Posts Tagged: living in the present

“Fully Engaged with Life”

On May 1, 2017 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

My twelve-step sponsor made an intriguing comment a week or so ago.  He often does.  But this one has gotten stuck in my heart: “Be fully engaged,” he counseled me.

Sounded good, but I didn’t know the origin of the word “engage.”  So I did what modern people do when they don’t know something: I googled it!  Here is what I found out about the origin of the word.

“en·gage . . .

late Middle English (formerly also as ingage ): from French engager, ultimately from the base of gage1. The word originally meant ‘to pawn or pledge something,’ later ‘pledge oneself (to do something),’ hence ‘enter into a contract’ (mid 16th century), ‘involve oneself in an activity,’ ‘enter into combat’ (mid 17th century), giving rise to the notion ‘involve someone or something else.’

gage1

ɡāj/

archaic

noun

  1. 1.  a valued object deposited as a guarantee of good faith.

verb

  1. 1.  offer (a thing or one’s life) as a guarantee of good faith.”

So, being engaged involves putting yourself or something you value into something.  Being engaged means that I am not a bystander (innocent or otherwise) in my life.

I am sitting in a hotel room at Myrtle Beach, watching the waves coming ashore.  The sun is up.  It is, of course, easy to be engaged at this moment.  I am here with my sweetheart, enjoying a few days of vacation.  It is wonderful.

Yet, even here, it is easy to disengage.  After getting settled into our room last evening, my wife and I went for a walk along the beach.  It wasn’t crowded, but there were some folks enjoying the late afternoon.  There were kids playing in the sand, and some kids were wading in the shallows.  It was wonderful.

But, of course, me being me, I thought of our trips to the beach when our own children were little.  And, at that point, it was only a stone’s throw to regret for the dad I was and the dad I was not.  The past is sand in the cogs of being fully engaged.

The future can also mess with being fully engaged.  I worry.  I worry about retirement.  Will we have enough to live on, and enough to do some fun things?  I worry about health—my wife’s and my own.  I worry about how much longer I will be able to teach, to wait tables, to mow the grass.  I worry because the strawberries may be ripening (and rotting) while we are at the beach.  I worry about the fact that we only have a few days at the beach.  I worry about whether the weather will be nice.  I worry about . . .

Well, listing these worries is making me more worried (which is one more thing to worry about), so I’ll stop.  You get the point.

If the past and the future can interfere with being fully engaged, I now know what full engagement might look like.  It means being completely present.

I started this blog post at home, looking out my window on a grey April day. I was looking out the window, watching the maple seeds twirling toward their destiny.  I think that I was fully engaged.

I am finishing this post at the beach, with the sun streaming through my window.  I think that I am fully engaged.

Thanks, sponsor, for the very needful reminder!

, , , , , , ,

DTEB, SURVIVING FATHER’S DAY

On June 20, 2016 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

 

I have survived another Father’s Day.  That is a major accomplishment for me.  Every time that someone wished me a “Happy Father’s Day!” it was like a stake being driven through my mind and heart.

Yes, I am a dad  No, I was not a good one.  Perhaps I wasn’t quite as bad as I or my adult children think, but we can probably agree on one thing: I wasn’t a particularly good dad, and I did a lot of damage.

I console myself with several truths, which I hope are truly true.

Truth # 1: Perhaps (and it is hard to argue with “perhaps!), I did a few things right.  Along with my wife (who did all the heavy lifting), I did help give them life.  My kids can’t take that away from me, even if they would like to!

Truth # 2: I helped keep them alive until they were able to be more or less on their own.

Truth # 3: I have tried to own up to the wrong I’ve done.  I have not done this to their satisfaction, but I do not exist for their satisfaction.

Truth # 4: While I am very far indeed from the man I want to be, I am not entirely the man I used to be.

Truth # 5: That was then; this is now.

Truth # 6: Every dad I’ve ever gotten to know personally is a very flawed creature.

These truths do not console me much.  However, my suspicion is that truth does not exist in order to console.  Truth exists in order to be true.

Meanwhile, it is June 20, the day after Father’s Day and the first day of summer.  It is another day, to invest myself in God, in other people, in becoming a better version of myself.  I think that I had better get over myself and on with the tasks at hand.  Right now, I need to eat some oatmeal with blueberries and a little brown sugar and cinnamon, run two or three miles, study, pray, encourage others, prepare for Bible Lands and Life Ways, work on a review for Stone-Campbell Journal, be emotionally available to my wife.  The kind of dad I was (and was not) in the past is none of my business.  My business today is today.

That is your business, dear reader, as well.

, ,
Follow on Feedly