Posts Tagged: addicts
“Everyone Welcome! Well, Maybe”
I was trying to download the Spotify App this morning. I had spent more than a little time typing in my email address and a password. My brain and my fingers are fat and slow when it comes to typing on the teeny, tiny keyboard on my phone. But I wanted Spotify for a couple of podcasts that I enjoy.
However, after spending about ten minutes on my phone, I hit a roadblock. When I typed in my birthdate (including the year I was born), I was greeted with a message that said something to the effect that, because of my age, I did not qualify for this app. It would appear that I am too young for Spotify.
I felt very hurt and frustrated. Being excluded from anything makes me feel rather sad.
However, it is so much more fun to get revenge than it is to be sad, so I said to myself, “Humph! I’ll give Spotify some really bad publicity with the ten people who regularly read my blog posts! That’ll show them!”
In addition to plotting revenge, I also thought about the church. Many churches proclaim that “Everyone is Welcome!’ I have my doubts, though. Many of my twelve-step friends would be open to attending a church, but they are not at all sure they would be welcomed. I hate to say it, but I’m not sure either. A few years ago, in the Atlanta, Georgia area, I encountered a billboard along I-75 that proclaimed, “God loves everybody, even Democrats.” As a Democrat, I was a little uncertain as to whether the purchaser of that billboard message meant what they said.
Jesus invited all kinds of scumbags to follow him. In fact, he said that anyone who was tired could come to him, learn, and find rest.
“Matt. 11:28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Matt. 11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
Matt. 11:30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
And near the very end of the New Testament are the following words:
“Rev. 22:17 ¶ The Spirit and the Bride say, “Come.” And let the one who hears say, “Come.” And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires take the water of life without price.”
According to God’s Word, everyone really is welcome.
“The Some/Son-One Who is With Us”
A friend of mine, for whom I am an accountability partner, reported that, despite some temptations, he had done well. My reply was as follows:
“Well done! Thanks for the update!
I have heard it said, as you have also no doubt, that ‘God had one Son without sin, but no sons without temptation.’ It is good to always remember that Someone (who is also the Sonone/won) is with us at all times.”
I love playing with words, as you can tell from the above.
But this business of not being alone is not play. Aloneness (or rather, loneliness) is no laughing matter. Most of us feel lonely at times—even when we’re surrounded by people.
Addicts in particular tend to feel alone. We frequently struggle with both self-hatred and loneliness. To be imprisoned in solitary confinement with someone you hate is double punishment.
When an addict attends his/her first meeting, he/she frequently hears the words “You are not alone.” Addicts hear the stories of others, and realize that perhaps, just maybe, they are not the only ones who struggle. They are not, as “terminally unique” as they had thought. And of course in the expression “terminally unique,” the emphasis is on “terminally”—as in terminally sick.
For those of us who are Christians, it is more than knowing that there are other people who share our struggles. Christians believe that, in Jesus Christ, God took on a human identity, and experienced temptation and struggle just as we do.
Christians also believe that this same Jesus was raised from the dead, has ascended to Heaven, and has sent us the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is Jesus’ personal re-presentative. That is to say, the Holy Spirit is Jesus’ presence within and among those of us who are believers.
Now, I must confess that most of the time I don’t feel real holy-spirit-y, or Jesus-y. Most of the time, I feel entirely too me-ish. However, I refuse to dumb down my beliefs to match what I feel like.
I believe that, even when my wife is out shopping (as she is right now), I am still not alone. I believe that Someone is with me at all times—Someone who has been tempted, who has struggled, and who always stands ready to help.
Jesus said, just before his ascension to Heaven, “I am with you, even to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20). Either Jesus was telling me the truth, or my feelings are. I think I’ll go with Jesus on this one!
“Giving Ourselves What We Deserve”
My wife went out to run some errands yesterday. One errand was to return some clothes that did not quite work for her. She called me a couple of hours after she had left, and sounded rather frustrated and apologetic. I don’t remember the exact conversation, but it went something like this. “I haven’t gotten anything done,” she said. “I’ve just wasted time trying on a bunch of clothes. Do you want me just to come home and fix dinner?” She knows that I like to eat dinner early, whereas she doesn’t really care what time she eats.
Now, you must realize that my wife is not a compulsive shopper. Quite the contrary! She buys what she needs if it’s on sale or on the clearance rack, and then makes it last a long, long time.
