Posts Tagged: invincible summer

“Invincible Summer”

On December 1, 2019 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

“In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”  (Albert Camus)

This was the epigraph that led off one of my 12-step readings this morning.  I am profoundly grateful to Hazelden Publishing for these readings.  They help make me saner—or, at least, a little less crazy.

I have been prone to depression for nearly sixty years.  It started just before Christmas when I was nine years old.  I didn’t even know what to call it then.  I have since come to know the grey monster only too well.

Especially in winter, it is a problem.  Some forty years ago, my wife noticed, one dreary February day, that I was more prone to depression in the winter.  In her usual constructive manner, she said, “You need to get some exercise.  Perhaps that would help.”

“It’s 270!” I replied.  I thought that would cool her jets.  It didn’t.  She’s pesky like that.

“Why don’t we go play golf?” she continued.  “You’ve been wanting to teach me how to play.”

“It’s 270!” I said again, as if she hadn’t heard the first time.

“We’ll bundle up,” she said.

Knowing my wife’s persistence (and being too depressed to resist much of anything), we bundled up, got someone to watch our kids, threw my clubs in our refrigerated car, and headed for the golf course.

After five holes of icy golf, I was feeling much colder, but a lot less depressed.  “I think I’m feeling better,” I said, through chattering teeth.  And then, I added, “You really did well for this being your first golf outing ever.”

“I would have done even better if I had had left-handed clubs,” she replied.  I am a righty, and my wife is a lefty.  She really did do well!

I have a lot to be depressed about right now.  No need to go into all the details.  It would make me even more depressed if I did.  It probably wouldn’t do a lot to lift your spirits either.

But now, along comes Camus, who is not known for his optimism, with this quote: “In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”

Invincible summer!  Now there’s an incantation with which to conjure.  I can certainly remember summer, even in winter.  And I can play summer songs on You Tube.  I can probably even create a “summer channel” on AccuRadio.

And maybe, just maybe, I can come to enjoy winter more, too.

After a long, grey, wintry spell, the day is dawning cold, but bright and clear.  Today, I will choose joy.  Today, I will choose to be invincible summer.

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