Posts Tagged: careful with the tongue

Questions to Ask Before I say Anything

On August 14, 2016 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

I am probably the only person who struggles with saying hurtful things, even (especially?) when I am trying to say something nice.

I frequently don’t even understand why the other person was hurt.  So, I take refuge in the old dodge, “But I didn’t mean to hurt you!”

That’s a lie sometimes.  There are times when I am trying to hurt the other person, but I’m just trying to do it by a stealth attack.  Whenever I’m sure I’m innocent, I am almost certainly guilty.

And even when it isn’t a lie, it is not helpful.  The question is not, “How did I mean that?”  Rather, the question is, “How might the other person interpret that?”

Admittedly, there are some people who routinely take everything as an insult.  The best thing I can do when I am around such folks is not to be around such folks.

But what can I do to minimize the madness of unnecessary madness?

I can ask myself certain questions before I speak.  Is this true?  Is this kind?  Is it really necessary to say this?  Is this said in the kindest possible manner?  How might the other person take this?

I would be a much slower conversationalist if I asked these questions before I said anything.  I would also do less harm and more good with my tongue.

 

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