Posts Tagged: Father’s Day

“Satisfaction: An Inside Job”

On June 16, 2019 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

Father’s Day has been difficult for me for many years.  I wanted to be a dad, and am glad that I had the privilege—four times, no less!  I am glad that I was a dad, but I am not glad for the kind of dad I was a good bit of the time.  I made lots of horrible mistakes, and made them repeatedly.  I got some things right, but not a lot of them.  I suspect that I am not alone in being glad to be a dad, but being very self-critical about the job I did.

However, I am determined that Father’s Day will not be as difficult today.  Partly, that is because of one of the readings from Hazelden Publishing that I did this morning.  It really spoke to me.

“Satisfaction Comes from Inside


Why do we continually expect to be satisfied by taking in and possessing things from the outside? Amassing material goods and possessions more often than not stimulates rather than satisfies our appetite. What we do and contribute satisfies us more than what we have and consume.

When we are at peace within ourselves and in contact with our Higher Power, we make fewer demands on the outside world. When we are able to use our abilities in productive work and can give of our emotional and spiritual strength to other people, we feel replete.

Nothing from the outside can bring us happiness if we are at war with ourselves. Chronic dissatisfaction indicates that we have not turned our will and our lives over to God’s care, but are still trying to run the show egotistically. Complete surrender opens the way to satisfaction.

I want to surrender to the inner needs of my spirit.”

(From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.)

I was especially struck by the sentence, “What we do and contribute satisfies us more than what we have and consume.”

The thing for me to do today (or any day), in order to have a good day is to focus on what I am doing and contributing today.

The past is the past.  It isn’t going to change.  But today lies open before me.  I can either throw a poor-pitiful-me regret party, or I can be productive and contribute to the well-being of others.  The choice is mine.  It is also yours.  Let’s choose wisely.

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“Of Fathers Day and Regrets”

On June 18, 2018 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

Sunday, June 17, 2018

Father’s Day: Oh God, how I hate this day!

It is not that I hated my children or being a father.  But I hate the kind of father I was.

Of course, I helped to give them life and I helped keep them alive.  However, even there, my wife did all the heavy lifting.  I could have been, should have been, so much more.

Today, I sent my 12-step affirmation to my friend Will.  It goes like this:

Today, by God’s grace, I am celebrating the memory of my own earthly father, the “fatherhood” of all who have mentored me over the years, and God’s perfect fatherliness.  I am also encouraging other fathers today.

It is easy to say, but difficult to stay with these things.  Regret is easy—and deadly.  I am eaten up with regrets.

Will even Heaven heal me?

. . .

And the answer is a resounding “YES!”  I went for an early morning bike ride in my community just as the sun was coming up.  Several things occurred to me.

One was that regrets are absolutely useless.  They accomplish precisely nothing.  Less than nothing!  They sap my energy, and keep me from living a loving life.  Jesus cursed a fig tree that wasn’t producing any figs.  Apparently, uselessness is not the sort of thing that Jesus was willing to put up with.  Needing forgiveness?  Yes, Jesus could handle that!  Uselessness?  No!

Regrets are also dangerous.  As I was riding my bike, I thought to myself that regrets were a lot like looking back while riding a bike.  So, I tried an experiment.  While continuing to ride my bike, I looked back for a few seconds . . . and almost ran into a parked car.

Finally, regrets dishonor God.  Do I really think that God can’t forgive me?  The Old Testament indicates that God can and does.  The New Testament demonstrates this at the cross.  My regrets are, in fact, a form of atheism.

Then, I got ready and went to church.  The pastor talked about consumerism (he is against it), versus having “enough” (which he is for).  It was a good sermon, but the very last thing he said was what nailed me and, at the same moment, set me free.  He was talking about 4 things we could do in order to know that we had enough.

  1. We need to realize that the secret to contentment is Jesus.
  2. We need to stop looking around and start looking up.
  3. We need to focus more on the “Do’s” than the “Don’ts”.
  4. We need to stop living in the Shoulda-Coulda-Woudas.

I realized that I had been living with regrets all my life, and that it was time to kick them out and change the locks.  This has been done.

Of course, I have no illusions.  Regrets will try to sneak back in again.  However, I’ve decided that whenever they do, I’ll let Jesus answer the door.  He’ll know how to handle such intruders.  Who needs a 38, when you got Jesus?!

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