Posts Tagged: happiness

“THE CHOICE BETWEEN HAPPINESS AND JEALOUSY”

On August 30, 2018 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

I just discovered that two of my favorite musicians have a close connection.  I had no idea before today.

I have loved Al Stewart for decades.  I was listening to a cd of his song “Time Passages,” when the name Peter White came up.  I supposed (correctly) that Peter White was the writer or co-writer of “Time Passages.”

And then it hit me: Was this the same Peter White whose smooth jazz guitar I have come to love through AccuRadio?  “Peter White” is a fairly common name, but . . .

And, sure enough, it was the same Peter White!  Cool!  In fact, Peter White not only helped write that song, but many others that Stewart performed.  They collaborated on music for some twenty years.  White also played in Stewart’s band, and is behind many of the great guitar licks on “Time Passages” and other Stewart songs.

Have you ever had a similar experience with two people that you know personally and like a lot?  You suddenly discover that, not only do they know one another; they are also good friends with one another, as well as with you.

And what do you experience in that moment?  Happiness?  Or jealousy?  Or some mixture of the two?

I may be a uniquely selfish, possessive person, but I rather doubt it.  Mixed feelings are probably normal feelings.

And yet . . .  And yet!

The music, in all its glory and beauty, is in the collaboration, isn’t it?  Stewart without White is simply good, but not as good.

And what do I bring to the party?  Appreciation!  Gratitude!  Happiness!

I have a couple of good friends.  We’ll call them “Steve” and “Will.”  Due to distance, we don’t get together physically very often, but we frequently call.  We pray for one another, hold one another accountable, give advice when asked (and sometimes, when not asked), and mostly encourage one another.  No jealousy!

Where the choice between happiness and jealousy becomes more important and much murkier is with husbands and wives.  I do not believe in “open marriages.”  Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I think that I am just plain right on this one.  Marriage should be a committed and exclusive relationship.

On the other hand, maybe it shouldn’t.

Now, before both my friends and my wife think that I’ve lost my mind, let me explain.  My wife is, right now, taking care of her mom.  Mom is probably at a “transitional point” in life.  The expression “transitional point” is a euphemism for no longer being able to live in her own home.  For the past couple of years, my “retired” (??) wife has been helping care for her mom.  This, of course, means that I have had to “share” my wife with her mom.

Have I always been happy about this?  No.  Have I sometimes been jealous?  Yes.

But, whenever I begin to feel the “Green Monster” of jealousy stir in my heart and mind, I remind myself of one very important fact: Real love for one is ultimately real love for all.  Love is one of those things—like joy itself—that grows the more it is shared.

So, I try to remember that loving collaboration is where the music is, that the more my sweetheart loves her mom and others, the more love she has for me as well.  Al Stewart is good on his own.  So is Peter White.  Put then together, and they’re dynamite.

I choose happiness!

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“TROLLS”  

On November 13, 2016 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

 

My wife and I went to see the movie “Trolls” last night.  She initially wanted to see “Hacksaw Ridge,” which I had heard good things about.  However, I wanted something lighter, due to the rather heavy political events that occurred this week.

“Trolls” was not (in my opinion) a great movie, and it was a lot more intense than I thought it would be.  (Perhaps I made it so, because of the self I took into the cinema.)  However, while it wasn’t a great movie, it was a good one.

So what is the movie about?  It is about trolls—small creatures who have an outsized penchant for happiness.  They sing and dance and hug a lot.

But, of course, to have a story, you have to have villains.  Perpetual happiness doesn’t make for a story.  The villains in “Trolls” are the Bergens—very large creatures who live in stone cities, and who have a huge capacity for misery and cruelty.  However, they can taste happiness one time per year.  They do this by eating a troll.  Since the trolls and their tree are caged in the middle of the Bergens’ city, it looks pretty hopeless for the trolls as the movie begins.

It is the festival day for consuming trolls.  We are introduced to the king of Bergen and to his young son, Prince Gristle, Jr.  The young prince is about to have his first taste of troll and, therefore, of happiness.  However, unbeknownst to the Bergens, the Trolls have tunneled beyond the city walls and are escaping.  “No troll left behind!” shouts the king.  Sure enough, they all escape.

I’ll stop there with the plot.  There are a number of plot twists, and I don’t want to ruin your enjoyment of the movie.  You really should see it.

However, I do want to mention a few of the questions that the movie invited me to ponder.

What is happiness?  Is it really what “everybody knows” it is?  How do we know that what we know is true?  Is happiness merely a matter of consuming?  Is it fleeting?  What is the role of togetherness in happiness?

How do we handle radical danger?  Do we run and hide?  Do we become hermit survivalists?  Or do we risk ourselves to save others.  Do we let our own past wrongs or those done to us or those we love determine our present, our future, our character?

Do we simply give up on our enemies?  Do we assume that they are irredeemable?

Everything we do, and see, and hear—even Disney movies—change us in some way, however slightly that may be.  My sweetheart and I came away from the movie with a greater determination to recognize our happiness, and to be happy.

At home, we enjoyed a nice breakfast at 7:30 p.m.  While she was fixing our meal, I moved some of the furniture, and set my laptop up in the living room.  We went on You Tube, and I found some websites that gave instructions about simple dance steps.

So, here were two hybrids, a cross between Bergens and Trolls, two old people trying to learn to dance.  We sang along with some old love songs, and we hugged before we went to bed.

And, yes: We were very happy indeed!

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