Posts Tagged: being sensitive
“Are you Sensitive? Or are you Sensitive?”
English is a contradictory language. You’ve no doubt heard the following questions:
- Why does “down the creek without a paddle” and “up the creek without a paddle” mean the same thing? Or do they?
- Why do we drive on a parkway, and park in a driveway?
- Why do we tell our children to “just be quiet,” and then ask them to explain why on earth they did what they did?
- Why do we say “not to mention,” and then mention it?
- Why do we introduce a man/woman as one who “needs no introduction,” and then spend five minutes introducing them.
Earlier today, a good friend gave me another one. And this one isn’t just strange; it’s plum weird.
Why does being “sensitive” mean two things that are almost opposites? A person can be “sensitive” in the sense that they get their feelings hurt about everything and by everyone. On the other hand, a person can be “sensitive” to the feelings and needs of others.
These strike me as being somewhat related. I can see why these two realities are signified by one word. However, I’ve also noticed this: People who are very sensitive to their own feelings and needs are often very insensitive to the feelings and needs of others.
I used to be that kind of person. I could perceive incoming nuclear missiles where there was absolutely nothing—not even a swarm of gnats. I was a master of the not-so-fine art of getting my feelings hurt. On the other hand, I could drive a Mack Truck over other people, and then blame them for not getting out my way. I am less like that person now, though I still have my moments.
So, I have formulated the DTEB Sensitivity Formula: S0 ∝ SS. Sensitivity to Others (SO) is inversely proportional to Sensitivity to Self (SS).
Practically speaking, I need to ask myself a tough question, whenever I am being very sensitive about my own feelings and needs. Here is the question: What can I do to be sensitive to the feelings and needs of someone else right now?
I am not counseling denying what we feel, nor am I saying that it is wrong to have needs. What I am saying is this: I need to continually monitor my thoughts, feelings, words, and deeds by asking the question, “Am I being sensitive right now, or am I being sensitive right now?”
More than the strangeness of language is in play here. Whole mindsets and destinies hang in the balance with how we answer this question.
DOWN TO EARTH BELIEVER
- DTEB, “Getting Christ and Ourselves Back in Focus” November 11, 2024“Col. 3:1 ¶ If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Col. 3:2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. Col. 3:3 For you have died, and your life is hidden […]
- “Search Me!” October 27, 2024“Psa. 139:23 Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! 24 And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” (Psalm 139:23-24, English Standard Version) I am participating in a Bible study, and this is a prayer […]
- “Christian Speech” October 26, 2024“Eph. 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Foulkes, in his excellent commentary on the Book of Ephesians, writes the following, which I quote at some length: “29. Now the […]
- “God is in the Details” October 11, 2024“The devil is in the details.” (A general saying, often quoted by lawyers, reporters, and negotiators.) “God is in the details.” (Me, almost certainly not original.) “Luke 12:7 Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.” (Jesus) God does not micromanage, but God […]
- “Grandma’s Pump” October 8, 2024When I was a little critter, I would stay at my grandma’s house for a night or two sometimes. I liked this for a lot for many reasons. One thing I liked about staying with her was that Grandma’s house was much more technologically advanced than ours was. For one thing, she had indoor water—sort […]
- “Wearing the #14 Wrong-Side-Out” October 5, 2024Pete Rose, #14, is dead. Many of the old guys with whom I play softball watched him play and appreciated him greatly. I do as well. He was one of the greatest players who ever played the game. Yes, he admitted (eventually) to betting on baseball. But many of us still regard him as one […]
- “Passing Along the Love (and a Link)” October 4, 2024Several years ago, a friend of mine put me onto a daily meditation by Richard Rohr and friends. I don’t read them all the time, but I probably should. They are good! I thought that today’s writing was especially good, and I also figured that this would be a good way to post something. I […]
- “Witnessing Versus Being Witnesses” September 19, 2024“Acts 1:1 In the first book, O Theophilus, I have dealt with all that Jesus began to do and teach, Acts 1:2 until the day when he was taken up, after he had given commands through the Holy Spirit to the apostles whom he had chosen. Acts 1:3 He presented himself alive to them after […]
- “A Bathroom Prayer for Hurting Hands” September 11, 2024A week ago Sunday, my hands were hurting so badly at church that I went to the bathroom to run hot water over my hands. Arthritis perhaps, or carpal tunnel, or general orneriness—I don’t know why my hands hurt, but they do. They have for years. So, while I was running hot water over my […]
- “Waiting and Seeking” September 10, 2024“Lam. 3:19 ¶ Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall! Lam. 3:20 My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. Lam. 3:21 But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: Lam. 3:22 ¶ The steadfast love of the LORD […]
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