Posts Tagged: goals

“ON THE MAKING OF LISTS”

On March 19, 2018 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

I like to make lists.

Of course, as with everything else that I enjoy, I tend to overdo it at times.  Sometimes, my lists become a disease, multiplying like a fast-moving virus.  I import the expectations of others, in addition to my own excessive self-demands.

However, the fact that a thing can become demonic doesn’t mean that it wasn’t once angelic.  The Bible seems to indicate that the demons are actually fallen angels.  Whether or not demons can ever be rehabilitated, I don’t know.  But I think that lists can be.

So, what do lists do for me?

Well, for one thing, they keep my attention-deficit-mind a little more focused.  I don’t want to oversell this, but lists do help me—provided, of course, that I can remember where I put the list and remember to look at it every once in a while.

Also, there is a satisfaction that comes from checking off, one-by-one, the items on my lists.  It is a pretty cheap form of entertainment, but it entertains me nevertheless.  Years ago, I heard someone speak of “the satisfaction of a bill marked PAID.”  There is a similar satisfaction that is the fruit of an item on the list that is checked off.

Of course, a TO-DO list is no substitute for having worthwhile goals in the first place.  And these goals must themselves flow from a commitment to good, solid values that not only serve me well, but also serve other people, our planet, and God.  A list populated with trivia is still trivial, even if I check it all off.

However, it is precisely at the point of my values and goals that I find the greatest benefit to lists.  Here is how this works for me: Lists often make me ask difficult questions that I don’t really want to ask.  Lists invite me to ask such questions as  these:

  • Do the items on this list reflect my best values and goals?
  • Does doing this item and crossing it off my list make me a better person?
  • Do the things on this list have a shot at helping to make other people better?
  • Does what I’m doing benefit the planet?
  • Does this list and the items on it make God look as good as God is?
  • If the answer to any of the above questions is “No” or “I don’t know,” why am I doing this stuff?

And then, I can ask two more questions:

  • What can I take off the list to make room for the things that do matter?
  • What do I need to add to the list?

I am comforted a bit in my list-making by the fact that God apparently likes lists as well.  There are of course, various lists in the Bible: lists of sacrifices, lists of holy days, and so on.  One of the most famous lists is the Ten Commandments.  It is always good to remind myself that I must not murder anyone today.  (I think that, by extension, this might include not assassinating anyone’s reputation.)

The most famous list of the New Testament actually quotes and puts together two commandments from the Old Testament.  Jesus was asked what was the greatest commandment.  Jesus did not answer with one commandment.  Instead, he made a list of two: Love God and love your neighbor as yourself.  Perhaps my individual lists would be improved if I remembered this two-item list.

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“HANDLING DISAPPOINTMENTS”

On December 21, 2017 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

I don’t handle disappointments very well.  That means that I don’t handle life very well.

Life, at least as I live it, is inherently disappointing.  (I’m told that death is rather disappointing as well, but that is a subject for another blog post.)

“Life, at least as I live it . . . .”  I suspect that the words in italics are what fuels most, if not all, of my disappointments.  The problem is not life; the problem is me.

Disappointments flow from two sources, which are not two, but one.  One source of disappointments is my expectations of myself.  The other source is my expectations of others.  Did you notice that in both cases, there is the little phrase “my expectations”?

I expect too much of myself and I am disappointed.  I expect too much of others and I am disappointed.

Years ago, I took a course in basic fire safety.  One of the first lessons we learned is that, if you want to put out a fire, you don’t aim at the tip of the flame; you aim at the base of the flame.  If I simply mull over my disappointments, I’m wasting my time.  It is the expectations that feed the flame of disappointment, and need to be doused.

“But don’t we have the right to have some expectations?” I hear someone ask.

My answer would be this: “Yes, we have the right to have some expectations—as long as we are willing to be disappointed.”

There is an old saying that comes to mind.  “Always expect the unexpected.”  That is one of those proverbs that sounds like a contradiction in terms.  Perhaps it is a contradiction in terms.  However, it also encapsulates an important truth: The unexpected (a.k.a. disappointment) is so common that it might as well be expected.  In fact, expecting the unexpected may be the only expectation that is helpful.

Hopes and goals and plans are another matter.  They are important.  However, expectations are a drag.  When I am marinating in my own disappointments, I am not hoping, setting goals, or making plans.  I am just stuck in my disappointments.

And, of course, my disappointments can easily deepen into resentments.  And resentments are real killers.

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