DTEB, “Self-Respect”
Years ago, my long-term sponsor encouraged me to do and live out daily affirmations. It has been, quite literally, a life-changing experience. Here is my 12-step report to my sponsors for today, and my tentative report for tomorrow:
Dear _________ and _____________,
No violations.
Yesterday’s affirmation: “Today, by God’s grace, I am respecting myself, God, others, all living creatures, and even inanimate objects. The word (and song) for today is “R-E-S-P-E-C-T.”
Here is how I think I did with yesterday’s affirmation: I was respectful to myself, God, and others today, for the most part. One thing that I can certainly improve on is thinking (and consequently, speaking) of myself in a more respectful way. My wife pointed out to me yesterday (for the how-many-th time??) that she doesn’t like it when I speak of myself in a put-down-ish manner.
Today’s affirmation: Today, by God’s grace, I am carefully monitoring my thinking and speaking to and about myself. I am thinking positive thoughts about myself, and I am speaking about myself as little as possible. But if I do say something about myself, it is kind.”
I have begun the practice of writing my report for the next day, right after I send the report for the present day. This enables me to think about and plan for the outcomes of my affirmation. I can always revise the draft the next morning, based on what really happened. So, here is my tentative report for tomorrow:
“Here is how I did:
Here is one thing that I did not include in the rough draft of my report to my sponsors. I will add it.
“O come to my heart, Lord Jesus, There is room in my heart for Thee.” (“Thou Didst Leave Thy Throne”)
“Let every heart prepare him room.” (“Joy to the World”)
My heart is full this Christmas, but not necessarily full of good things. I am full of regrets about my past. Particularly, I regret how I treated (and did not treat) my family. I have been selfish and controlling and sometimes even cruel. Sometimes, I wonder if I have the regrets or if they have me.
And then there is anger toward those I feel have hurt me. Strangely enough, these are often the same people that I have treated very badly. Amazing how that works out, isn’t it! And, of course, anger easily becomes resentment and self-pity.
And then, there are fears for the future. I am old and my body is beginning to break down. My mind is not quite as quick as it never was to begin with. I worry. I worry about my wife’s health. I worry if I can be useful to God any more. I worry about worrying.
So, I was out driving on this cold, rainy day, when I heard the hymn “Joy to the World.” One phrase says, “Let every heart prepare him room.”
So, I emptied my heart out of all its regrets, all its anger, all its self-pity, all its worries. I set out all this crap at the curb of my life, and said to Jesus, “Okay, Lord, there is room for you now! Come on in!”
Guess what? He did!
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