Posts Tagged: correcting others

“The Fine Art of Correcting Someone”

On June 22, 2023 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

DTEB, “The Fine Art of Correcting Someone”

“Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.” ( Galatians 6:1, English Standard Version)

Receiving correction from someone gracefully is never easy. Correcting someone else who needs to grow is never easy either. Giving good correction requires thought, practice, and the right mindset. Correcting someone else is an art. Indeed, it is a fine art.

A friend of mine is a supervisor. His boss wanted him to speak to some of his coworkers about some ways they could improve. My friend asked me if I had any tips. Here is what I wrote:

“When you need to give some difficult feedback to others, four things may help you. At least, they have helped me when I have actually done them.

  1. Expect some resistance and defensiveness. You won’t always get it, thank God! However, that is a normal reaction when someone is hearing that they need to change.
  2. Assume that the other person really wants to be better and to do better. That is not always a correct assumption, but it is always the correct assumption to make. In fact, it might be good to preface your remarks with some comment such as “I know you want to do the best job you can . . .” and so on.
  3. Rehearse what you’re going to say beforehand. Ask yourself if you yourself would want someone to speak with you in this way?
  4. Leave the results in God’s hands.

I think you just helped me write today’s blog post!”

Paul reminded some folks in Galatia (part of what is now the country of Turkey) that they might need to correct someone, but they needed to do so in the right way. The goal is to “restore” or “mend” the person, not to harm them or prove that we are more “spiritual” than the other person is (whatever being “spiritual” might mean).

So, just for today, if you really do need to correct someone, keep these four suggestions in mind. Let me know if they work. Maybe I will use them more often myself.

, ,

“The Corrector in Chief”

On April 3, 2023 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

“Gal. 6:1 ¶ Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.

Gal. 6:2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Gal. 6:3 For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.

Gal. 6:4 But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor.”

One of the many problems with going to church is that God may get a word in edgewise. God’s edgewise word to me yesterday was not very consoling. I was made aware that I have a critical, fault-finding spirit that does not honor God or help others or myself.

This critical spirit (which I prefer to call “the Holy Spirit gift of admonishing others”) manifests itself in many ways. I give my wife unasked for “advice” (criticism) about her driving, even though she is an excellent driver. I give “advice” (criticism) to other drivers on the highway who can’t even hear me, using descriptive words that I don’t need to use. I “comment on” (criticize) politicians of both parties. I give my students lots of “comments” (criticism) when I grade their assignments, but not much encouragement. In short, I am the Corrector in Chief.

There is a time and place for correcting others. In fact, we have a responsibility to do so. But, as Paul says in Galatians 6:1, this must be done—this can only really be done effectively—in a spirit of gentleness. I am greatly afraid that most of my “correction” is way too ungentle to be worthy of the name “correction”.

One more thing: I also need to practice a lot more gentleness in correcting myself. Self-correction is an important part of healthy self-care. Self-flagellation is not. I need to resign from my self-appointed position as Corrector in Chief. Gentleness is a good quality we need to extend to ourselves as well as toward others.

, , , ,
Follow on Feedly