Posts Tagged: hell

“Preferences Become Cages”

I have a friend with whom I frequently talk on the phone.  I find him to be a wonderful blend of kind and insightful.

I mentioned to him this morning that I am trying to get over my preferences.  Could he pray for me about that?  He said something that I immediately thought was profoundly true: “Preferences become cages.”

Yes!

I have noticed that when I get what I want, I am not necessarily happy.  Come to think of it, I’m not sure I remember ever getting what I wanted, and being tremendously happy with it.  Of course, I may just be getting old and forgetful.  However, I doubt it.

But what’s wrong with having preferences, you ask?  Probably, not much.

It’s just that, when I have preferences, pretty soon, the preferences have me.  Any time that any material or emotional or relational thing possesses me, I’m possessed.  And possession (demonic or otherwise) is not good.

Also, when I have preferences, they come prepackaged with resentment.  The resentment may not kick in right away.  It may lie dormant for years.  But then, at some point, I don’t get my preferences, and the resentment becomes active.

Furthermore, preferences keep me from the happiness of surprise.  One of the reasons very small children enjoy playing peek-a-boo may be that they have not yet developed preferences about when they will see you.  (Some folks, by the time they are teenagers, prefer not to see their parents at all.)  Whether preferences are met or not, the happiness of surprise evaporates.

Finally, preferences keep me from making new friends, learning new things, experiencing the moment in an open-minded way.  Preferences turn me into a prisoner of my own expectations.

On second thought, maybe there is a lot that is wrong with preferences.

I don’t know what hell is like, and would rather not find out, thank you!  However, I wonder if it isn’t a place where we are imprisoned with our increasingly precise preferences.

Stay out of hell!  Okay?  I’ll try to stay out of it as well.

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