Posts Tagged: companionship

“Not Alone”

On November 23, 2020 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

No, you are not alone.  I don’t care how alone you think you are or feel you are.  No, you are not alone.

In the “welcome” reading for newcomers to twelve-step groups, we read one four-word sentence to the newcomer that most of them cherish: “You are not alone.”  They cherish and remember these words because addictions make the addict feel horribly, terminally unique. She/he isn’t, but that thought, that feeling, is enough to drive the addict into the not-so-loving arms of despair.

But you don’t have to be an addict to think you’re alone or to feel lonely.  “Normal” people often have the same thoughts and feelings.  And of course, during this time of COVID-19-induced isolation and social distancing, we are all inclined to struggle with our aloneness.

However, I have a question for you.  Haven’t you ever felt alone, even in crowds?  That might suggest that togetherness is more than merely being around other people.  Even when we are with people whom we love and who love us, these feelings of loneliness can settle over our spirits like a grey fog.

Perhaps, then, we could use this feeling of loneliness-with-others in a positive manner by turning it around.  In other words, if we can feel lonely when we’re with people, perhaps we can feel companionated, even when people are not with us geographically.  (Yes, I know: “companionated” is not a real word.  But it ought to be!)

I am a beginner at this, but I am learning to have good relationships with people that I haven’t seen for years, as well as people with whom I come into contact via the phone and the internet.  This morning, I have had a wonderful, encouraging phone conversation with a twelve-step friend.  I just texted with another friend and sent my accountability report and affirmation to my two sponsors.  I had an interesting conversation with my dad, who has been dead for over thirty years.  I don’t think my dad and I understood one another very well when I was growing up.  We get along much better now.

My wife and our little dog are also in my heart.  In fact, I am going to have to ask God for a bigger heart to contain all the ones that I love.

And I am thinking about all of you who are reading this right now.  You also are in mind and heart.  I feel very close to you in this moment.

All of these people—and many more—are in my heart.  You can’t have any better companionship than that!  My life is relationally rich.  I am a multi-billionaire.

I am not alone and neither are you.  Let me say it again, whether or not you’re an addict:

You are not alone!

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“JESUS’ SELF-CARE”

On June 21, 2017 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

A friend who reads this blog always sends me appreciative, thoughtful, and thought-provoking e mails.  Concerning my post about loving and respecting God, others, all of creation, and myself, he noted how tricky it is to balance these things.  I absolutely agree.

My reply to his e mail was as follows:

“Dear James,

Yes, indeed!  It is tricky—perhaps even beyond tricky!  I most certainly have not made a good start on this.

In this regard (as in all others), Jesus our LORD is our redeemer, example, guide, friend, and forgiver.

I think I feel another blog post coming on (although it could be just a stomach bug) about how Jesus took care of himself.  I had never thought about that until your e mail.  Thanks!”

Generally, it is better to think before you speak or act, and I do try to do that (with varying degrees of success).  However, sometimes I think of things after I have spoken or written something.  After I had written the bit about Jesus being our example, I suddenly realized that I had never thought of Jesus as an example of balanced self-care.  Never!

I had thought about Jesus being an example of caring for others and for loving God, but had never considered that Jesus also took appropriate care of himself as well.

Jesus rested when he was tired.  He could even sleep in a no-doubt cramped boat in the middle of a storm (Matthew 8:24).

Jesus ate when he was hungry  (Luke 10:38-42).  Indeed, many of Jesus’ teachings were given while he was enjoying a meal with someone or a group.

Jesus reached out for companionship (Mark 14:32-34).

Jesus sometimes spoke up when he felt that he or those around him were being treated unfairly (Mark 14:48-49; Luke 18:15-17).

Now, of course self-care had its limits with Jesus, as indeed it should for all of us.  Jesus spoke of giving up his life as a ransom for many (Mark 10:45).  For each of us, self-care must be balanced by a willingness for self-sacrifice.  There are times when we all need to be willing to risk everything for someone else.  And yet, our basic instinct must be not self-preservation, but rather self-care.  Only if we are taking appropriately good care of ourselves are we able to sacrifice ourselves.  A firefighter, in order to have a shot at saving others, must be in good shape physically and mentally.  Only so can she risk her life in order to save the life of another.

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