Posts Tagged: excuses

“THE KINDNESS OF CHECKING ON PEOPLE”

On February 22, 2020 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

“But the fruit of the Spirit is . . . kindness . . . .” (Galatians 5:22)

One really nice form of kindness is checking on people.

A good friend, who is also a faithful reader of these blog posts, had his wife send a text to my wife to ask if I was okay.  I hadn’t done a blog for a couple of weeks, and he was worried about me.

The truth is that I am both alright and not alright.  To some extent, my web silence has been because I’m enjoying the beautiful city of Tampa, Florida.  Also, while it is a lovely city, it seems to take at least 30 minutes to get anywhere, so we’ve doing lots of driving.  (The only exception is my twelve-step meeting which is only an eleven-minute bike ride away from where we are staying.  Sweet!)

Also, I have been working on a scholarly paper, which I am presenting at a conference in a little less than a month.  And then, there is going for long walks/runs with the dog.  And, of course, when you stay in any place for more than a few days, there are dishes to do, and clothes to wash.  Even in paradise, the trash needs taken out a couple of times a week.

But it was good for my friend to check on me.  For one thing, it reminded me to get off my lazy butt—or rather, to get on my diligent butt—and write a blog.  The laziness has an explanation, but no excuse.  The explanation is, at least in part, that I am mourning the closing of the university where I taught as an adjunct for over eleven years.  The truth is that I am also feeling rather sorry for myself.  Mourning is okay; self-pity, not so much.

Sometimes, though, a friend just checking on you helps to blow up your excuses and your laziness and your writer’s block.  Kindness is quiet dynamite.

My challenge today is two-fold: to be grateful for the quiet dynamite that others place under me, and to place some kindness under others.  Maybe this blog post will do that for you.  You have to light the match, though!

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“There’s a Lion on the Loose!”

On July 30, 2018 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

I was diagnosed with attention deficit disorder at the young age of fifty-two.  My wife’s response was, “This explains a lot!”

That may be true.  A.D.D. is a real thing and a real explanation.  However, as with anything else, A.D.D. can be used as an excuse.   When anything—even something real—is used as an excuse, it becomes unreal and evil.

So, recognizing that I am more prone than the average bear to have difficulty paying attention does not give me a free pass.  Quite the contrary!  It means that I need to spend more emotional energy seeking to focus on what I need/deeply want to do.

The same thing may be said about me that was said by one wise commentator about the lazy person and the lion in Proverbs 22:13.  “The sluggard says, ‘There is a lion outside; I will be killed in the streets!’”  Christine Roy Yoder comments on this verse,

No excuse is too absurd for the lazy.  One pictures the sluggard curled up inside (e.g., 19:15, 24; 26:14-15) and pointing outside, stammering about an imaginary lion wandering the streets (cf. 26:13).   . . .  [T]he verb räcaH  (“to kill”) is typically used for a homicide that particularly offends the community, such as the killing of an innocent citizen . . . .  The sluggard’s unprecedented use of the verb to describe an animal attack and, implicitly, to characterize himself as innocent lends further ridiculousness to the claim.  (Christine Roy Yoder, Proverbs, Abingdon Old Testament Commentaries (Nashville: Abingdon, 2009), 226.)

Whether I am struggling with A.D.D. or laziness (and I do struggle with both), or with anything else, the underlying principle is the same: No excuses allowed! Perhaps the A.D.D. and laziness are not the most serious problem anyway.  Perhaps it’s the excuses that are fatal.  The excuses are the lion, and they will devour my dreams, my time, my very life.

But how can I recognized an excuse, you ask?  One simple rule of thumb is this: If I am having to spend very much time explaining why something is right, either to myself or to someone else, it isn’t an explanation.  It’s an excuse.

So, I think I’ll declare a new holiday: No Excuse Day.  It is a floating holiday, and will be observed only on days that begin with the letter “T”: Tuesdays, Thursdays, Tomorrow, and Today.

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“CIRCUMSTANCES AND DOING STUPID STUFF”

On January 24, 2017 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

 I use my circumstances as excuses (even I know they aren’t reasons!) for doing stupid, evil stuff.  I didn’t sleep well (or enough), It’s cold and grey.  It’s rainy.  My wife is gone for several days, and I miss her.  My kids won’t speak to me.  I have to wait tables.  I can’t find a better teaching position.  I’m an addict.  On and on and on . . . .  Ad infinitum ad nauseam.

But here is the truth: I do stupid, evil stuff because I choose to do so.

And here is an even deeper truth: I can choose not to do stupid evil stuff.  Instead, I can choose to do something loving for someone else.  I can choose to praise God.  I can choose to do the next right thing.

Circumstances are not excuses for anything.  Circumstances are  . . ., well let’s face the truth: Circumstances are circumstances!

Profound, isn’t it?

Well, maybe it is profound in a rather obvious way.  Simple truths are the ones I most often trip over.  They could be stepping stones, if I would remember to walk in the light of God.  Instead I go stumbling around in the darkness of my own self-pity.

And that is the problem for me—self-pity, not circumstances.  I feel sorry for myself.  No amount of grey, rainy days can make me make bad decisions.  Not sleeping well can make me sleepy, but not automatically grumpy.

Years ago I read the following: “No matter of ocean can sink a ship unless it gets inside.”  I need to get out of the import business, when it comes to circumstances.

What would happen if I acted as if I believe what I’ve written here?

I think I’ll make some good choices and find out!

 

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