A wise young friend of mine and I were chatting on the phone yesterday. He was requesting prayer that he would keep his “reservoir of empathy” filled.
What a wonderful metaphor! A reservoir is deep, and you can draw on it in a time of need. I’m afraid that, sometimes, my empathy is more of a trickle than a reservoir. You too?
My friend’s metaphor provoked a metaphor of my own. I was thinking that maybe empathy is a bit like muscles. If muscles are not used, they atrophy. It is the same way with empathy.
But, by the same token, muscles can be strengthened—provided that you challenge them consistently and slowly. It is the same with empathy.
Too often, whether with physical muscles or empathetic muscles, I want to take shortcuts. I want the muscles to magically appear right now and with no effort on my part. But there are no real shortcuts for anything that matters in life.
I need to stretch my empathy muscles a bit—and more than a bit—every single day, many times a day. I can do this when I’m driving and someone cuts me off or tailgates me. I can do it when my wife is unreasonable. (She almost never is, so I won’t be winning any weight-lifting competitions thanks to her.) I can stretch and develop my empathy when I’m wanting to walk and/or run, but all my little dog wants to do is sniff and be balky.
I have plenty of opportunities to develop my empathy muscles. There is only one catch: I need to slow down, and take full advantage of those opportunities.
Want to do a little weight-lifting with me today? Don’t worry! We’ll start off real slow and easy.
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