Posts Tagged: knowing people from the inside out

“Knowing People from the Inside Out”

On November 18, 2021 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

A friend of mine who is a psychologist made an intriguing comment over coffee about twelve-step programs this morning. I was talking about how quickly and deeply twelve-steppers become friends.

My friend said that he was not surprised. “The usual way is for people to put their best foot forward when they are meeting someone new. Later on, people may find out the bad stuff. In twelve-step groups, you tell all your bad stuff first. Instead of getting to know people from the outside in, you know people from the inside out.”

In a little known—and even less practiced—discipline, Christians are told to confess their sins to one another (James 5:16). The Roman Catholic Church delegates this task of confession primarily to a priest. This may be an overly narrow practice of what seems to be simply part of a Christian’s job description.

Protestants, on the other hand, generally ignore confession to their fellow believers altogether. I have heard it said, “We confess to God (or Jesus), not to a priest!” The problem is that the Bible seems to speak of confessing our sins to one another. Only by a huge stretch can the “one another” of James be taken as referring to God.

So, when Christians get together and ask each other how they are, the standard response is “Fine!” or “Blessed!” While I do agree that we are wildly blessed, that is only part of our story. A lot of bad, uncomfortable stuff can be going on in the inside, even for those who are blessed.

Actually, I have known a few Christians who had their lives pretty much together. Then, I got to know them better. They were some of the most dysfunctional people I’ve ever known. Part of their dysfunction was pretending as if they had it all together.

There is a commercial for a bank that has cardboard cutouts that are the supposed support staff for other online “banks.” I confess that sometimes it feels like that with my fellow Christians.

Alcoholics Anonymous, the father or grandfather of every other twelve-step program, began in a church basement. Perhaps the church needs to go underground again, and begin operating from the inside out.

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