Posts Tagged: depression feeds on itself

“WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN I’M DEPRESSED”

 

I am a little depressed today.  The problem with being a little depressed is that depression grows up really quickly.

It might be helpful to list some of the things that I think are contributing to my depression.  Here they are, complete with bullet points.

  • I haven’t been sleeping well.
  • I got some bad news (at least, it seems bad for me) about one of my jobs.
  • A good friend and I exchanged some unkind words recently.
  • I was back up to 170 pounds this morning. (Hey!  Do you want an honest blog post or not?!)
  • I don’t do well with cold, gray days. (I may have a touch of seasonal affective disorder—or maybe I just don’t like cold, gray days.)
  • I’m depressed because I’m depressed.

That last contributing factor is the most serious one.  The really devastating thing about depression is that it feeds on itself.  The words of Frederick Buechner about anger come to mind.

“Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back–in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you.”

The same may be said of depression.  In fact, some psychologists think that depression is anger turned inward.

When you’re depressed, you don’t want to do anything.  There is a particular to aversion to doing anything that might help you get out of the depression.

So, I am trying to do only things I don’t feel like doing for the rest of the day.

  • In fact, I have already taken a nap. Take that, depression!
  • I don’t feel like taking care of or playing with our puppy, so that is what I have done and will do several more times before I go into work.
  • I don’t feel like shaving, so I will.
  • I don’t feel like exercising, so I will go out and walk for two miles.
  • I don’t feel like going into work, but I will anyway.
  • I don’t feel like posting anything on my blog, but I will anyway.

Hey!  I feel a little better already!

 

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