Posts Tagged: James 5:16

“Knowing People from the Inside Out”

A friend of mine who is a psychologist made an intriguing comment over coffee about twelve-step programs this morning. I was talking about how quickly and deeply twelve-steppers become friends.

My friend said that he was not surprised. “The usual way is for people to put their best foot forward when they are meeting someone new. Later on, people may find out the bad stuff. In twelve-step groups, you tell all your bad stuff first. Instead of getting to know people from the outside in, you know people from the inside out.”

In a little known—and even less practiced—discipline, Christians are told to confess their sins to one another (James 5:16). The Roman Catholic Church delegates this task of confession primarily to a priest. This may be an overly narrow practice of what seems to be simply part of a Christian’s job description.

Protestants, on the other hand, generally ignore confession to their fellow believers altogether. I have heard it said, “We confess to God (or Jesus), not to a priest!” The problem is that the Bible seems to speak of confessing our sins to one another. Only by a huge stretch can the “one another” of James be taken as referring to God.

So, when Christians get together and ask each other how they are, the standard response is “Fine!” or “Blessed!” While I do agree that we are wildly blessed, that is only part of our story. A lot of bad, uncomfortable stuff can be going on in the inside, even for those who are blessed.

Actually, I have known a few Christians who had their lives pretty much together. Then, I got to know them better. They were some of the most dysfunctional people I’ve ever known. Part of their dysfunction was pretending as if they had it all together.

There is a commercial for a bank that has cardboard cutouts that are the supposed support staff for other online “banks.” I confess that sometimes it feels like that with my fellow Christians.

Alcoholics Anonymous, the father or grandfather of every other twelve-step program, began in a church basement. Perhaps the church needs to go underground again, and begin operating from the inside out.

DTEB, “HOLY COVERUPS”

My pastor is encouraging us to meditate on the Scriptures, to chew it up thoroughly, like a cow chewing the cud.  That is a good reminder for me.  I used to be better at doing this consistently than I have been of late.

So, this morning I awoke determined to thoroughly chew and digest some Scripture.  Unfortunately (or was it?), my eyes fell on a verse from Proverbs, and I got no further.  Here is the verse:

“He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.” (Proverbs 17:9, New International Version)

The Bible says two things about covering up sin.

  1. Don’t do it!  In the long run it is neither healthy nor possible.  (Proverbs 28:13; James 5:16)
  2. Do it!  It is essential.  (Proverbs 28:13; 1 Peter 4:8)

Psalm 32:1-5 points out the proper order of covering and uncovering.  Verses 1 and 5 use the same Hebrew word for “to cover” that is used in Proverbs 17:9.  (I have used red font for the translation and have transliterated the Hebrew word in these verses.)

1 “Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight (caseh)!

2 Yes, what joy for those whose record the LORD has cleared of guilt, whose lives are lived in complete honesty!

3 When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long.

4 Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat. Interlude

5 Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide (caseh) my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the LORD.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone. Interlude” (New Living Translation)

The psalmist confesses that he had tried in the past to hide his sin, and that only when he confessed it, did he have a sense of blessed forgiveness.  Hiding our own sin is not a good idea, to put it mildly.

However, Proverbs 17:9 is not about hiding my sin.  Rather, it is about hiding the wrongdoing of the other.

Now, this can certainly be abused.  There is a type of cover-up that is not at all helpful.  Denying that someone has harmed you will make you sick.  Furthermore, such a cover-up will not help the wrongdoer.  The Bible has a great deal to say about confronting your brother or sister about serious wrongdoing (Matthew 18:15; 1 Timothy 5:20; James 5:19-20)

However, as I meditated (and masticated) on Proverbs 17:9, I realized (with the help of some good commentaries) that this Proverb is suggesting that we not “repeat” a person’s offense.  Literally, the Hebrew word that is translated “repeat” in many translations of this verse means “to do something again.”  This verse does not suggest that we ought not to talk with a person who has offended us.  But it is does suggest two possible things to avoid.

  1. Don’t repeat the matter to others.  That is why some translations use the word “gossip.”
  2. Don’t bring up the matter again with the person who has wronged you.

Both of these things are very difficult.  However, how do you feel when someone gossips about you?  Furthermore, if you are like me, when you indulge in gossip, it leaves a bad taste in your own mouth as well.

And, of course, bringing up past wrong-doings again and again is neither wise nor helpful.  It doesn’t help the other person at all, and it doesn’t help you either—unless, of course, you need some help in being bitter and unforgiving.  Most of us don’t need any help at all with those things.

Or, to put it more positively (as Proverbs 17:9a does), properly covering over someone’s sin “promotes love.”  And, most certainly, love needs to be promoted.

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