Sometimes, in twelve-step meetings, we talk about the importance of self-esteem. I had a sponsor some years ago who encouraged me to do estimable acts. I didn’t think that I could do any highly estimable acts, but he was too smart and quick for me. As soon as I blurted out my low opinion of my abilities to do high and heroic stuff, he said, “Well then,” he said, “do some lowly estimable acts.”
The word “estimable” has two meanings: “capable of being estimated” and “worthy of esteem”. I estimate that the second meaning is the richer of the two.
So, I decided to do some estimable acts today. Here is a partial list:
Esteemable Acts
Yes, I know: these are very simple mundane things. Fair enough! But perhaps most of the estimable things in the world are simple mundane things. Maybe these simple things are what makes the world a livable place.
What teeny tiny estimable acts are you doing these days? To have healthy self-esteem, there is no substitute for doing estimable acts.
. . . The End (or maybe not!)
After writing the first draft of this, I couldn’t post it immediately because my website was being uncooperative. So, I sent it as an attachment to the good friend whose phone conversation gave me the nudge I needed to write and post. He wrote to thank me and used the word “esteemable” instead of “estimable”. I am not the best speller in the world, so I thought to myself, “Huh! Apparently the word can be spelled either way.”
So, I did what most of us do these days, for better and for worse: I googled the words. At the website https://thecontentauthority.com/blog/esteemable-vs-estimable, I discovered that, at least according to one fellow word nerd, there are two separate words with related but different meanings. Here is what this site says:
“Esteemable is an adjective that describes something or someone who is worthy of respect or admiration. It can also refer to something that is considered valuable or important. For example, a person who consistently demonstrates honesty, integrity, and kindness can be described as esteemable. Similarly, an accomplishment that required significant effort and skill can be considered esteemable.”
. . .
“Estimable is also an adjective that describes something or someone who is deserving of respect or admiration. However, it specifically refers to a quality or characteristic that is worthy of esteem or high regard. For instance, a person who possesses estimable qualities such as intelligence, creativity, and leadership skills is highly regarded and respected by others. Similarly, an action or achievement that demonstrates exceptional skill or talent can be considered estimable.”
So, in light of all this, I would say that my friend used the right word for the deeds I did which are esteemable.
I thought about changing the title and replacing all the estimables, but decided not to do so. Why? The reason is that I suspect that people who have estimable characteristics and character also do esteemable actions. And the converse is also true, I think. People who do esteemable actions are or become estimable. I am trying to become one of those becomers!
“The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” (Jesus, according to Luke 6:45, English Standard Version)
A twelve-step reading this morning pointed out that being is prior to doing. What we do, if it is to have any real and lasting impact for good, must come from our being.
Joyce Meyer says, “We are human beings, not human doings.” I agree.
And yet, the doings are so much easier to do, than the being is to be. Besides, doings are expected by others. Many of them don’t care about our being. They can’t access that.
On the other hand, to expect good actions from a human being who is corrupt in his/her very core is like expecting to use a microwave to mow your lawn.
So, how do I pay attention to being the best version of myself today, and thus preparing to be an even better human being tomorrow? I wish I knew, but I don’t. But I do have some suspicions.
Suspicion # 1: I can generally improve at most things whenever I pay attention. A good question to ask throughout the day is, “What am I really being right now?” It is a difficult question to ask, and even harder to answer. Most of the good questions are difficult to ask or to answer. That is one way to know that they are good questions.
Suspicion # 2: My being is closely related to whether I realize that I have the right and the responsibility to be on this planet. I will act in accordance with what I believe at this point. If I don’t have the right to be here—something I’ve struggled with since I was knee-high to a grasshopper—I will regard all my doings as irrelevant. A good affirmation for me or for you is this: Today I am believing that I have the right to be here.
Suspicion # 3: The best way for me to monitor my being (and to become a better human being) is to ask what is my motivation in this situation? Whence does this thought, word, feeling, action, attitude come? Again, I’ve learned from Andy Stanley to use the word “really.” What is my motivation, really?
Suspicion # 4: While being is more important than doing, and while being precedes doing, the two are mutually reinforcing. My being affects my doing, but the converse is also true. If I am doing good things, that can positively reinforce my being-ness. And, of course, if I am doing bad things, that is going to harm my very being. Like any married couple, you must distinguish between being and doing, but they do in fact have an effect on one another, for good or ill.
I am tempted at this point to quote (entirely out of context), the words from Jesus, “What God has joined together, may humans not cut in two!”
I wonder if it would hurt my being if I yielded to the temptation? I’m going to go for it!
“What God has joined together, may humans not cut in two!”
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