So, it wasn’t really being a stellar husband for me to be a little nice. “Just go ahead and do your other errands, and we’ll eat whenever you get home.” Even though, given my wife’s nature and style, it wasn’t a big thing for me to be a little kind, it was a big thing for me to do. Hey! Lighten up on me! I’m a beginner at being thoughtful!
So, this morning, I read the following words from Melody Beattie’s book The Language of Letting Go:
“Wednesday, May 8
Giving Ourselves What We Deserve
‘I worked at a good job, making a decent salary. I had been recovering for
years. Each morning, I got into my car and I thanked God for the car. The
heater didn’t work. And the chance of the car not starting was almost as great
as the chance that it would. I just kept suffering through and thanking God.
One day, it occurred to me that there was absolutely no good reason I couldn’t
buy myself a new car – that moment – if I wanted one. I had been gratitudeing
myself into unnecessary deprivation and martyrdom. I bought the new car – that
day.
—Anonymous’ ”
It is good to be grateful for what we have. However, there are times when we deprive ourselves when there is no good reason. This is especially true of us addicts. We know that we don’t dare go for immediate gratification. We know that gratitude for what we have—and even what we don’t have—is extremely important.
However, as addicts, we also tend to turn every good thing into an addiction. Some of us get addicted to deprivation. Perhaps there should be a twelve-step group called “D.A.” This would stand for “Deprivation Anonymous.”
The Apostle Paul has a wonderful little instruction for Timothy, and indeed for all of us. He says,
“17 As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy.
18 They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share,
19 thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life.” (1 Timothy 6:17-19, English Standard Version)
Yes, we are to trust God. Yes, we are to be generous with others. But did you catch a couple of words at the end of verse 16? Let me highlight them for you. “. . . God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy.” Not abuse, not hoard, but enjoy!
I hope that you enjoy your day!
DOWN TO EARTH BELIEVER
- DTEB, “Getting Christ and Ourselves Back in Focus” November 11, 2024“Col. 3:1 ¶ If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Col. 3:2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. Col. 3:3 For you have died, and your life is hidden […]
- “Search Me!” October 27, 2024“Psa. 139:23 Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! 24 And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” (Psalm 139:23-24, English Standard Version) I am participating in a Bible study, and this is a prayer […]
- “Christian Speech” October 26, 2024“Eph. 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Foulkes, in his excellent commentary on the Book of Ephesians, writes the following, which I quote at some length: “29. Now the […]
- “God is in the Details” October 11, 2024“The devil is in the details.” (A general saying, often quoted by lawyers, reporters, and negotiators.) “God is in the details.” (Me, almost certainly not original.) “Luke 12:7 Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.” (Jesus) God does not micromanage, but God […]
- “Grandma’s Pump” October 8, 2024When I was a little critter, I would stay at my grandma’s house for a night or two sometimes. I liked this for a lot for many reasons. One thing I liked about staying with her was that Grandma’s house was much more technologically advanced than ours was. For one thing, she had indoor water—sort […]
- “Wearing the #14 Wrong-Side-Out” October 5, 2024Pete Rose, #14, is dead. Many of the old guys with whom I play softball watched him play and appreciated him greatly. I do as well. He was one of the greatest players who ever played the game. Yes, he admitted (eventually) to betting on baseball. But many of us still regard him as one […]
- “Passing Along the Love (and a Link)” October 4, 2024Several years ago, a friend of mine put me onto a daily meditation by Richard Rohr and friends. I don’t read them all the time, but I probably should. They are good! I thought that today’s writing was especially good, and I also figured that this would be a good way to post something. I […]
- “Witnessing Versus Being Witnesses” September 19, 2024“Acts 1:1 In the first book, O Theophilus, I have dealt with all that Jesus began to do and teach, Acts 1:2 until the day when he was taken up, after he had given commands through the Holy Spirit to the apostles whom he had chosen. Acts 1:3 He presented himself alive to them after […]
- “A Bathroom Prayer for Hurting Hands” September 11, 2024A week ago Sunday, my hands were hurting so badly at church that I went to the bathroom to run hot water over my hands. Arthritis perhaps, or carpal tunnel, or general orneriness—I don’t know why my hands hurt, but they do. They have for years. So, while I was running hot water over my […]
- “Waiting and Seeking” September 10, 2024“Lam. 3:19 ¶ Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall! Lam. 3:20 My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. Lam. 3:21 But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: Lam. 3:22 ¶ The steadfast love of the LORD […]
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