Posts Tagged: addictions

DTEB, “A TRICK IS NOT A TRICK WHEN YOU’VE SEEN IT BEFORE”

On August 14, 2018 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

“When you forgive this man, I forgive him, too. And when I forgive whatever needs to be forgiven, I do so with Christ’s authority for your benefit, so that Satan will not outsmart us. For we are familiar with his evil schemes.” (2 Corinthians 2:10-11, New Living Translation)

“So the LORD God asked the woman, ‘What is this you have done?’ And the woman said, ‘It was the serpent. He deceived me, and I ate.’” (Genesis 3:13, Complete Jewish Bible)

A friend in my 12-step group made a wonderful comment this morning.  We were discussing how to get back on track after a relapse.  My young friend who is crazy way too wise for his years said something like the following: “Once, I said that the devil had tricked me, and I had acted out.  But then, I realized that he had done that same thing before.  It occurred to me that, if I know the trick, then it isn’t really a trick anymore!”

Right.

Too often, like Eve, I say, “The serpent deceived me . . . .”  However, Eve said, in the same breath, “. . . and I ate.”  She admitted her own decision and action pretty quickly.  I get around to admitting my personal responsibility—eventually.  But unlike Eve, I am not so prompt about acknowledging that personal responsibility.

We addicts, before we have admitted that we are addicts,  tend to say, “Well, I have my problems, but I’m an exception.”  When we finally admit how out-of-control we are, we no longer regard ourselves as exceptions to the rules.

However, whenever we want to relapse, all that the addiction (or the devil, or our own worse self?) needs to say is, “Oh, this time will be an exception.  It will be different this time!”

And too often, we fall for this trick—even when we know it’s a trick.  Someone has defined insanity as “doing the same stupid thing again, and expecting a different result.”  Addiction is a form of insanity.

So, I’m not going to talk anymore about the devil or the addiction or my worse self tricking me.  Instead, I’m going to say, “I see where this is going, and I choose not to go there!”

There is an old proverb that is often attributed to the Chinese.  But whoever came up with it, thank you very much!  Here it is:

“Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me.”

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“SAVED OFF OF A KILL TRUCK”

On April 26, 2018 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

I sometimes listen to “Fresh Air” on National Public Radio.  Recently (on my birthday, April 10), Fresh Air had an interview with Brady Jandreau, a severely injured bronco rider and wild horse trainer, featured in the movie “The Rider.”  The director of the film, Chole Zhao, was also interviewed.

Terry Gross, the host of “Fresh Air,” gently compels me to be interested in things and people I’m not interested in.  She has wonderful, interesting guests who are made even more interesting by means of Terry’s good questions, and her even better silences.

For example, when Terry asked her horse trainer the following question, I was moved to wonder and to tears.  “I see what humans get from a relationship with the horse, but what does the horse get?” Terry asked.

Brady responded, “Many horses we save off of kill trucks. There’s no legal slaughter of horses in the United States now, but there’s still legal slaughter of horses in Canada. So if there’s a horse that’s never been trained and he’s much too wild or much too old for your average trainer to have a go at him, they’ll typically sell him and nobody can ride the horse so he typically becomes glue or dog food or whatever, sent to France. And the horse Apollo in the movie is actually one of the horses I saved off of a kill truck.”

I feel as if I myself have saved off the kill truck.  I was too old and too wild to tame.  It wasn’t just that I was going to hell someday.  No.  I was already there.

Addictions make you do destructive things to others, especially to those you love.  Addictions make you do destructive things to yourself.  You may choose your way into an addiction, but you can’t choose your way out.  I know.  I tried for decades.

So, I had pretty much given up.  I was loaded on the kill truck, along with many others.  And then, Someone opened the gate and let me out.  I tried to stomp Him, kick Him, bite Him, escape Him, but He kept trying to get close to me.  Eventually, I gave Him a little sniff.  What harm in that, I said to myself.  Well, He didn’t smell particularly threatening.  And eventually, I let Him touch me . . . just a little.  Well, that didn’t hurt so much!

Little by little, I let Him work his way back along my body.  The shoulders!  That’s far enough!  He walked back to my muzzle, and gently stroked it.  “Let’s start over again,” He said softly.

This time, He got to my flanks before I shied away.  Back to the muzzle.  “Let’s start over again,” He laughed gently.

And finally, little by little, He tamed me.  I was not simply freed from the kill truck.  I was free!

Or, at the very least, my Trainer and I are working on freedom.

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“MY MOST MEMORABLE CHRISTMAS EVE”

On December 24, 2017 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

My most memorable Christmas Eve was spent in a ditch beside Ohio State Route 125 in the Shawnee Forest.  The time was in the late 1970’s or perhaps 1980.  I was on my way with my wife and three small children to a Christmas celebration on Christmas Eve.  The weather had been very warm earlier in the day, but by the time we got on the road, the temperatures had plummeted, and the roads were icing over.

125 through the Shawnee Forest was our shortest route—our shortest route to a ditch!  There was one place in particular that involved a slight curve and a small hill.  That was sufficient!  We were going so slowly that neither we nor the car were hurt.  However, there was no way I could push our car out of the ditch.  We (along with lots of other people) weren’t going to be going anywhere for a while.  All we could do was wait for a tow truck to come and pull us out.

After a bit, a man came back from walking about a mile to the Shawnee State Park lodge to call for a tow truck.  His news was not good.  “It will be at least three hours before anyone can get to us,” he informed us.

Three hours!  Our extended family was opening our gifts on Christmas Eve, and we weren’t going to make it.

We sat in our car, running the engine to keep warm.  Eventually, several people began getting out of the cars and chatting with other folks.  “Where were you headed for?” was the most common question.  A fairly large group gathered.

Eventually, someone had an interesting idea.  I would like to take credit, but if my memory serves me correctly, it was someone else.

“Hey!” somebody said.  “If we all pushed, we could probably get everyone back on the road again!  Once we’ve gotten someone up on the level spot at the top of this little hill, they can come back and help push others out of the ditch and up the hill.”

I was initially skeptical, but I thought, why not try?

And it ended up being easier than I had thought.  There were a lot of us out pushing.  Despite the slippery conditions, I think we had enough people to have picked up the vehicles and to have lifted them onto the road.  Before many minutes had passed, we were past this tricky spot, and on our way.

I believe (at least, in my better moments) that God came to earth in His Son, Jesus Christ, about two-thousand years ago.  I believe that he came to push us (or lift us?) out of the ditch we had gotten ourselves.  It’s so much easier to get into a ditch, than it is to get out of it, isn’t it?

But I also believe that God has called us in Christ to help one another to get out of our ditches.

As an addict, I have had a lot of friends who have helped me to get back on the road.  Twelve-step friends, pastors, other believers, family members, and above all my wife, have come back to where I was stuck.  They refused to leave me in the ditch.

And now, God has called me to believe in God’s rescue mission in Christ, and to participate in it, as much as I can.

The illusion is that the Christmas Season is “. . . the most wonderful time of the year.” The reality is rather different.  Some of you may feel very much ditched.  Perhaps this blog may give you the courage to believe that Someone and some ones have your back and your bumper, and that there is a road forward for you after all.

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