Posts Tagged: life

“My Jesus-Life as a Therapist and Friend”

To start my day, I often read snippets from addiction recovery books published by Hazelden. Today’s excerpt from Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey (© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation), began with a provocative epigraph by Karen Horney:

“Fortunately [psycho]analysis is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist.”

I was thinking of life as a therapist, but my mind quickly jumped to life as a friend. The reason I made this leap was because of something I read many years ago. I can’t remember the source, but here is the quote as I remember it: “A therapist is a paid friend.”

Now, don’t misunderstand. This statement is deeply problematic. Paying someone to be your friend doesn’t sound terribly noble or helpful. In fact, it sounds more than a little demeaning to both therapists and clients. I have benefited greatly from years of therapy, though I am not currently seeing a therapist. However, while I have two good friends who are therapists, I do not conflate the roles of therapist and friend.

However, thinking of life as combining the roles of therapist and friend—and life performing those dual roles free of charge—that might work. So, I ask myself (and you) the following: What would happen if I/we stopped thinking of life as a puzzle or a struggle, and I/we began to think of life as a therapist and friend.

Hummm . . .

There’s an old rock and roll song that advises us to “hang on to our (your) life.” Perhaps it would be better to let go of our lives and listen to them. Maybe, as with other good friends, we could relax with life and be ourselves. We might begin cherishing our life more—just as it is. After all, we do this with our other fellow-human friends. We cherish them when they’re up and when they’re down. We love them with all their faults, and they love us with all our faults.

I suspect that what I’ve written so far is true, no matter what your religious beliefs (or unbeliefs) are. However, for the Christ-follower this has another dimension. Jesus claimed to be life, as well as being the truth and the road we need to travel (John 14:6). The one who follows Christ follows Life itself. And this Life is indeed a very helpful therapist.

Oh, and one thing more! Jesus not only claimed to be the Life. He also promised to be with his followers all their lives. Furthermore, he promised that they would be with him forever in his Father’s kingdom. If this is true—and rest assured, it does take some faith to believe that it is true—the one who seamlessly combines the roles of friend and therapist will never desert us. Not in this life, nor in the next. Jesus has your back as you go through your life-therapy and make friends with life.

“SO MUCH JOY!”

Some days, there is so much joy!  Not all days.  But many.

Joy in the fact that the semi-final softball game was rained out this morning.  Not that I didn’t want to play.  I just rejoice because the rainout is a fact.

Joy in weeding the flower bed with my sweetheart, even though I forgot to wear a belt, and my shorts were in constant danger of falling down.

Joy in writing a blog about mental noise.

Joy in looping Rich Mullins’ song “Calling Out Your Name.”

Joy in the breeze outside.

Joy in my puppy sleeping on my lap, as I write this post.

Joy in the goldfinch outside my study window.

Joy in having lived.

Joy in living right now.

Joy in thinking about my own death.

Joy in getting the paperwork together for donating my body to U.C. Medical.

Joy in looking forward to Heaven.

Joy in this planet.

Joy in my wife making gumbo for our dinner tonight.

Many years ago, a friend said to me, “You know, I think you have more joy than you know.”

Yes!  And now, I know!

Readers, may you be joyous today!  And may you come to enjoy your joy, and to know that you are in joy!

“CONCERNING LAUGHTER AND CIRCLING BUZZARDS”

 She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.”  (  Proverbs 31:25, New Living Translation, concerning the woman of excellence.)

6 And Sarah declared, ‘God has brought me laughter. All who hear about this will laugh with me.

  7 Who would have said to Abraham that Sarah would nurse a baby? Yet I have given Abraham a son in his old age!’”  (Genesis 21:6-7, New Living Translation, Sarah [who was 90 years old (!) after the birth of her only-born son, Isaac, whose name means “Laughter.”)

A lady told me a very funny story to me after church yesterday.  Her husband plays on a seniors’ softball league, and many of the wives go to watch—and to visit with one another.

One day, when the old guys were coming off the field, their wives were laughing uproariously.  When the men asked what the ladies were laughing so hard about, the women just pointed to the sky.  Apparently, there were a bunch of buzzards circling around!

Laughter is a wonderful thing.  It is on my to-be-and-to-do list as an every-single-day goal.

Of course, there are lots of painful and serious things in the world.  Sometimes, all we can do is just stand there, like a cow in a cold rain.  Laughter is not always an option, either for us or for those we love.

But often, we can laugh—even at very serious realities.  Especially at very serious realities.  Why do we laugh about politics, marriage, aging, sex, and death?  Because they are too serious to take too seriously!

I am not a very humorous person.  (I once made the mistake of asking my wife, “Why don’t you ever laugh at my jokes?”  She shot back with, “If you’d tell one, I would!”  Now that was funny!)  Usually, about the only time people laugh at me is when I’m being totally serious.

And, of course, I am most certainly no researcher in the field of humor research, though there are people who do serious research in the field of humor.  I am not joking!  A Ph.D. in joke-ology: Imagine that!

There really are some serious reasons to laugh.  Even such a sober and respected organization as the Mayo Clinic recognizes some of the health benefits of laughter (http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress-relief/art-20044456, accessed 06-19-2017).  I’ll just mention a couple of the benefits that I have personally experienced.

I suspect that laughter is our way of holding serious issues at arm’s length, so that we can get a better look at them.  Taking everything seriously all the time destroys our perspective.  Laughter helps us to regain our perspective.  I think that laughter may even help us to think of other possible solutions to some of our most vexing problems.

That may be related to the fact that humor helps us to relax.  Only when I am relaxed can I think of other possible solutions to my problems.  In any case, relaxing is an important thing to do.  Most of us, I suspect, need to practice the fine art of relaxing a whole lot more than we do.

I was once at a very tense meeting at a church.  We were considering making a major financial commitment.  There was a lot of discussion, both pro and con.  I realized that churches had split over much more trivial things.

When the vote was taken, the ayes had it by one vote!  I held my breath.  I think everyone who was there held his or her breath.

And then, one of the people who had opposed the expenditure made some outrageously funny remark that I can’t even remember now.  It may have been something to the effect of a lighthearted “Well, we’ve settled that one!”  Everyone laughed.  And suddenly, we all knew that we could go on being one church.

Have you laughed yet today?

 

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