Posts Tagged: disappointments

“DISAPPOINTMENTS”

On February 19, 2018 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

The following is based on my journal entry from this morning.

Monday, February 19, 2018

Good morning, LORD!

I need to learn how to handle disappointment better.

Disappointments are largely the result of expectations.  I expect too much of myself, others, circumstances, even of God.  I have a friend in my twelve-step group who never tires of reminding us that “an expectation is just a premeditated resentment.”  And I always need to remember that if I hang on to a disappointment, it will most definitely hang on to me.  In a very little while, disappointment will sour into resentment, sure as I’m sitting here.

Actually, I occasionally suspect that disappointments may serve a useful purpose: They can help build character.  Disappointments help me to ask crucial questions.  Is this really something I want and need to do?  How much do I want this?  Am I going about this with the right motivation, attitude and means?

I have heard a saying that sounds like a cliché: “There are no unanswered prayers,  God answers all prayers. ‘No’ and ‘Wait’ are just as much answers as ‘Yes.’”  It may indeed be a cliché.  However, years ago I had a professor who pointed out that, “a cliché is another name for a common truth that we commonly ignore.”   If I had learned nothing else from that professor, that would have been enough!

Perhaps disappointment is God’s way of saying “No,” or “Wait a while.”  Perhaps God has something different that God wants me to do.  Not necessarily better, but better for me.  God’s “no” is often a “yes” that I am not facing up to.

Sometimes, writing things down can be therapeutic.  Attempting to speak the truth helps me to sort out what really is true, as opposed to trying to fit the truth into my own little twisted assumptions.  Who knows?  Reading (and reading this blog post in particular) may also be a way of you dealing with your own resentments.

(For another good blog on this matter of disappointments, have a look at a website I just discovered: https://feelslikehomeblog.com/2013/04/13-bible-verses-to-overcome-disappointment/.)

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“HANDLING DISAPPOINTMENTS”

On December 21, 2017 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

I don’t handle disappointments very well.  That means that I don’t handle life very well.

Life, at least as I live it, is inherently disappointing.  (I’m told that death is rather disappointing as well, but that is a subject for another blog post.)

“Life, at least as I live it . . . .”  I suspect that the words in italics are what fuels most, if not all, of my disappointments.  The problem is not life; the problem is me.

Disappointments flow from two sources, which are not two, but one.  One source of disappointments is my expectations of myself.  The other source is my expectations of others.  Did you notice that in both cases, there is the little phrase “my expectations”?

I expect too much of myself and I am disappointed.  I expect too much of others and I am disappointed.

Years ago, I took a course in basic fire safety.  One of the first lessons we learned is that, if you want to put out a fire, you don’t aim at the tip of the flame; you aim at the base of the flame.  If I simply mull over my disappointments, I’m wasting my time.  It is the expectations that feed the flame of disappointment, and need to be doused.

“But don’t we have the right to have some expectations?” I hear someone ask.

My answer would be this: “Yes, we have the right to have some expectations—as long as we are willing to be disappointed.”

There is an old saying that comes to mind.  “Always expect the unexpected.”  That is one of those proverbs that sounds like a contradiction in terms.  Perhaps it is a contradiction in terms.  However, it also encapsulates an important truth: The unexpected (a.k.a. disappointment) is so common that it might as well be expected.  In fact, expecting the unexpected may be the only expectation that is helpful.

Hopes and goals and plans are another matter.  They are important.  However, expectations are a drag.  When I am marinating in my own disappointments, I am not hoping, setting goals, or making plans.  I am just stuck in my disappointments.

And, of course, my disappointments can easily deepen into resentments.  And resentments are real killers.

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“On Hitting a Bump in the Road Instead of a Wall”

On January 4, 2017 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

I had a very close call on the road last night.

I was coming home from waiting tables at Bob Evans, Kenwood.  It had been raining, and I was coming down Muchmore Road near Plainville.  I guess I took a curve too fast, and the curve very nearly took me.  I lost control of the car, and was headed for a solid stone wall.  If I had hit it, I would almost certainly have been seriously injured.  Even a thirty-mile-per-hour collision with an immovable object is a serious matter when you’re driving a Hyundai Accent.

However, at the last second my wheels hit a large bump that I suppose was the edge of a concrete water diversion channel.  This had two effects: It slowed the car a bit, and (more importantly) threw the car back onto the road.  I drove the car home—slowly.

Sometimes life itself is like that.  We are tooling along, driving too fast for road conditions.  We lose control (or did we ever have control?), and are headed for a serious meeting with a solid wall and maybe a meeting with our Maker.  But something diverts us at the last second.  We hit a bump in the road that slows us down and throws us back on the road.

Perhaps we don’t actually see the wall we were about to hit.  If we don’t, then we may curse the bump in the road.  “Why did I not get that job?!” we ask.  “Why did that person reject me?” we whine.

But it’s the bumps in the road that are often God’s messengers—our guardian angels, if you will—that save us.

So, today I will give thanks for all the bumps in my life.  Who knows?  They may all save me from a fatal crash.

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