Posts Tagged: 12-step groups

DTEB, “Don’t Hold Your Breath!”

On November 1, 2022 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

Today’s post begins with the lyrics from a wonderful song by Jonny Diaz.

“Alarm clock screaming bare feet hit the floor
It’s off to the races everybody out the door
I’m feeling like I’m falling behind, it’s a crazy life

Ninety miles an hour going fast as I can
Trying to push a little harder trying to get the upper hand
So much to do in so little time, it’s a crazy life
It’s ready, set, go it’s another wild day
When the stress is on the rise in my heart I feel you say just

Breathe, just breathe
Come and rest at my feet
And be, just be
Chaos calls but all you really need
Is to just breathe

Third cup of joe just to get me through the day
Want to make the most of time but I feel it slip away
I wonder if there’s something more to this crazy life
I’m busy, busy, busy, and it’s no surprise to see
That I only have time for me, me, me
There’s gotta be something more to this crazy life
I’m hanging on tight to another wild day
When it starts to fall apart in my heart I hear you say just

Breathe, just breathe
Come and rest at my feet
And be, just be


Chaos calls but all you really need

Is to take it in, fill your lungs
The peace of God that overcomes
Just breathe (just breathe)
let your weary spirit rest
Lay down what’s good and find what’s best
Just breathe (just breathe)

Just breathe, just breathe
Come and rest at my feet
And be, just be
Chaos calls but all you really need
Is to just breathe
Just breathe”

(https://www.google.com/search?q=lyrics+Just+Breathe!+Christian+song&rlz=1C1GCEA_enUS844US844&oq=lyrics+Just+Breathe!+Christian+song&aqs=chrome..69i57j0i22i30j0i390.14281j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8, accessed 11-01-2022)

I had an interesting exchange of emails this morning with a guy that I am sponsoring in my 12-step group.

“Dear N.,

I was especially struck by this sentence: “I drive myself crazy trying to get the things I think I want, forgetting that if I just let go, I’ll probably get better than I can imagine.” Yes!

Your words about love also touched me deeply. You are absolutely right about the love always being there. You are also right, I think, about the fact that we can only experience that love when we let go and are doing what we can to receive and participate in that love.

In terms of the letting go part, the thought occurred to me that, in fact, we do this all the time. It is called breathing. We let go of one breath in order to take another. Many religions, philosophies, and non-descript approaches to life emphasize breathing. I am struck that, in my own tradition, Christianity, breath is mentioned at the very beginning of the second creation story in Genesis 2:7. This original breath was breathed into us by God. Perhaps every breath is breathed into us by God. None are guaranteed. All are freely given. I think I’m a bit more aware of this because of having blood clots on my lungs on a couple of occasions.

In fact, the same Hebrew word (ruah) can mean “spirit, wind, or breath”. It is sometimes hard to decide which translation is the best in a particular text of the Bible. The same word in Greek (pneuma) is also used in similar ways in the Greek New Testament.

So, in a sense, with every breath, I am breathing in God’s breath. Maybe what we are really beathing in is love, but we don’t have the sense to know it. And, unfortunately, I am forever trying to hang on to my last breath when God has a fresh one for me.

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IT’S A GOOD LIFE—MAYBE?

On October 22, 2018 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

My wife and I watched a Twilight Zone episode the other night.  It starred a little boy, only six years old, with amazing mental powers.  He could control people’s lives to the point of killing them or turning them into a jack-in-the-box.  He could even control nature, making it snow if he chose to do so.

Furthermore, he had very strong opinions about what he liked and what he didn’t.  Instrumental music was okay, but singing was not.

He could read minds, too.  If you didn’t like him or think “good thoughts,” you were in serious trouble.  Your bad thoughts about him were likely to be your last thoughts.

Far-fetched, isn’t it?  Or, then again, is it?  I used to have a very similar fantasy when I was little, fantasies of being in control, of making everybody like me.  And those who didn’t like me—well, let’s just say that I “disappeared” them.

Of course, this meant that I had to banish almost the entire human race.  Even my mom and dad sometimes didn’t seem to be thinking good thoughts about me.  They were gone!

Now, before you excuse my attitude, and say, “Oh, well, that was when you were a little guy,” I should confess that, even though I’m sixty-seven-and-a-half, I still want everybody to like me, to think good thoughts about me.  Fortunately, I don’t have the power to make that happen, or even the power to make it appear to be happening.  Neither do I have the power to turn people into some object or another with my not-so-powerful mind.

However, in twelve-step groups, we often share about our tendency to “objectify” people—to treat them as objects rather than as people in their own right.  I doubt that this is unique to addicts.  I suspect that this is a human reality.  I have heard nurses (not all, thank God!) refer to patients by their problem and room number (“the hip fracture in 201), rather than by name.  Online advertisers don’t talk about people, but about “eyeballs.”

I suspect that the reason many of the Twilight Zone episodes still resonate is not because they are far-fetched or scary.  Rather, the hair stands up on the backs of our necks, because Serling’s creations strike at our own individual and collective hearts and minds.  They reveal us to ourselves.

So, is there a solution?  What about God?

Well, I can even objectify God, if I try really hard.  In fact, it’s not even that hard.  What is idolatry, other than objectifying God—literally?  I can do this mentally in less than a second.

Of course, the real God—if there is one, as I believe that there is—stubbornly insists that He is not an object.  God also insists that we treat ourselves and others as subjects in their own right, and with their own rights.

One really practical thing that I practice, though not nearly enough, is simple to say, but hard to do.  I conjugate the verb “control.”

I am not in control.

I have never been in control.

I will never be in control.

Try it!  It is so much more fun than turning people into jacks-in-the-box!  The Twilight Zone is a wonderful T.V. show, but it’s a lousy way to live your life.

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