“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.” (Matthew 5:14, English Standard Version)
“Today, as God helps me, I am a living reflection of my Heavenly Father.” (My twelve-step affirmation this morning)
But I don’t feel much like the light of the world or a living reflection of God this morning. There are reasons.
- My wife left and will be gone for a day-and-a-half.
- It is cool and rainy.
- The daylight hours are short.
- My favorite brother-in-law has covid-19.
- My hands hurt it (arthritis?) so badly that I can hardly type or hold my coffee cup.
- I am worried about the upcoming election and its aftermath.
- Today is the first anniversary of the closing of CCU, where I taught for eleven years.
- I am trying to change my relationship with food. (That is a very positive thing, but difficult, nonetheless.)
But I refuse to do anything to make a difficult day worse. I refuse to think harmful thoughts toward myself or anyone else. I refuse to eat a bunch of junk food. That would make me feel a little better for a little while, but it would also cause me to feel a lot worse in a little while.
Instead, I do positive things, no matter how I feel.
- I take and make 12-step calls and text friends.
- I make myself a cup of vanilla caramel tea and drink it out of a butterfly meadow cup.
- I read some good Scriptures (no Ecclesiastes today, thank you very much!) and other good readings as well.
- I take good care of our little dog, who is a wonderful companion.
- I send a text to my wife about what I’m feeling. (She texts right back with the most encouraging text I’ve ever received from anyone.)
- I listen to a TobyMac c.d.
- I turn on virtually every light we have on the lower level of our Cape Cod.
- I write this blog post and publish it.
I will reflect God’s love and grace no matter how I feel on this or any other day.
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