and the lower I can set the bar, the less likely I am to displease.
Sometimes, I’m trying not to set the bar too high for my own self. I’m a perfectionist. There was a book years ago entitled In Search of Excellence. If I wrote that sort of book, I would entitle it In Search of Perfection. The problem with setting the bar lower for myself is that I still, in my heart of hearts, want to do everything perfect—the first time and every time.
There are probably many more reasons, excuses, and bad attitudes that undergird my self-negativity, but this is enough truth for one post. Whatever the whys, the question I need to ask myself is this: How can I get out of this echo chamber that does not really help me to become a better person?
My problem is that I know the answer, but I keep forgetting it. I believe that God loves me just as I am. Well, I believe it at the theoretical level. But do I believe it down in the trenches of individual good and bad choices, in my chronic struggles, in the dailiness of life?
I need to become a more believing believer!
“Prayers and Divine Appointments”
I was struggling with my runaway mind this morning. Not unusual, but very uncomfortable. I’ve discovered that there are some things that work to counter that tendency. One that I wrote about a few days ago is replacing not-so-good thoughts with better ones. That works well, except when it doesn’t.
Another is moving a muscle. We have the saying in twelve-step work, “Move a muscle, change a thought.” So, I went to our local park to hit softballs off a tee and walk. It helped a little, but the intruding thoughts regrouped and attacked again.
Of course, there is always prayer. That, unfortunately, is usually the last resort for this deeply flawed Christ-follower. I am reminded of a comment I read years ago. A lady was talking with her friend about her problems and ended by saying—with an air of resignation bordering on despair— “I guess we’ll just have to pray and trust God.”
Her friend replied, “Oh dear, has it come to that?!”
Bottom line: It would probably be better if I prayed and trusted God first, but I don’t always do that.
Well, anyway, I prayed. And just then, as I was beginning my walk, I saw a friend on the path whom I had not seen for quite a while. Bill and I talked. I mentioned being attacked by my own thoughts, and he mentioned his struggles with feelings of not having much of a purpose. We had both just prayed for God’s help, and there we were, walking together.
Now, of course, the whole thing could have been a coincidence. However, I’ve heard it said that what we call “coincidences” are God’s appointments.
Could be, you know! Pay attention to the so-called coincidences in your day. You might be encountering God in them.
“God Never Promised You a Rose Garden”
Mal. 1:2 “I have loved you,” says the LORD. But you say, “How have you loved us?” “Is not Esau Jacob’s brother?” declares the LORD. “Yet I have loved Jacob 3 but Esau I have hated. I have laid waste his hill country and left his heritage to jackals of the desert.” 4 If Edom says, “We are shattered but we will rebuild the ruins,” the LORD of hosts says, “They may build, but I will tear down, and they will be called ‘the wicked country,’ and ‘the people with whom the LORD is angry forever.’” 5 Your own eyes shall see this, and you shall say, “Great is the LORD beyond the border of Israel!”
This passage seems to reveal something nasty about God. God has loved Israel/Judah and hated Esau/Edom. There are many other Scriptures like that, but I suspect we’re missing two very important things.
First, the Bible often communicates by exaggeration. This is not just true for the Old Testament. According to the New Testament, Jesus said that we are to hate our father and mother (Luke 14:26). He also said that, if our eye causes us to sin, we should pluck our eye out and throw it away. I’ve not found many people who refuse to acknowledge that Jesus was communicating by exaggeration in these instances.
So, what is going on in Malachi, I suspect, is this: God is saying how much he loves Judah by contrasting the fate of the neighboring nation of Edom. Both Judah and Edom had been decimated by the wars and political intrigues of that time, but—speaking comparatively and in an exaggerated fashion—God had loved Judah and hated Edom.
Of course, part of Edom’s problem was of their own making. If we are honest, most of our problems, individually and collectively, are of our making. Or, at least, we tend to make the problems worse than they need to be by our own continued bad choices. In Edom’s case, they were determined to rebuild their ruined cities. Not a bad thing, but the way in which they state their determination sounds more than a bit arrogant. For anyone, Judah, Edom, or America, it is still true that pride goes before a fall. Rebuilding ruins on pride ruins everything.
There is a second thing about Malachi 1:2-5 that we often overlook: the main point. And what is that main point? I suspect it may be summarized like this. God assured Israel/Judah of God’s love. The shot back with an eye-rolling “Really?!” Their response sounds more like an accusation than a question? God says to them, “You think you’ve got it bad? You don’t! Take one look at your neighbor, Edom, and you’ll see that. You are still in existence. Edom is, effectively, not.”
I heard of a guy who got up every morning, picked up the newspaper, and turned to the obituaries. He said, “If I don’t read my name there, I make my coffee and get on with my day.” Hopefully that gentleman was grateful as he enjoyed his coffee and got on with his day.
I don’t know what God’s musical favorites are, but I wonder if he likes the title, “I Beg Your Pardon: I Never Promised You a Rose Garden”!
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