Posts Tagged: anxieties

“ON (MAYBE) HAVING A DISEASE I DIDN’T USED TO BELIEVE WAS REAL”

On August 21, 2018 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

I used to believe that fibromyalgia was not a real thing.  It was easy to be a disbeliever, since I didn’t have it.  However, over the years, I’ve come to accept that it is a real thing.

It became really easy today, because I am aching all over.  I went to the doctor.  My vital signs were all great, which is . . . great!  However, the doctor was really puzzled by my symptoms.  I was actually somewhat pleased when she said, “I have no idea what’s going with you.”  I never trust anyone who never says, “I don’t know.”

However, I do trust my wife!  She lives with my pretty much all the time, and she is a nurse.  Furthermore, I have had things in the past that she diagnosed long before the doctors and medical procedures verified them.  So, when she said, “You know, this sounds kind of like fibromyalgia,” I was listening.  Pain that nearly doubles you over sometimes helps you to hear better.

So, we each did a bit of research, and sure enough, the vague (but intense) symptoms seemed to fit.  In addition, some things that I read about possible contributing factors sounded like some things I have been going through—anxiety, lack of sleep, and so on.  Some things that help ease the pain also sounded like some things I had been intuitively doing.

I was especially struck by the anxiety piece.  The truth is that I most certainly have some anxiety right now.  I am about to teach a class I’ve never taught before, in a program that I’ve never taught in before, using Accordance Bible software, which I downloaded less than a week ago.  And, from the time I was asked to teach the class, until the first class was just over two weeks.

Yes, I would say that anxiety could be an issue!

However, it occurred to me that there was something I hadn’t done.  I hadn’t prayed.

Now, I believe in God (most of the time).  And I also believe that God answers prayer.  Whether it is the answer we want is a completely separate matter.

But God has been so good to me, has given me so many wonderful things, that I hesitate to ask for one more.  Why, in Heaven’s Name, shouldn’t I hurt?!  After all, I’ve had a good life.

As soon as I verbalized this thought to my wife, I heard how stupid it sounded.  God is not constrained!  God can bless and bless and bless again.  Why shouldn’t I pray for healing?

So, I did.  And I took a nap.  When I got up, I felt much better.  I could stand straight, not looking like a human question mark.

And another thing: For the past, I don’t know, two months (?), whenever I am inclined to entertain regrets, I send Jesus to the door.  For some reason, regrets seem to be scared of him.  They do not come in.  Instead, they run away.

So, I thought to myself, anxieties are actually just regrets that I have imported from the future.  Why not send Jesus to the door whenever anxieties knock?

If I deal creatively with anxieties (or rather, let Jesus deal with them), the pain may go away.  At the very least, sending Jesus to the door may help substantially.

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