Posts Tagged: 12-step programs

“Willing to Surrender Our Will”

On August 17, 2022 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

“Phil. 2:12 ¶ Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling,

Phil. 2:13 for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” (Philippians 2:12-13, English Standard Version)

I don’t have a lot of willpower. I also don’t have a lot of “won’t power”. In other words, I frequently don’t do what is best for me and for others. And I do do what is not good for me and others. Probably, dear reader, you never struggle with such a perverse dynamic. Nevertheless, I will let you into my own struggles.

The thought occurred to me yesterday that there is a paradox in all 12-step programs. Actually, there are probably many paradoxes, but here is the greatest one, I think. Here it is.

Step 1 says that we are powerless over our addictions.

Step 3 says that we must make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God.

Furthermore, one of the five major resources we use in recovery is sobriety, which is defined as being “. . . willing to stop acting out on our bottom line addictive behavior.”

Wait a minute! How can we exercise our will when we are powerless?

Paradoxes (like Zen koans) cannot be so much solved as lived with. I can’t pretend to be able to solve this apparent contradiction. The paradox is summed up in two companion sayings that are well-known by 12-steppers.

“I can’t without God;

God won’t without me.”

Paul says something similar in his letter to the Philippians. Apparently, some of them were having a difficult time getting along with other believers. I was a pastor for many years. I think that I can say, without much fear of contradiction, that this is still a problem in every church. Indeed, it is a problem in every group that has more than one person in it. (See what I did there?!)

The verses before and after the two verses (2:12-13) that lead off this post are not about individual salvation, but about getting along with others. No one can do that without divine help. On the other hand, it is something that the individual him (or her) self has to do. Trying to love, or even get along, with others without God is a herculean task. And we are not Hercules.

Of course, even if Paul is talking specifically about our responsibility to get along with others and God’s power working in us to accomplish that, we can legitimately apply this truth to other things. And we can also individualize it. After all, if we are to do this collectively, we are each going to need to live paradoxically.

Perhaps you and I have just enough will power to turn our will over to God. And that is enough.

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“WHY NO TOTAL HEALING?”

On October 21, 2018 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

I am getting to teach an online class for the university where I am an adjunct.  The first assignment is simply to introduce yourself.  I figure that this is one small way of personalizing a format that can be very impersonal.

One of the things that I mentioned about myself is that I am an addict, and while I have many years of sobriety, I still go to meetings, have a sponsor, and sponsor others.  I am this frank when I am teaching a class in the flesh, so why not online?

A student of mine responded to this aspect of my introduction by telling me that he appreciated my honesty.  He had a struggle with alcohol addiction some twenty years ago, but Christ had taken away even the desire to drink.  Did I still struggle with desires?

Here is how I responded.

“I am glad for those whom Christ has set free even from the desires to do things that harm and enslave them, and cause them to hurt others.  I think that such things do indeed occur, and I am always delighted to hear of them.

However, that is not my story.  I still have desires that, if left unchecked, would destroy me.  And, of course, I would hurt others in the process of going down.

I don’t know why I am not one of the “delivered from evil desires” crowd.  I wish that I were.  Maybe I don’t have enough faith in God.  That’s certainly possible.

On the other hand, I sometimes wonder if Christ has left me with some left-over desires in order to keep me from becoming puffed up with pride, or unsympathetic to other sinners.  I simply do not know. However, what I do know is that Jesus Christ is my Savior, and I am trying to live under his Lordship every day.

We should always be glad for those who don’t even desire evil.  We should pray that we too will be delivered from such desires.  However, even if we are not delivered from them until we see Jesus face-to-face, we are still responsible for not yielding to those desires.  And we are responsible for doing whatever works to assist us in obedience.  For me, that means still attending 12-step meetings, checking in with my sponsor, and actually practicing the 12 steps.”

So, dear reader, if you have been delivered from even the desire to do evil, rejoice and be glad for such deliverance!

But if you’re still in the daily process of allowing God to help you to deny your evil desires, rejoice and be glad for such deliverance!  Slow-motion miracles are just as miraculous as immediate miracles.  They’re just slower.

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“OF ROYALTY AND BAD BEHAVIOR: THE LAW OF BLUE TASSELS”

On April 23, 2018 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

37 Then the LORD said to Moses,

  38 “Give the following instructions to the people of Israel: Throughout the generations to come you must make tassels for the hems of your clothing and attach them with a blue cord.

  39 When you see the tassels, you will remember and obey all the commands of the LORD instead of following your own desires and defiling yourselves, as you are prone to do.

  40 The tassels will help you remember that you must obey all my commands and be holy to your God.

  41 I am the LORD your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt that I might be your God. I am the LORD your God!”” (Numbers 15: 37-41, New Living Translation)

This is one of those boring passages in the Old Testament that is tempting to skip.  I decided that I would dig a bit deeper.  I’m glad that I didn’t skip, but dug deeper.  The brief dig was more than worth it.  Two sentences from an Old Testament scholar shed a great deal of light on this.  Pekka Pitkänen writes,

“As Milgrom suggests, the purple colour in the tassels is likely to tie in with the Israelites being a kingdom of priests (Milgrom 1990: 414; Ex 19:6).  This said, the law at the same time ties in with the fact that human nature can be susceptible to bad behaviour (v. 39).”[1]

So, the tassels remind Israelites (and us) of two things: We are royalty, and we are, at times, behaving royally badly.  Those are two things that we all need to remember.

Twelve-steppers confess two things at meetings: We are recovering and we are addicts (or, as one of my friends likes to say, “We have an addiction”).

Being recovering addicts makes us royalty.  But we are still “susceptible to bad behaviour.”  Indeed, as an addict, I am prone to very bad behavior!

I believe that these are two very important things for all humans to remember.  If we don’t affirm our royalty, we are ignoring our own worth.  If we only affirm our royalty, we ignore our innate tendency to do the wrong, destructive thing to ourselves and others—our tendency to screw up royally.

But what do we do to remind ourselves of these two seemingly contradictory facts?  What are our blue tassels?

I can’t speak for you, but my 12-step meetings, readings, and phone calls are my blue tassels.  The program and my friends in it remind me of what a good person I am, how blessed I am, how I reflect the glory of God in some dim but important ways.

But they also know all my stuff.  They have heard my unvarnished, unedited, x-rated story.  They know only too well that I am “still susceptible to bad behaviour.”

I would encourage everyone to find and wear some blue tassels.  Put them on every day.  Look at them often.

[1] Pekka Pitkänen, A Commentary on Numbers: Narrative, Ritual and Colonialism, Routledge Studies in the Biblical World (London: Routledge, 2018), 125.

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