Posts Tagged: 12-step groups and the church

“A Land of Misfit Toys”

On June 13, 2022 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

I love the Church and my own particular local church. However, I often wonder if 12-step groups don’t frequently out-church the church. Here is an email from a Saturday morning fellow 12-stepper:

“I am working on a document as part of my couple’s recovery. This particular section is “significant events in your road to recovery”. I wanted to share what was top of the list.

Finding connection at a random Sat morning group:

It is amazing to me that a key moment in my recovery came through a random Saturday morning group. When I came back from my program last summer, I had committed to attending a daily meeting. Although resentful of this commitment I accepted the value (at least on an intellectual level). At the time, I viewed meetings as a chore and as such tried to get them done early and out of the way. The summer is boat time and I had to find a meeting which would not interfere with the rest of my day. As it turns out, this particular group of people, who run an early Saturday recovery meeting have been lifesavers in many ways. They certainly have helped my relationship with my wife, but most importantly participation in the group has saved the relationship with myself. The group is made up of kind caring people who have humility laced with wit and humor. To me, this makes all the difference. I was quickly accepted among their ranks and even asked to participate in a smaller weekly meeting on Wednesday AM. I have learned through participation that despite how I often feel like Rudolf (alone and different), hiding and isolating is not the answer. This eclectic group of people show me every Saturday that you can have a very fulfilling life and a committed long-term relationship while also working to maintain sobriety, even if you sometimes feel you’re in the land of misfit toys.”

We all probably feel like misfit toys some of the time. Some of us feel that way all of the time. Alcoholics Anonymous started in a church building basement. To this day, many 12-step groups meet in churches. While I think that it matters a great deal what we believe, I think that treating people with kindness might work a lot better than simply telling people what they should believe. Kindness is a wonderful way to help people find the truths they need to find.

Of course, the church is all about relationships in any case: relationships with God and with one another. God loves misfits. We all fit with God, and I suspect that God expects us to fit in with one another as best we can—not necessarily agree, but get along. Getting agreement is much easier than getting along in the land of misfit humans, but getting along means more to God. Maybe it should be worth more to us as well.

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