This morning, my virtual 12-step group had as one of its topics, “How to stay motivated in recovery, especially when you’re not.” It is a wonderful topic about a struggle that I have almost all the time.
Of course, it is not just in the arena of addiction-recovery that I struggle with motivation. This is a battle in every area of my life. Let me list a few areas where I am frequently about as motivated as dirty dishwater:
Now, I hate to say it, but this is only a partial list. This is not an isolated thunderstorm in my life. It is a massive hurricane.
However, I have discovered some things that work when I choose to do them. Here is a much shorter list of good practices:
I’m sure that there are more things that help with motivation, and I hope to hear from some of you about what works for you. However, I need to warn you: The good practices I’ve listed above only work when I actually do them. And I don’t always do them. Far too often, I marinate in my own lack of motivation.
I am reminded of the old joke about the tourist who was visiting New York city for the first time. He stopped a stranger, and asked, “How do you get to get Carnegie Hall?”
The New Yorker replied, “Practice! Practice! Practice!”
Motivation is a muscle. You have to regularly exercise it if you want it to grow. Neglect it, and it will atrophy more quickly than you can say, “Nah, I don’t feel like doing that.”
Today, my bride and I celebrate forty-five years of being married. I am more in love with her than ever, more than I ever thought I could be.
I am still a beginner at this love business, but beginners can teach a lot. So, here are some rather random thoughts about love and marriage from this beginner.
Happy anniversary, dearest. I hope that we have many more.
“The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think and what you do is who you become.” (Heraclitus)
I was just about to play some computer word games. The problem is that I am trying to eliminate them for a while. If I could play ten minutes and stop, that might be okay. However, I tend to play ten minutes, and then keep playing.
So, instead, I read some quotes from one of my favorite philosophers: Heraclitus. When I read the above quote, I was so glad that I had chosen not to play any computer games, because I don’t really want to become a computer game.
What do I want to become? I want to become love, humility, kindness, and courage. I want to become more like Jesus Christ.
But here is the important question: Am I in fact making the moment-by-moment decisions about my choices, thoughts and deeds that will help me to become more loving, humble, kind, courageous, and Christ-like?
Wanting is not enough. Choices, thoughts and deeds matter.
In one of my 12-step readings this morning, the author (anonymous as you might expect) pointed out that there are two basic requirements for sobriety: trusting God and doing something for your recovery.
It isn’t a case of either/or. It is a matter of both/and. And I’ve noticed that the more I really trust God, the more I am freed up to do what I need to do to be sober. And the more I do what I need to do to be sober, the more I trust God.
You’ve heard of vicious cycles? Trusting God and doing what I deeply need to do is a virtuous cycle.
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